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View Full Version : Chiefs Ten Things That Guy Did Today


KurtCobain
06-26-2011, 11:01 PM
Post ten things you think the guy above your post did today.

Buck
06-26-2011, 11:06 PM
1. pooped
2. created a poop thread on CP
3. wanted to jerk off but couldn't
4. posted a bacon thread on CP
5. played with kids
6. pooped again
7. jerked off
8. posted a thread about jerking off on CP
9. pooped again
10. posted this thread

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-26-2011, 11:09 PM
Doesn't the "What did you do today" thread cover this?

:p

Well since KurtCobain was above me at the time of this undertaking...

1. wake up and push the hooker out of bed.
2. eat some cold pizza and finish a warm beer from last night
3. take a shit
4. smoke a cigarette
5. smoke a blunt
6. drink another warm beer you found in the bathroom
7. masterbate
8. take a 10 hour nap
9. smoke a blunt
10. get on cp

bowener
06-26-2011, 11:10 PM
Tried horse semen

10 is too much work.

KurtCobain
06-26-2011, 11:10 PM
buck

1 . went to bed at 6am
2 . woke up at four pm.
3 . scratched ass
4 . watched some drama series.
5 . consider how drama series wasn't as good as season 1.
6 . check internet to find another chargers fan.
7 . jack off to Derrick Thomas statue in closet.
8 . call girl no answer
9. text girl no answer
10 . jack off and cry

KurtCobain
06-26-2011, 11:11 PM
Doesn't the "What did you do today" thread cover this?

:p

Well since KurtCobain was above me at the time of this undertaking...

1. wake up and push the hooker out of bed.
2. eat some cold pizza and finish a warm beer from last night
3. take a shit
4. smoke a cigarette
5. smoke a blunt
6. drink another warm beer you found in the bathroom
7. masterbate
8. take a 10 hour nap
9. smoke a blunt
10. get on cp
LMAOLMAO

That might be more buck.

thurman merman
06-26-2011, 11:38 PM
buck

1 . went to bed at 6am
2 . woke up at four pm.
3 . scratched ass
4 . watched some drama series.
5 . consider how drama series wasn't as good as season 1.
6 . check internet to find another chargers fan.
7 . jack off to Derrick Thomas statue in closet.
8 . call girl no answer
9. text girl no answer
10 . jack off and cry

ROFL

spida_man23
06-26-2011, 11:43 PM
LMAO

KurtCobain
06-26-2011, 11:47 PM
noonan

1 . Wake up at 6am
2 . Drink coffe reaed newspaper
3 . fiddle with the broken clock radio in shop
4 . Go to doctors to pick up hearing aid.
5 . Dinner at 3 pm.
6 . feed pigeons in the park.
7 . Stalk Eric Hosmer.
8 . Drink beer
9 . Pray to god that was a female.
10 . Drink more.

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-26-2011, 11:50 PM
noonan

1 . Wake up at 6am
2 . Drink coffe reaed newspaper
3 . fiddle with the broken clock radio in shop
4 . Go to doctors to pick up hearing aid.
5 . Dinner at 3 pm.
6 . feed pigeons in the park.
7 . Stalk Eric Hosmer.
8 . Drink beer
9 . Pray to god that was a female.
10 . Drink more.

You got 7, 8 and 10 right lol... well done.

OK and maybe 9 if I admitted it.

greg63
06-26-2011, 11:54 PM
LMAO

1.Posted multiple smilies.
2.Picked his nose.
3.Drank alcohol free beer.
4.Day dreamed about a weekend get-a-way with Carie Underwood and watching Three's Company.
5.Listened to Sweatin To the Oldies.
6. replied to stoopid threads on Chiefs Planet.
7. Ate a jar of peanut butter.
8. Belched the Star Spangled Banner.
9. Bleached his hair green and painted his fingernails.
10. Read the financial section of the USA Today.

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 12:06 AM
1 . Went to gas station for donuts
2 . Couldn't fold together box for doughnuts.
3 . robbed the clerk
4 . bought entire series of Alf on DVD
5 . Snorted straight plasma through a crazy straw
6 . Watched Dancing with the Stars
7 . Went to the lake to fish and ended up drunk at a gay bar
8 . hitched a ride home with Buck's mom
9 . Ate a shitload of skittles
10 . Fondled a puppy.


