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FAX
11-17-2011, 03:56 AM
Yesterday was a typical example of early fall in Nashville. I awoke with the sun, brimming with anticipation that the coming day would be replete with happiness, peace, and an array of joyous wonders to explore. I walked to the kitchen, toasted a cinnamon raisin bagel, and made myself a pot of fresh, Starbucks French Roast coffee. Then, as I took the first sip, I was suddenly rocked with a pain so intense (reminiscent of a red-hot paring knife being repeatedly jammed into my right ear) that I fell to my knees in the throes of indescribable agony.

I began praying that God, in his infinite mercy, would take my life. But, instead, He guided my hands to the telephone and somehow gave me the strength to dial my dentist.

"In the name of all that's holy," says I to the girl who answered, "send someone over right away with a gun to shoot me."

"Gladly, Mr. FAX," the girl replied. "In the meantime, would you like to make an appointment?"

"If I have to drive over there, I will surely kill the first person I see," says I, "but if you're willing to risk it, so am I."

A half-hour later and after paperwork, seating assignments, and x-rays were completed, the dentist informed me that one of my wisdom teeth had deteriorated to the point that the nerve was exposed. He then stated that he had already contacted an oral surgeon in order that all four of my wisdom teeth could be forcibly removed from my skull.

I am now scheduled to have my wisdom teeth cut out of my head on the 28th of the month and am told that the recovery period will last somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 to 5 days due to bleeding, pain, blindness, aneurysms, uncontrollable flatulence, and other possible complications far too numerous to mention. Not only that, but the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX has to be there so that someone can claim the body should I die during the procedure.

Damn it to hell. And I brush and floss and everything.

FAX

Buck
11-17-2011, 03:58 AM
Did the coffee fall anywhere near the Peanut Butter stain?

Buck
11-17-2011, 03:59 AM
But seriously, I hope you get through it well. Are you going to be forgoing the painkillers afterward?

FAX
11-17-2011, 03:59 AM
Did the coffee fall anywhere near the Peanut Butter stain?

You know, it's funny, but I was somehow able to set my coffee cup on the counter before the spasms, weeping, and floor-rolling commenced.

It's all a blur, really.

FAX

FAX
11-17-2011, 04:02 AM
But seriously, I hope you get through it well. Are you going to be forgoing the painkillers afterward?

I actually haven't thought about that. My dentist prescribed some lortabs, but I haven't taken any ... just Advil.

I'm not sure how either my body or my psyche would react to narcotics. I'm thinking a combination of Tylenol and Jagerbombs might be an appropriate alternative.

FAX

Buck
11-17-2011, 04:04 AM
I know you're joking, but don't drink alcohol.

Don't use any straws or make any sucking motions with your mouth. You'll get a dry socket and want to kill yourself.

ChiefButthurt
11-17-2011, 04:09 AM
Sooo, what you're saying is that you have a muck mouth cause you don't brush? :doh!:

FAX
11-17-2011, 04:14 AM
Sooo, what you're saying is that you have a muck mouth cause you don't brush? :doh!:

No. I do brush. I am meticulous about personal hygiene and junk like that.

I brush and floss. I even have a bunch of those little stick deals with the floss string already in them that I keep in my bag for use after lunches and stuff.

I don't know why this is happening. Except that I have thin enamel on my teeth that is some kind of pathetic genetic joke played on my when I was born. The dentist guy says that's the problem I've been having. He can kiss my ass, though. I am convinced he is the spawn of Mengele.

FAX

FAX
11-17-2011, 04:18 AM
By the way, Joseph Jr. said that some people are born without any wisdom teeth at all. Then, some people are born with wisdom teeth that never come it. Then, some people have 4 wisdom teeth and some people have 3 and the lady at the oral surgeon's office that takes down your insurance information says she and her daughter had 6 wisdom teeth ... not all together either ... 6 wisdom teeth each ... for a total of 12 wisdom teeth.

I don't understand all that.

FAX

BigRock
11-17-2011, 05:16 AM
I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed when I was 17. On a list of the all-time greatest atrocities committed by man, I would rank it just slightly below the Holocaust and the Cassel trade, but above 9/11 and the Rwandan Genocide.

If I have any wisdom still leftover to impart, it would be this:

First, make sure they clearly explain your painkiller options, in terms of the actual procedure itself. In my case, they just said "You can get a needle or the gas, which would you like?"

Well, shit, nobody likes getting stuck with needles. If I have a choice, why not get the totally painless gas, right?

WRONG. What they completely failed to explain is that "needle" meant one needle in my arm that would have knocked me out and let me sleep through the entire procedure. While "gas" meant just enough nitrous to relax me for the TWENTY FIVE NEEDLES they gave me in my mouth while I was fully awake and alert.

Second, before he gets to ripping out your tooths, say to the dentist/surgeon guy, "Excuse me, sir, but I would greatly appriciate it if, while extracting the teeth from my head, you don't push down so hard on my jaw that you dislocate it".

Third, if they inform you that after misleading you into 25 needle injections and dislocating your jaw that, even though you followed their recovery instructions to a tee you now have not one but TWO dry sockets, just go get back in your car and drive it off a cliff.

That may sound extreme, but once they tie you to the chair and start stuffing the shoelaces soaked in turpentine down into the raw exposed holes in your mouth, you'll be thinking "Gosh, you know, I really do wish that I'd driven my car off a cliff."

Best of luck, Mr. FAX. I'm sure it will be nowhere near as bad as I've described, but just in case, this knowledge will hopefully serve you well.

Demonpenz
11-17-2011, 06:12 AM
LoraTabs after mine didn't really do anything but made me loopy. I still felt the ache. Don't mess with the holes after the surgery is done dry sockets will make you shit your pants. I used to abuse painkillers so being on painkillers after something like this will be like having a beautiful girl in your bed naked while your wife is out of town. Good luck homie.

O.city
11-17-2011, 06:19 AM
I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed when I was 17. On a list of the all-time greatest atrocities committed by man, I would rank it just slightly below the Holocaust and the Cassel trade, but above 9/11 and the Rwandan Genocide.

If I have any wisdom still leftover to impart, it would be this:

First, make sure they clearly explain your painkiller options, in terms of the actual procedure itself. In my case, they just said "You can get a needle or the gas, which would you like?"

Well, shit, nobody likes getting stuck with needles. If I have a choice, why not get the totally painless gas, right?

WRONG. What they completely failed to explain is that "needle" meant one needle in my arm that would have knocked me out and let me sleep through the entire procedure. While "gas" meant just enough nitrous to relax me for the TWENTY FIVE NEEDLES they gave me in my mouth while I was fully awake and alert.

Second, before he gets to ripping out your tooths, say to the dentist/surgeon guy, "Excuse me, sir, but I would greatly appriciate it if, while extracting the teeth from my head, you don't push down so hard on my jaw that you dislocate it".

Third, if they inform you that after misleading you into 25 needle injections and dislocating your jaw that, even though you followed their recovery instructions to a tee you now have not one but TWO dry sockets, just go get back in your car and drive it off a cliff.

