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View Full Version : Football So I'm sitting at the bar the other day and a woman


Nzoner
11-24-2011, 09:20 AM
and her husband are having a drink with us and the conversation is about football.

The woman proceeds to say something like,"well there will be no football on in our home on Thanksgiving." :eek:

Myself and a few others practically choke on our drink and the man sensing his balls being stuffed in his wife's bag speaks up and says,"well with 6 tv's in the house it'll be on at least one."

The woman as she's stuffing the guy's balls further in her bag responds,"then it'll be the one in the bathroom."

Then someone else cracked,"I hope it's a big bathroom."

So just curious what is the policy in your home on Thanksgiving?Does the little lady control the remote or do you?

FAX
11-24-2011, 09:21 AM
I don't know whether to feel sorry for that guy or laugh at him.

That's just crazy sad.

FAX

Pablo
11-24-2011, 09:23 AM
Poor bastard.

Football is on in whatever household I may visit.

I have three T'Givings this year. Gonna get fat an' shit.

BoneKrusher
11-24-2011, 09:23 AM
I don't know whether to feel sorry for that guy or laugh at him.

That's just crazy sad.

FAX

Yeah
we all know who wears the Pants at his house.

burt
11-24-2011, 09:25 AM
So I'm sitting at the bar the other day


noooo, YOU were sitting at a bar??..............
:pROFL

Pablo
11-24-2011, 09:25 AM
WTF else is there to watch on Thanksgiving?

If not football, no TV should even be on.

burt
11-24-2011, 09:26 AM
Yeah
we all know who wears the Pants at his house.

but if he behaves, she might let him into them......

Bwana
11-24-2011, 09:26 AM
Wow, that's just sad, on so many levels. :shake:

Nzoner
11-24-2011, 09:28 AM
I don't know whether to feel sorry for that guy or laugh at him.

That's just crazy sad.

FAX

Mr Fax have you seen some of these recent tv ads,the one where the guy is at McD's and the voice over says something about think over your response about his s/o's question on football or the poor bastard who changes the phones and his mrs berates the hell out of him for spending money and not asking her?

Crazy sad as well,a full on attack on men by the media. :)

L.A. Chieffan
11-24-2011, 09:28 AM
twilight zone marathon bitches!

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 09:28 AM
Saying no football is like saying no turkey. Sorry. There's just no discussion. I understand not wanting it at the dinner table or something, but not in the house? Outrageous.

luv
11-24-2011, 09:29 AM
but if he behaves, she might let him into them......

I'm sensing that someone other than you wears the pants in your house.

dannybcaitlyn
11-24-2011, 09:30 AM
I'm king of the castle in my home. My wife knew when she said "I Do" that she was marrying me and my love for football.

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 09:31 AM
but if he behaves, she might let him into them......

If "behaves" means no football on Thanksgiving then she might as well throw a deadbolt on that thing cause it's not happening.

burt
11-24-2011, 09:31 AM
I'm sensing that someone other than you wears the pants in your house.

duh. But since we are in Fla., she wears the shorts......

BoneKrusher
11-24-2011, 09:31 AM
but if he behaves, she might let him into them......

...and that's the rest of the story.:thumb:

burt
11-24-2011, 09:32 AM
If "behaves" means no football on Thanksgiving then she might as well throw a deadbolt on that thing cause it's not happening.

he'll have lots of bathroom time.

OnTheWarpath58
11-24-2011, 09:33 AM
The only time the TV is not on and tuned to football is while the MIL says grace.

Bane
11-24-2011, 09:33 AM
She likes for me to eat at the table with everyone then I am free to watch the games in any room in the house.She's a Dallas fan (:bang::bang::bang:) so she also likes to watch turkey day football.Even if she didn't I have 2 tv's out in my garage/reloading factory so it's all good for daddy.

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 09:34 AM
The only time the TV is not on and tuned to football is while the MIL says grace.

WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS, MAN!?!?!

Nzoner
11-24-2011, 09:35 AM
Saying no football is like saying no turkey. Sorry. There's just no discussion. I understand not wanting it at the dinner table or something, but not in the house? Outrageous.

WTF is a dinner table,we eat about the time halftime of game one is over and my butt is in my recliner with a nice sturdy tv tray,all the thanksgiving fixins on it and tuned in to the big screen.

burt
11-24-2011, 09:36 AM
WTF is a dinner table,we eat about the time halftime of game one is over and my butt is in my recliner with a nice sturdy tv tray,all the thanksgiving fixins on it and tuned in to the big screen.

and DYI network on the other 18 tv's?ROFL

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 09:38 AM
WTF is a dinner table,we eat about the time halftime of game one is over and my butt is in my recliner with a nice sturdy tv tray,all the thanksgiving fixins on it and tuned in to the big screen.

