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Tribal Warfare
06-26-2011, 04:23 PM
Face it: The NFL is life (http://www.kansascity.com/2011/06/25/2975142/face-it-the-nfl-is-life.html)
By SAM MELLINGER
The Kansas City Star

Dear Roger Goodell, DeMaurice Smith and all the rest of you:

Don’t mess with us. These insinuations and hints and anonymous sources saying you’re close to ending this NFL lockout and making the season come off on time are cool to hear and all, but you better not be playing us.

Get something done, anything. Finish it now, because this is real. These are our lives you’re fooling with, the happy moments we Kansas City football fans have come to love, tomahawk chopping at Arrowhead Stadium or Boulevard beer and beautiful high-definition at home.

The lives you’re threatening to force upon us are grainy black-and-white by comparison.

Is that pathetic? Probably. But we’ve thought about what it will be without the NFL on Sundays, and it’s not pretty. Hopefully our mothers don’t judge us for that, but, oh heck, who are we kidding?

Most of our mothers feel the same way.

You have an unfair amount of power over us, like some evil combination of ex-girlfriend, current boss, and future wife. We can’t quit you. Run out of gas and we have a bad day. Catch the significant other cheating and it’s a bad week. But rob us of football and you’ve ruined our entire fall.

Especially here in Kansas City. Training camp is now a short drive up the highway. The Chiefs no longer stink, finally, with a newly renovated stadium and stars on both sides of the ball.

And now you’re threatening to take it away from us?

“It would be DEPRESSING,” is how Dan Deeble put it in an e-mail, and you might be interested to know that Dan is the head pastor at Heartland Community Church.

•••

The key here is to be honest with ourselves. Right, guys? You’re all rich. More than that, actually. You’re all wealthy. Roger, that $1 salary you took when the lockout started is a good PR move, but really it just reminded us you make about $10 million. DeMaurice, you’re a millionaire a few times over, too.

We’re not questioning your dedication to the cause here, don’t get us wrong. It’s just that if this thing doesn’t get settled, we imagine you’ll be disappointed but also on an island somewhere while we’re stuck at the cousins’ without the distraction of football.

“Gosh, I don’t know what I’d do without football,” says Chiefs linebacker Andy Studebaker. “I’d probably go to church. That’s something I haven’t been able to do on Sundays. And I’d probably try to find some ways to help in the community.”

Andy sounds like a good dude, right? We could sit here and tell you we’ll do the same things, that Operation Breakthrough or Big Brothers Big Sisters would get a bump in volunteers if you’re not there for us on Sundays, but, well, let’s stick with honesty.

The truth is: Kansas City won’t be a whole lot of fun this fall without the NFL. If that makes us boring, or without perspective, whatever. We can only be us.

There are ministers around town who think there will be more in the pews if the Chiefs aren’t playing, but just between us, most of them will show up just to pray for football.

One of the best things about Kansas City is the smell of barbecue in the Truman Sports Complex parking lot on Sunday mornings. With no Chiefs to tailgate for, maybe we’ll be eating mayonnaise sandwiches or Hot Pockets. Thanks, jerks.

Fall Sundays without the NFL mean time with family, but not the good kind. It means no fantasy football, fewer excuses to put off chores and meet up with friends, and the end of socially acceptable day-drinking on Sundays. Those waitresses at Tanner’s would have to find other ways to pay for their tuition.

We hate that it’s like this, honestly, and imagining life without the NFL is a bit of an uncomfortable reality check. On the one hand, maybe we should have more balance in our lives, more interests, more hobbies, more reasons to get together with friends and family and actually focus on said friends and family.

But on the other hand, what’s the point of buying that gorgeous new LCD television if we can’t have the fellas over for the game?

•••

Kansas City is a lot like the rest of the country in this way, of course. The NFL is as embedded in our Sundays as church — more, for some people. Marketers sometimes make the point that from September to January, nobody in this country ever asks, “What’s on TV?” on a Sunday.

