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NewChief
08-25-2011, 07:12 AM
This one is for your Patt:

http://www.salon.com/news/politics/dick_cheney/index.html?story=/politics/war_room/2011/08/25/cheney_resignation_letter
Former Vice President Dick Cheney reveals in his new memoir that in March of 2001, he wrote a secret letter of resignation, to be used in the event that he was unable to fulfill his duties. He wrote the letter, he tells NBC, because "there is no mechanism for getting rid of a vice president who can’t function," and Cheney had a history of heart attacks. He locked the letter in a safe, and told only the president and one trusted aide about its existence. No one has ever seen the letter -- until now.

Salon.com's War Room Secret Vice Presidential Correspondence Recovery Team tracked down the letter by following an elaborate series of clues Cheney placed around Washington, D.C. We reveal the contents of Cheney's secret letter of resignation below:

The Office of the Vice President
March 15, 2001

Dear Mr. President:

If you're reading this, it means one of the following things has happened:

I've had a debilitating heart attack and am unable to function.
I'm on the lam, likely somewhere in South America, because they finally found out about the incident in 1973.
I became irradiated at a secret energy task force meeting and have grown to 10 times my original size, losing, in the process, my very humanity.
I went to Mexico with Lynne and "pulled a William S. Burroughs."
I'm locked in my man-size safe.
And so I voluntarily and of my own accord hereby tender my resignation from the Office of the Vice President of the United States, effective immediately ... on the following conditions:

Check the man-size safe.
Don't you dare replace me with that sonuvabitch Hagel.
In fact, just replace me with David Addington.
There's nothing I regret more than leaving you, Mr. President, without the sage counsel of your trusted vice president, besides the 1973 thing, but America must move forward in what I am assuming is a time of great national grief at my untimely departure from office. I know you'll do fine in my absence, but there are some things you should know.

The key to the Resolute Desk's top-right drawer is in the kitchen behind Barney's food. Torture is legal. If America is attacked by terrorists, Saddam Hussein is responsible. Pat Leahy can go fuck himself. Colin Powell is wrong about whatever he just advised you to do. So is Condi, probably. And Ashcroft, unless he was talking about porn or something. There's nothing the American government can do that the private sector -- specifically the Halliburton portion of the private sector -- can't do better and more efficiently. If you really really want to wiretap someone you probably don't need a warrant. If you ever get stuck writing a state of the union, just say something about a manned mission to Mars. Make sure the Justice Department is only hiring and retaining good conservative U.S. attorneys. Don't try to use the coffee machine in the Cabinet Room. It doesn't work right and also you're the president, you shouldn't be making your own coffee.

I think that about sums up all the possible advice I would've given you had I remained capable of fulfilling my duties for the entirety of your time in office. (Did I mention that torture is legal?)

One last, personal note: There's no doubt in my mind that you'll be remembered as one of the best, most effective presidents America's ever known, but just in case it looks like there is some doubt of that, try to make sure everything is as fucked up as possible on your way out of office. The American people, in their infinite wisdom, will pretty much forget it was your fault within six months of the next poor bastard taking over.

Sincerely,

Richard Cheney

P.S. If you find the time, have someone shoot Harry Whittington in the face. He knows what he did.

mlyonsd
08-25-2011, 07:17 AM
Ok, that was funny.

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 07:51 AM
The sad part is there will be Liberal Loons everywhere believing all of this. :rolleyes:

Amnorix
08-25-2011, 08:36 AM
The sad part is there will be Liberal Loons everywhere believing all of this. :rolleyes:


Lighten up Francis.

Mr. Flopnuts
08-25-2011, 08:58 AM
The sad part is there will be Liberal Loons everywhere believing all of this. :rolleyes:

ROFL Was this post before or after you believing that National Enquirer story about Obama. I'll give some of you guys credit. At least you're honest about your partisan bullshit.

Radar Chief
08-25-2011, 09:23 AM
That’s pretty good. I like the P.S., “He knows what he did.” ROFL

patteeu
08-25-2011, 10:40 AM
LMAO

I wouldn't be surprised if this spoof letter was written by Cheney himself because, like so many other things about him, he's got a top notch sense of humor.