<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cpMTOqKOcMI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-27-2011, 12:08 AM
10 . Fondled a puppy.

Did the puppy consider it abuse or a favor though?

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 12:09 AM
He was sleeping iirc.

greg63
06-27-2011, 12:11 AM
1 . Went to gas station for donuts
2 . Couldn't fold together box for doughnuts.
3 . robbed the clerk
4 . bought entire series of Alf on DVD
5 . Snorted straight plasma through a crazy straw
6 . Watched Dancing with the Stars
7 . Went to the lake to fish and ended up drunk at a gay bar
8 . hitched a ride home with Buck's mom
9 . Ate a shitload of skittles
10 . Fondled a puppy.

HA! Well played sir! LMAO

My wife loves that stoopid show! I want to cram a dirty sock down that one chicks throat for screaming all the time!

greg63
06-27-2011, 12:12 AM
Did the puppy consider it abuse or a favor though?

How would he know?

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-27-2011, 12:12 AM
HA! Well played sir! LMAO

My wife loves that stoopid show!

Beat her. It's justified.

greg63
06-27-2011, 12:13 AM
Beat her. It's justified.

LMAO

I think your right; not a jury in the land could possible convict me.

Dr. Facebook Fever
06-27-2011, 12:14 AM
How would he know?

Did he resist or enjoy it... the puppy that is...

greg63
06-27-2011, 12:18 AM
Did he resist or enjoy it... the puppy that is...

On the advise of my attorney I am evoking my fifth amendment right against self incrimination.

Mr. Flopnuts
06-27-2011, 08:33 AM
This thread is losing it's burst.

boogblaster
06-27-2011, 08:39 AM
Mr Flop beat his wang 10 times .. or more ....

Gonzo
06-27-2011, 09:02 AM
Mr Flop beat his wang 10 times .. or more ....

1. Googled nude Bea Aurthur pics.
2. Posted on CP, ignored spell check function.
3. Snorted 3 lines of coke.
4. Watched mystery science theater 3000 on netflix.
5. Nap from coke crash.
6. Dyed hair blue to prepare for rave.
7. Went to rave, made out with a tranny.
8. More coke and some meth.
9. Crashed his 1982 subaru GL into a light post.
10. Woke up in a holding cell with a sore ass.
Posted via Mobile Device

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 09:17 AM
1. Googled nude Bea Aurthur pics.
2. Posted on CP, ignored spell check function.
3. Snorted 3 lines of coke.
4. Watched mystery science theater 3000 on netflix.
5. Nap from coke crash.
6. Dyed hair blue to prepare for rave.
7. Went to rave, made out with a tranny.
8. More coke and some meth.
9. Crashed his 1982 subaru GL into a light post.
10. Woke up in a holding cell with a sore ass.
Posted via Mobile Device

1 . Morning motorboating with some girl while lumpy is in other room.
2 . Ask lumpy to join in.
3 . Look for new living situation.
4 . Go hunting in the park.
5 . Get arrested for trying to bow a lassie.
6 . Make bail move in with bugeater.
7 . Asian ass porn.
8 . Drink Robotussin.
9 . Pierce tibula.
10 . Get on ChiefsPlanet to bust lumpy and sofa cyber fucking.

gblowfish
06-27-2011, 09:18 AM
Gonzo's Day:

10) Woke up, made corn pancakes. Fed kids some corn pops. Gave pets corn meal based dry food.
9) Hung around outside of Warren Buffet's House, hoping stray cash would blow out of his yard.
8) Pulled out the prayer rug, bowed towards Memorial Stadium, prayed to Tom Osborne.
7) Told Lawrence Phillips to "Stay the HELL OUT OF MY YARD!!!"
6) Went to the store. Bought some corn. Put the corn in water, boiled it, lunch!
7) Cleaned his cache of guns with corn oil. Shiny, smooth, nice.
8) Used an old Fathead Wall sized action shot of Larry Johnson for target practice.
9) Pulled out the prayer rug, bowed towards Kauffman Stadium, prayed to Alex Gordon.
10) Corn liquor before bed....sleepy time!

Sofa King
06-27-2011, 09:26 AM
Gonzo

1. 3 am. Went to bed after 6 hours of internet surfing for incest transvestite porn.