That may sound extreme, but once they tie you to the chair and start stuffing the shoelaces soaked in turpentine down into the raw exposed holes in your mouth, you'll be thinking "Gosh, you know, I really do wish that I'd driven my car off a cliff."

Best of luck, Mr. FAX. I'm sure it will be nowhere near as bad as I've described, but just in case, this knowledge will hopefully serve you well.

Can't really be avoided. Your wisdom teeth are really really far back there. They are damn hard to see and even harder to get too. '

Like the experience Fax is having, when they bomb out it sucks because they usually have the IA nerve wrapped around their roots.

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:20 AM
I actually haven't thought about that. My dentist prescribed some lortabs, but I haven't taken any ... just Advil.

I'm not sure how either my body or my psyche would react to narcotics. I'm thinking a combination of Tylenol and Jagerbombs might be an appropriate alternative.

FAX

lortabs suck. Your prescription is better.

FAX
11-17-2011, 06:28 AM
What in the name of Marilyn Monroe's arid sphincter are dry sockets?

FAX

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:31 AM
The only way they are talking my last 2 wisdom teeth is to put me under otherwise I not the only one going home with teeth missing or worse.

Otter
11-17-2011, 06:39 AM
I actually haven't thought about that. My dentist prescribed some lortabs, but I haven't taken any ... just Advil.

I'm not sure how either my body or my psyche would react to narcotics. I'm thinking a combination of Tylenol and Jagerbombs might be an appropriate alternative.

FAX

Never take a drug that contains acetaminophen (such as tylenol) with alcohol or you'll be looking back at this experience with fond nostalgia.

Acetaminophen causes three times as many cases of liver failure as all other drugs combined,<sup id="cite_ref-13" class="reference"> (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tylenol#cite_note-13)</sup>and is the most common cause of acute liver failure in the United States,<sup id="cite_ref-pmid17984051_14-0" class="reference"> (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tylenol#cite_note-pmid17984051-14)</sup>accounting for 39% of cases. While it occurs through overdosing,<sup id="cite_ref-Drug-Induced_Hepatotoxicity_5-1" class="reference"> (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tylenol#cite_note-Drug-Induced_Hepatotoxicity-5)</sup>even recommended doses especially combined with even small amounts of alcohol, have caused irreversible liver failure

Hope all goes well and good luck with the uncontrollable flatulence.

FAX
11-17-2011, 06:42 AM
Wow. Thank you, Dr. Otter. Thank you very much.

You have saved my life.

I must now wear a turban and follow you around everywhere, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until I repay this debt ... or until you become aggravating and I am forced to kill you ... whichever comes first.

FAX

rageeumr
11-17-2011, 06:44 AM
I had mine out in college (9 or 10 years ago). I only had 3, which is odd. You would think it would be an even number.

Anyway, it was a really easy ordeal for me. Very little pain and I was eating solid food within a day.

FAX
11-17-2011, 06:47 AM
Dr. Otter ...

Doctor Otter ...

That has a nice ring to it.

From this point forward and into the future forever and ever, Dr. Otter shall be your nom de Planet.

FAX

FAX
11-17-2011, 06:51 AM
I had mine out in college (9 or 10 years ago). I only had 3, which is odd. You would think it would be an even number.

Anyway, it was a really easy ordeal for me. Very little pain and I was eating solid food within a day.

Yeah ... that's what they say alright.

Some people have 4 and some have 3 and some have 2 and some have 5 and some even have 6. It's crazy, really. Those stupid wisdom teeth.

Some people have their wisdom teeth come in just like regular teeth ... only smarter. Then, some people have wisdom teeth that never come in.

The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX told me that hers were taken out when she was 18 and that most people in her society did that ... it was normal. Of course, she was a private school girl raised in the lap of luxury whereas I was born in a small agrarian Kansas town and raised in the lap of a lady that the townsfolk called Party Girl. I was so happy when Party Girl was arrested and I could go back to my parents.

FAX

Otter
11-17-2011, 06:53 AM
Wow. Thank you, Dr. Otter. Thank you very much.

You have saved my life.

I must now wear a turban and follow you around everywhere, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until I repay this debt ... or until you become aggravating and I am forced to kill you ... whichever comes first.

FAX

Let's agree on my laundry, vacuum & dust, and dishes 1 day a week and the rest of your time is yours. We'll negotiate on mowing the lawn come spring.

~otter the benevolent

tooge
11-17-2011, 06:54 AM
did the dentist also mention penile cancer could come from this?

FAX
11-17-2011, 06:56 AM
did the dentist also mention penile cancer could come from this?

Yeah. He did.

He said 9 out of 10 dentists recommend that, prior to the procedure, you give up animal sex just in case.

FAX

Buehler445
11-17-2011, 06:57 AM
You'll be fine FAX.

When I was in High School I had scheduled to have mine out with the local bastard. He wasn't certified for any anesthesia, so he just numbed it like a filling. Anyway, it took so damn long that he only got 2 out and told me to reschedule. It was such a horrible experience I didn't reschedule.

In college, my employer gave me a dental plan so I had an oral surgeon do it. MUCH better. There was some bleeding and soreness for awhile, but I even got dry socket, and it wasn't that bad of an experience. It's all in the care you get.

The anesthesia had a pretty significant effect on me. I was pretty much knocked out (Barely conscious, high as a kite) for a long time, and even after I came out of it, I was tired for a week or so. But I'm pretty sure the doctor said, "That's a big dude. He needs A LOT." Just speculation,

Overall though, oral surgeon is much better than the alternative. It isn't a fun experience, but if you can get some good care from the doctor it is totally manageable. Just be aware of dry socket and do what they tell you to do.

tooge
11-17-2011, 06:58 AM
I'm the 10th dentist. Do as you please.

FAX
11-17-2011, 06:59 AM
Slowly, but surely, I'm becoming increasingly aware that this thing called "dry socket" is bad.

What in the name of God's Swollen Prostate is "dry socket"?

FAX

Frankie
11-17-2011, 07:10 AM
Yesterday was a typical example of early fall in Nashville. I awoke with the sun, brimming with anticipation that the coming day would be replete with happiness, peace, and an array of joyous wonders to explore. I walked to the kitchen, toasted a cinnamon raisin bagel, and made myself a pot of fresh, Starbucks French Roast coffee. Then, as I took the first sip, I was suddenly rocked with a pain so intense (reminiscent of a red-hot paring knife being repeatedly jammed into my right ear) that I fell to my knees in the throes of indescribable agony.

I began praying that God, in his infinite mercy, would take my life. But, instead, He guided my hands to the telephone and somehow gave me the strength to dial my dentist.

"In the name of all that's holy," says I to the girl who answered, "send someone over right away with a gun to shoot me."

"Gladly, Mr. FAX," the girl replied. "In the meantime, would you like to make an appointment?"

"If I have to drive over there, I will surely kill the first person I see," says I, "but if you're willing to risk it, so am I."

A half-hour later and after paperwork, seating assignments, and x-rays were completed, the dentist informed me that one of my wisdom teeth had deteriorated to the point that the nerve was exposed. He then stated that he had already contacted an oral surgeon in order that all four of my wisdom teeth could be forcibly removed from my skull.

I am now scheduled to have my wisdom teeth cut out of my head on the 28th of the month and am told that the recovery period will last somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 to 5 days due to bleeding, pain, blindness, aneurysms, uncontrollable flatulence, and other possible complications far too numerous to mention. Not only that, but the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX has to be there so that someone can claim the body should I die during the procedure.

Damn it to hell. And I brush and floss and everything.

FAX

A sad day for the Chiefs Planet. How will we ever do without all that wisdom that Mr. Fax always gives us? :(

Frankie
11-17-2011, 07:17 AM
He wasn't certified for any anesthesia, so he just numbed it like a filling. Anyway, it took so damn long that he only got 2 out and told me to reschedule. It was such a horrible experience I didn't reschedule.

It isn't a fun experience, but if you can get some good care from the doctor it is totally manageable. Just be aware of dry socket and do what they tell you to do.

Hey when you are kind of under and shadows are working around you and your mouth while you kind of know it but you don't give a shit, that's pretty fun. So is the sleep afterwards.

At least that was my experience years ago when I had all 4 removed at the same sitting.

Dartgod
11-17-2011, 07:20 AM
Slowly, but surely, I'm becoming increasingly aware that this thing called "dry socket" is bad.

What in the name of God's Swollen Prostate is "dry socket"?

FAX

The hole where the tooth comes out has to form a blood clot to keep the nerves from being exposed. If the clot forms and stays, not an issue.

Smoking or drinking from a straw can create a suction in your mouth that causes the clot to come out, exposing the nerves and causing immense pain.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alveolar_osteitis

Lzen
11-17-2011, 07:23 AM
I had 2 removed last year. The bottom 2 are still under the gums so they decided not to mess with them. But the top 2 were really bugging me. Dentist told me when I was in my mid 20s that I should have that done but I ignored him. He was right, I should have had it done.

He recommended I go to an oral surgeon right down the street and so I finally set it up and had it done. My procedure was a piece of cake. Well, except for a few needles to the gums to numb them. But the actual extraction took less than 5 mins for each tooth. And I never had the dry socket. I wonder how many of these people that got it are smokers. They said don't smoke.

JD10367
11-17-2011, 07:25 AM
There was some bleeding and soreness for awhile, but I even got dry socket, and it wasn't that bad of an experience.

Enough about your trip to Penn State to meet the coaching staff. How was the dentistry?

Dartgod
11-17-2011, 07:28 AM
I wonder how many of these people that got it are smokers. They said don't smoke.

*raises hand*

FAX
11-17-2011, 07:31 AM
The hole where the tooth comes out has to form a blood clot to keep the nerves from being exposed. If the clot forms and stays, not an issue.

Smoking or drinking from a straw can create a suction in your mouth that causes the clot to come out, exposing the nerves and causing immense pain.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alveolar_osteitis

Thanks, Mr. Dartgod. I suppose I could have wikied that deal myself, now that I think about it.

Still, compared to learning this information from a cold, inanimate, uncaring, website, it's a lot easier coming from you. I'll be over this evening to do your dishes.

FAX

Dartgod
11-17-2011, 07:33 AM
Thanks, Mr. Dartgod. I suppose I could have wikied that deal myself, now that I think about it.

Still, compared to learning this information from a cold, inanimate, uncaring, website, it's a lot easier coming from you. I'll be over this evening to do your dishes.

FAX
The dishes can wait, however, the leaves in the yard are becoming a problem.

FAX
11-17-2011, 07:39 AM
I had 2 removed last year. The bottom 2 are still under the gums so they decided not to mess with them. But the top 2 were really bugging me. Dentist told me when I was in my mid 20s that I should have that done but I ignored him. He was right, I should have had it done.

He recommended I go to an oral surgeon right down the street and so I finally set it up and had it done. My procedure was a piece of cake. Well, except for a few needles to the gums to numb them. But the actual extraction took less than 5 mins for each tooth. And I never had the dry socket. I wonder how many of these people that got it are smokers. They said don't smoke.

I'd feel a whole lot better about this deal if my dentist hadn't been crying a little when he broke the news to me. His dental assistant girl person (a very cute little brunette with a gorgeous smile and extremely firm, medium-sized tittahs) actually held my hand and stroked my head when he broke the news, too. I even think I heard a Three Days Grace ballad playing in the background.

FAX

JD10367
11-17-2011, 07:44 AM
His dental assistant girl person (a very cute little brunette with a gorgeous smile and extremely firm, medium-sized tittahs) actually held my hand and stroked my head . . .

Pics or it didn't happen. Oh, wait... which head?

FAX
11-17-2011, 07:46 AM
Oh ... I almost forgot ...

My dentist also told me that some people descended from American Indians have longer tooth roots than other people have except for some tribal Mongols.

Unfortunately, I have really long tooth roots. He said that could be bad for me. I wonder if there's some connection between that and the fact that he wanted cash for the exam and inquired into whether or not I had listed my collection of blues CDs in my will.

FAX

seclark
11-17-2011, 07:46 AM
i had 3 wisdom teeth cut out about 25 years ago(only had 3). impacted...surgeon gave me gas(to put me out, not for me to put him out).
my only problem was he came to work in a very shitty mood, bitching at his nurses and shit. i told him i hoped he calmed down a little before he started cutting on me. other than that, there wasn't much to it. they woke me up and had the wife drive me home while i hung out the window hollering at everyone i saw. got home and laid down for awhile, then got up and drove to the polling center and voted(election day). the surgeon called me that night, checking on how i was doing.

kinda sore for a couple days, but no biggie. the stitches kinda bothered me. made me feel like i had a piece of jerky stuck back there. whatever pain pills he gave me, i'm sure i ate the first day.

you'll do fine.
sec

MahiMike
11-17-2011, 07:53 AM
Maybe switch to decaf?

Funny timing. My daughter is getting hers pulled as we type.

All I remember from my ordeal was the dental assistant had HUGE knockers!

mlyonsd
11-17-2011, 07:57 AM
I was born with only 1 wisdom tooth which proves I'm a little more evolved than most of you.

Count Zarth
11-17-2011, 08:00 AM
I got my wisdom teeth taken out like 4 years ago.....I thought everyone got it done before they turned 30.

Buehler445
11-17-2011, 08:01 AM
I had 2 removed last year. The bottom 2 are still under the gums so they decided not to mess with them. But the top 2 were really bugging me. Dentist told me when I was in my mid 20s that I should have that done but I ignored him. He was right, I should have had it done.

He recommended I go to an oral surgeon right down the street and so I finally set it up and had it done. My procedure was a piece of cake. Well, except for a few needles to the gums to numb them. But the actual extraction took less than 5 mins for each tooth. And I never had the dry socket. I wonder how many of these people that got it are smokers. They said don't smoke.

Dude. The top ones are easy. The bottom ones blow ass. You do all the work with the bottom ones. They have roots down to your freaking toenails.

Expect to be abused much more if you ever get the bottom ones out.

Not trying to be a dick, just want you to be aware.

mlyonsd
11-17-2011, 08:04 AM
Oh ... I almost forgot ...

My dentist also told me that some people descended from American Indians have longer tooth roots than other people have except for some tribal Mongols.

Unfortunately, I have really long tooth roots. He said that could be bad for me. I wonder if there's some connection between that and the fact that he wanted cash for the exam and inquired into whether or not I had listed my collection of blues CDs in my will.

FAXOnce I had a molar with a root that went bad that they had to do a root canal on. Fine. About three months after that I was sitting at my desk eating soup, yes soup, and I fet a giant pop. That molar cracked right down the middle.

So back to the dentist I go. He says well darn, that's bad luck but it happens sometimes. It needs to come out. (did I mention the dentist terrifies me?) He's looking at the x-rays and says I don't think I want to attempt it. You have extra long roots and if I get in there that deep and you start bleeding I don't have the facilites here to stop it. :eek:

So he makes an appointment for me at an oral surgeon. Before I leave he says you know they'll give you the option of novacaine or putting you to sleep....if I were you I'd go to sleep.

Turns out his advice was better than his work. They put in an IV, flipped a switch, and the next thing I remembered I was sitting in a chair wating for my wife to drive me home.

Long story short, if you get the chance to be put out do it.

FAX
11-17-2011, 08:04 AM
i had 3 wisdom teeth cut out about 25 years ago(only had 3). impacted...surgeon gave me gas(to put me out, not for me to put him out).
my only problem was he came to work in a very shitty mood, bitching at his nurses and shit. i told him i hoped he calmed down a little before he started cutting on me. other than that, there wasn't much to it. they woke me up and had the wife drive me home while i hung out the window hollering at everyone i saw. got home and laid down for awhile, then got up and drove to the polling center and voted(election day). the surgeon called me that night, checking on how i was doing.

kinda sore for a couple days, but no biggie. the stitches kinda bothered me. made me feel like i had a piece of jerky stuck back there. whatever pain pills he gave me, i'm sure i ate the first day.

you'll do fine.
sec

ROFL

That reminds me of something that happened to me in my past place ...

I had some shoulder surgery performed which required a morphine injection to kill the post-procedure pain that I experienced upon awakening from sedation.

After receiving the shot, I felt tons better and was told I could go home. The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX was starting to organize my clothes and stuff when the post-op nurse girl said, "You still have some morphine left, would you like one for the road?" Well, since I had fallen madly in love with the nurse girl after the first shot and since I felt a whole lot like I was lying on a beach in the Caribbean at that particular moment, I said, "Hell yeah, why not?" At which point she went ahead and gave me the rest of the morphine that was in the syringe, pulled my IV and off I went.

On the way home, I convinced the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX to stop by the video store because I wanted to kick back and watch some damn movies because I felt so cool and awesome and didn't have to go back to work. She hesitated at first but then complied with my request. Anyhow, at the video store, I rented about 8 movies because they all looked so cool and awesome, got home, put a movie in the DVD thing, ordered some popcorn, watched about 2 minutes of the first movie, fell asleep on the couch, and slept for the next 16 hours at which time the movies were due back.

FAX

Frankie
11-17-2011, 08:32 AM
Smoking or drinking from a straw can create a suction in your mouth that causes the clot to come out,...

Generally I would recommend against ANY suction in one's mouth for a while.

Dentist told me when I was in my mid 20s that I should have that done but I ignored him. He was right, I should have had it done.

Glad you are telling this to Mr. Fax while he is still in his mid 20s.

seclark
11-17-2011, 08:37 AM
ROFL

That reminds me of something that happened to me in my past place ...

I had some shoulder surgery performed which required a morphine injection to kill the post-procedure pain that I experienced upon awakening from sedation.

After receiving the shot, I felt tons better and was told I could go home. The beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX was starting to organize my clothes and stuff when the post-op nurse girl said, "You still have some morphine left, would you like one for the road?" Well, since I had fallen madly in love with the nurse girl after the first shot and since I felt a whole lot like I was lying on a beach in the Caribbean at that particular moment, I said, "Hell yeah, why not?" At which point she went ahead and gave me the rest of the morphine that was in the syringe, pulled my IV and off I went.

On the way home, I convinced the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX to stop by the video store because I wanted to kick back and watch some damn movies because I felt so cool and awesome and didn't have to go back to work. She hesitated at first but then complied with my request. Anyhow, at the video store, I rented about 8 movies because they all looked so cool and awesome, got home, put a movie in the DVD thing, ordered some popcorn, watched about 2 minutes of the first movie, fell asleep on the couch, and slept for the next 16 hours at which time the movies were due back.

FAX
spent over a month in the hospital w/one of those timed morphine drip things attached to my iv. after a couple days i taped the button down, so i wouldn't have to keep pushing it.
one of the worst/best times in my life.
sec

Frosty
11-17-2011, 08:38 AM
Since my wisdom teeth came in sideways with extra long roots, I ended up having them out in my late 20's (they didn't come up 'til then). Other than making a complete fool of myself coming out of the anesthesia, it was a breeze.

Dartgod
11-17-2011, 08:49 AM
Generally I would recommend against ANY suction in one's mouth for a while.

NTTIAWWT

GordonGekko
11-17-2011, 09:32 AM
Wisdom teeth, what is their purpose?

WhiteWhale
11-17-2011, 09:43 AM
I only had 2 wisdom teeth in my mouth. My jaw is small so the two on the top never formed.

The two on the bottom were so impacted that the oral surgeon kept joking about it as he was trying to pull out all these itsy bitsy tiny fragments. He'd never seen teeth wedged in a jaw quite so tight.

My stitches came out less than an hour after I got home.

I smoked as much as I wanted to, I was simply gentle about it.

I was eating steak by day 4.

It wasn't bad at all. Maybe it's because I only had 2, but people always tell me it's the bottom ones that give you problems anyway.

Lzen
11-17-2011, 09:49 AM
Dude. The top ones are easy. The bottom ones blow ass. You do all the work with the bottom ones. They have roots down to your freaking toenails.

Expect to be abused much more if you ever get the bottom ones out.

Not trying to be a dick, just want you to be aware.

Yeah, they decided since the bottom ones weren't sticking out (impacted?) and weren't bothering me, they wouldn't mess with them. Surgeon did say that they would be a lot more difficult and there's the possibility of damaging the nerves along the jaw line.

Brock
11-17-2011, 10:06 AM
The first several hours after the removal were pure hell, but after that not so much. Will you be able to take pain medication?

Dayze
11-17-2011, 10:11 AM
got mine out in bootcamp. for some reason, when everyone else got theirs out in the early stages of bootcamp and were miserable for a few days, I was spared. Or so I thought. then about 4 days before graduation, I found out I needed them removed. I anticipated the same miserable experiences as my buddies, but they sent me to the hospital side of the base; put an IV in my hand, said it was going to feel 'cold' on my arm...then BAM, next thing you know I'm laying in a big comfy bed in a hospital room and a nurse is swapping out the gauze in my mouth.
don't remember a thing. I think I barely came to once, and I remember the guy above me yanking stuff out / my head moving around as he was prying away at the tooth. but, then I was back 'out' again. didn't feel anything.

don't remember any of it; and was eating pasta /pizza about 3 days later on liberty.

now...flying to Virginia Beach 5 days later s*******ed. the pressure of flying was a horrible pain.

