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KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 07:08 PM
Who's up for a Chiefsplanet roast? I need 5-8 guys or gals who want to write a funny piece about a CP Legend. Also some jabs towards their co-roaster. I have the Roastee spot trimmed down to five deserving guys. Once the roasters are chosen, I'll give them the chance to vote between the Legends so we can get a guy everybody knows and has some interesting things to say about him/her.

Once all the details are worked out, I'll post the Roast thread and one at a time roasters will post their schtick.

Who's in or will this thread turn into a crazy cow butt pic thread?

Edit :

Here's some specifics and rules.

-In this thread I will select five to eight guys to be our "Roasters".
-Roasters are to be somewhat well known and very familiar with other CPers. 10k+ posts and/or 4 years minimum membership preferred.
-Each roaster will be responsible to have his gig ready for the Roast. This includes, but is not limited to, a humorous summary of the Roastee and a few jabs at your fellow roasters.
-You have to be funny and unleash your inner asshole.
-After the roasters have been chosen they will decide privately who the Roastee will be. It will be kept secret untill said roast because that's how I roll.
-The roast will be late this month, my last craptastic idea before the Season.

Hopefully this goes well and we get some laughs.

Don't be shy, sign up!

Possible Roasters :
Direckshun
stevieray
SNR
luv

ChiefsrGood
08-03-2011, 07:10 PM
shut up

pr_capone
08-03-2011, 07:11 PM
shut up

Fuck you n00b.

OnTheWarpath58
08-03-2011, 07:12 PM
LMAO

Off to a good start.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 07:12 PM
LMAO

Off to a good start.

I know, right?

ChiefsrGood
08-03-2011, 07:13 PM
**** you n00b.

oh god motorcycle thug

pr_capone
08-03-2011, 07:14 PM
oh god motorcycle thug

oh god random fuckwit poster

Direckshun
08-03-2011, 07:16 PM
I could volunteer to roast.

I fear my roasting of whomever it will be would be more of a malicious ass****ing than actual humor, but I think the two are indistinguishable on CP.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 07:18 PM
I could volunteer to roast.

I fear my roasting of whomever it will be would be more of a malicious ass****ing than actual humor, but I think the two are indistinguishable on CP.

We're excited to have you on board.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 07:18 PM
And a little disclaimer because I'm afraid to be banned and raped:

The Academy DID NOT approve this thread.

Count Zarth
08-03-2011, 07:19 PM
Roasters:

Phobia
Rain Man
'Hamas' Jenkins
Iowanian
Demonpenz

All would be excellent and funny.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 07:20 PM
Roasters:

Phobia
Rain Man
'Hamas' Jenkins
Iowanian
Demonpenz

All would be excellent and funny.

That's like hoping Pioli would sign the biggest name at each position.

Direckshun
08-03-2011, 07:25 PM
Roasters:

Phobia
Rain Man
'Hamas' Jenkins
Iowanian
Demonpenz

All would be excellent and funny.

Absolutely, except Iowanian...

I think Iowanian's a great zingersman, but I've never seen a full blown rant out of him. He's a drive-by guy, unless there's some decorated history of his that I'm too n00b-y to remember.

Rudy lost the toss
08-03-2011, 07:25 PM
Roasters:

Phobia
Rain Man
'Hamas' Jenkins
Iowanian
Demonpenz

All would be excellent and funny.

No doubt... stacked.

Deberg_1990
08-03-2011, 07:26 PM
DaneMcCloud

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 07:27 PM
Well let's see if we can recruit a big guy.

Count Zarth
08-03-2011, 07:27 PM
DaneMcCloud

I don't think that ******* ***** ****** **** is ever coming back.

Rudy lost the toss
08-03-2011, 07:28 PM
others to consider

DJ's left nut
Frazod
Saul Good
DaneMcCloud's comeback tour
kstater

Direckshun
08-03-2011, 07:29 PM
Well let's see if we can recruit a big guy.

I think Rain Man would be game. Hell he'd probably emcee it.

Direckshun
08-03-2011, 07:29 PM
Frazod. There's a good pick.

pr_capone
08-03-2011, 07:39 PM
milkman

Rudy lost the toss
08-03-2011, 07:45 PM
Pants

SNR
08-03-2011, 07:49 PM
Who are we roasting?

milkman
08-03-2011, 07:51 PM
Who are we roasting?

