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View Full Version : Chiefs Chiefs - Least attractive NFL team


TrebMaxx
09-08-2011, 10:27 AM
Don't really know what to make of this.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31751_162-20103254-10391697.html?tag=cbsnewsSectionContent.12

By any statistical measure, the Buffalo Bill are coming off an ugly 2010 season, going 4-12 and finishing last in the AFC East.

But by college researchers' calculations, the Bills are far from ugly - in fact they are the most attractive team in the NFL.

That's right. The Bills have been deemed the handsomest squad in the league, according to a study commissioned by the Wall Street Journal.

The newspaper asked researchers at Ursinus College in Pennsylvania to analyze the facial structure of 320 NFL starters - five players on offense and five on defense. The owner and head coach were also put under the microscope since they were considered by the newspaper to be "two of the most-photographed personalities on any team."

WSJ: The NFL's Best-Looking Team

A computer program sized up the photographs in terms of facial symmetry, which is widely viewed by researchers as a barometer for attractiveness. After scanning the images, the Bills were rated the "hottest" team, while the Kansas City Chiefs were deemed the least attractive.

As the Journal notes, the Bills were awful last year and the Chiefs were a playoff team. So being tall, dark and handsome in real life may actually mean you are overmatched, underwhelming and ugly on the gridiron. As the newspaper notes: "Teams with particularly attractive players might be guilty of favoring people who are more presentable than talented. Jennifer VanGilder, a professor of business economics at Ursinus who oversaw the research, said the lure of hiring pretty faces is unconscious. 'People are drawn to more symmetrical objects.'"

Amazingly, quarterbacks did not rate as the most attractive in the study. That distinction actually went to kickers. So step aside Tom Brady, Mark Sanchez and Drew Brees. The ladies actually prefer Stephen Gostkowski, Nick Folk and Garrett Hartley.

Read more: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-31751_162-20103254-10391697.html#ixzz1XNJbYNT3

Frazod
09-08-2011, 10:29 AM
LMAO Well, they match up well with our cheerleaders.

Pestilence
09-08-2011, 10:31 AM
LMAO Well, they match up well with our cheerleaders.

Are we sure they didn't see our cheerleaders and just assume that they were the players?

Detoxing
09-08-2011, 10:33 AM
Yeah, Jamaal Charles is ugly.

Frazod
09-08-2011, 10:33 AM
Are we sure they didn't see our cheerleaders and just assume that they were the players?

You know, I should actually check the official site before I start dogging on them. Perhaps they've improved.

EDIT: Nope.

DMAC
09-08-2011, 10:34 AM
Are we sure they didn't see our cheerleaders and just assume that they were the players?

Pretty sure Shawn Barber holds a place on the squad.

http://www.haacsports.com/images/shawn_barber.jpg

loochy
09-08-2011, 10:34 AM
super gay

<iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/N1eDdwQ_7rM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

booyaf2
09-08-2011, 10:34 AM
Tamba Hali isn't real attractive either.

listopencil
09-08-2011, 10:35 AM
<iframe src="http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/video_embed/?id=21311" frameborder="no" height="270" scrolling="no" width="480"></iframe>
Ben Roethlisberger Close To Completing Offseason Without Committing Sex Crime (http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/-offseason-w,21311/)

alpha_omega
09-08-2011, 10:35 AM
Sounds like CBS News should stick to news.

Detoxing
09-08-2011, 10:36 AM
Tamba Hali isn't real attractive either.

Neither is Bowe. My wife always makes fun of his teeth

Rooster
09-08-2011, 10:36 AM
Well Shit!! See what happens when Croyle leaves. KC gets ugly.

SNR
09-08-2011, 10:38 AM
Where's luv? She's bound to have a thing or two to say about Ryan Succop

King_Chief_Fan
09-08-2011, 10:39 AM
If they can't win the beauty contest, maybe they can win a football game or two.

DMAC
09-08-2011, 10:41 AM
Ugly Will

SNR
09-08-2011, 10:42 AM
By the way, here's Ryan Fitzpatrick

http://www.steelersdepot.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/ryan_fitzpatrick_big_head.gif

Duhrpa duhr dawwwww coach gay sez I look guhd wit da ladies

Cave Johnson
09-08-2011, 10:43 AM
Amazingly, quarterbacks did not rate as the most attractive in the study. That distinction actually went to kickers. So step aside Tom Brady, Mark Sanchez and Drew Brees. The ladies actually prefer Stephen Gostkowski, Nick Folk and Garrett Hartley.

In the abstract, sure. But factor in vast differences in charisma and income, and it's no contest who pulls hotter tail.

Omaha
09-08-2011, 10:45 AM
Tamba Hali isn't real attractive either.

He would not do well in the "Would You?" thread.

DMAC
09-08-2011, 10:45 AM
Duhrpa duhr dawwwww coach gay sez I look guhd wit da ladies

Didn't he go to Harvard?

Count Alex's Wins
09-08-2011, 10:46 AM
Cassel is dreamy:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6A8j2EQmANk/TJA9OAY0kAI/AAAAAAAAPiw/-9XzrPgjCoA/s1600/Matt+Cassel+Biography++Photos+2.jpg

loochy
09-08-2011, 10:47 AM
Neither is Bowe. My wife always makes fun of his teeth teef

FYP

Mr. Arrowhead
09-08-2011, 10:47 AM
I wonder if the females miss Johnny Morton LOL

Frazod
09-08-2011, 10:47 AM
He would not do well in the "Would You?" thread.

None of them would do well in yours, since they all weigh more than 70 pounds.

</post>
09-08-2011, 10:48 AM
Lowest payroll = least attractive?

loochy
09-08-2011, 10:48 AM
It's too bad that we don't have Grbac on our team anymore. We could have won this contest with him alone!

http://jeffpearlman.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/19981116-750-941.jpg

DMAC
09-08-2011, 10:52 AM
It's too bad that we don't have Grbac on our team anymore. We could have won this contest with him alone!

http://jeffpearlman.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/19981116-750-941.jpg

One of the funniest Chiefs stories ever.

loochy
09-08-2011, 10:55 AM
One of the funniest Chiefs stories ever.

I know! I can't help but post that picture/article as often as I can because it is so funny and ridiculous.

Count Alex's Wins
09-08-2011, 10:59 AM
the funniest part is that it was a mixup...they were supposed to do it on rich gannon

ReynardMuldrake
09-08-2011, 11:06 AM
the funniest part is that it was a mixup...they were supposed to do it on rich gannon

I would like to hear that story. So they booked a photoshoot with the wrong quarterback? Did they not realize the team had more than one?

KC-TBB
09-08-2011, 11:08 AM
I didn't realize that looks helped play the game...

DMAC
09-08-2011, 11:08 AM
I would like to hear that story. So they booked a photoshoot with the wrong quarterback? Did they not realize the team had more than one?

Here ya go...

http://deadspin.com/5302475/the-sad-hilarious-tale-of-elvis-grbac-1998s-sexiest-athlete-alive

This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac.

Pearlman's yarn:

One of my favorite all-time stories is about Elvis Grbac (left), Rich Gannon (right) and People Magazine's Sexiest Men issue from 1998. It is both outlandish and 100-percent true.

Back in the day I knew many People staffers, and they were all cool, fun, intelligent-and woefully ignorant about sports. Every year, in planning the Sexiest Men issue, People's editors would ask a bunch of us at Sports Illustrated for suggestions and insight. In 1998, for a reason I'll never understand, they decided not to seek out help.

The magazine chose Rich Gannon as its Sexiest Athlete. At the time, Gannon was a member of the Kansas City Chiefs. Still a couple of seasons removed from his golden tenure with the Raiders, Gannon was 33, handsome and likable. In other words, a solid choice. Yet People, being People, simply informed the photographer assigned to the piece that the Sexiest Athlete was the Chiefs' quarterback. Hence, he took pictures of the Chiefs' quarterback. Well, one of the Chiefs' quarterbacks: Elvis Grbac.

Yup.

The pictures made their way back to the New York offices, and editors were dumbfounded. This was their Sexiest Athlete? Yet upon learning the truth, no one with the magazine had the heart (guts?) to tell Grbac that an unfathomable mistake had been made. As a result, Elvis Grbac reigns as People's 1998 Sexiest Athlete.

The article's final line says it all: "His personality makes him sexy."

Amen.

whoman69
09-08-2011, 11:08 AM
LMAO Well, they match up well with our cheerleaders.

No, our cheerleaders have squarer jaws.

whoman69
09-08-2011, 11:11 AM
Here ya go...

http://deadspin.com/5302475/the-sad-hilarious-tale-of-elvis-grbac-1998s-sexiest-athlete-alive

Maybe that explains Marty putting Grbac in for the playoffs. He was just confused about who was the actual QB.

TrebMaxx
09-08-2011, 11:14 AM
I think the study actually uncovers part of the "right 53" formula.

KCFalcon59
09-08-2011, 11:14 AM
Sounds like CBS News should stick to news.

They're not good at that either.

DMAC
09-08-2011, 11:16 AM
Maybe that explains Marty putting Grbac in for the playoffs. He was just confused about who was the actual QB.

I was laughing. Now I'm mad.

Bearcat
09-08-2011, 11:20 AM
CBS News and the WSJ? :facepalm:


Keep this crap on GQ.



So being tall, dark and handsome in real life may actually mean you are overmatched, underwhelming and ugly on the gridiron.

:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

Zeke
09-08-2011, 11:31 AM
Well, our hottness factor went up 10-fold when Shaun signed with Tennessee.

ChiefsCountry
09-08-2011, 11:35 AM
Keep this crap on GQ.


http://bossip.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/mark-sanchez-gq.jpg?w=559

HemiEd
09-08-2011, 11:39 AM
Here ya go...

http://deadspin.com/5302475/the-sad-hilarious-tale-of-elvis-grbac-1998s-sexiest-athlete-alive

That is hilarious, I didn't know that. At the time, I couldn't figure out how Elvis had won that honor, now I know. It makes a lot more sense, thanks.

Count Alex's Wins
09-08-2011, 11:40 AM
we have the cutest kicker

http://queenofsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Chiefs-Succop-cjonline.com_.jpg

KILLER_CLOWN
09-08-2011, 11:42 AM
This has to be the dumbest bit of 'news' i've seen all day. I guess CBS was having a hard time coming up with something.

boogblaster
09-08-2011, 12:55 PM
ugly is better .. left alone ....

memyselfI
09-08-2011, 01:00 PM
Ladies, don't despair. Our Sporting KC soccer team makes up for this. LMAO

FTR, Tyler Palko, with his long hair, isn't bad to look at. Neither is Matt Cassel.

Detoxing
09-08-2011, 01:06 PM
we have the cutest kicker

http://queenofsports.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Chiefs-Succop-cjonline.com_.jpg

OMG DREAMY

Detoxing
09-08-2011, 01:07 PM
Oh, and don't forget about Dick Stanzi, our Green Eyed QB

SNR
09-08-2011, 01:42 PM
Oh, and don't forget about Dick Stanzi, our Green Eyed QBHe looks like America. And America looks pretty damn good

Barret
09-08-2011, 01:49 PM
Would you rather have pretty boys or have this lining up for your team and scaring the shit out of opposing players???

NJChiefsFan
09-08-2011, 01:59 PM
Explain to me how we lose to Seattle with these guys on the team?

http://www.rotoworld.com/images/headshots/NFL/3711.jpg

http://media.scout.com/Media/Image/61/611129m.jpg

Rain Man
09-08-2011, 02:18 PM
Suzy Kolber wasn't a lesbian until she had to do a couple of Chiefs games.

Frazod
09-08-2011, 02:57 PM
Explain to me how we lose to Seattle with these guys on the team?

http://www.rotoworld.com/images/headshots/NFL/3711.jpg

http://media.scout.com/Media/Image/61/611129m.jpg

Holy shit, actors in Klingon make-up look less like a Klingon than the guy in the bottom photo.

loochy
09-08-2011, 03:33 PM
Explain to me how we lose to Seattle with these guys on the team?

http://www.rotoworld.com/images/headshots/NFL/3711.jpg

LMAO:LOL:LMAO:LOL: wow that guy looks retarded

Omaha
09-08-2011, 03:42 PM
LMAO:LOL:LMAO:LOL: wow that guy looks retarded

Marshawn Lynch doesn't?

lcarus
09-08-2011, 03:44 PM
I think we should trade Jamaal Charles. Otherwise we're never gonna win this competition.

loochy
09-08-2011, 03:52 PM
Marshawn Lynch doesn't?

He just looks messed up. The other guy looks like a giant version of Beavis.

BoneKrusher
09-08-2011, 03:54 PM
Holy shit, actors in Klingon make-up look less like a Klingon than the guy in the bottom photo.

wow that's one ugly dude right there..
Marshawn Lynch? LMAO

Pants
09-08-2011, 03:57 PM
LMAO:LOL:LMAO:LOL: wow that guy looks retarded

This is how I imagine grown up billay. You know the resemblance is uncanny, don't lie.

4th and Long
09-08-2011, 03:58 PM
Holy shit, actors in Klingon make-up look less like a Klingon than the guy in the bottom photo.
P'Tak! LMAO:LOL:

BoneKrusher
09-08-2011, 04:37 PM
P'Tak! LMAO:LOL:

awesome DBowe sig Man.

CrazyPhuD
09-08-2011, 04:59 PM
Explain to me how we lose to Seattle with these guys on the team?

http://www.rotoworld.com/images/headshots/NFL/3711.jpg



WTF....corky had a kid?

<iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JVcbY3Tf_TE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Rain Man
09-08-2011, 09:03 PM
WTF....corky had a kid?

<iframe width="420" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JVcbY3Tf_TE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


Twins, actually.

The good thing about being twins in this case is that you will never be the ugliest guy around.

CHENZ A!
09-08-2011, 09:10 PM
Brian Waters carried us for so long, he was such a handsome man. I knew losing him would hurt.

MahiMike
09-08-2011, 09:15 PM
It's Mccluster's fault. Brothers with dregs look like the Predator to me.

SNR
09-08-2011, 09:18 PM
I think I know why. THey count team owners as part of the team.

Clark Hunt is an ugly, ugly, man.

rocknrolla
09-08-2011, 09:22 PM
Stephen Smith must be the gayest sports reporter ever. If he is looking for the most attractive team during the NFL opening week.

rockymtnchief
09-08-2011, 09:42 PM
I think I know why. THey count team owners as part of the team.

Clark Hunt is an ugly, ugly, man.

Not if you compare him to Al Davis.

DenverDanChiefsFan
09-08-2011, 10:26 PM
Explain to me how we lose to Seattle with these guys on the team?

http://www.rotoworld.com/images/headshots/NFL/3711.jpg

Holly shit. My wife asked her parents for The Mask one year. They sent us Mask. This has to be the dude.

NJChiefsFan
09-08-2011, 11:58 PM
LMAO:LOL:LMAO:LOL: wow that guy looks retarded

Not sure if this is what Rain Man meant by twins, but this guys has a twin brother on the Raiders I think.

CrazyPhuD
09-09-2011, 04:35 AM
Not sure if this is what Rain Man meant by twins, but this guys has a twin brother on the Raiders I think.

Let me guess...the Seahawks guy's first name is Dumb...and the raiders guy's first name is Dumber?

WhiteWhale
09-09-2011, 07:37 AM
I've said it before and I'll say it again:

I like my coffee hot, my beer cold, and my football players ugly.

Otter
09-09-2011, 08:08 AM
Off the top of my head we have:

Matt Cassell
Eric Berry

and a bunch or average looking guys. It's not like that dude from "Mask" is playing center, who's bringing down the curve? Nonsense I say.

WhiteWhale
09-09-2011, 11:54 AM
Off the top of my head we have:

Matt Cassell
Eric Berry

and a bunch or average looking guys. It's not like that dude from "Mask" is playing center, who's bringing down the curve? Nonsense I say.

To be serious about it....

It's not grading features, it's grading how similar one half of the face is to the other.

I find the criteria a bit dubious to label 'attractiveness'. They didn't poll a bunch of women (the only accurate gauge)... they had a machine measure symmetry. A guy could look like a donkey, but as long as the two sides are symmetrical they'll get a better rating. They'll still be symmetrically ugly though.

DMAC
09-14-2011, 03:28 PM
This demoralized the team.

Rooster
09-14-2011, 03:34 PM
This demoralized the team.

I think you are right. Ugly is as Ugly does.

rico
09-14-2011, 05:50 PM
I wonder if these people will conclude that there is a positive correlation between attractiveness and winning.... you know since they reportedly use such gigantic data sets.

lcarus
09-14-2011, 05:57 PM
Explain to me how we lose to Seattle with these guys on the team?

http://www.rotoworld.com/images/headshots/NFL/3711.jpg



Looks more like Viggo the Carpathian to me.
http://stevemccutchen.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/final-vigo.png?w=413&h=180