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Simply Red
11-25-2011, 06:06 PM
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/10-virtually-instant-ways-to-improve-your-life.html



10 virtually instant ways to improve your life

July 16 by Guest Author | 195 comments | Featured, Lifestyle | Tags: habit, improvement, life





Many of our problems come from within our own minds. They arenít caused by events, bad luck, or other people. We cause them through our own poor mental habits. Here are 10 habits you should set aside right away to free yourself from the many problems each one will be causing you.

The 10 ways:
Stop jumping to conclusions. There are two common ways this habit increases peopleís difficulties. First, they assume that they know what is going to happen, so they stop paying attention and act on their assumption instead. Human beings are lousy fortune-tellers. Most of what they assume is wrong. That makes the action wrong too. The second aspect of this habit is playing the mind-reader and assuming you know why people do what they do or what theyíre thinking. Wrong again, big time. More relationships are destroyed by this particular kind of stupidity than by any other.

Donít dramatize. Lots of people inflate small setbacks into life-threatening catastrophes and react accordingly. This habit makes mountains out of molehills and gives people anxieties that either donít exist or are so insignificant they arenít worth worrying about anyway. Why do they do it? Who knows? Maybe to make themselves feel and seem more important. Whatever the reason, itís silly as well as destructive.

Donít invent rules. A huge proportion of those ďoughtsĒ and ďshouldsĒ that you carry around are most likely needless. All that they do for you is make you feel nervous or guilty. Whatís the point? When you use these imaginary rules on yourself, you clog your mind with petty restrictions and childish orders. And when you try to impose them on others, you make yourself into a bully, a boring nag, or a self-righteous bigot.

Avoid stereotyping or labeling people or situations. The words you use can trip you up. Negative and critical language produces the same flavor of thinking. Forcing things into pre-set categories hides their real meaning and limits your thinking to no purpose. See whatís there. Donít label. Youíll be surprised at what you find.

Quit being a perfectionist. Life isnít all or nothing, black or white. Many times, good enough means exactly what it says. Search for the perfect job and youíll likely never find it. Meanwhile, all the others will look worse than they are. Try for the perfect relationship and youíll probably spend your life alone. Perfectionism is a mental sickness that will destroy all your pleasure and send you in search of what can never be attained.

Donít over-generalize. One or two setbacks are not a sign of permanent failure. The odd triumph doesnít turn you into a genius. A single eventógood or badóor even two or three donít always point to a lasting trend. Usually things are just what they are, nothing more.

Donít take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, arenít talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and donít especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, arenít personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

Donít assume your emotions are trustworthy. How you feel isnít always a good indicator of how things are. Just because you feel it, that doesnít make it true. Sometimes that emotion comes from nothing more profound than being tired, hungry, annoyed, or about to get a head-cold. The future wonít change because you feel badónor because you feel great. Feelings may be true, but they arenít the truth.

Donít let life get you down. Keep practicing being optimistic. If you expect bad things in your life and work, youíll always find them. A negative mind-set is like looking at the world through distorting, grimy lenses. You spot every blemish and overlook or discount everything else. Itís amazing what isnít there until you start to look for it. Of course, if you decide to look for signs of positive things, youíll find those too.

Donít hang on to the past. This is my most important suggestion of all: let go and move on. Most of the anger, frustration, misery, and despair in this world come from people clinging to past hurts and problems. The more you turn them over in your mind, the worse youíll feel and the bigger theyíll look. Donít try to fight misery. Let go and move on. Do that and youíve removed just about all its power to hurt you.









Adrian Savage is a writer, an Englishman, and a retired business executive, in that order, who now lives in Tucson, Arizona. You can read his other articles at Slow Leadership, the site for everyone who wants to build a civilized place to work and bring back the taste, zest and satisfaction to leadership and life. Recent articles there on similar topics include How to save yourself from being hooked again and Why fear of failure is the most common blockage to success. Adrianís latest book, Slow Leadership: Civilizing The Organization, is now available at all good bookstores.

Bowser
11-25-2011, 06:09 PM
Excellent advice, all of it.

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 06:15 PM
Excellent advice, all of it.

I'm going to work on this - read it daily, and obey it, not like a religion, but more like a mental workout.

threebag02
11-25-2011, 06:17 PM
You forgot throw out all your Moby music.

cabletech94
11-25-2011, 06:19 PM
can't. read. without. bulletpoints.


must. jump. to. conclusion.

tredadda
11-25-2011, 06:20 PM
11. Don't hope the Chiefs or Royals win a playoff game anytime soon.

Count Zarth
11-25-2011, 06:21 PM
Sign Kyle Orton.

KurtCobain
11-25-2011, 06:21 PM
You know what sr? So am I! I'm about to write this down on paper. Thankyou, bud.
Posted via Mobile Device

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 06:26 PM
You know what sr? So am I! I'm about to write this down on paper. Thankyou, bud.
Posted via Mobile Device

That's great. Thanks for the feedback,.

But srsly - glad you like it, Joey.

whoman69
11-25-2011, 06:27 PM
You have some rules to improve your life and one of them is don't invent rules.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thecheals/1142919298/in/photostream/

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 06:30 PM
You have some rules to improve your life and one of them is don't invent rules.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thecheals/1142919298/in/photostream/

It's really time you start leading with your heart, please.

headsnap
11-25-2011, 06:46 PM
#11. Stop wasting time on StumbleUpon.com.



:)

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 07:01 PM
#11. Stop wasting time on StumbleUpon.com

so critique Amazon from an appearance and 'user-friendly' standpt....

Good? Great website?

sd4chiefs
11-25-2011, 07:02 PM
All of these rules are broken everyday on the D.C. Forum.

Sure-Oz
11-25-2011, 07:04 PM
Excellent read

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 07:05 PM
All of these rules are broken everyday on the D.C. Forum.

here too, I'm, too guilty. I think we all are. It's a conscious 'awareness' as to HOW to simply excersize our kindness and patience, which if lacking can both lead to rage and lashing out. Just some interesting perspective. It'll certainly be a huge challenge for anyone attempting them, i'd imagine.

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 07:06 PM
I think it's critical thinking in the business world too, really.

gblowfish
11-25-2011, 07:08 PM
That's good advice.
BTW, you're fired. Your missed your last three car payments. Rent-A-Center is coming for your furniture and your TV. The clinic called, you have an STD. When your girlfriend finds out, she will dump you. Your ex-wife is garnishing your unemployment check for child support. Your cat has feline leukemia. Your mom and dad just took in your two kid brothers, and there's no more room in the basement.

Have a happy, optimistic life!

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 07:11 PM
That's good advice.
BTW, you're fired. Your missed your last three car payments. Rent-A-Center is coming for your furniture and your TV. The clinic called, you have an STD. When your girlfriend finds out, she will dump you. Your ex-wife is garnishing your unemployment check for child support. Your cat has feline leukemia. Your mom and dad just took in your two kid brothers, and there's no more room in the basement.

Have a happy, optimistic life!

I don't think this is you, but if it is, it's time for combat, George. ;)

notorious
11-25-2011, 07:32 PM
#1A Stop expecting sex after marriage.

Rain Man
11-25-2011, 08:14 PM
Even without reading it, this is garbage. This will ruin your life! As a rule, you should always avoid self-help lists. These are always compiled by those stupid east coast people. And I count at least two grammatical errors in the list anyway. Grammatical errors always mean that the content is useless. And by the way, is this targeted toward me personally? Because I have a bad feeling it is, and my hunches are always right. And I understand that I probably need it because I'm a big failure. I blame my parents for how they brought me up.

Baconeater
11-25-2011, 08:20 PM
Yeah I pretty much do all of those things.

Guru
11-25-2011, 08:25 PM
#1A Stop expecting sex after marriage.

whats that?

Spott
11-25-2011, 08:29 PM
Pick up a beer and start drinking right now and it will improve your life.

loochy
11-25-2011, 08:32 PM
11.) Stop being a Kansas City sports fan. It only leads to false hope and disappointment.

Dr. Facebook Fever
11-25-2011, 08:43 PM
Fantastic

RJ
11-25-2011, 09:18 PM
That post was aimed directly at me, wasn't it, SR?

You don't need to answer, I know exactly what you're thinking.

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 09:22 PM
let's HUNT!

lcarus
11-25-2011, 09:36 PM
For some weird reason, I don't think this list will instantly improve my life one god damned bit. Also, the author is inventing rules with this list, thus making me shoot chocolate milk out of my nose at #3. What if it makes me happy to stereotype people? What if I enjoy jumping to conclusions? I spent 20 dollars on my "jump to conclusions mat". If I follow most things on this list, will I just become an enlightened, free spirit douchebag? Possibly!

Setsuna
11-25-2011, 09:55 PM
Every single one of those said the exact same thing. How sad.

durtyrute
11-25-2011, 09:58 PM
thank you for sharing this list

Phobia
11-25-2011, 10:00 PM
I'm going to work on this - read it daily, and obey it, not like a religion, but more like a mental workout.

Don't try to take on all that at once. Just work on this one: Donít take things so personally. Most people, even your friends and colleagues, arenít talking about you, thinking about you, or concerned with you at all for 99% of the time. The majority of folk in your organization or neighborhood have probably never heard of you and donít especially want to. The ups and downs of life, the warmth and coldness of others, arenít personal at all. Pretending that they are will only make you more miserable than is needed.

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 10:03 PM
Don't try to take on all that at once. Just work on this one:

yep. got it.

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 10:08 PM
thank you for sharing this list

you bet.

Halfcan
11-25-2011, 10:35 PM
I pretty much don't do any of the things on the list. After years of reading self help books and following Anthony Robbins-I usually have a good attitude about life.

I am reading

Reinventing the body, resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra right now.

Very interesting stuff.

Simply Red
11-25-2011, 10:37 PM
I pretty much don't do any of the things on the list. After years of reading self help books and following Anthony Robbins-I usually have a good attitude about life.

I am reading

Reinventing the body, resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra right now.

Very interesting stuff.

I think this list is a good start, and not anything that could hurt, I'll read the reviews on your suggested book.

Halfcan
11-25-2011, 10:55 PM
I think this list is a good start, and not anything that could hurt, I'll read the reviews on your suggested book.

I think Any self help stuff comes down to just One Very easy principle. There is Right and there is Wrong. Most of the time it is twice as hard to do the Right thing-so most people try to put the tough choices into "gray" areas.

They take the Easy road only to have the guilt of a poor choice bite them in the ass at a later time.

You can turn on any media device and see Poor choices within 5 minutes of watching. The news Every night is filled with bad choices. Besides the completely insane-most of the people "knew" what they were doing-and did the dumb choice anyway.

Most of the Major poor choices get hidden behind "Corporations" and "Governments" where it is easy for people to hide and Not take responsibility for their actions that effect millions of people instantly.

Hog Farmer
11-26-2011, 02:06 AM
11. Stop thinking animals have feelings. They were put on earth for people to either eat or kill for fun. Nothing less.

12. Don't assume all animals like hand jobs. It's just not true . And thinking it is just clogs your mind with unneeded thoughts.

13. Antifreeze is made for drinking. Not for radiators.

evolve27
11-26-2011, 02:55 AM
You're an assuming asshole SR, j/k

Fritz88
11-26-2011, 04:25 AM
Great list bro. Thanks.
Posted via Mobile Device

notorious
11-26-2011, 06:35 AM
I pretty much don't do any of the things on the list. After years of reading self help books and following Anthony Robbins-I usually have a good attitude about life.

I am reading

Reinventing the body, resurrecting the Soul by Deepak Chopra right now.

Very interesting stuff.

I guess I am lucky. My parents raised so that I don't have any of the issues on the list.


I am a pretty happy guy until sometime between 12 to 3pm on Sunday.

notorious
11-26-2011, 06:38 AM
I think Any self help stuff comes down to just One Very easy principle. There is Right and there is Wrong. Most of the time it is twice as hard to do the Right thing-so most people try to put the tough choices into "gray" areas.

They take the Easy road only to have the guilt of a poor choice bite them in the ass at a later time.

