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Otter
07-05-2011, 06:47 AM
What's an opening line for a hottie that's probably out of your league? I'm meeting a lady for the second time today and if I don't try to do something it will be one of those things that I'll be and old man sitting around and wondering "why"?

She's short brunette and kind of a tom boy and I'm kind of smitten.

Pretend your a Cisco Techie and meeting a short haired smoking hot brunette. I'm in good shape, full head of hair and athletic, why am I scared? Let's do this!

So what's a good opening line under the circumstances you cock smokes?

4th and Long
07-05-2011, 06:55 AM
Forget opening ines and just be honest. Tell her how you feel. Nothing ventured ...
Posted via Mobile Device

JD10367
07-05-2011, 06:56 AM
"Hi. I think you're out of my league, but I figured I'm in good shape and not bald so maybe you'd pity-fuck me."

JD10367
07-05-2011, 06:57 AM
Forget opening (l)ines and just be honest. Tell her how you feel. Nothing ventured ...
Posted via Mobile Device

I would love to do an honest poll of women and see if "opening lines" actually work. On women with brains. Who are actually worthy of more than a one-night stand. I'd be willing to bet the answer is no.

BigRock
07-05-2011, 06:58 AM
<iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/WJq96xw9Yh4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

big nasty kcnut
07-05-2011, 06:59 AM
Just tell her hey i'm otter you know i like you and you know since your here you want to go get a lite lunch or a latte.

Brainiac
07-05-2011, 07:03 AM
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

threebag02
07-05-2011, 07:06 AM
Wanna get a pizza and fuck?

Okie_Apparition
07-05-2011, 07:26 AM
You put the shiver in my pee

Sofa King
07-05-2011, 08:05 AM
Tell her you have over 10,000 posts on CP.

She'll melt in your mouth after that.

Spicy McHaggis
07-05-2011, 08:05 AM
Sing it to her.


lmDTSQtK20c

tooge
07-05-2011, 08:08 AM
"I'm not very good with women. In fact, I had to ask CP what opening line to use in order to trick you to go out with me. I am however, incredibly honest. Thats hard to find in a guy these days. Wanna go out"

Bwana
07-05-2011, 08:11 AM
It sounds like you need to get her out to do some fly fishing. Low pressure first date.

Dave Lane
07-05-2011, 08:56 AM
The best first line is "Hey, whats up?"

Seriously.

Next do not be approval seeking or act like you give a shit one way or the other. Look around while you talk to her like she's not the most important thing in the room. Let her come to you.

Act like she's a dumpy short brunette, which give her time and she will be. So picture the future fat dumpy girl that you still think is kinda funny and act like you would with that girl and if you have ANY shot you will get it.

stevieray
07-05-2011, 09:00 AM
Dave is prolly the last person you should listen to on this subject.

Dave Lane
07-05-2011, 09:01 AM
"I'm not very good with women. In fact, I had to ask CP what opening line to use in order to trick you to go out with me. I am however, incredibly honest. Thats hard to find in a guy these days. Wanna go out"

If you aren't good with women this is a good crutch. You'll find out right away where you stand. Usually it's better to bring the kettle to a boil first with some witty word play, some innuendoes, and a little kino, but failing the skill to do any of that the direct approach is the next best.

Dave Lane
07-05-2011, 09:03 AM
Dave is prolly the last person you should listen to on this subject.

Dude I've forgotten more women than you ever dated, but nice try.

Pasta Giant Meatball
07-05-2011, 09:03 AM
"My name is George, I'm unemployed, and live with my parents."

Otter
07-05-2011, 09:04 AM
I offered her a Skittle and asked if she wanted to go to a baseball game and she said yes. It's a go so far!

stevieray
07-05-2011, 09:06 AM
Dude I've forgotten more women than you ever dated, but nice try.

:LOL:

...says the guy who tucks in his sweater and rips on women who wouldn't give him the time of day.

stevieray
07-05-2011, 09:07 AM
I offered her a Skittle and asked if she wanted to go to a baseball game and she said yes. It's a go so far!
perfect..like Bwana said, low pressure is the key.

Bwana
07-05-2011, 09:08 AM
I offered her a Skittle and asked if she wanted to go to a baseball game and she said yes. It's a go so far!

That's Great Joe, but you still need to get her on the river swinging some flyline, to see if she is worth the time. :thumb:

http://www.herndonrods.com/rod%20and%20fly%20box.JPG

Otter
07-05-2011, 09:15 AM
That's Great Joe, but you still need to get her on the river swinging some flyline, to see if she is worth the time. :thumb:

http://www.herndonrods.com/rod%20and%20fly%20box.JPG

Thanks Hoss! I never claimed to be an expert on women and don't mind asking for input and guess whose taking out the brunette, not some of you jugemental fucks...me!