BigRichard
11-17-2011, 10:16 AM
Hey Fax,

Good thing this didn't happen in the air. You would have been really screwed then.

FAX
11-17-2011, 10:42 AM
The first several hours after the removal were pure hell, but after that not so much. Will you be able to take pain medication?

I could if I wished, Mr. Brock.

Problem is, I'm not sure how I'd react to narcotics ... either physically or mentally. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I want to find out, either.

It's kind of a dilemma, actually.

FAX

JD10367
11-17-2011, 10:55 AM
Over 40. Never had mine out. They're semi-erupted through the gums and have always behaved themselves (knock on wood).

DaFace
11-17-2011, 11:55 AM
I had mine out and was eating normal food 12 hours later with no problems. However, mine just required pulling rather than surgery, and I'm told I was fairly atypical.

FAX
11-17-2011, 12:02 PM
I had mine out and was eating normal food 12 hours later with no problems. However, mine just required pulling rather than surgery, and I'm told I was fairly atypical.

I think you may have been very fortunate, Mr. DaFace.

The oral surgeon insurance lady told me that this was a deal where I am to be sedated via IV. Then, they use saws and blades and chisels and pliers and anything else they can get their hands on to rip my teeth out. I also get the honor of paying them about $500 per tooth plus a consultation fee. All in all, the entire plan sounds like a truckload of poop to me.

At this point, about the only thing I can do is pray that the Tooth Fairy I wind up with isn't the same one who hangs out with Mr. Buck on Saturday nights.

FAX

dmahurin
11-17-2011, 12:07 PM
All 4 of mine were removed in bootcamp as well. Literally had twelve shots in my gums. I'm convinced the doc had to put his foot on the chair while having a nurse hold my shoulders so he could get leverage on the bottom ones. Packed the holes, gave me a few cans of ensure and a pill bottle and sent me on my way. I was walking back to my barracks and a car pulled up next to me. (you're expected to run everywhere unless you have a sick chit, which I did.) A full bird jumps out the car and starts to chew my ass for not running, pauses, covers his mouth, says dear God under his breath, refuses to make eye contact and says carry on. So I was curious as to why he seemed so shocked and I looked down. My mouth was so numb I had drooled enough blood down the front of my shirt to look like I had just slaughtered a cow.

FAX
11-17-2011, 12:08 PM
All 4 of mine were removed in bootcamp as well. Literally had twelve shots in my gums. I'm convinced the doc had to put his foot on the chair while having a nurse hold my shoulders so he could get leverage on the bottom ones. Packed the holes, gave me a few cans of ensure and a pill bottle and sent me on my way. I was walking back to my barracks and a car pulled up next to me. (you're expected to run everywhere unless you have a sick chit, which I did.) A full bird jumps out the car and starts to chew my ass for not running, pauses, covers his mouth, says dear God under his breath, refuses to make eye contact and says carry on. So I was curious as to why he seemed so shocked and I looked down. My mouth was so numb I had drooled enough blood down the front of my shirt to look like I had just slaughtered a cow.

ROFL

Damn.

Thank you, Mr. dmahurin. Thank you for that.

FAX

4th and Long
11-17-2011, 12:33 PM
Wisdom teeth, what is their purpose?
It's thought that the Stone Age diet often consisted of coarse, rough foods that required more chewing power. As a result, the jawbones of our ancestors were larger and accommodated 32 teeth with ease. In addition, in the wild, teeth had a tendency to fall prey to decay or get knocked out. If someone lost a tooth, the wisdom teeth would usually push the rest forward to fill in the gap.

However, evolution continued and the human diet changed to include softer, more processed foods that were less challenging to our pearly whites and jaws. Losing teeth became less of an issue, and wisdom teeth served less and less of a purpose. Today, most of us don't have the need or room for these extra molars.

DaFace
11-17-2011, 12:35 PM
It's thought that the Stone Age diet often consisted of coarse, rough foods that required more chewing power. As a result, the jawbones of our ancestors were larger and accommodated 32 teeth with ease. In addition, in the wild, teeth had a tendency to fall prey to decay or get knocked out. If someone lost a tooth, the wisdom teeth would usually push the rest forward to fill in the gap.

However, evolution continued and the human diet changed to include softer, more processed foods that were less challenging to our pearly whites and jaws. Losing teeth became less of an issue, and wisdom teeth served less and less of a purpose. Today, most of us don't have the need or room for these extra molars.

http://uscerock.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/TheMoreYouKnow.jpg

WhiteWhale
11-17-2011, 12:41 PM
It's thought that the Stone Age diet often consisted of coarse, rough foods that required more chewing power. As a result, the jawbones of our ancestors were larger and accommodated 32 teeth with ease. In addition, in the wild, teeth had a tendency to fall prey to decay or get knocked out. If someone lost a tooth, the wisdom teeth would usually push the rest forward to fill in the gap.

However, evolution continued and the human diet changed to include softer, more processed foods that were less challenging to our pearly whites and jaws. Losing teeth became less of an issue, and wisdom teeth served less and less of a purpose. Today, most of us don't have the need or room for these extra molars.

People had less decay in ancient times actually as I understand it.

Tooth loss, however, probably was a problem. I mean a person today can have 10 cavities fixed and keep all their teeth. Back then one cavity would eventually cost you a tooth.

The tooth enamal was much stronger on people back then, largely because of the diet. Americans have good looking teeth because of dentists and hygiene, but the stuff we consume just destroys tooth enamel.

WhiteWhale
11-17-2011, 12:44 PM
I think you may have been very fortunate, Mr. DaFace.

The oral surgeon insurance lady told me that this was a deal where I am to be sedated via IV. Then, they use saws and blades and chisels and pliers and anything else they can get their hands on to rip my teeth out. I also get the honor of paying them about $500 per tooth plus a consultation fee. All in all, the entire plan sounds like a truckload of poop to me.

At this point, about the only thing I can do is pray that the Tooth Fairy I wind up with isn't the same one who hangs out with Mr. Buck on Saturday nights.

FAX

See, this is another thing. I paid pretty nice money to have a very good oral surgeon do my work.

All he did was cut in, drill some holes, then use a prying tool to break it into pieces. I felt nothing and I was totally high from the gas.

Iowanian
11-17-2011, 12:48 PM
I've had my wisdom teeth cut and pulled, just a local and no pain pills(got them, just can't take them).
I didn't think it was nearly as big of a deal as others have let on, other than having stitches pop on the way home.


Last winter I cracked a tooth from top down to a root. It was thumping pain when I bit into something or touched my teeth together in conversation or sleep and would just thump to my soul for half an hour afterwards. When I went to the oral surgeon to have it pulled, I got the shot, he did everything but climb on my chest, wiggling, jiggling and I felt every bit of it....but tried to tough it out because I thought he "HAD to be about done" he finally climbed off and I said "wow...that was way worse than last time"...and he looked at me and said uh.....we're just getting started.

An hour later, it finally came out.

He called it a "hot tooth" and no matter how many shots I got, it wouldn't go numb. I felt him figure 8 it, dig the gum, clamp on the pliers....I felt him cut and break the tooth into 4 pieces....I felt him snip the roots and the nerve.

Holy shit....It was not fun. Not fun at all.

He said typically they'd have put a patient under once it was "hot" but didn't have the room available, so I got to take it like a man.

Holy shit......Holy shit that sucked and I've experienced enough medical and dental suck to know what sucks.

OnTheWarpath58
11-17-2011, 12:56 PM
I had 4 cut out when I was 18. Was knocked out for the procedure.

The first hour was the worst for me, because I swallowed a good amount of blood, which I promptly threw up once I woke up. Which isn't real fun to begin with, much less when your mouth is full of stitches.

Otherwise, just make sure to take extremely good care of the sockets after. I was given a hook-like syringe and a solution to clean out the sockets after eating.

It's not the worst thing I've ever gone through, but it wasn't much fun either.

FAX
11-17-2011, 01:14 PM
I've had my wisdom teeth cut and pulled, just a local and no pain pills(got them, just can't take them).
I didn't think it was nearly as big of a deal as others have let on, other than having stitches pop on the way home.


Last winter I cracked a tooth from top down to a root. It was thumping pain when I bit into something or touched my teeth together in conversation or sleep and would just thump to my soul for half an hour afterwards. When I went to the oral surgeon to have it pulled, I got the shot, he did everything but climb on my chest, wiggling, jiggling and I felt every bit of it....but tried to tough it out because I thought he "HAD to be about done" he finally climbed off and I said "wow...that was way worse than last time"...and he looked at me and said uh.....we're just getting started.

An hour later, it finally came out.

He called it a "hot tooth" and no matter how many shots I got, it wouldn't go numb. I felt him figure 8 it, dig the gum, clamp on the pliers....I felt him cut and break the tooth into 4 pieces....I felt him snip the roots and the nerve.

Holy shit....It was not fun. Not fun at all.

He said typically they'd have put a patient under once it was "hot" but didn't have the room available, so I got to take it like a man.

Holy shit......Holy shit that sucked and I've experienced enough medical and dental suck to know what sucks.

Again, thank you ever so much, Mr. Iowanian.

I wish I were half the stud you apparently are. I don't tell people this, but I have a lifelong, irrational fear of dentistry. I seriously hate the drills and the shots and the grinders and the fingers in my mouth ... the whole bit (no pun intended ... or even attempted). It's an irrational phobia, I know ... yet a mysteriously powerful aversion the source of which is as yet unknown to me. That's why I brush and floss and rinse and only speak words of truth and peace and love ... so I can avoid all that stuff.

However, stories like yours are enormously calming. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy dentistry anecdotes that feature blood, pain, and lots of yanking and cutting and digging.

FAX THE SWEATING FROM THE EYEBALLS

seclark
11-17-2011, 01:19 PM
my dentist gives me a script for 1 valium to take before a visit. she's also a babe. it still scares me to death to walk in that office.
sec

Buck
11-17-2011, 01:20 PM
FAX, I'd imagine the pain you felt initially is very similar to a dry socket.

If you get a dry socket, that shit takes weeks to close up (did for me anyway), so you'll pretty much feel that same pain for weeks.

Seriously, don't suck on anything at all. Eat plenty of yogurt and soup and just put that shit on your tongue and let it slide down your gullet.

Iowanian
11-17-2011, 01:25 PM
Fax,

I understand.
My childhood dentist was a country kook and I thought dentistry was essentially supposed to hurt.

I've spent years nervous in the dentist chair, I always tell them I'll try to be a brave little trooper. I'm getting much better, but I always tense up terribly during the shots...and it never hurts as badly as I'm bracing myself to endure.

I think it's just the idea, the sounds, the smells we associate with it and the potential out of nowhere blinding zinger you can get.....but its not usually as bad as we work ourselves up to be.

Be a brave little trooper, you'll be fine and like my dad always said when we did something stupid

"It will feel better when it quits hurting".[dadowanian]

FAX
11-17-2011, 01:25 PM
my dentist gives me a script for 1 valium to take before a visit. she's also a babe. it still scares me to death to walk in that office.
sec

I like that idea ... my dentist has never offered me a valium. I think he thinks I'm a pussy. Also, he is not a babe. He is a fat man with a bald head and a repertoire of really bad jokes.

I shall, upon my next visit, ask him to start shelling out the stress reducers and consider a diet and sex change.

FAX

Iowanian
11-17-2011, 01:27 PM
I got the gas about half way through the previous proceedure.


It was worth every one of those $80 to use the mask.


that reminds me, I was going to see if I can get a tank of that for the office.

Iowanian
11-17-2011, 01:29 PM
I've seen more than 1 person pull teeth out with pliers, so we're obviously just being wimps and need a shot of tequila and some needle nose to make these issues go away.

seclark
11-17-2011, 01:29 PM
I like that idea ... my dentist has never offered me a valium. I think he thinks I'm a pussy. Also, he is not a babe. He is a fat man with a bald head and a repertoire of really bad jokes.

I shall, upon my next visit, ask him to start shelling out the stress reducers and consider a diet and sex change.

FAX

actually the valium was her suggestion. i think she felt sorry for me shaking and whimpering like a dog shitting peach seeds. makes it easier for her to do her job. knocks the air out of my chub, too.
sec

Rausch
11-17-2011, 01:34 PM
actually the valium was her suggestion.

Uh huh...

TrebMaxx
11-17-2011, 01:37 PM
I had four wisdom teeth. Back in my early 20's the two on the left side of my face were removed by a wicked right. Don't really remember much of it since I was knocked the hell out right at the same time, so there wasn't any pain during the removal. I didn't have any problems with dry socket even though I had to consume my meals through a straw for the next six weeks. Just another option for you Mr. Fax. Do you have a boxing club or MMA center nearby? Or you could possibly just go to some dive bar with a really big, mean looking clientele.

Lzen
11-17-2011, 01:45 PM
I like that idea ... my dentist has never offered me a valium. I think he thinks I'm a pussy. Also, he is not a babe. He is a fat man with a bald head and a repertoire of really bad jokes.

I shall, upon my next visit, ask him to start shelling out the stress reducers and consider a diet and sex change.

FAX

I think my dentist gave me a script for valium. Honestly, I didn't remember what it was and thought she had said to take it before I came in. So I did. Lol. They said I probably should not have driven in after taking that. Oops. So, I called the wife to have her pick me up after the procedure. I was pretty calm during, though. Even with the oral surgeon with the pliers in the back of my mouth rocking the teeth back and forth and I can hear the sound of grinding. It was weird but not too bad.

Lzen
11-17-2011, 01:46 PM
actually the valium was her suggestion. i think she felt sorry for me shaking and whimpering like a dog shitting peach seeds. makes it easier for her to do her job. knocks the air out of my chub, too.
sec

ROFL

pr_capone
11-17-2011, 01:50 PM
Had all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled out at about 25/26. the first 48 hours were pure and unadulterated pain. On top of the throbbing, I had my mouth packed full of gauze because the bastard holes would not stop bleeding.

Doc first gave me a script for lortab 5mg which I promptly told him to shove up his ass. He relented and gave me percocet instead which doesn't make me feel like I'm gonna hurl up my last 5 meals.

The worst part was about 2 weeks later when I felt a scraping along my cheek. Apparently he had broken up the tooth but failed to extract a somewhat sizeable piece. There was enough of it showing that I was able to hook a fingernail behind it and just ripped it out. I then packed up the wound and 24 hrs later I was right as rain.

Best of luck Fax... this is not going to be a pleasant experience.

RockChalk
11-17-2011, 02:55 PM
Damn..you all have some crazy stories

Had mine (only had 3) cut out when I was 21/22. Everything was fine the first few days, then I caved and had a sandwich. Apparently I didn't get everything cleaned, ended up with a dry socket. Surgeon packed it with gauze and I was back to normal a few days later.

Chocolate Hog
11-17-2011, 04:05 PM
Why are wisdom teeth worse than any other tooth getting pulled?

Brock
11-17-2011, 04:36 PM
Why are wisdom teeth worse than any other tooth getting pulled?

For most people, they probably aren't. Mine were growing in wrong, so they had to go in and chisel them out.

cabletech94
11-17-2011, 04:51 PM
good luck FAX with your future endeavors and such.

had mine (4) out at the same time at age 19. just in time for 2nd semester college finals. i don't remember being on any pain killers or meds. back then i was tough as asbestos siding. now, i can't start a thread without talking about how awful my recent 'scope on my knee was.
if (when) you do go with your procedure, the cleverest thing i remember doing was heating up a wet washcloth in the microwave for like 30 seconds. putting cloth on one side of jaw, and then rotating (the cycle, not my ass).
also, i used the hell out of the gauze that was given, as that helped with the bleeding and such. also, i hear dry sockets are horrible. the gauze can help prevent it. also, no straws, and no smoking while your healing. as those 2 are some of the worst things that can happen (in causing the sockets of dryness).

bite me if repost!!!!!


p.s. i was also playing softball along with the tests the next day, but then again, i used to be hella cool. good luck, pal!!

MOhillbilly
11-17-2011, 04:55 PM
I'll get em out Mr. Fax for half the price. The pain will double and secondary infection will probably kill you but its cheap.

Chocolate Hog
11-17-2011, 05:15 PM
For most people, they probably aren't. Mine were growing in wrong, so they had to go in and chisel them out.

Sounds painful. I had to get two teeth pulled do to an infection and the pain after the numbing stuff wore off was hell.

O.city
11-17-2011, 05:29 PM
The reason for the soreness with 3rd molars is that they are so far back in the mouth and have pretty big roots usually wrapped in the Inferior alveolar nerve on the Mandible.

I just extracted 6 teeth today in about 45 minutes. Another first, it was pretty cool.

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:15 PM
I'd feel a whole lot better about this deal if my dentist hadn't been crying a little when he broke the news to me. His dental assistant girl person (a very cute little brunette with a gorgeous smile and extremely firm, medium-sized tittahs) actually held my hand and stroked my head when he broke the news, too. I even think I heard a Three Days Grace ballad playing in the background.

FAX

which one?

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:18 PM
Once I had a molar with a root that went bad that they had to do a root canal on. Fine. About three months after that I was sitting at my desk eating soup, yes soup, and I fet a giant pop. That molar cracked right down the middle.

So back to the dentist I go. He says well darn, that's bad luck but it happens sometimes. It needs to come out. (did I mention the dentist terrifies me?) He's looking at the x-rays and says I don't think I want to attempt it. You have extra long roots and if I get in there that deep and you start bleeding I don't have the facilites here to stop it. :eek:

So he makes an appointment for me at an oral surgeon. Before I leave he says you know they'll give you the option of novacaine or putting you to sleep....if I were you I'd go to sleep.

Turns out his advice was better than his work. They put in an IV, flipped a switch, and the next thing I remembered I was sitting in a chair wating for my wife to drive me home.

Long story short, if you get the chance to be put out do it.

That is the only way they touch my teeth.

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:23 PM
I think you may have been very fortunate, Mr. DaFace.

The oral surgeon insurance lady told me that this was a deal where I am to be sedated via IV. Then, they use saws and blades and chisels and pliers and anything else they can get their hands on to rip my teeth out. I also get the honor of paying them about $500 per tooth plus a consultation fee. All in all, the entire plan sounds like a truckload of poop to me.

At this point, about the only thing I can do is pray that the Tooth Fairy I wind up with isn't the same one who hangs out with Mr. Buck on Saturday nights.

FAX

Black and Decker drill...

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:25 PM
I've had my wisdom teeth cut and pulled, just a local and no pain pills(got them, just can't take them).
I didn't think it was nearly as big of a deal as others have let on, other than having stitches pop on the way home.


Last winter I cracked a tooth from top down to a root. It was thumping pain when I bit into something or touched my teeth together in conversation or sleep and would just thump to my soul for half an hour afterwards. When I went to the oral surgeon to have it pulled, I got the shot, he did everything but climb on my chest, wiggling, jiggling and I felt every bit of it....but tried to tough it out because I thought he "HAD to be about done" he finally climbed off and I said "wow...that was way worse than last time"...and he looked at me and said uh.....we're just getting started.

An hour later, it finally came out.

He called it a "hot tooth" and no matter how many shots I got, it wouldn't go numb. I felt him figure 8 it, dig the gum, clamp on the pliers....I felt him cut and break the tooth into 4 pieces....I felt him snip the roots and the nerve.

Holy shit....It was not fun. Not fun at all.

He said typically they'd have put a patient under once it was "hot" but didn't have the room available, so I got to take it like a man.

Holy shit......Holy shit that sucked and I've experienced enough medical and dental suck to know what sucks.

He would not have left the room if it was me...

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:34 PM
Again, thank you ever so much, Mr. Iowanian.

I wish I were half the stud you apparently are. I don't tell people this, but I have a lifelong, irrational fear of dentistry. I seriously hate the drills and the shots and the grinders and the fingers in my mouth ... the whole bit (no pun intended ... or even attempted). It's an irrational phobia, I know ... yet a mysteriously powerful aversion the source of which is as yet unknown to me. That's why I brush and floss and rinse and only speak words of truth and peace and love ... so I can avoid all that stuff.

However, stories like yours are enormously calming. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy dentistry anecdotes that feature blood, pain, and lots of yanking and cutting and digging.

FAX THE SWEATING FROM THE EYEBALLS

Try growing up with a dentist that was brought up on child abuse charges for his lack of care for kids, lack of pain meds/gas and no bedside matter. My parents where poor and I had bad teeth from the get go. I hate dentists and doctors both with a passion because of my early childhood. Dentists more than doctors but not by much.

DenverDanChiefsFan
11-17-2011, 06:42 PM
Yesterday was a typical example of early fall in Nashville. I awoke with the sun, brimming with anticipation that the coming day would be replete with happiness, peace, and an array of joyous wonders to explore. I walked to the kitchen, toasted a cinnamon raisin bagel, and made myself a pot of fresh, Starbucks French Roast coffee. Then, as I took the first sip, I was suddenly rocked with a pain so intense (reminiscent of a red-hot paring knife being repeatedly jammed into my right ear) that I fell to my knees in the throes of indescribable agony.

I began praying that God, in his infinite mercy, would take my life. But, instead, He guided my hands to the telephone and somehow gave me the strength to dial my dentist.