Somebody.

Can't you read?

Direckshun
08-03-2011, 07:51 PM
I vote DaFace. I want to tear that guy a new hole to shit out of.

Preferably somewhere close to his shoulder so he can never go shirtless or in a tank top in public ever again.

Guru
08-03-2011, 07:56 PM
Seems like all the roasters would make excellent roastees as well.

Dr. Facebook Fever
08-03-2011, 07:57 PM
I thought you left Joey. There you go lying to me again. After all we've been through.

Deberg_1990
08-03-2011, 08:00 PM
Midnight Vulture or MrBlond

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:00 PM
Maybe I should've explained this better in the op. I wasn't sure if this was going to be taken seriously after my leaving.

I need Volunteers(not suggestions for roasters or roastees). Anybody who wants to roast post in this thread. I'll edit the header soon. Once all the roaster positions are settled we'll figure out who we're roasting via pm and or chat. I want this to be a surprise to the roastee.

Gonzo
08-03-2011, 08:00 PM
I'm waaaay to nice for this type of thing, cocksmokers.
Posted via Mobile Device

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:01 PM
If there's somebody you'd like to see roast in this, send them a smoke and tell them to get in here.

DaFace
08-03-2011, 08:06 PM
I vote DaFace. I want to tear that guy a new hole to shit out of.

Preferably somewhere close to his shoulder so he can never go shirtless or in a tank top in public ever again.

ROFL...I love you too, man. Though for the record, I'm not the type to walk around without a shirt on in public. And I don't do tank tops either.

As for Rain Man, he'd make a good emcee, but I have my doubts he'd be fond of being a roaster. He's damn funny, but rarely malevolent.

Rudy lost the toss
08-03-2011, 08:07 PM
Midnight Vulture or MrBlond

And Logical!



BabyLee
SNR


Can they roast Royr17 please?

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:08 PM
ROFL...I love you too, man. Though for the record, I'm not the type to walk around without a shirt on in public. And I don't do tank tops either.

As for Rain Man, he'd make a good emcee, but I have my doubts he'd be fond of being a roaster. He's damn funny, but rarely malevolent.

He would be the perfect Host and the job is his if he wants it.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:10 PM
Hey, we could roast DaFace's Penis.

DaFace
08-03-2011, 08:15 PM
Hey, we could roast DaFace's Penis.

He's not much of a fan of fire, TYVM.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:16 PM
LMAO

Guru
08-03-2011, 08:23 PM
Hey, we could roast DaFace's Penis.Wait, his or that phallic looking thing he ate before the playoff game?

DaFace
08-03-2011, 08:36 PM
Wait, his or that phallic looking thing he ate before the playoff game?

IT'S GLORIOUS!

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/520/f68ee53.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/851/f68ee53.jpg/)

Count Zarth
08-03-2011, 08:40 PM
Direckshun needs to be roasted hard.

Bacon Cheeseburger
08-03-2011, 08:41 PM
IT'S GLORIOUS!

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/520/f68ee53.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/851/f68ee53.jpg/)
I would totally eat that penis. :drool:

Guru
08-03-2011, 08:43 PM
I would totally eat that penis. :drool:
Thats going in my sig.

Demonpenz
08-03-2011, 08:45 PM
Iowainan just hurts peoples bones. Like you really have to question if you want to go on with life when he gets you.

Bacon Cheeseburger
08-03-2011, 08:46 PM
Thats going in my sig.
Eh, I won't see it. I've had sigs shut off since 2007.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:46 PM
Iowainan just hurts peoples bones. Like you really have to question if you want to go on with life when he gets you.

Does that mean you're a roaster? You've been nominated.

Reerun_KC
08-03-2011, 08:48 PM
I would totally eat that penis. :drool:

For some reason I dont feel that this would be your first penis... Just getting GoChiefs type of vibe here.


:hmmm:

Demonpenz
08-03-2011, 08:48 PM
I nominate Red 5

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:51 PM
I take that meaning Demon is in.

Reerun_KC
08-03-2011, 08:51 PM
I nominate Red 5

Easy now, the dude cranks one out to anyone that will pay an ounce of attention to him...

Lets not make it worse...

DA_T_84
08-03-2011, 08:54 PM
Son, I am excite.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 08:58 PM
40+ posts and one volunteer. Love CP.

Count Zarth
08-03-2011, 08:58 PM
I nominate Red 5

No, I would be a horrible roaster.

Count Zarth
08-03-2011, 08:59 PM
My roasts would be so bad that I would end up roasting myself.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 09:00 PM
That's fair, you're in gc.

Guru
08-03-2011, 09:01 PM
Eh, I won't see it. I've had sigs shut off since 2007.

so do I. But others don't. :p

Count Zarth
08-03-2011, 09:02 PM
That's fair, you're in gc.

:facepalm:

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 09:02 PM
I turned sigs back on real fast to see it. Nice one, Gu.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 09:02 PM
:facepalm:

Shit happens. Make it good.

Thig Lyfe
08-03-2011, 09:04 PM
Every thread here is a roast.

stevieray
08-03-2011, 09:04 PM
I can roast.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 09:06 PM
Stevie ray is in and there he goes as a possible roastee.

Welcome aboard!

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 09:58 PM
This is gonna be hot.

SNR
08-03-2011, 10:15 PM
I'll roast if you still need volunteers

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 10:18 PM
we could use about five more volunteers.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:18 PM
No, I would be a horrible roaster.

Fucking Knight Rider with a life vest got his own roast so I'm sure you'll get your 5 minutes...

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:25 PM
****ing Knight Rider with a life vest got his own roast so I'm sure you'll get your 5 minutes...

Roast Rauch, he's a douchebag and it has a nice ring to it.

Tribal Warfare
08-03-2011, 10:26 PM
65 posts and no mention of Mecca ?

You guys are slipping

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:29 PM
Roast Rauch, he's a douchebag and it has a nice ring to it.

Which reminds me, you better pick somebody who doesn't cry every time someone tosses a brick.

I think they should agree to it.







I'd love to be on deck for a Brock roast...:evil:

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:30 PM
Roast Rauch, he's a douchebag and it has a nice ring to it.

Rausch could have been the breath of god had he only switched the a with the u and dropped the s,instead he is just a German side dish being served with saurkraut reeking of beer.

luv
08-03-2011, 10:31 PM
I'd sign up to be a roaster, but I'm far too sweet for that.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:33 PM
Rauch could have been the breath of god had he only switched the a with the u instead he is just a German side dish being served with saurkraut reeking of beer.

Your spelling still sucks.


Ginger...

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 10:33 PM
Aw, c'mon luv. You could be our lisa lampenelli.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:34 PM
Aw, c'mon luv. You could be our lisa lampenelli.

ROFL


She would never, EVER, leg go and be as brutal as that bidge...

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:34 PM
Your spelling still sucks.


Ginger...

Yea, bottle of wine helps. Switched it and caught it right after I posted it. Is it warm in here or is it me?

Phobia
08-03-2011, 10:34 PM
Hit me up during the winter. I'm far too busy right now.

Rudy lost the toss
08-03-2011, 10:35 PM
People I'd like to see roasted:

The Roys (together)
luv
Clay
Frankie if he hadn't already been roasted
Simply Red
|Zach|
Reaper
Mohillbilly
Buck
Flopnuts
Chiefs4me

luv
08-03-2011, 10:36 PM
ROFL


She would never, EVER, leg go and be as brutal as that bidge...

Depends on who I'm roasting.

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:36 PM
Hit me up during the winter. I'm far too busy right now.

Come on Phil, drop the bag of cheeto's and turn off the porn.

luv
08-03-2011, 10:38 PM
People I'd like to see roasted:

The Roys (together)
luv
Clay
Frankie if he hadn't already been roasted
Simply Red
|Zach|
Reaper
Mohillbilly
Buck
Flopnuts
Chiefs4me

I'm a fat, slutty, attention whore. I've been roasted on here several times before, so I already know what everyone would say. I would like to see Floppy get it. Trying to think of anything bad someone could say about him, though.

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:38 PM
People I'd like to see roasted:

The Roys (together)
luv
Clay
Frankie if he hadn't already been roasted
Simply Red
|Zach|
Reaper
Mohillbilly
Buck
Flopnuts
Chiefs4me

frankie is a living roast with feet, it's just not fair. Where is Sofistme when you need her?

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:39 PM
I'm a fat, slutty, whore. I've been roasted on here several times before, so I already know what everyone would say. I would like to see Floppy get it. Trying to think of anything bad someone could say about him, though.

Wow

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 10:40 PM
Hit me up during the winter. I'm far too busy right now.

If this things a success, you're definitely a celeb we wanna bring in a future roasting.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:41 PM
Yea, bottle of wine helps. Switched it and caught it right after I posted it. Is it warm in here or is it me?

I think it's a cool idea.

I'm game for offense or defense.

Fair is fair.

I think us grey-beards would take it a lot better. The big butt-hurt seems to come from the people who haven't been here as long and haven't exchanged as many f-you's over the years...

luv
08-03-2011, 10:42 PM
I think it's a cool idea.

I'm game for offense or defense.

Fair is fair.

I think us grey-beards would take it a lot better. The big butt-hurt seems to come from the people who haven't been here as long and haven't exchanged as many f-you's over the years...

I'll roast you if you roast me. ;)

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 10:43 PM
Sounds like we have more roasters? Or did I miss a sex joke because I'm a kid again?

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:44 PM
If this things a success, you're definitely a celeb we wanna bring in a future roasting.

He's kind of a big deal around here.

If you could work that out with him that'd be HUGE...

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:44 PM
I think it's a cool idea.

I'm game for offense or defense.

Fair is fair.

I think us grey-beards would take it a lot better. The big butt-hurt seems to come from the people who haven't been here as long and haven't exchanged as many f-you's over the years...

True dat.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 10:45 PM
luv, if you sign up as a roaster, we'll squash the nachos.

luv
08-03-2011, 10:45 PM
Sounds like we have more roasters? Or did I miss a sex joke because I'm a kid again?

I'm just being lame.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:45 PM
I'll roast you if you roast me. ;)

Seems fair enough...

Rudy lost the toss
08-03-2011, 10:46 PM
roasted ultra peanuts

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:46 PM
I'll roast you if you roast me. ;)

I want to roll you in flour and find the wet spot.

luv
08-03-2011, 10:46 PM
luv, if you sign up as a roaster, we'll squash the nachos.

Okay. Although, I'm telling you mine will be tame compared to the creativity of others.

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:47 PM
roasted ultra peanuts

You mean ultra-nutjob? He's just a shell of his former self.

luv
08-03-2011, 10:47 PM
I want to roll you in flour and find the wet spot.

You'd have to be able to make me create a wet spot first.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 10:48 PM
Okay. Although, I'm telling you mine will be tame compared to the creativity of others.

I understand. I don't even want to be in this, just had the idea. I can think of handfulls of CPers funnier than I am.

Should be a fun thing. Now let's see if Rainman is willing to host.

|Zach|
08-03-2011, 10:48 PM
Haha, I feel like I am roasted in the dumbass conversations I get myself into anyway.

Did CP do this before? I feel like I remember something like this.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 10:49 PM
Sounds like we have more roasters? Or did I miss a sex joke because I'm a kid again?

I don't know...

http://www.wizardacademy.org/prodimages/InteractiveTall.jpg

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:49 PM
You'd have to be able to make me create a wet spot first.

Menopause already? It's not easy being a big old bird.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 10:50 PM
Haha, I feel like I am roasted in the dumbass conversations I get myself into anyway.

Did CP do this before? I feel like I remember something like this.

I figured this was a repost.

Rudy lost the toss
08-03-2011, 10:50 PM
You mean ultra-nutjob? He's just a shell of his former self.

I just hope she'd posts a vagina pic at the end of her roast

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 10:52 PM
Haha, I feel like I am roasted in the dumbass conversations I get myself into anyway.

Did CP do this before? I feel like I remember something like this.

Why do Zach's lover prefer ribbed condoms?

So they get traction in the mud.

|Zach|
08-03-2011, 10:57 PM
Why do Zach's lover prefer ribbed condoms?

So they get traction in the mud.

ba doo bop ching!

Chocolate Hog
08-03-2011, 11:00 PM
Wickedson. Oh wait that was done in his thread a few weeks back.