Well, that goes double for Kansas City. Our interest is obsessive. Upwards of 70 percent of the televisions turned on Sunday afternoons are showing the Chiefs’ game. The ratings here for Super Bowls and playoff games are often the highest in the country outside of the participating markets.

“Usually this time of year your articles and the talk is about the Chiefs,” says Deron Cherry, the former star defensive back. “Considering the Royals are usually in last place, and they’re back there again, people are anticipating football and what will they have now? There will be an empty hole.”

Maybe you saw where Louis C.K. went on “The Tonight Show” last week and called Kansas City “a terrible place,” and worse.

Those of us who love this place would like to show him the Country Club Plaza or take him for ribs at Oklahoma Joe’s or an afternoon game at Kauffman Stadium, but if the Chiefs aren’t playing this fall Louis’ point becomes harder to argue against.

You’re arguing over billions, but this means much more to us.

Sincerely,

Kansas City football fans

Rams Fan
06-26-2011, 04:23 PM
R

Tribal Warfare
06-26-2011, 04:23 PM
R

didn't see it

Deberg_1990
06-26-2011, 04:29 PM
Face It, CP is full of reposts...

-King-
06-26-2011, 04:47 PM
Face It, CP is full of reposts...

KCrockaholic
06-26-2011, 04:47 PM
I'd rather see this re-posted 5 times than see poop, poop, shit, and pee like usual.

MIAdragon
06-26-2011, 04:51 PM
I'd rather see this re-posted 5 times than see poop, poop, shit, and pee like usual.

Good thing no one gives a shit what you think.

Kraus
06-26-2011, 04:55 PM
I'd rather see this re-posted 5 times than see poop, poop, shit, and pee like usual.

Piss off!

milkman
06-26-2011, 04:57 PM
You can't expect Tribal to take up valuable whisper time to actually look for threads already posted.

Okie_Apparition
06-26-2011, 05:02 PM
I want fresh blackberry cobbler for the 4th

KCrockaholic
06-26-2011, 05:04 PM
Good thing no one gives a shit what you think.

Piss off!

This is exactly the kind of shit I'm talking about. This place has gone down the pooper.

Chief Roundup
06-26-2011, 05:14 PM
yeah might give some of the posters that live on this site a chance to get out and find a life.

RedNFeisty
06-26-2011, 05:16 PM
what a bunch of whiny bitches! It was a great read the first time, and it was a better read the fifth time!

milkman
06-26-2011, 05:26 PM
yeah might give some of the posters that live on this site a chance to get out and find a life.

Why the hell do you even bother to post here?

You have a life?

Go fucking live it, and shut the fuck up.

Chocolate Hog
06-26-2011, 05:34 PM
Dumbass.

KurtCobain
06-26-2011, 06:54 PM
I'd rather see this re-posted 5 times than see poop, poop, shit, and pee like usual.

Your vagina is weeping.

Chief Roundup
06-26-2011, 07:08 PM
Why the hell do you even bother to post here?

You have a life?

Go ****ing live it, and shut the **** up.

Ahhh did I hit a nerve.

KCrockaholic
06-26-2011, 07:18 PM
Your vagina is weeping.

Your profile pic is of a vagina.

Baconeater
06-26-2011, 07:20 PM
Your profile pic is of a vagina.
LMAO He's got you there Joey.

milkman
06-26-2011, 07:26 PM
Ahhh did I hit a nerve.

I get it.

You feel like an outsider every time you post here, so you post that no life card.

I'm just treating you like any other dumbass around here so you don't feel left out.

Gonzo
06-26-2011, 07:32 PM
A re-to the post to the rizzle rizzle repost to the re re post you can't stop the post up to the boogie said up jump the boogie to the riggity re.
Posted via Mobile Device

Katie
06-26-2011, 08:30 PM
Who's Lousi CK?