"In the name of all that's holy," says I to the girl who answered, "send someone over right away with a gun to shoot me."

"Gladly, Mr. FAX," the girl replied. "In the meantime, would you like to make an appointment?"

"If I have to drive over there, I will surely kill the first person I see," says I, "but if you're willing to risk it, so am I."

A half-hour later and after paperwork, seating assignments, and x-rays were completed, the dentist informed me that one of my wisdom teeth had deteriorated to the point that the nerve was exposed. He then stated that he had already contacted an oral surgeon in order that all four of my wisdom teeth could be forcibly removed from my skull.

I am now scheduled to have my wisdom teeth cut out of my head on the 28th of the month and am told that the recovery period will last somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 to 5 days due to bleeding, pain, blindness, aneurysms, uncontrollable flatulence, and other possible complications far too numerous to mention. Not only that, but the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX has to be there so that someone can claim the body should I die during the procedure.

Damn it to hell. And I brush and floss and everything.

FAXMy dentist as a kid only removed one of my wisdom teeth. Led to some problems a couple of years ago so my current dentist recommended I have the other 3 removed. Everything was great until a couple days later I felt (what I thought) was a little piece of tooth.

Being the dumbass that I am, I figured I could just pull it out myself. Everytime I pulled on it there was a shooting pain acros my entire head. Couldn't just do it once, even got pliers and tried to pull it out.

Ends up, the roots of one of the wisdom teeth had wrapped around the jaw bone. When they pulled the tooth it broke my jawbone and the end of had cut through my gum and was sticking out.

So, long story short Mr. Fax, if you feel a piece of bone sticking out of your gum, don't try to remove it yourself. :doh!:

bevischief
11-17-2011, 06:47 PM
My dentist as a kid only removed one of my wisdom teeth. Led to some problems a couple of years ago so my current dentist recommended I have the other 3 removed. Everything was great until a couple days later I felt (what I thought) was a little piece of tooth.

Being the dumbass that I am, I figured I could just pull it out myself. Everytime I pulled on it there was a shooting pain acros my entire head. Couldn't just do it once, even got pliers and tried to pull it out.

Ends up, the roots of one of the wisdom teeth had wrapped around the jaw bone. When they pulled the tooth it broke my jawbone and the end of had cut through my gum and was sticking out.

So, long story short Mr. Fax, if you feel a piece of bone sticking out of your gum, don't try to remove it yourself. :doh!:

That sounds like a lawsuit.

Iowanian
11-17-2011, 08:05 PM
He would not have left the room if it was me...

"I know this sucks and we'd normally go ahead and put someone out, but there is no room to do that, and we're far enough along it HAS to come out now"


I felt like I'd been in a fight. Every time they stopped to do something else, I'd wiggle into the seat and grab tight and take a deep breath like I was getting ready to turn a bull out of the gate. It was definitely one of my life tests of endurance.

Frankie
11-17-2011, 08:19 PM
Enough about your trip to Penn State to meet the coaching staff. How was the dentistry?ROFL

I could if I wished, Mr. Brock.

Problem is, I'm not sure how I'd react to narcotics ... either physically or mentally. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I want to find out, either.

It's kind of a dilemma, actually.

FAX

This from a musician? Color me impressed.

Buehler445
11-17-2011, 08:33 PM
I could if I wished, Mr. Brock.

Problem is, I'm not sure how I'd react to narcotics ... either physically or mentally. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I want to find out, either.

It's kind of a dilemma, actually.

FAX

Don't do it. The pain isn't that horrid. I'd hate for you to have problems.

FAX
12-02-2011, 02:46 AM
The very best thing about getting your wisdom teeth yanked out of your jawbone by some hack with a parchment is that, after the actual hideous and horrendous surgical procedure has been completed, you can have all the ice cream that you want. The doctor even said so.

As a result, the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX returned from the market the other day with a half dozen pints of ice creams in a wide selection of flavors. I, FAX, can now declare and affirm without equivocation, hesitation, or any problemation whatsoever, that Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream is the best damn store-bought ice cream of all times.

I shall now eat Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream every day forever and plan to invent a whole bunch of new recipes featuring Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream including Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream pie, Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream parfaits, Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream lasagna, and Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream stew featuring Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream.

Thank you for your continued support.

FAX

TrickyNicky
12-02-2011, 05:25 AM
Right after you get home, put a black tea bag in your cheek, and let it sit there for the first hour. Helps with the clotting. You may have to lean over the sink to drain every now and then, but it did seem to help me.

FAX
12-02-2011, 05:30 AM
Right after you get home, put a black tea bag in your cheek, and let it sit there for the first hour. Helps with the clotting. You may have to lean over the sink to drain every now and then, but it did seem to help me.

They gave me a bunch of gauze ... my mouth was stuffed with gauze and they gave me more. Then, according to the Official Post-Op Laws Of Confoundedness, I am supposed to replace the gauze every 30 minutes to an hour. There was a lot of blood yesterday, though. Not so much today.

How does the black tea bag help? We have some black tea bags, I'm sure of it. If it will help, I'm down with it.

Right now, the swelling is the worst part, really. That and the gauze. And the blood. And the pain. And the regret.

FAX

Dartgod
12-02-2011, 06:41 AM
I, FAX, can now declare and affirm without equivocation, hesitation, or any problemation whatsoever, that Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream is the best damn store-bought ice cream of all times.
FAX

Pfffft!!

Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby FTMFW!

http://www.chiro-yoga.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Chubby-Hubby.jpg

seclark
12-02-2011, 07:07 AM
häagen-dazs strawberry cheesecake
sec

cabletech94
12-02-2011, 07:33 AM
They gave me a bunch of gauze ... my mouth was stuffed with gauze and they gave me more. Then, according to the Official Post-Op Laws Of Confoundedness, I am supposed to replace the gauze every 30 minutes to an hour. There was a lot of blood yesterday, though. Not so much today.

How does the black tea bag help? We have some black tea bags, I'm sure of it. If it will help, I'm down with it.

Right now, the swelling is the worst part, really. That and the gauze. And the blood. And the pain. And the regret.

FAX

remember no straws. no matter what! ben and jerry's FTMFW!!!!!!! (wish i'd been told i.c. was good)

Frankie
12-02-2011, 10:20 AM
The very best thing about getting your wisdom teeth yanked out of your jawbone by some hack with a parchment is that, after the actual hideous and horrendous surgical procedure has been completed, you can have all the ice cream that you want. The doctor even said so.

As a result, the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX returned from the market the other day with a half dozen pints of ice creams in a wide selection of flavors. I, FAX, can now declare and affirm without equivocation, hesitation, or any problemation whatsoever, that Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream is the best damn store-bought ice cream of all times.

I shall now eat Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream every day forever and plan to invent a whole bunch of new recipes featuring Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream including Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream pie, Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream parfaits, Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream lasagna, and Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream stew featuring Haagen Dazs Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream.

Thank you for your continued support.

FAX

Mr. FAX,

Congratulations on the successful removal of the wisdom teeth. It seems, reading this very post, that my fear of you losing your wisdom as a result was quite unfounded.