Phobia
08-03-2011, 11:03 PM
Frankly though, I think we pretty much roast one another every day on here. Do we really need to make it ****Official****?

|Zach|
08-03-2011, 11:04 PM
Frankly though, I think we pretty much roast one another every day on here. Do we really need to make it ****Official****?

Sort of my thought. We are naturally brutal to eachother.

If I remember correctly we tried this before and it was fun for a while and then it got really lame and felt forced.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 11:04 PM
Frankly though, I think we pretty much roast one another every day on here. Do we really need to make it ****Official****?

Not really.

That's why most of them tend to be associated with charities...

BIG_DADDY
08-03-2011, 11:08 PM
ba doo bop ching!

Times like this make me really miss baby seal.

Lumpy
08-03-2011, 11:10 PM
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You can't threaten to leave this place one day, then come back a few days later and start a fucking roast thread! WTF is wrong w/ you?! Oh, and there's no Betty White signed up on CP! How in the hell can you have a roast w/o Betty? So, seriously... WTF?!

Furthermore, when you "left", I slipped on all the snail-trails that were left in your "leaving forever" thread and I twisted my damn ankle. Thanks a lot, you jerk! Next time you want to leave "forever", leave a fucking towel behind!

Rausch
08-03-2011, 11:12 PM
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You can't threaten to leave this place one day, then come back a few days later and start a ****ing roast thread! WTF is wrong w/ you?! Oh, and there's no Betty White signed up on CP! How in the hell can you have a roast w/o Betty? So, seriously... WTF?!

Furthermore, when you "left", I slipped on all the snail-trails that were left in your "leaving forever" thread and I twisted my damn ankle. Thanks a lot, you jerk! Next time you want to leave "forever", leave a ****ing towel behind!

Wow.

So, there's that as well...

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 11:13 PM
Damn, lumpy's right.

Lumpy
08-03-2011, 11:16 PM
Damn, lumpy's right.

Damn skippy!

Oh, and, good to have you back, Joey! :thumb:

Rausch
08-03-2011, 11:16 PM
Good times...

Rain Man
08-03-2011, 11:20 PM
He would be the perfect Host and the job is his if he wants it.

So what's my job here?

I'm out of town at the moment but could probably step in. I'm not sure if I'm more of a Billy Crystal type or a Drew Carey type of host.

SDChiefs
08-03-2011, 11:28 PM
Im just gonna say, im glad you're back. No homo. Thread is perfect idea.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 11:29 PM
I suppose the host would make the thread, kick off the stand-up shit, and pass it on like a marijuana cigarette.

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 11:30 PM
Im just gonna say, im glad you're back. No homo. Thread is perfect idea.

Yeah but if it's already been done, I think I might be screwed. I'm on the repost police, I took an oath.

Rain Man
08-03-2011, 11:31 PM
I suppose the host would make the thread, kick off the stand-up shit, and pass it on like a marijuana cigarette.

Okay, but it may take me a few days, and I need a roster of roaster and roastee. I need a roaster roster and a roastee roster.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 11:31 PM
So what's my job here?

I'm out of town at the moment but could probably step in. I'm not sure if I'm more of a Billy Crystal type or a Drew Carey type of host.

I'm guessing the Billy Crystal type.

But you'll always have that scene in the cafe...

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 11:32 PM
Okay, but it may take me a few days, and I need a lineup of roaster and roastee.

Will do. If we get a few more roasters tonight or tomorrow I'll cut it off and we'll find our roastee.

Rausch
08-03-2011, 11:39 PM
Yeah but if it's already been done, I think I might be screwed. I'm on the repost police, I took an oath.

So you start a thread about roasting people and then throw a hammy?

Really?

KurtCobain
08-03-2011, 11:41 PM
So you start a thread about roasting people and then throw a hammy?

Really?

No.

Thig Lyfe
08-03-2011, 11:47 PM
"I wouldn't fuck KurtCobain's mom with Bea Arthur's dick!"

NAILED IT

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 12:51 AM
Direckshun needs to be roasted hard.

It better not be late at night.

That's where I eat, motherfucker.

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 12:52 AM
God, luv would be a PHENOMENAL roastee. I change my vote.

I vote luv if we're roasting out of love.