FishingRod
08-25-2011, 10:51 AM
ok that was funny

ChiTown
08-25-2011, 03:44 PM
That letter had me right up to the point where he signed his name "Richard Cheney". Everyone knows he goes by Dick. What a load!..................

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 04:30 PM
ROFL Was this post before or after you believing that National Enquirer story about Obama. I'll give some of you guys credit. At least you're honest about your partisan bullshit.

What ?

Please explain yourself in detail.

Brock
08-25-2011, 04:36 PM
The sad part is there will be Liberal Loons everywhere believing all of this. :rolleyes:

Yeah, it's almost as retarded as people who bought into "OBAMA BORN IN KENYA OMGZ". You, in other words.

Mr. Flopnuts
08-25-2011, 04:55 PM
What ?

Please explain yourself in detail.

It was pretty self explanatory, Roy. Spin it however makes you feel better.

NewChief
08-25-2011, 07:08 PM
Yeah, it's almost as retarded as people who bought into "OBAMA BORN IN KENYA OMGZ". You, in other words.

Succinct and spot on as usual.

Roy"Credulous"75.

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 07:28 PM
Yeah, it's almost as retarded as people who bought into "OBAMA BORN IN KENYA OMGZ". You, in other words.

I never ever said said he was not born in the USA, I believed he was. I did say many times that there were things that didn't add up, you can find that on here. You can also find it many times where I said I felt that he was an American citizen, but why was he with holding info when he could end all conversations about the topic.

So, please prove yourself right, where I said I believed that he was born outside the USA.


But it was a nice try.

Thanks for playing a long.

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 07:29 PM
Succinct and spot on as usual.

Roy"Credulous"75.

You are welcome to prove that point as well.

NewChief
08-25-2011, 07:33 PM
You are welcome to prove that point as well.

Why bother? Your DC reputation speaks for itself. There's a reason a ton of people found your post hilariously ironic.

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 07:34 PM
It was pretty self explanatory, Roy. Spin it however makes you feel better.

Spin what?

I asked you to explain yourself.

Let me make it even clearer, what NE story you want to pick?

# 1. I do not read the National Examiner.
# 2. The N.E. over the years, and for the most part is nothing but gossip, so why bother with it. It serves not actual purpose when it comes to media.

So again, please explain yourself, if you can!

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 07:37 PM
Why bother? Your DC reputation speaks for itself. There's a reason a ton of people found your post hilariously ironic.

You can't prove the comment Brock made.

BTW, a ton of people ? A couple of guys spew off about 1 comment and it is a ton ?

My comment to Nlopfuts was valid. His wide open comment about some article of N.E. ( which I haven't a clue to which one since so many are loony ) attributed nothing to my post. If you think there is not some liberal loon somewhere that gave that article a serious ounce of thought, you are mistaken.People fall for silly crap everyday.

Second part is, Why do I really care what other people think about my opinions or views about politics. Winning an argument in politics or religion is next to impossible, it causes more ruckus than substance.

Mr. Flopnuts
08-25-2011, 07:43 PM
Spin what?

I asked you to explain yourself.

Let me make it even clearer, what NE story you want to pick?

# 1. I do not read the National Examiner.
# 2. The N.E. over the years, and for the most part is nothing but gossip, so why bother with it. It serves not actual purpose when it comes to media.

So again, please explain yourself, if you can!

ROFL

Mr. Flopnuts
08-25-2011, 07:44 PM
Why do I really care what other people think about my opinions or views about politics.

Your signature? Spin it. Spin it hard!

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 07:52 PM
ROFL

I didn't think you could answer it or even explain yourself.

Figures.

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 07:54 PM
Your signature? Spin it. Spin it hard!

Sweet, whatever it takes for Liberal Loons to stop breeding the Liberal spin.

Jaric
08-25-2011, 08:57 PM
So wait, you guys are saying this isn't real?

ROYC75
08-25-2011, 09:23 PM
So wait, you guys are saying this isn't real?

:LOL: