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View Full Version : Life SMACK DOWN! What are the best ones you've delivered or seen?


chris
09-21-2011, 07:28 AM
Please share the best insults you've laid on a poor soul that send him crying to Momma!

Or blistering ones that you have admired as to their artistic genius.

I admit I'm not good at it. I was responding this AM to a whining CPer and realized that I need inspiration.

Show them off!

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 07:30 AM
I just got in a brawl last weekend at the bar does that count?

seclark
09-21-2011, 07:36 AM
i remember when someone called someone's mom an "ore". that appeared to piss someone off pretty bad.
sec

Donger
09-21-2011, 07:48 AM
Not applicable.

burt
09-21-2011, 07:53 AM
There is no way that I would share my insults in a medium frequented by the giant known as Iowanian.

big nasty kcnut
09-21-2011, 07:54 AM
i called someone a dumb bitch and i have to wear the daddy pants sometime.

KcFanInGA
09-21-2011, 10:26 AM
Laid the smackdown on mike cock last night. Pummelled him without mercy..then tried to tug his head off.

FAX
09-21-2011, 10:28 AM
I once disarmed a kid who tried to hit me with a 2x4 and beat him mercilessly for several minutes until he cried.

FAX THE TERRIBLE

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 10:28 AM
Laid the smackdown on mike cock last night. Pummelled him without mercy..then tried to tug his head off.

I'm assuming you mean a man named Mike Cock and not your penis. And by pummeled him you mean had sex with him.

In which case i believe you.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 10:29 AM
I once disarmed a kid who tried to hit me with a 2x4 and beat him mercilessly for several minutes until he cried.

FAX THE TERRIBLE

It took him several minutes to cry as you were beating him with a 2x4???

Either you swing like a bitch or he was tough as hell.

SNR
09-21-2011, 10:45 AM
Please share the best insults you've laid on a poor soul that send him crying to Momma!

Or blistering ones that you have admired as to their artistic genius.

I admit I'm not good at it. I was responding this AM to a whining CPer and realized that I need inspiration.

Show them off!Suck my dick you fucking cunt

FAX
09-21-2011, 10:47 AM
It took him several minutes to cry as you were beating him with a 2x4???

Either you swing like a bitch or he was tough as hell.

He was kinda stout, you know? Fireplug-like in stature.

You can whack a guy like that with a 2x4 for quite awhile before landing a true, telling blow, Mr. Sofa King.

FAX

SNR
09-21-2011, 10:51 AM
He was kinda stout, you know? Fireplug-like in stature.

You can whack a guy like that with a 2x4 for quite awhile before landing a true, telling blow, Mr. Sofa King.

FAX
"Fat kid," FAX. Just say "fat kid". It's okay.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 10:53 AM
He was kinda stout, you know? Fireplug-like in stature.

You can whack a guy like that with a 2x4 for quite awhile before landing a true, telling blow, Mr. Sofa King.

FAX

Well then perhaps it's only a Cassel-like accuracy problem with you then, Mr. Fax.

Mr. Flopnuts
09-21-2011, 10:59 AM
One time, I called this dude a ReeTodd.

gblowfish
09-21-2011, 11:14 AM
The Badgirl smackdown last week was epic...

chris
09-21-2011, 11:34 AM
Suck my dick you ****ing ****

Ah, now everyone knows you were the whining CPer I was referring to.

You certainly aren't the sharpest tool in the tool shed are you?

That PhD in waste management has taken you far. :)

burt
09-21-2011, 11:38 AM
Ah, now everyone knows you were the whining CPer I was referring to.

You certainly aren't the sharpest tool in the tool shed are you?

That PhD in waste management has taken you far. :)

Actually, his response just seemed like a normal uninspired reply. I didn't know it was SNR until YOU outed him.

And you are correct, your smaque is lame.

Rain Man
09-21-2011, 11:53 AM
I once disarmed a kid who tried to hit me with a 2x4 and beat him mercilessly for several minutes until he cried.

FAX THE TERRIBLE


Did you beat him mercilessly with his arm after you disarmed him? Because that would be a nice marriage of violence and classic literature.

chris
09-21-2011, 11:56 AM
Actually, his response just seemed like a normal uninspired reply. I didn't know it was SNR until YOU outed him.

And you are correct, your smaque is lame.

IT IS LAME. I normally don't like insulting people.

I've seen some classics on CP. Iowoanian is someone that I don't want to get mad at me. :)

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 12:03 PM
IT IS LAME. I normally don't like insulting people.

I've seen some classics on CP. Iowoian is someone that I don't want to get at me. :)

Iowanian is a teddy bear compared to FAX THE ANGRY.

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 12:18 PM
I was in class and talking to one of my friends. You know those teacher's pets that love to "SHHHH!!" you even louder than you are talking to get attention. Well I stopped listening to her and kept talking. I was talking about a sexual situation with one of my ex's and she felt compelled to scream out loud, "How come everything that comes out of your mouth is sexual!?" Everyone, including the teacher, stopped and looked in my direction. Without skipping a beat, I responded, "Bitch! How come everything that goes IN your mouth is sexual!?"

FAX
09-21-2011, 12:25 PM
Give me a 2x4 and Mr. Iowanian a fairly enormous dose of Demerol and I'll change his name to Mr. Oweyanian

FAX

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 12:28 PM
I was in class and talking to one of my friends. You know those teacher's pets that love to "SHHHH!!" you even louder than you are talking to get attention. Well I stopped listening to her and kept talking. I was talking about a sexual situation with one of my ex's and she felt compelled to scream out loud, "How come everything that comes out of your mouth is sexual!?" Everyone, including the teacher, stopped and looked in my direction. Without skipping a beat, I responded, "Bitch! How come everything that goes IN your mouth is sexual!?"

Homeschooled?

FAX
09-21-2011, 12:29 PM
Homeschooled?

ROFL

Damn, man.

FAX

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 12:33 PM
Homeschooled?

HAHA! Ouch.

That is none of your business, sir!

BigVE
09-21-2011, 12:34 PM
Homeschooled?


Only a one word response, yet so effective. Nice.:clap:

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 12:34 PM
HAHA! Ouch.

That is none of your business, sir!

Well you're not denying it sooooo..........

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 12:36 PM
Well you're not denying it sooooo..........

People are allowed to think what they want.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 12:42 PM
People are allowed to think what they want.

You just won't fight back, will you?

Discuss Thrower
09-21-2011, 12:44 PM
Not applicable.

A homeowner with a garage and his friends disagree with you.

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 12:44 PM
You just won't fight back, will you?

Nope, not really my style.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 12:46 PM
Nope, not really my style.

Oh it's not? I call BS. I think it is exactly your style.

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 12:49 PM
Oh it's not? I call BS. I think it is exactly your style.

Ha! Yet again, people are allowed to think whatever they want.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 12:50 PM
Ha! Yet again, people are allowed to think whatever they want.

What do you mean "people"? Is that some sort of derogatory slam against African Americans? Shame on you.

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 12:54 PM
What do you mean "people"? Is that some sort of derogatory slam against African Americans? Shame on you.

http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/2/24/I_see_what_you_did_there_super.jpg

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 12:56 PM
http://cache.ohinternet.com/images/2/24/I_see_what_you_did_there_super.jpg

Sweet. Somehow you knew i can't see shit without my glasses so you post that hateful picture. That's not very nice.

Rain Man
09-21-2011, 01:02 PM
People are allowed to think what they want.

You're not allowed to think that.

Donger
09-21-2011, 01:03 PM
A homeowner with a garage and his friends disagree with you.

I don't think that was applicable, honestly.

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 01:04 PM
Sweet. Somehow you knew i can't see shit without my glasses so you post that hateful picture. That's not very nice.

Without glasses, how can you tell if it's hateful or not? lol.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 01:07 PM
Without glasses, how can you tell if it's hateful or not? lol.

I have them on right now. Stop laughing at me. Jerk.

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 01:09 PM
I have them on right now. Stop laughing at me. Jerk.

Testing, testing.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 01:12 PM
Testing, testing.


http://www.webdesign.org/img_articles/13819/step1.gif

oh.

That's not funny. Absolutely ruthless.

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 01:16 PM
http://www.webdesign.org/img_articles/13819/step1.gif

oh.

That's not funny. Absolutely ruthless.

My Bad

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 01:16 PM
My Bad

You don't need to yell! I can hear just fine!!!!!

luv
09-21-2011, 01:17 PM
I gave your mom the smack down last night, does that count?

Kyle DeLexus
09-21-2011, 01:18 PM
I gave your mom the smack down last night, does that count?

only if you paid her first

luv
09-21-2011, 01:19 PM
only if you paid her first

Pfft.

She paid me.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 01:20 PM
Pfft.

She paid me.

Did she pay you in bubblegum?

Kyle DeLexus
09-21-2011, 01:21 PM
Did she pay you in bubblegum?

nobody pays me in gum :(

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 01:22 PM
You don't need to yell! I can hear just fine!!!!!

:clap:

luv
09-21-2011, 01:22 PM
Did she pay you in bubblegum?

Nah. She let me take pictures. They can been seen in the BBW thread.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 01:24 PM
:clap:

Thank you, thank you.

This was pretty fun, you should post more.

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 01:25 PM
Nah. She let me take pictures. They can been seen in the BBW thread.

LMAO

That's one of the only threads i've ever hit ignore on in my life, and i'm not about to go digging around for it again.

luv
09-21-2011, 01:29 PM
LMAO

That's one of the only threads i've ever hit ignore on in my life, and i'm not about to go digging around for it again.

You're missing out. There's a whole lotta love in that thread. LMAO

Sofa King
09-21-2011, 01:32 PM
You're missing out. There's a whole lotta love in that thread. LMAO

http://pics.livejournal.com/numol/pic/00018hp7.gif

Frazod
09-21-2011, 01:39 PM
A guy I worked for in the Navy. He called me a prick, but then reconsidered:

"Frazod, I called you a prick, but I lied. Because, Frazod, a prick is three things - it's the better part of a man, it's got a head on it's shoulders, and it serves a purpose in life, and NONE OF THOSE DESCRIBE YOU."

I never forgot that one. LMAO

luv
09-21-2011, 01:42 PM
http://pics.livejournal.com/numol/pic/00018hp7.gif

LMAO

mdchiefsfan
09-21-2011, 03:12 PM
Thank you, thank you.

This was pretty fun, you should post more.

I agree. Good times.

MOhillbilly
09-21-2011, 03:17 PM
Talk is cheap and violence is funny.

RedNeckRaider
09-21-2011, 03:21 PM
Years ago a buddy and I worked for was a total prick. He lost a finger and one eye for reasons I still do not know. He was screaming at my buddy for something saying he should pay attention. My buddy replied "you are the last person who should give me advice about paying attention you nine fingered, one eyed motherfucker~

SNR
09-21-2011, 03:25 PM
I'm not sure how I should feel about being the inspiration for a thread in which the author is basically asking, "Damn, this asshole won't just leave me and my simple mind alone! How do I beat him?"

Kyle DeLexus
09-21-2011, 03:39 PM
I'm not sure how I should feel about being the inspiration for a thread in which the author is basically asking, "Damn, this asshole won't just leave me and my simple mind alone! How do I beat him?"

give him a suggestion on what insult to use against you?

SNR
09-21-2011, 06:17 PM
Chris, you know I hate it when you pull out that weak err... I mean, really potent portable toilet-cleaning smack. If you keep doing that, I'm bound to crack and leave you alone for awhile dude. I just can't handle that stuff.