I vote DaFace if we're looking to create a black scar on the earth. I will pound his asshole like a meat tenderizer. I will run his ass through a fine wired screen. His innards would look like Play-Doh spagetti, except they'd look a lot fucking tastier because I'd be satisfied in the knowledge that I just disemboweled the biggest asshole-fucking killjoy to have graced the red font screen names of Chiefs Planet. May his shits be rocky and mis-shapen, and his asshole forever scarred.

Lumpy
08-04-2011, 12:59 AM
God, luv would be a PHENOMENAL roastee. I change my vote.

But she's the token female roaster. If she gets roasted, who will take her place? It sure as hell won't be me! I haven't been on CP that long and I don't know half of you pricks. :p

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 01:02 AM
But she's the token female roaster. If she gets roasted, who will take her place? It sure as hell won't be me! I haven't been on CP that long and I don't know half of you pricks. :p

I don't give a shit. She's like the sweetest person ever, has really thick skin, and provides so much golden material we might as well slowly rotate her over the fire, the flames licking her porcelain skin like a golden taste tester.

Oh, god.

Now I'm getting all insult-slam aroused. I've got a flame boner.

Lumpy
08-04-2011, 01:09 AM
I don't give a shit. She's like the sweetest person ever, has really thick skin, and provides so much golden material we might as well slowly rotate her over the fire, the flames licking her porcelain skin like a golden taste tester.

Oh, god.

Now I'm getting all insult-slam aroused. I've got a flame boner.

Well... ok then. LMAO

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 01:10 AM
Well... ok then. LMAO

No, stay right there.

*grunting*

I need you to watch, Lumpy.

Please, watch.

KurtCobain
08-04-2011, 01:11 AM
I'm watching.

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 01:13 AM
I'm watching.

I just flamed all over the place.

Dickmunch.

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 01:15 AM
Petezg23 would be a phenomenal roastee, too. LMAO

He might not handle it well, but that just makes me love him more.

Lumpy
08-04-2011, 01:15 AM
I think I just got hit in the face by stray flame!

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 01:17 AM
I think I just got hit in the face by stray flame!

LMAO

<iframe width="560" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/TpDFCpOjtB8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

LVNHACK
08-04-2011, 05:49 AM
I think it's a cool idea.

I'm game for offense or defense.

Fair is fair.

I think us grey-beards would take it a lot better. The big butt-hurt seems to come from the people who haven't been here as long and haven't exchanged as many f-you's over the years...


Bro...you're calling yourself a grey-beard...?....wtf...hankn ain't easy is it ?...it's a hard life for a hard type of person, it'll change you.....Then you become a contractor and things REALLY get fun

DaKCMan AP
08-04-2011, 05:53 AM
Sept. 17

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-YzqHLrfVGPI/TZ0VBioBIyI/AAAAAAAAKE4/vHbZHOJYHAE/s400/Charlie+Sheen.jpg

luv
08-04-2011, 07:02 AM
I don't give a shit. She's like the sweetest person ever, has really thick skin, and provides so much golden material we might as well slowly rotate her over the fire, the flames licking her porcelain skin like a golden taste tester.

Oh, god.

Now I'm getting all insult-slam aroused. I've got a flame boner.

I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. :deevee:

burt
08-04-2011, 07:36 AM
I'll roast you if you roast me. ;)

Can I run the video camera?

Sofa King
08-04-2011, 07:41 AM
Roasters:

Phobia
Rain Man
'Hamas' Jenkins
Iowanian
Demonpenz

All would be excellent and funny.

This list is damn good.

I second the nomination of this whole list.

luv
08-04-2011, 07:44 AM
Can I run the video camera?

That anxious to see Rausch in action, huh? NTTAWWT

burt
08-04-2011, 07:49 AM
hhhhmmmmm, seems to me that there is a guy in almost all the porn I watch...... damn, I must be gay..... NTTAWWT............ROFL

Guru
08-04-2011, 08:35 AM
Depends on who I'm roasting.

Mooo or Redrum

Guru
08-04-2011, 08:40 AM
But she's the token female roaster. If she gets roasted, who will take her place? It sure as hell won't be me! I haven't been on CP that long and I don't know half of you pricks. :p

RednFiesty dumbass:thumb:

luv
08-04-2011, 09:28 AM
Mooo or Redrum

Roasting has to have a positive twist. I don't think I could do that with either of those.