2. 3:05 am. tried to kick Sofa King out of lumpy's bed, got punched in the vagina mouth.

3. 3:07 am. tried to sleep on couch, dog bit him.

4. 3:09 am. tried to sleep on floor, cat kept licking his bare feet, gonzo came in panjama pants.

5. 6:30 am. Woke up to take piss, heard sofa anal banging lumpy again.

6. 8:00 am. Gonzo awakes from horrible night of tossing and turning. Cat is dead from severe anal trauma (must have happened sometime during the night). Front door is clawed to hell, dog is missing.

7. 8:15 am. Lumpy made breakfast. Best night of her life she exclaims. Gonzo doesn't care, eats 3 pancakes and heads to work as janitor at "Ride the Pole Dance Bar".

8. 5:00 pm. End of work day. Dancers begins, Gonzo grabs a Zima and heads to the front row, spends $20 in 1's on Fire Marshall Fabio.

9. 9:30 pm. Gonzo is shitfaced after 5 Zima's and 2 UV Blue Vodka Shots. REALLY needs to release some tension.

10. 10:45 pm. Gonzo gets home. Just had best sex of his life with the Fire Marshall. tries to climb into bed but gets punched in the vagina mouth by lumpy. says goodnight to sofa and lumpy. Decides to check out the internet for a few hours. 1 post on CP and 5 hours of tranny porn again.

Sofa King
06-27-2011, 09:27 AM
1 . Morning motorboating with some girl while lumpy is in other room.
2 . Ask lumpy to join in.
3 . Look for new living situation.
4 . Go hunting in the park.
5 . Get arrested for trying to bow a lassie.
6 . Make bail move in with bugeater.
7 . Asian ass porn.
8 . Drink Robotussin.
9 . Pierce tibula.
10 . Get on ChiefsPlanet to bust lumpy and sofa cyber ****ing.

hahahaha.

Pestilence
06-27-2011, 09:52 AM
1 . Morning motorboating with some girl while lumpy is in other room.
2 . Ask lumpy to join in.
3 . Look for new living situation.
4 . Go hunting in the park.
5 . Get arrested for trying to bow a lassie.
6 . Make bail move in with bugeater.
7 . Asian ass porn.
8 . Drink Robotussin.
9 . Pierce tibula.
10 . Get on ChiefsPlanet to bust lumpy and sofa cyber fucking.

LMAO

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 01:51 PM
sofa king would be

pick nose
scratch ass
play video games
beat off gifs on chiefsplanet
rinse and repeat a few times

Gonzo
06-27-2011, 02:09 PM
LMAO

Dicks
Posted via Mobile Device

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 02:12 PM
LMAO There were lines to harp on Gonzo.

AustinChief
06-27-2011, 03:54 PM
I can't imagine this thread is gonna go well....

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 04:05 PM
I can't imagine this thread is gonna go well....

1 . Put on a leather jacket
2 . Comb hair
3 . Wink and smile
4 . Hit the cp server and make it work.("new" sever, pssh)
5 . Visit the clinic
6 . Find out it's not full blown aids!
7 . Celebrate at the strip club
8 . Smoke a huge cigar dipped in draino
9 . Attend KKK meeting
10 . Bang Lady Gaga

Bugeater
06-27-2011, 04:28 PM
Masterbated 10 times.

BigMeatballDave
06-27-2011, 04:30 PM
Screamed at 10 infants to get off his lawn.

ThaVirus
06-27-2011, 05:26 PM
This thread makes me laugh..

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 08:29 PM
Why post and not participate?

Bugeater
06-27-2011, 08:38 PM
Masturbated 10 more times.

Bearcat
06-27-2011, 08:57 PM
Complained about the weather.
Yelled at some kids running through his yard.
Went for a ride.
Got home from the ride, threw his grass-stained shirt in the wash.
Checked the time left in the 2009 Big 12 Championship game.
Called Dan Beebe and told him to **** an AIDS tree.



(hmm, only 6... it was a slow day. :shrug: )

ThaVirus
06-27-2011, 09:04 PM
Why post and not participate?

I'm afraid I'm not very funny.

Red Beans
06-27-2011, 09:12 PM
Sold crack to inner city youth.
Admired his bling.