I do that now, but with my family back in Missouri, my Thanksgiving is a gathering of friends. I know back home there is no way in hell that's happening.

KC Tattoo
11-24-2011, 09:40 AM
"So I'm sitting at the bar the otherday...."


Oh it's a joke parady, good one. LMAO

For a second thought it was a true story.

Baconeater
11-24-2011, 09:42 AM
The only time the TV is not on and tuned to football is while the MIL says grace.
Yeah, same here when we've done the formal family dinners, and we usually left it off while we ate. That was family time, but outside of that it was GAME ON.

BoneKrusher
11-24-2011, 09:52 AM
WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS, MAN!?!?!

it seems he's got a Vagina. ROFL

Baconeater
11-24-2011, 09:54 AM
Really though, that being her policy is one thing, but she deserves to be kicked in the gunt for emasculating him like that in front of other men in a bar.

philfree
11-24-2011, 10:00 AM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fl86lqm-CaM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Reminds me of this. What a loser.

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 10:02 AM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fl86lqm-CaM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Reminds me of this. What a loser.

The weird thing is that commercial seems to be targeting men. What man relates to that? I doubt even whipped guys think of themselves that way.

dirk digler
11-24-2011, 10:03 AM
I have to go to my fiance's family every Thanksgiving and they don't watch football at all. It sucks.

pr_capone
11-24-2011, 10:07 AM
My wife is likely the one to turn on the game today.

/my wife rocks

BoneKrusher
11-24-2011, 10:11 AM
My wife is likely the one to turn on the game today.

/my wife rocks

Thats cool man. :thumb:

Baconeater
11-24-2011, 10:13 AM
I have to go to my fiance's family every Thanksgiving and they don't watch football at all. It sucks.
That's messed up. If they're not into football that's fine, but IMO when you have guests in your home it's your obligation to do what you can to see that they enjoy themselves.

hometeam
11-24-2011, 10:14 AM
I dont think there is any question that football rules the day on thanksgiving.

FAX
11-24-2011, 10:17 AM
Really though, that being her policy is one thing, but she deserves to be kicked in the gunt for emasculating him like that in front of other men in a bar.

Yeah ... that's actually the worst part.

It's like spontaneous Succubus-tion.

A double dip cone of where's-your-dick.

FAX

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 10:17 AM
That's messed up. If they're not into football that's fine, but IMO when you have guests in your home it's your obligation to do what you can to see that they enjoy themselves.

Absolutely. Football on Thanksgiving is not some niche interest thing. It's a time-teseted tradition.

dirk digler
11-24-2011, 10:21 AM
That's messed up. If they're not into football that's fine, but IMO when you have guests in your home it's your obligation to do what you can to see that they enjoy themselves.

You would think. The bad part is their family rotates Thanksgiving every year but none of them even turn on the TV. LMAO I shit you not.

I am just thankful I have a phone that at least I can keep up on the scores and I am really happy there is a night Thanksgiving game that I can watch when I get home.

Hope everyone enjoys the games today I am headed off to Springfield

Groves
11-24-2011, 10:22 AM
This thread has that self-fulfilling prophecy type feel. Not too many guys posting, "That's me. I'm whipped."

I assume this couple you saw was in the engagement phase of life? Did you buy his drink? Poor fella.

DaFace
11-24-2011, 10:22 AM
This makes me sad. To me, football is as much a Thanksgiving tradition as turkey. Thanksgiving is the time for everyone to eat a shit ton of food, then half pass out on the couch while digesting and watching football, then go back for turkey sandwiches later in the day. Anything less is just unacceptable.

2bikemike
11-24-2011, 10:23 AM
Unfortunately there will be no football in my home this thanksgiving either. But then again I am at work:p , Of course I will be watching. What would Thanksgiving be without Football.

Got the smoker going and cooking up some Tri-tip for my co-workers. After work I will get my turkey dinner at the inlaws. Not sure if B.I.L. will have the game on or not. I think S.I.L. carries his balls around in her bag.

FAX
11-24-2011, 10:26 AM
Mr Fax have you seen some of these recent tv ads,the one where the guy is at McD's and the voice over says something about think over your response about his s/o's question on football or the poor bastard who changes the phones and his mrs berates the hell out of him for spending money and not asking her?

Crazy sad as well,a full on attack on men by the media. :)

No ... I don't watch a lot of television any more, Mr. Nzoner. Not unless it's a cowboy movie or a rerun of The Rifleman ... I think Micah is a cool Marshal dude and Lucas kicks ass with his custom rifle.

The thing is, though, that popular media has been trying their best to emasculate American men for some time. I think about stuff like the way fathers are portrayed on shows like "The Simpsons" or the way guys are stereotyped in "Everybody Loves Raymond" and stuff like that.

Wherever you turn, men are portrayed as clueless dumbasses and women as sharp, witty, and clever. It's gotten a little better with "NCIS" and "Justified" and a few shows like that. But for awhile there, it was pretty sad.

I'm not the kind of guy who thinks a woman's place is in the kitchen making sandwiches, but I'm not crazy about prejudicial male psychological discrimination either.

Personally, I'll kick a woman square in the crotch faster than you can say "Hide The Tampon" if she tries to take over my life.

FAX

Nzoner
11-24-2011, 10:26 AM
I have to go to my fiance's family every Thanksgiving and they don't watch football at all. It sucks.

You poor bastard,even when the mrs and I was dating she knew to make sure if we were going to her sister's house etc. that football would be on before ever saying "we'd" be there.

Nzoner
11-24-2011, 10:29 AM
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fl86lqm-CaM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Reminds me of this. What a loser.

Exactly,I referred to it in post #9

MR FAX if you're reading this watch this commercial

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 10:32 AM
This thread has that self-fulfilling prophecy type feel. Not too many guys posting, "That's me. I'm whipped."

I assume this couple you saw was in the engagement phase of life? Did you buy his drink? Poor fella.

True, but I also have to think the percentage of poster on CP, while they may be whipped, are still allowed to watch football on Thanksgiving. That takes some serious dictatorship level she-dominance to pull off.

Buehler445
11-24-2011, 10:32 AM
Blasphemy.

Nzoner
11-24-2011, 10:34 AM
True, but I also have to think the percentage of poster on CP, while they may be whipped, are still allowed to watch football on Thanksgiving. That takes some serious dictatorship level she-dominance to pull off.

This makes me cringe even thinking about it.

R8RFAN
11-24-2011, 10:37 AM
When football is on and you don't like it you better find something to do

Nzoner
11-24-2011, 10:40 AM
Well I have to carve the turkey now,put it in a pan,cover it with foil and put on low heat until dinner time,no way I'm missing part of the game to carve with the guests here. :D

Groves
11-24-2011, 10:42 AM
True, but I also have to think the percentage of poster on CP, while they may be whipped, are still allowed to watch football on Thanksgiving. That takes some serious dictatorship level she-dominance to pull off.

Whipped is whipped.

It's like being pregnant, dude.

"allowed?" Do you hear yourself?

JoeyChuckles
11-24-2011, 10:43 AM
and her husband are having a drink with us and the conversation is about football.

The woman proceeds to say something like,"well there will be no football on in our home on Thanksgiving." :eek:

Myself and a few others practically choke on our drink and the man sensing his balls being stuffed in his wife's bag speaks up and says,"well with 6 tv's in the house it'll be on at least one."

The woman as she's stuffing the guy's balls further in her bag responds,"then it'll be the one in the bathroom."

Then someone else cracked,"I hope it's a big bathroom."

So just curious what is the policy in your home on Thanksgiving?Does the little lady control the remote or do you?

Fug dat. That must be a miserable existence, even with the sex.

kysirsoze
11-24-2011, 10:48 AM
Whipped is whipped.

It's like being pregnant, dude.

"allowed?" Do you hear yourself?

Yeah, I do. It's the difference between being 1 month pregnant and you can still get around and wear normal clothes vs. being 8 months in and big as a house. I'm not defending the whipped, just saying there are degrees. Most whipped guys I know still watch football on Thanksgiving.

Demonpenz
11-24-2011, 10:50 AM
I like football. It is fun game.

LiveSteam
11-24-2011, 10:54 AM
Lets me guess.
Her name is Jane. & she is an ignorant slut.
Am I right?

Predarat
11-24-2011, 11:03 AM
I am actually lucky and get to pick out one of the three games. If I try to sneak a peak at the other two i'm cock blocked until New Years Eve.

Bob Dole
11-24-2011, 11:25 AM
Sorry to hear that Mrs. Nzoner has finally laid down the law.

Nzoner
11-24-2011, 11:29 AM
Sorry to hear that Mrs. Nzoner has finally laid down the law.

LMAO

I got a Thanksgiving bird for you 4321

Happy Turkey Day....asshat

Bwana
11-24-2011, 11:29 AM
I am actually lucky and get to pick out one of the three games. If I try to sneak a peak at the other two i'm cock blocked until New Years Eve.

Dude! :shake:

FAX
11-24-2011, 11:31 AM
Whipped is whipped.

It's like being pregnant, dude.

"allowed?" Do you hear yourself?

Sounds like somebody needs to play "Hide The Tampon" with somebody.

You are quite correct, Mr. Nzoner. That commercial is a travesty. I am now going to pistol whip the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX forthwith on general principles.

FAX

The Iron Chief
11-24-2011, 11:36 AM
Its just plain tradition to have football on during the day.
I'll say lots of times its moving about socializing then back to the game/s.
With three games on now it would be hard to sit on the couch and yell get me a beer wench!..for the entire day ..wait that does not go over well on any given sunday but you know what I'm saying here.

Predarat
11-24-2011, 11:42 AM
Dude! :shake:I actually have an exception to the rule, if both the Chiefs and Titans play seperate games, I get to watch both games so its not as bad as it appears. That rarely happens though.

Bump
11-24-2011, 11:54 AM
I don't understand how a man could put up with that BS.

burt
11-24-2011, 11:55 AM
I don't understand how a man could put up with that BS.

good pussy.

Bump
11-24-2011, 12:11 PM
good pussy.

there's good pussy everywhere, bitches are replaceable.

SPchief
11-24-2011, 01:40 PM
good pussy.

There's no such thing as good enough pussy to have her litterally own your balls

The Iron Chief
11-24-2011, 01:42 PM
There's no such thing as good enough pussy to have her litterally own your balls

Unless the good pussy also comes with a skilled mouth.

Now that I think about it its still not worth losing ownership of your balls

BigMeatballDave
11-24-2011, 02:01 PM
Women who try to keep men from watching sports are just mean, selfish, cunts that should die in a fire.

DomerNKC
11-24-2011, 02:38 PM
my "good pussy" likes football as much as i do and would be pissed if it were not on the tv.

bevischief
11-24-2011, 02:42 PM
and her husband are having a drink with us and the conversation is about football.

The woman proceeds to say something like,"well there will be no football on in our home on Thanksgiving." :eek:

Myself and a few others practically choke on our drink and the man sensing his balls being stuffed in his wife's bag speaks up and says,"well with 6 tv's in the house it'll be on at least one."

The woman as she's stuffing the guy's balls further in her bag responds,"then it'll be the one in the bathroom."

Then someone else cracked,"I hope it's a big bathroom."

So just curious what is the policy in your home on Thanksgiving?Does the little lady control the remote or do you?

ROFL

bevischief
11-24-2011, 02:44 PM
I'm king of the castle in my home. My wife knew when she said "I Do" that she was marrying me and my love for football.

who are you?

bevischief
11-24-2011, 02:46 PM
WTF is a dinner table,we eat about the time halftime of game one is over and my butt is in my recliner with a nice sturdy tv tray,all the thanksgiving fixins on it and tuned in to the big screen.

I agree.

pr_capone
11-24-2011, 02:46 PM
I am actually lucky and get to pick out one of the three games. If I try to sneak a peak at the other two i'm cock blocked until New Years Eve.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads18/revoked_card1310742897.jpg

bevischief
11-24-2011, 02:47 PM
I have to go to my fiance's family every Thanksgiving and they don't watch football at all. It sucks.

Where are our balls??????????????

FAX
11-24-2011, 02:48 PM
By the way ...

... I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX all the stuff I said on this thread thing.

Thanks.

FAX

listopencil
11-24-2011, 03:01 PM
One of my favorite Thanksgiving memories was when Ron Dayne ripped off this huge run that sealed the deal for us. It happened when we were doing the "What I am thankful for" part at the beginning of the meal and it was my turn. Of course I said," I am thankful for..RON TOUCHDOWN DAYNE! FUCK YEAH!" I got the evil eye from the wife, my two sons cracked up. Two daughters just rolled their eyes and sighed. If it's not the Broncos, or a really good game, I watch it on and off depending on our eating schedule.

Predarat
11-24-2011, 03:09 PM
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploads18/revoked_card1310742897.jpg

Well you can go ahead and unrevoke it because I already watched the GB/DET game and i'm currently watching the next game and im going to watch the night game too. If I get cock blocked, i'll just find a slut on Craigslist to get me through.

Guru
11-24-2011, 03:10 PM
why would you even want to watch football today until tonights game. I'm fucking sick of being stuck with Detroit and Dallas every damn year.

Spott
11-24-2011, 03:18 PM
I'd be using her spleen for the stuffing.

jlscorpio
11-24-2011, 06:01 PM
WTF is wrong w/this bitch??? Turkey Day and Super sunday are the 2 days a year that people that can't even spell 69 toss power trap watch football. I woulda chop blocked her brom behind for that shit.

Lzen
11-24-2011, 06:10 PM
Never marry a bitch like that. Stupid guy.

Sandyskc
11-24-2011, 06:24 PM
I am the "Little Lady", I do control the remote, and there will ALWAYS be football on TV.

dirk digler
11-24-2011, 06:28 PM
Where are our balls??????????????

I still have my balls. We will be hosting Thanksgiving next year and the game will be on and my woman doesn't mind me watching football at all. I am just not going to go into somebody's else house and tell them to turn on the game.

BTW her family did actually turn on the TV this time but we had to watch the dog show on NBC. I shit you not lol

bevischief
11-24-2011, 06:33 PM
I still have my balls. We will be hosting Thanksgiving next year and the game will be on and my woman doesn't mind me watching football at all. I am just not going to go into somebody's else house and tell them to turn on the game.

BTW her family did actually turn on the TV this time but we had to watch the dog show on NBC. I shit you not lol

ROFLROFLROFL

I had the bar turn off the dog show after the parade.

Lzen
11-24-2011, 06:46 PM
This makes me sad. To me, football is as much a Thanksgiving tradition as turkey. Thanksgiving is the time for everyone to eat a shit ton of food, then half pass out on the couch while digesting and watching football, then go back for turkey sandwiches later in the day. Anything less is just unacceptable.

Sandwiches? Hell, we just had a 2nd full dinner. Earlier was with my family and tonight is with hers. I think I'm going to explode.

GloryDayz
11-24-2011, 06:55 PM
and her husband are having a drink with us and the conversation is about football.

The woman proceeds to say something like,"well there will be no football on in our home on Thanksgiving." :eek:

Myself and a few others practically choke on our drink and the man sensing his balls being stuffed in his wife's bag speaks up and says,"well with 6 tv's in the house it'll be on at least one."

The woman as she's stuffing the guy's balls further in her bag responds,"then it'll be the one in the bathroom."

Then someone else cracked,"I hope it's a big bathroom."

So just curious what is the policy in your home on Thanksgiving?Does the little lady control the remote or do you?


You should of gone Ndamukong Suh on her.... That'll learn her but good!!!

Lzen
11-24-2011, 07:00 PM
There's no such thing as good enough pussy to have her litterally own your balls

This all fucking day.

Lzen
11-24-2011, 07:09 PM
I still have my balls. We will be hosting Thanksgiving next year and the game will be on and my woman doesn't mind me watching football at all. I am just not going to go into somebody's else house and tell them to turn on the game.

BTW her family did actually turn on the TV this time but we had to watch the dog show on NBC. I shit you not lol

Dog show over football? WTF is wrong with these people?

RUN!! RUN NOW while you still can!

Okie_Apparition
11-24-2011, 07:09 PM
When she goes to the bathroom
YOu buy the house around
Leave & never look back

BigRock
11-24-2011, 07:27 PM
Guy has 6 TVs, including one in the bathroom, and we're acting like he's a punk? What kind of soul-crushing, ball-owning, pants-wearing dominator lets a guy have a TV in the bathroom?

That dude handles his business.

GloryDayz
11-24-2011, 07:32 PM
Guy has 6 TVs, including one in the bathroom, and we're acting like he's a punk? What kind of soul-crushing, ball-owning, pants-wearing dominator lets a guy have a TV in the bathroom?

That dude handles his business.

LOL, folks have been putting TVs in the bathroom for years... That's not new baby!!! And don't think it's for "him", it's for "her" to watch stupid shit while she's painting on the war paint for the day!! Yeah, it's a gem!! all i know is the DVD player in the setup serves as an awesome ready-service-spare!!

BigRock
11-24-2011, 08:10 PM
And don't think it's for "him", it's for "her" to watch stupid shit while she's painting on the war paint for the day!!
If it was hers, she wouldn't be suggesting that TV as the one for watching football.

Chiefaholic
11-24-2011, 08:12 PM
My Mother-In-Law tried to play that crap today when we arrived and my FIL told her to put the game on. She attempted to put on some dumbass dog show, then went to the kitchen to get something. Unfortunately for her, she laid the remote way too close to me when she got up. Too bad the Lions didn't bother to show up to play today, I thought that might have been a good game.

GloryDayz
11-24-2011, 08:33 PM
If it was hers, she wouldn't be suggesting that TV as the one for watching football.

So you think!!! Trust me...IT'S HER TV! She's just trying to be the woMAN and hold a brotha down!!

Predarat
11-24-2011, 08:42 PM
If bitches have a problem with football on Thanksgiving, well they know their place and should just stay there and it won't be a problem.