Guru
08-04-2011, 09:31 AM
Roasting has to have a positive twist. I don't think I could do that with either of those.

I just figured those two could really bring out the MEAN in you. :thumb:

Pestilence
08-04-2011, 09:33 AM
I'm going to assume that Hamas is just a little busy right now.

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:06 AM
Mooo is always try to take advantage of the system. I remember the DMV telling him that having Luv attached to his waist is not a handicap.

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:07 AM
If I wanted advice about Life I would ask Phobia, if I want to know what it's like to fuck Octomom I would ask Hamas.

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:11 AM
I once saw Guru cut his hand washing a paper plate.

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:13 AM
Phobia's heads so big kids point Wii-motes at him to try to select character.

KurtCobain
08-04-2011, 11:14 AM
Phobia's heads so big kids point Wii-motes at him to try to select character.

ROFL

OnTheWarpath58
08-04-2011, 11:22 AM
Phobia's heads so big kids point Wii-motes at him to try to select character.

LMAO

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:24 AM
I went over |Zach|'s and he was watching Bend it Like Beckham on Laserdisk.

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:27 AM
I wouldn't say Demonpenz and Reaper were gay for eachother, but on farmville Demon bought reaper 4 strawberry gerbils

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:28 AM
I once saw Midnight Vulture try to take the decals off his motorcycle. I was like Dude "Power Wheels" is painted on there!

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 11:29 AM
There is a big wet spot on Demonpenz Zeneth TV where Demon has tried over and over to Suck Demtri Martins dick

vailpass
08-04-2011, 11:29 AM
How are you going to be able to tell a roast thread from 3/4 of the other threads here?

gblowfish
08-04-2011, 11:51 AM
Are you planning on roasting Mr. Fax? If not, he would be one of my first choices on the roaster list.

Frazod, Rausch and Iowanian would be like adding the CP equivalent of Gilbert Gottfried, Jeff Ross and Don Rickles.

Demonpenz
08-04-2011, 12:15 PM
For The Ace and Gary movie, they used Rain mans Apprciot BMW, but later the scenes with it were cut when test audiences thought the car was "too gay"

Sofa King
08-04-2011, 03:06 PM
For The Ace and Gary movie, they used Rain mans Apprciot BMW, but later the scenes with it were cut when test audiences thought the car was "too gay"

LMAO

Direckshun
08-04-2011, 03:08 PM
Are you planning on roasting Mr. Fax? If not, he would be one of my first choices on the roaster list.

Frazod, Rausch and Iowanian would be like adding the CP equivalent of Gilbert Gottfried, Jeff Ross and Don Rickles.

I don't think you can roast FAX.

Guy kinda floats above the grime here at CP. It'd be like firing pistols at an angel.

Lzen
08-04-2011, 03:24 PM
I once saw Midnight Vulture try to take the decals off his motorcycle. I was like Dude "Power Wheels" is painted on there!

:LOL:

KurtCobain
08-14-2011, 04:49 PM
Alright, the roastee is being decided tonight. If any other Roasters want in, now is the time. Hurry up. The choice is yours don't be late.

Dr. Facebook Fever
08-14-2011, 05:03 PM
Alright, the roastee is being decided tonight. If any other Roasters want in, now is the time. Hurry up. The choice is yours don't be late.

I'm not good enough with the creatively clever shitting on to roast anyone... I'll just point and laugh from the peanut gallery.

GloryDayz
10-30-2011, 04:36 PM
IT'S GLORIOUS!

http://img851.imageshack.us/img851/520/f68ee53.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/851/f68ee53.jpg/)

That was an awesome tailgate...

ThatRaceCardGuy
10-30-2011, 04:44 PM
How about you roast your balls noob..:thumb:..oh wait, you would probably get high off that too...ROFLROFL



:LOL::LOL::whip:

Hog Farmer
10-30-2011, 05:59 PM
Roast ME MOTHER FUCKERS !

LiveSteam
10-30-2011, 06:25 PM
Roast ME MOTHER FUCKERS !

http://abrooklynlife.com/photos/uncategorized/pigroast.jpg

Now shut it :evil: