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View Full Version : Food and Drink Grandma Assaults Grandson Over Bacon Gluttony


gblowfish
07-01-2011, 09:39 AM
We should have a Thread Prefix just for BACON. It's that important:

http://tinyurl.com/622pr7c

Grandma Assaults Grandson With Garden Hose For Eating Too Much Bacon

Now before you get too upset, the 64-year-old grandmother in question used the garden hose to spray her 9-year-old grandson in the face, and not, well, wherever your mind just went with that headline. But she did it at full blast! And also beat his legs. And all he did was eat a generous portion of delicious, crispy bacon.

From The Smoking Gun:

"Marilee Ann Kolynych was busted Tuesday evening on endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges. Her grandson, 9, was not injured during the attack.

According to [police], the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych. A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and 'sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy's] face.' The child told cops that 'the nozzle setting was on full blast.'"

The boy eventually broke free, and ran to the safety of a neighbor's house to call his mom. Grammy Marilee was apparently still chasing him when his mom came to the rescue. Why bacon was the trigger for her complete, psychotic meltdown isn't entirely clear.

AndChiefs
07-01-2011, 09:41 AM
Finally an abuse case that makes sense.


:)

blaise
07-01-2011, 09:41 AM
I hope she fries for this.

seclark
07-01-2011, 09:43 AM
good for her.
i was raised knowing not to fuck w/grandmas bacon.
sec

WV
07-01-2011, 09:46 AM
mmmmm..........Bacon!

Predarat
07-01-2011, 09:50 AM
That is nothing compared to what my granny did to me when I got caught sneaking an extra piece of delicious Peach Pie. I got whacked with one of these things. It was made or iron and hurt like hell.

http://ny-image3.etsy.com/il_170x135.251032987.jpg

Gonzo
07-01-2011, 10:03 AM
He was achin' for some bacon I guess.
Posted via Mobile Device

boogblaster
07-01-2011, 10:03 AM
bacon bacon bacon
granny will take ya to the grass
bacon bacon bacon
granny will beat ya ass

Sofa King
07-01-2011, 10:11 AM
What a pig.

Rausch
07-01-2011, 10:26 AM
According to [police], the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych. A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and 'sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy's] face.' The child told cops that 'the nozzle setting was on full blast.'"

Great Granny was not much for hoarding or stealing.

I never got a garden hose to my face but I did get my ass kicked plenty and walked around the block with a dog collar and leash because "if you're just going to run off and act like a dog we'll treat you like a dog."

Phobia
07-01-2011, 10:50 AM
The child wasn't injured but the book is being thrown at grandma. Yeah. Nice. Everybody knows that you can't take too much of the bacon. Trumped up crap. They should have tased grandma and called it a day.

Der Flöprer
07-01-2011, 10:55 AM
The child wasn't injured but the book is being thrown at grandma. Yeah. Nice. Everybody knows that you can't take too much of the bacon. Trumped up crap. They should have tased grandma and called it a day.

If Grandma was a cop, there'd be no problem.