And she's smoking Bwana!

Dave Lane
07-05-2011, 09:17 AM
:LOL:

...says the guy who tucks in his sweater and rips on women who wouldn't give him the time of day.

Says the guy who dresses up like dead people and goes out in public.

Pants
07-05-2011, 09:20 AM
Hot girls get wet for smart dudes. True story.

loochy
07-05-2011, 09:21 AM
What's an opening line for a hottie that's probably out of your league? I'm meeting a lady for the second time today and if I don't try to do something it will be one of those things that I'll be and old man sitting around and wondering "why"?

She's short brunette and kind of a tom boy and I'm kind of smitten.

Pretend your a Cisco Techie and meeting a short haired smoking hot brunette. I'm in good shape, full head of hair and athletic, why am I scared? Let's do this!

So what's a good opening line under the circumstances you cock smokes?

Say "Hi, I'm _____. What's your name?" Then just talk about stuff. If it's not meant to be it's not meant to be. You don't really need an opening line. Canned opening lines don't work. Just talk.

stevieray
07-05-2011, 09:23 AM
Says the guy who dresses up like dead people and goes out in public.

...and the women LOVE it.

jealous much?

stevieray
07-05-2011, 09:23 AM
Hot girls get wet for smart dudes. True story.

...don't forget funny.

Otter
07-05-2011, 09:27 AM
I'm going to ask both Steve and Dave to cut the shit. If you guys want to be invited to the wedding stop it now. Both you guy are cool but acting poorly.

*slaps knuckles with a ruler*

stevieray
07-05-2011, 09:29 AM
I'm going to ask both Steve and Dave to cut the shit. If you guys want to be invited to the wedding stop it now. Both you guy are cool but acting poorly.

*slaps knuckles with a ruler*

....just don't try too hard.

...good luck!

Otter
07-05-2011, 09:34 AM
....just don't try too hard.

...good luck!

This isn't my first rodeo. It's just one where I was actually nervous enough that I had to shake shit off a little bit. You guys are like sparing in Krav class and beat the shit out of me to the point where nothing can shake you or do worse.

There's little fear after that.

:D

ChiefGator
07-05-2011, 09:39 AM
And she's smoking Bwana!

I'm gonna assume you mean "She's smoking, Bwana", as in "Hey Bwana, she's smoking!". And not "She's smoking Bwana" as in "She is partaking in the Bwana."

Otherwise, what gives with Bwana bustin' moves on your chick?

:)

tooge
07-05-2011, 09:47 AM
I offered her a Skittle and asked if she wanted to go to a baseball game and she said yes. It's a go so far!

so then, next line logically has to be you offering her a skittle and asking if you can piihb

Dave Lane
07-05-2011, 10:09 AM
so then, next line logically has to be you offering her a skittle and asking if you can piihb

But only a green one :)

Saul Good
07-05-2011, 10:41 AM
I offered her a Skittle and asked if she wanted to go to a baseball game and she said yes. It's a go so far!

That's a perfect date without being a date. Its laid back (not an in your face date) and gets her a little out of her element.

What you really need to do in order to land a girl who is a little out of your league is to get her competitive juices going while keeping her just a little off balance.

During the game, work something along the lines of the following into the conversation: "People always say they want to try new things, but then they just wind up doing the same tired old shit over and over again." If she takes the bait and agrees with you, tell her you're taking her out again, but the activity is a surprise. Just tell her to wear a t-shirt and shorts or jeans.

Take her either to a shooting range (if you've ever shot a gun) or to a high-performance go-cart track like Sadlers in Olathe. She will have a blast, and you'll stand out to her.

If you're in IT, she probably thinks you're a little nerdy. Us that to your advantage. Taking her to a gun range will show her that you're a little nerdy, but you've also got a little bit of badass in you. Chicks love that combination.

loochy
07-05-2011, 10:43 AM
Tell her about how you have 10,379 posts on a Chiefs message board. Her pants will practically fall off.

DBOSHO
07-05-2011, 10:54 AM
Tell her her parents must be retarded because you think shes a really special girl.

60% of the time it works EVERY time.

Dr. Facebook Fever
07-05-2011, 10:56 AM
Do you work for UPS? I saw you checkin out my package.

Is that a mirror in your pocket because I can see me in your pants.

and my personal favorite...

Hey baby wanna become a single parent?

loochy
07-05-2011, 11:00 AM
Hey baby do you like anti freeze, aids trees, and fire? If so, I've got a treat for you!

WV
07-05-2011, 11:11 AM
Tell her your nickname is tripod.

Rain Man
07-05-2011, 11:15 AM
Take her either to a shooting range (if you've ever shot a gun) or to a high-performance go-cart track like Sadlers in Olathe. She will have a blast, and you'll stand out to her.



You know that this is a woman he's wanting to date, right?


The Skittle ideas was brilliant, otter. Keep giving her free skittles and you'll get her to subconsciously associate you with a burst of flavor. It's pavlovian or freudian or something. Next, you take her to a cigar show, or a female pole-climbing contest.

JD10367
07-05-2011, 11:16 AM
Tell her your nickname is tripod.

"Hi. Sorry I'm late. It's such a chore, having to strap my penis to my ankle in the morning."

Cave Johnson
07-05-2011, 11:24 AM
a) Is this the 20 year old from work?

b) Meeting her "for the second time" implies that you know something about her. So, ask her questions about things she's interested in. Rocket science!

Pawnmower
07-05-2011, 11:25 AM
Bring her a couple of these:

http://yummyjerky.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Tickets-Gun-Show.jpg


Then just start flexing and stare deeply in her eyes.

JD10367
07-05-2011, 11:26 AM
Break out the three-wolf shirt. She'll drop to her knees right there and work you like Wynton Marsalis doing a solo.

keg in kc
07-05-2011, 11:30 AM
A baseball game, eh. Good chance for her to show her bat skills, and ultimately end up slapping a couple of foul balls.

JD10367
07-05-2011, 11:31 AM
A baseball game, eh. Good chance for her to show her bat skills, and ultimately end up slapping a couple of foul balls.

I'm all for choking up on the handle, but I could live without the ball-slapping.

Valiant
07-05-2011, 11:38 AM
What's an opening line for a hottie that's probably out of your league? I'm meeting a lady for the second time today and if I don't try to do something it will be one of those things that I'll be and old man sitting around and wondering "why"?

She's short brunette and kind of a tom boy and I'm kind of smitten.

Pretend your a Cisco Techie and meeting a short haired smoking hot brunette. I'm in good shape, full head of hair and athletic, why am I scared? Let's do this!

So what's a good opening line under the circumstances you cock smokes?

I have found when I treat them as average girls they respond better. If you act as she is above she will act that way also.

Took the last one rock climbing.. I will one of these days take one to lazer tag for a first date.

JD10367
07-05-2011, 11:46 AM
I have found when I treat them as average girls they respond better. If you act as she is above she will act that way also.

Instead of trying some reverse psychology bullshit, you could always go way out there, and treat them like people you might want to be friends with (instead of some sort of target whose pants you want to get into as quickly as possible). And then see if something romantic develops. Nah, that's way too radical.

Valiant
07-05-2011, 11:53 AM
Instead of trying some reverse psychology bullshit, you could always go way out there, and treat them like people you might want to be friends with (instead of some sort of target whose pants you want to get into as quickly as possible). And then see if something romantic develops. Nah, that's way too radical.

How the fuck is treating someone as average reverse psychology that he thinks might be out of his league?

I did not say treat like shit, seems like you are projecting, you having problems lil guy? Need some therapy?

Dr. Facebook Fever
07-05-2011, 11:55 AM
Oh cool the start of an internet fight.....

:p

durtyrute
07-05-2011, 12:43 PM
Wanna get a pizza and fuck?

Whats wrong, you don't like pizza?

Okie_Apparition
07-05-2011, 01:23 PM
Don't name drop Dane McCloud before the third date

mikey23545
07-05-2011, 01:36 PM
Dude I've forgotten more women than you ever dated, but nice try.

I'm sure far more women have forgotten <i>you</i>.

Saul Good
07-05-2011, 01:46 PM
Oh cool the start of an internet fight.....

:p

Boy, that really escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

JD10367
07-05-2011, 02:15 PM
How the **** is treating someone as average reverse psychology that he thinks might be out of his league?

I did not say treat like shit, seems like you are projecting, you having problems lil guy? Need some therapy?

Sorry to doubt your vast sex knowledge, you're obviously a playa. Enjoy those bedazzled Ed Hardy shirts and hair gel.

Valiant
07-05-2011, 02:39 PM
Sorry to doubt your vast sex knowledge, you're obviously a playa. Enjoy those bedazzled Ed Hardy shirts and hair gel.

Sex/playa? Again you are adding in arguments for stuff not there or something no one talking about..

Do you add these comments because you are a moron or live in a fantasy world whereas if you treat a girl like a average person you automatically from the jersey shore cast. Maybe you are homely and that is why girls avoid your verbal contact, maybe you can make a poll about it, yeah that's it. Or maybe the women just think you are weird, which do not show hem this thread.

Baby Lee
07-05-2011, 02:46 PM
Get good at something involving a 'crowd,' . . . pool, darts, dancing, etc. Do that expertly, but nonchalantly, not overtly ignoring her, but not ogling her or paying undo attention either. When she draws her attention onto you, then involve her in the scene, perhaps giving her some pointers.

Fish
07-05-2011, 02:52 PM
Just slap her with your 10" penis and tell her to bring beer tonight.

Works every time....

Baby Lee
07-05-2011, 02:52 PM
Boy, that really escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

I think Brick killed a guy.

Valiant
07-05-2011, 02:55 PM
I think Brick killed a guy.

LMAO

Think that might be the most quotable movie evar..

Mr. Laz
07-05-2011, 03:04 PM
relax,listen,talk

Jenson71
07-05-2011, 04:25 PM
I think Brick killed a guy.

Story behind avatar pic?

Demonpenz
07-05-2011, 04:40 PM
I am going to assume that you haven't read Demongame. First off it is not really what you say, it is how you say it. Woman read your body and tone more than what you say. So just be yourself but BE SURE OF yourself! Now if you are a big pussy it will show through body language, believe me, if one drop of unrine comes out down your pant leg it will chase away this 9/10 hardbody. Just keep it light and fun, disagree with her if you have an opinion, and never give woman what they want until after you get physical.

WV
07-05-2011, 06:29 PM
Don't forget to ask her ex for permission to date her!

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-05-2011, 07:04 PM
"Come to Butt-Head".

Simply Red
07-05-2011, 07:45 PM
radiate confidence - That's about it, want it? take it, Ot!

Simply Red
07-05-2011, 07:45 PM
"Come to Butt-Head".

ROFL

bevischief
07-05-2011, 07:48 PM
"Come to Butt-Head".

ROFL

bevischief
07-05-2011, 07:49 PM
KY.

Crush
07-05-2011, 07:50 PM
Use the DENNIS system.

bevischief
07-05-2011, 07:51 PM
Do you like the back door?

Rain Man
07-05-2011, 07:52 PM
"Have I told you about the nipple research I'm conducting on my National Science Foundation grant?"

J Diddy
07-05-2011, 07:53 PM
If you think she's out of your league then she is.

I'd start off with "hey, get my a beer."

Then I'd tell her thanks as she's getting naked.


Of course, I've also been married and divorced twice....

Crush
07-05-2011, 07:55 PM
Do you like the back door?

http://i55.tinypic.com/2cz92k3.jpg

Frazod
07-05-2011, 07:56 PM
"If we ever have a son, you don't have to worry about him having a porn stash."

pr_capone
07-05-2011, 08:04 PM
Wanna get a pizza and ****?

follow up question would be:

Or do you just wanna skip the pizza?

PunkinDrublic
07-06-2011, 10:58 PM
Ask her if she's ever combed her pubes with a my little pony brush.

Bump
07-07-2011, 12:08 AM
start with this:

damn girl, I just want to plant ya and grow a whole field of ya'll

LaChapelle
07-07-2011, 04:34 AM
betUIcanpopcornNyourcoter

Direckshun
07-07-2011, 05:28 AM
Just rework any of the gems you've laid in DC.

Epistemological anger at nothing in particular works really well with the skirts.

Baby Lee
07-07-2011, 08:04 AM
Story behind avatar pic?

http://www.thewrap.com/tv/column-post/jon-stewart-creates-new-meme-willie-geists-disapproving-glare-28753

<div style="background-color:#000000;width:520px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><embed src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:video:thedailyshow.com:391129" width="512" height="288" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullScreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" base="." flashVars=""></embed><p style="text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><b><a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-june-30-2011/willie-geist---apology-chaperone">The Daily Show</a></b><br/>Get More: <a href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/'>Daily Show Full Episodes</a>,<a href='http://www.indecisionforever.com/'>Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>,<a href='http://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow'>The Daily Show on Facebook</a></p></div></div>

Otter
07-07-2011, 08:14 AM
"If we ever have a son, you don't have to worry about him having a porn stash."

Go shoot a fridge u bastard! :D

Sweet Daddy Hate
07-08-2011, 10:51 PM
Ask her if she's ever combed her pubes with a my little pony brush.

LMAO