Sweet Daddy Hate
06-27-2011, 09:57 PM
Red Beans:

1) Smoked a cig.

2) Took morning dump

3) Smoked another cig.

4) Showered.

5) Logged-in to Planet and said, "another day of useless, non-football-oriented threads"? "FML".

6) Smoke break

7) Contemplated intrawebs-pron monkey-spanking session, but couldn't find a clip to get him in the mood

8) Made or fast-food purchased some bacon-oriented breakfast.

9) After-breakfast cigarette.

10) Went to work.

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 10:05 PM
RoR

01 Wake up in Cassel's bed
02 Give Cassel another BJ
03 Make Cassel breakfast
04 Call him Matty FuckNice
05 Tell him there will never be anybody else
06 Take his gum home to Matt Cassel shrine
07 Log on CP, try to throw people off of obvious Cassel love
08 Eat Spam
09 Go back to matt cassel's house to find out he loves another(gochiefs)
10 Anti-freeze.

Sweet Daddy Hate
06-27-2011, 10:09 PM
RoR

01 Wake up in Cassel's bad
02 Give Cassel anothe BJ
03 Make Cassel breakfast
04 Call him Matty FuckNice
05 Tell him there will never be anybody else
06 Take his gum home to Matt Cassel shrine
07 Log on CP, try to throw people off of obvious Cassel love
08 Eat Spam
09 Go back to matt cassel's house to find out he loves another(gochiefs)
10 Anti-freeze.

LMAO Rep.

rocknrolla
06-27-2011, 10:15 PM
Cashed in all of my change in truck and got 10 hookers.

Sweet Daddy Hate
06-27-2011, 10:19 PM
Cashed in all of my change in truck and got 10 hookers.

Did the pipe come quietly as well?
(movie reference)

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 10:22 PM
rocknrolla

1 . Rocked
2 . Rolled
3 . Had sex with a maple tree.


thats all i got

BillSelfsTrophycase
06-27-2011, 10:23 PM
1. Woke up
2. Smoked Cigar
3. Drank Beer
4. Pretended to listen to the wife bitching about #2 and #3
5. Smoked another Cigar
6. Drank more Beer
7. Watched the Royals game
8. ????
9. Profit

yhf
06-27-2011, 10:35 PM
Did the pipe come quietly as well?
(movie reference)

ROR:

1. Awoke from a Casshole inspired nightmare.
2. Took morning shit wiped with Casshole TP.
3. Performed ritual involving iguana blood, black market Casshole pubic hair and antifreeze.
4. Spanked while imagining a mythical franchise QB.
5. Napped
6-9. Repeated steps 1-4
10. Designed sonic the hedgehog inspired Chiefs logo that I don't much care for but have no right to really talk much shit on.

Sweet Daddy Hate
06-27-2011, 10:37 PM
ROR:

1. Awoke from a Casshole inspired nightmare.
2. Took morning shit wiped with Casshole TP.
3. Performed ritual involving iguana blood, black market Casshole pubic hair and antifreeze.
4. Spanked while imagining a mythical franchise QB.
5. Napped
6-9. Repeated steps 1-4
10. Designed sonic the hedgehog inspired Chiefs logo that I don't much care for but have no right to really talk much shit on.

LMAO

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 10:46 PM
I dig the sig ror.

Sweet Daddy Hate
06-27-2011, 10:48 PM
I dig the sig ror.

Thank you Kurdt Shady!

Gonzo
06-27-2011, 11:49 PM
Thank you Kurdt Shady!
1. Purchased 2 new life sized Sanchez blow up dolls.
2. Made sweet love to one of them while making the other one watch.
3. Drank 2 shots of cheap scotch.
4. Smoked 1/2 pack of camel non-filters.
5. Went to the doc for a rash, found out he had an allergy to vinyl.
6. Sobbed, uncontrollably while notifying the sanchez's.
7. Drank 4 more shots.
8. Said, "fuck it" and went to town on the dolls, again.
9. Anaphylaxis set in due to vinyl allergy.
10. Spending night in ER, but in a great mood.
Posted via Mobile Device

KurtCobain
06-27-2011, 11:59 PM
1. Purchased 2 new life sized Sanchez blow up dolls.
2. Made sweet love to one of them while making the other one watch.
3. Drank 2 shots of cheap scotch.
4. Smoked 1/2 pack of camel non-filters.
5. Went to the doc for a rash, found out he had an allergy to vinyl.
6. Sobbed, uncontrollably while notifying the sanchez's.
7. Drank 4 more shots.
8. Said, "fuck it" and went to town on the dolls, again.
9. Anaphylaxis set in due to vinyl allergy.
10. Spending night in ER, but in a great mood.
Posted via Mobile Device

WIN

greg63
06-28-2011, 12:00 AM
This thread is losing it's burst.

This thread had a burst?

SNR
06-28-2011, 01:17 AM
This thread had a burst?
I agree. It's a neat idea, but there are only so many times you can replicate a poop joke in this format.

Poop jokes need freedom. Artistic limitations cause it to go stale.

big nasty kcnut
06-28-2011, 03:50 AM
snr
1. had a beer
2.had bacon
3. read a book
4.viewed chiefsplanet
5.had another beer
6.call someone
7.had dinner
8.watched porn
9.had another beer
10. took a poop so hard that when it came out in drilled itself to the center of the earth and then snr had another beer

Sofa King
06-28-2011, 07:42 AM
Big Nasty KCnut

1. 6:00 AM. Awoke to a small bird singing magnanimously on the birdbath outside his window. Yawned, stretched, and proclaimed that this day belongs to Big Nasty KCnut.

2. 6:30 AM. Out of the shower and on his way to the gym. Hits new maxes on bench, curl and looks from pretty ladies.

3. 8:00 AM. Home from workout, enjoying a great healthy meal cooked up by the banging hot blonde twin sisters he brought home from the wine social the night before.

4. 8:15 AM. Turns on the news and reads the newspaper. Disgusted by the crap he sees, knows he can help.

5. 8:36 AM. Calls up his representatives. Gives them the idea that eventually would turn the state's economy around, accepts no credit.

6. 10:30 AM. On his way to a soup kitchen to feed the poor, he finds a kitten stuck in a tree. Big Nasty KCnut grabs the tree, bends it in half, and gives the kitten to the small girl crying. She is happy.

7. 12:01 PM. Soup Kitchen. Stays for 5 hours.

8. 6:00 PM. Arrives home. Makes a nice healthy meal, decides to check CP.

9. 7:00 PM. Logs on. Posts once in a thread about when the last time he pooped was, types horribly, gets bashed relentlessly, gets angry, posts more incoherent rambling, more bashing, loses all self pride, creates i'm leaving forever thread.

10. 8:00 AM 3 days later. Still it bed. Fuck it, he hates the world now. Fucking CP.

cabletech94
06-28-2011, 08:20 AM
Big Nasty KCnut

1. 6:00 AM. Awoke to a small bird singing magnanimously on the birdbath outside his window. Yawned, stretched, and proclaimed that this day belongs to Big Nasty KCnut.

2. 6:30 AM. Out of the shower and on his way to the gym. Hits new maxes on bench, curl and looks from pretty ladies.

3. 8:00 AM. Home from workout, enjoying a great healthy meal cooked up by the banging hot blonde twin sisters he brought home from the wine social the night before.

4. 8:15 AM. Turns on the news and reads the newspaper. Disgusted by the crap he sees, knows he can help.

5. 8:36 AM. Calls up his representatives. Gives them the idea that eventually would turn the state's economy around, accepts no credit.

6. 10:30 AM. On his way to a soup kitchen to feed the poor, he finds a kitten stuck in a tree. Big Nasty KCnut grabs the tree, bends it in half, and gives the kitten to the small girl crying. She is happy.

7. 12:01 PM. Soup Kitchen. Stays for 5 hours.

8. 6:00 PM. Arrives home. Makes a nice healthy meal, decides to check CP.

9. 7:00 PM. Logs on. Posts once in a thread about when the last time he pooped was, types horribly, gets bashed relentlessly, gets angry, posts more incoherent rambling, more bashing, loses all self pride, creates i'm leaving forever thread.

10. 8:00 AM 3 days later. Still it bed. **** it, he hates the world now. ****ing CP.

i REP people a lot. but seriously, this post is one of the most deserving of REP, ever! nice.