You can turn on any media device and see Poor choices within 5 minutes of watching. The news Every night is filled with bad choices. Besides the completely insane-most of the people "knew" what they were doing-and did the dumb choice anyway.

Most of the Major poor choices get hidden behind "Corporations" and "Governments" where it is easy for people to hide and Not take responsibility for their actions that effect millions of people instantly.

This.

It's much easier living life honestly so that I can sleep at night. I know a few people that live a lie but they act happy when in reality they are miserable.

Hoover
11-26-2011, 06:39 AM
Great piece.

I basically do all of that and live a great stress free and fulfilling life.

I also get rid of people I hire who bring in those bad traits.

notorious
11-26-2011, 06:42 AM
Wow, if only there was a woman out there that didn't exhibit those traits.


This list IS about 95% of women.

Simply Red
12-02-2011, 07:36 AM
You forgot throw out all your Moby music.

http://tinyurl.com/7ozmqmp

loochy
12-02-2011, 07:42 AM
Wow, if only there was a woman out there that didn't exhibit those traits.


This list IS about 95% of women.

Heh, that's right. This list pretty much just says "be a man, not a woman."

SenselessChiefsFan
12-02-2011, 08:01 AM
11. Don't hope the Chiefs or Royals win a playoff game anytime soon.

I think hope is fine. Expect is setting yourself up for failure.

tecumseh
12-02-2011, 08:07 AM
So what am I supposed to do for fun?

Dayze
12-02-2011, 08:14 AM
11. Win the Lottery

Earthling
12-02-2011, 09:25 AM
11. Put on hog costume and hang around Hog Farmers place...;)

Earthling
12-02-2011, 09:29 AM
Actually not a bad assortment of principals listed here. The only thing is if you have a child you are kinda forced to do a lot of the things that are cautioned against.

vailpass
12-02-2011, 09:30 AM
[QUOTE=whoman69;8141059]You have some rules to improve your life and one of them is don't invent rules.
QUOTE]

LMAO

vailpass
12-02-2011, 09:32 AM
so critique Amazon from an appearance and 'user-friendly' standpt....

Good? Great website?


The best. I order Amazon regularly. If you have a student e-mail account you can get a year of Prime for free. My wife even knows my online shopping motto: "If it isn't Prime it isn't mine".

Hog Farmer
12-02-2011, 03:41 PM
11. Put on hog costume and hang around Hog Farmers place...;)

sorry, I'm onto that trick!

Start Croyle
12-03-2011, 11:01 AM
I think I already avoid most of the behaviors described in this link! I would say I am a pretty happy person too! The only one I do sometimes is the creation of the 'should' and 'ought' rules!

L.A. Chieffan
12-03-2011, 11:05 AM
I think I already avoid most of the behaviors described in this link! I would say I am a pretty happy person too! The only one I do sometimes is the creation of the 'should' and 'ought' rules!

you should try lithium, or maybe a diet coke

Simply Red
01-10-2012, 07:51 PM
I just wanted to bump this & I plan to from time to time. It seems to help to be reminded, otherwise it was worthless, originally, some weeks ago. & many of you find it worthless, regardless. ... And that's okay.

But the most helpful tip for me was/is; Regarding setting rules for your life, actually it points out for you to NOT set rules. This will cut back on some unnecessary guilt, you may normally experience.

Lumpy
01-10-2012, 08:01 PM
Good stuff here, SR! :thumb:

JoeyChuckles
01-10-2012, 08:25 PM
I just wanted to bump this & I plan to from time to time. It seems to help to be reminded, otherwise it was worthless, originally, some weeks ago. & many of you find it worthless, regardless. ... And that's okay.

But the most helpful tip for me was/is; Regarding setting rules for your life, actually it points out for you to NOT set rules. This will cut back on some unnecessary guilt, you may normally experience.

I read it the first time, and enjoyed it again the second time. The reminder helps. I guess I should save this somewhere.

Thanks.

Simply Red
01-10-2012, 09:11 PM
I read it the first time, and enjoyed it again the second time. The reminder helps. I guess I should save this somewhere.

Thanks.

great to hear! I'm glad.