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La literatura
12-21-2011, 10:14 AM
You know, those toilet like things that clean you with shots of water. You crouch down facing the handles and sprays your anus and other parts after you're done.

Pro: 1) Paperless; saves trees and the rainforest 2) . . . .?

Con: 1) Uses more water 2) Might take a while to get used to 3) TP companies lose business

Bwana
12-21-2011, 10:16 AM
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/24/spockorly.gif

Not only no, but hell no! Snap out of it Jenson!

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:17 AM
I dunno...who here has used one? I think that would be hard to get used to. I just imagine that it would spray your butt and make a mess of poop-mud or it might splash poop water all over the place.

seclark
12-21-2011, 10:17 AM
still gotta wipe your poopchute to dry it off don't you? don't see saving much paper.

sec

Douche Baggins
12-21-2011, 10:17 AM
Another fucking Tom thread.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:18 AM
I wonder how Jenson feels about this subject. Someone should ask him.

seclark
12-21-2011, 10:19 AM
also...is the water in those things heated, or cold?
sec

Sofa King
12-21-2011, 10:19 AM
I don't really feel like walking around with swamp ass all day from the water shooting up my ass, back and on to my pants.

lcarus
12-21-2011, 10:19 AM
I'm a big fan of baby wipes to be honest. Since my brother and his wife had their baby, I've been using their baby wipes whenever they're around. Makes you feel clean and fresh. Love em!

NewChief
12-21-2011, 10:19 AM
They don't actually use more water in the long run because they cut down on the need for showers. Let's face it: the real reason most of us need to get in the shower is to clean our asses and crotches. One of the reasons that many people in Europe shower less than in the US (other than them being filthy Frenchies) is that they use bidets to clean the necessaries instead of a full body shower.

FAX
12-21-2011, 10:20 AM
Where, pray tell, is the "Yes - more houses should include them. I have two." option, Mr. Literature?

The thing is that you can accomplish the same thing with a spray bottle and, after your business, simply spritz your ass for that fresh as a daisy squatting in the morning dew feeling.

FAX

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:22 AM
They don't actually use more water in the long run because they cut down on the need for showers.

They don't use more water because they ultimately reduce the amount of water that goes down the toilet.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:23 AM
Where, pray tell, is the "Yes - more houses should include them. I have two." option, Mr. Literature?

The thing is that you can accomplish the same thing with a spray bottle and, after your business, simply spritz your ass for that fresh as a daisy squatting in the morning dew feeling.

FAX

I don't think so. A spray from a spray bottle would only server to reconstitute the poop residue and dingleberries. It would be like a sort of "poop gravy mix". Not good.

bevischief
12-21-2011, 10:23 AM
I don't really feel like walking around with swamp ass all day from the water shooting up my ass, back and on to my pants.

ROFL

seclark
12-21-2011, 10:23 AM
don't know...it seems like a cold gush of water would not go over well w/my frank and beans.
sec

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:23 AM
They don't use more water because they ultimately reduce the amount of water that goes down the toilet.

So you won't flush anymore after you poop?

rageeumr
12-21-2011, 10:24 AM
Baby wipes FTMFW. I think public restrooms should be required by law to stock them. Baby wipe followed by a little TP to collect excess moisture....ahhhh fresh.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:24 AM
I think a bidet would be good if it was kind of like a car wash...you'd have an initial rinse, a soap cycle, then a rinse cycle, then a blow drying cycle, all followed by an air freshener.

La literatura
12-21-2011, 10:25 AM
still gotta wipe your poopchute to dry it off don't you? don't see saving much paper.

sec

From the little that I've read about it, I think the process is like this:

1) face the taps
2) turn the water on either hot or cold whichever you prefer
3) use your hand and soap amidst the water to wipe yourself clean
4) use a handtowel to dry yourself
5) refrain from masturbating in the bidet

NewChief
12-21-2011, 10:25 AM
I think a bidet would be good if it was kind of like a car wash...you'd have an initial rinse, a soap cycle, then a rinse cycle, then a blow drying cycle, all followed by an air freshener.

That's actually pretty common, now. Not the air freshener, but the rest.

jiveturkey
12-21-2011, 10:25 AM
I was always afraid of them until I visited Japan. It's a quite refreshing.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:25 AM
Baby wipes FTMFW. I think public restrooms should be required by law to stock them. Baby wipe followed by a little TP to collect excess moisture....ahhhh fresh.

I typically wipe with normal paper until there is no more poop skidding, then I give it a wipedown with a baby wipe, then I use normal paper to eliminate the wetness. High five for a clean butt!

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:25 AM
So you won't flush anymore after you poop?

You don't have to flush 2 or 3 times to get the ham-sized wad of toilet paper to go down.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:26 AM
That's actually pretty common, now. Not the air freshener, but the rest.

Oh really? Now that is pretty cool.

Discuss Thrower
12-21-2011, 10:26 AM
Squat-style toliet sez what's up.

ChiefsNow
12-21-2011, 10:26 AM
They would make nice self watering planter in the front yard, I would think. You could water, fertilize and wipe off on the plant leaves.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:26 AM
You don't have to flush 2 or 3 times to get the ham-sized wad of toilet paper to go down.

:hmmm: You may be using too much paper. Maybe try folding the paper over and using the same piece for multiple wipes (excluding the first super messy wipe).

La literatura
12-21-2011, 10:26 AM
Where, pray tell, is the "Yes - more houses should include them. I have two." option, Mr. Literature?

The thing is that you can accomplish the same thing with a spray bottle and, after your business, simply spritz your ass for that fresh as a daisy squatting in the morning dew feeling.

FAX

Shoot. I didn't even think about people here having one already.

NewChief
12-21-2011, 10:27 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan#Customization

Customization
Most high-tech toilets allow water temperature and water pressure to be adjusted to match the preferences of the user. By default, the vulva receives less pressure than the anus. Researchers in Japan have found that most users prefer a water temperature slightly above body temperature, with 38 °C considered optimal. The nozzle position can also often be manually adjusted forward or aft. High-end washlets allow selection of vibrating and pulsating jets of water, claimed by manufacturers to be beneficial for constipation and hemorrhoids.[11] The most advanced washlets can mix the water jet with soap for an improved cleaning process.
The washlet can replace toilet paper completely, but many users opt to use both wash and paper in combination—although use of paper may be omitted for cleaning of the vulva. Some wipe before washing, some wash before wiping, some wash only, and some wipe only—each according to his/her preference. Another frequent feature is a blow drier, often adjustable between 40 °C and 60 °C, used to dry the washed areas.[20]

Advanced features
Other features may include a heated seat, which may be adjustable from 30 °C to 40 °C; an automatic lid equipped with a proximity sensor, which opens and closes based on the location of the user.[5] Some play music to relax the user's sphincter (some Inax toilets, for example, play the first few phrases of Op. 62 Nr. 6 Frühlingslied by Felix Mendelssohn). Other features are automatic flushing, automatic air deodorizing, and a germ-resistant surface.[5][21][38] Some models specially designed for the elderly may include armrests and devices that help the user to stand back up after use. A soft close feature slows the toilet lid down while closing so the lid does not slam onto the seat, or in some models, the toilet lid will close automatically a certain time after flushing. The most recent introduction is the ozone deodorant system that can quickly eliminate smells. Also, the latest models store the times when the toilet is used and have a power-saving mode that warms the toilet seat only during times when the toilet is likely to be used based on historic usage patterns. Some toilets also glow in the dark or may even have air conditioning below the rim for hot summer days. Another recent innovation is intelligent sensors that detect someone standing in front of the toilet and initiate an automatic raising of the lid (if the person is facing away from the toilet) or the lid and seat together (if someone is facing the toilet).[5]
Text explaining the controls of these toilets tends to be in Japanese only. Although many of the buttons often have pictograms, the flush button is often written only in Kanji, meaning that non-Japanese users may initially find it difficult to locate the correct button.

Future developments
Recently, researchers have added medical sensors into these toilets, which can measure the blood sugar based on the urine, and also measure the pulse, blood pressure, and the body fat content of the user.[4][5] Talking toilets that greet the user have also started being made.[5] Other measurements are currently being researched. The data may automatically be sent to a doctor through a built-in internet-capable cellular telephone.[38] However, these devices are still very rare in Japan, and their future commercial success is difficult to predict. A voice-operated toilet that understands verbal commands is under development.[5] TOTO, NAIS, and other companies also produce portable, battery-operated travel washlets, which must be filled with warm water before use.

bevischief
12-21-2011, 10:28 AM
Can you even buy one in this country?

gblowfish
12-21-2011, 10:28 AM
MAJOR FAIL. This should be identified as a poop thread.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:28 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan#Customization

Wow. I am impressed with the cleanliness of Japanese naughty parts. I bet oral sex is popular there.

La literatura
12-21-2011, 10:28 AM
I think a bidet would be good if it was kind of like a car wash...you'd have an initial rinse, a soap cycle, then a rinse cycle, then a blow drying cycle, all followed by an air freshener.

Would an illegal immigrant or convicted felon do these for us?

seclark
12-21-2011, 10:29 AM
4) use a handtowel to dry yourself


nope. it's a "hand"towel...not asshole towel.

sec

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:29 AM
:hmmm: You may be using too much paper. Maybe try folding the paper over and using the same piece for multiple wipes (excluding the first super messy wipe).

So you're suggesting I wipe once and then turn that piece over so that the recently-used portion is TOUCHING MY HAND?!?!?!

gblowfish
12-21-2011, 10:30 AM
I just wipe on the drapes.




What?

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:30 AM
Would an illegal immigrant or convicted felon do these for us?

No. An illegal would try to smuggle some drugs up in there and, well, we all know what prisoners like to do.

NewChief
12-21-2011, 10:30 AM
Wow. I am impressed with the cleanliness of Japanese naughty parts. I bet oral sex is popular there.

They don't mind a little A2M there.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:30 AM
So you're suggesting I wipe once and then turn that piece over so that the recently-used portion is TOUCHING MY HAND?!?!?!

No you fold it over. LMAO It's an alternative to the "Wadding up" technique.

La literatura
12-21-2011, 10:31 AM
:hmmm: You may be using too much paper. Maybe try folding the paper over and using the same piece for multiple wipes (excluding the first super messy wipe).

I can't believe how long it took me to figure out how good folding tp was. I remember walking into some jackass' mess one day a few years ago, examining the contents, being intrigued at the intricate folding technique, and from thereon, adopting it as my own.

Bwana
12-21-2011, 10:31 AM
nope. it's a "hand"towel...not asshole towel.

sec

One would not want to pull the old "double duty," with a towel like that. :eek:

Pawnmower
12-21-2011, 10:33 AM
only for vaginas like Jenson

bevischief
12-21-2011, 10:33 AM
We have too many people not working today...

demonhero
12-21-2011, 10:33 AM
nah, but wouldn't mind a heated seat cover.

La literatura
12-21-2011, 10:34 AM
nah, but wouldn't mind a heated seat cover.

With massager?

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:34 AM
We have too many people not working today...

Well that's what happens when you don't want to use vacation time, but nobody is here and nothing really needs to be done.

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:34 AM
No you fold it over. LMAO

It will tear, resulting in accidental touching...

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:37 AM
It will tear, resulting in accidental touching...

I dunno man, I've practiced the folding technique for a good 20 years and I've had no touching accidents.

Chiefnj2
12-21-2011, 10:38 AM
It will tear, resulting in accidental touching...

accidental touching = stinky thumb

Lumpy
12-21-2011, 10:38 AM
We have too many people not working today...

That's no shit.

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:40 AM
accidental touching = stinky thumb

Back side or palm side?

demonhero
12-21-2011, 10:41 AM
With massager?

Yes, and with warning lights.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:42 AM
Back side or palm side?

Under the thumbnail?

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:42 AM
That's no shit.

Bah dum bum...

Be here all week folks!

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:43 AM
Under the thumbnail?

As long as you wash your hands before that ham sandwich.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:45 AM
As long as you wash your hands before that ham sandwich.

Gray Poopon Brown Mustard

journeyscarab
12-21-2011, 10:49 AM
Is there an option for an anal bleaching refresh?

ChiefsNow
12-21-2011, 10:49 AM
Would an illegal immigrant or convicted felon do these for us?


They could rinse their bag of coke off before the feed it to their brother.

Chiefnj2
12-21-2011, 10:49 AM
Does anybody else just drop some Mentos into a 2 liter bottle of Coke and squat over it in the tub? It cleans you right up and the caffeine gives you a little kick.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:50 AM
Does anybody else just drop some Mentos into a 2 liter bottle of Coke and squat over it in the tub? It cleans you right up and the caffeine gives you a little kick.

Feel the clean

http://images.wikia.com/meme/images/7/72/DCAM.jpg

Sofa King
12-21-2011, 10:51 AM
So you're suggesting I wipe once and then turn that piece over so that the recently-used portion is TOUCHING MY HAND?!?!?!

LMAO

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 10:52 AM
Man, you guys were right about the baby wipes...

WV
12-21-2011, 10:54 AM
They don't actually use more water in the long run because they cut down on the need for showers. Let's face it: the real reason most of us need to get in the shower is to clean our asses and crotches. One of the reasons that many people in Europe shower less than in the US (other than them being filthy Frenchies) is that they use bidets to clean the necessaries instead of a full body shower.

Really? Never thought about that. Wouldn't a wash cloth and a sink serve the same purpose if you chose to do that? I think the not showering thing is more of a cultural phenomenon than anything else.

Dayze
12-21-2011, 10:54 AM
I'll wait for MoHillbilly to chime in on this. Word on the street is, he has one in his fortress.

Baby Lee
12-21-2011, 10:55 AM
Man, you guys were right about the baby wipes...

Anyone here employ the Stern method. ie, stuffing the 2nd baby wipe up your bhole.

A bridge too far for me.

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:55 AM
I'll wait for MoHillbilly to chime in on this. Word on the street is, he has one in his fortress.

LMAO

loochy
12-21-2011, 10:56 AM
Anyone here employ the Stern method. ie, stuffing the 2nd baby wipe up your bhole.

A bridge too far for me.

No, that just pulls out more poop

Chiefnj2
12-21-2011, 10:56 AM
Anyone here employ the Stern method. ie, stuffing the 2nd baby wipe up your bhole.

A bridge too far for me.

You mean keeping it stuffed until your next bowel movement?

Baby Lee
12-21-2011, 10:59 AM
You mean keeping it stuffed until your next bowel movement?

no, stuff and pull. clean inside and out.

loochy
12-21-2011, 11:03 AM
Anyone here employ the Stern method. ie, stuffing the 2nd baby wipe up your bhole.

A bridge too far for me.


Anyone here employ the Plug method? (i.e. stuffing a paintball barrel squeegie up there)

A bridge too far for me.
http://www.paintballfunontherun.com/files/u2/squeegee.jpg

NewChief
12-21-2011, 11:04 AM
Really? Never thought about that. Wouldn't a wash cloth and a sink serve the same purpose if you chose to do that? I think the not showering thing is more of a cultural phenomenon than anything else.

Yes. Serves same purpose as a washcloth and sinkl, but you can sit down as you clean. That's how bidets are often used. They're more of a washing station than a replacement for toilet paper.

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 11:04 AM
Anyone here employ the Plug method? (i.e. stuffing a paintball barrel squeegie up there)

A bridge too far for me.
http://www.paintballfunontherun.com/files/u2/squeegee.jpg

ROFL

Baby Lee
12-21-2011, 11:08 AM
They don't actually use more water in the long run because they cut down on the need for showers. Let's face it: the real reason most of us need to get in the shower is to clean our asses and crotches. One of the reasons that many people in Europe shower less than in the US (other than them being filthy Frenchies) is that they use bidets to clean the necessaries instead of a full body shower.

Gold Bond does more to keep 'the area' fresh than showering. But then, I'm in shorts a good deal of the time, so I don't marinate as much as the average person.

I shower for two reasons, almost secondary to cleanliness, hot water, really hot, is a better tonic than caffeine for me, and to prep my face for shaving.

RubberSponge
12-21-2011, 11:09 AM
Man, you guys were right about the baby wipes...

Don't use actual baby wipes. They are not made to be flushed. They don't quite degrade and can cause a backup in your shitter.

They make flushable wipes that will degrade. Can be found on the paper aisle of every grocery store.

NewChief
12-21-2011, 11:13 AM
Don't use actual baby wipes. They are not made to be flushed. They don't quite degrade and can cause a backup in your shitter.

They make flushable wipes that will degrade. Can be found on the paper aisle of every grocery store.

Except most plumbers will tell you that the "flushable" wipes don't really degrade very well either. At least that's what the guys who had to come snake out our sewage line informed me. :banghead:

La literatura
12-21-2011, 11:24 AM
Anyone here employ the Stern method. ie, stuffing the 2nd baby wipe up your bhole.

A bridge too far for me.

Does he probe his colon?

plbrdude
12-21-2011, 11:30 AM
Except most plumbers will tell you that the "flushable" wipes don't really degrade very well either. At least that's what the guys who had to come snake out our sewage line informed me. :banghead:

true, and if you happen to be on a septic system figure that is where they are stopping

Okie_Apparition
12-21-2011, 11:34 AM
Damn, I hate using the urnial without the tall dividers...

seclark
12-21-2011, 11:40 AM
Damn, I hate using the urnial without the tall dividers...

not me...i want to see the bastard that's shaking it off on my boot.:cuss:
sec

La literatura
12-21-2011, 11:43 AM
Patrick Cox of TaxMasters endorses bidets.

Okie_Apparition
12-21-2011, 11:45 AM
I still think a dolphin would be the greenest way to go

Chiefnj2
12-21-2011, 11:46 AM
#1 reason for having kids - the introduction to flushable wipes.

Caseyguyrr
12-21-2011, 11:49 AM
anyone actually ever used one? they creep me out

Dayze
12-21-2011, 11:53 AM
Once in Hong Kong, I had to use the restroom - a restroom building of sorts that you'd see at a Ballfield / outside seperate building etc.

I walked by the stalls that had no doors on them, and saw a little Chinese guy squatting. Not knowing what he was doing I went about my business (#1). On my way out, I noticed there were no toilets in the stalls....just holes on the floor. It was a really nice bathroom building; nice tile etc.....only with a hole in the floor.

needless to say, there wasn't a bidet in there.

Caseyguyrr
12-21-2011, 11:54 AM
Once in Hong Kong, I had to use the restroom - a restroom building of sorts that you'd see at a Ballfield / outside seperate building etc.

I walked by the stalls that had no doors on them, and saw a little Chinese guy squatting. Not knowing what he was doing I went about my business (#1). On my way out, I noticed there were no toilets in the stalls....just holes on the floor. It was a really nice bathroom building; nice tile etc.....only with a hole in the floor.

needless to say, there wasn't a bidet in there.

that seems like the one emergency situation i would actually jump on the chance to use one

Dayze
12-21-2011, 11:56 AM
that seems like the one emergency situation i would actually jump on the chance to use one

and if I recall...there wasn't any TP in the stalls. Nothing. Just tiled stall walls.

....and the hole.

Caseyguyrr
12-21-2011, 11:59 AM
and if I recall...there wasn't any TP in the stalls. Nothing. Just tiled stall walls.

....and the hole.

i thought the no TP was a given

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 12:05 PM
On my way out, I noticed there were no toilets in the stalls....just holes on the floor. It was a really nice bathroom building; nice tile etc.....only with a hole in the floor.

France is the same way.

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 12:06 PM
Don't use actual baby wipes. They are not made to be flushed. They don't quite degrade and can cause a backup in your shitter.

They make flushable wipes that will degrade. Can be found on the paper aisle of every grocery store.

I use regular polyester wash cloths.

And we have a septic tank.

Bwana
12-21-2011, 12:06 PM
anyone actually ever used one? they creep me out

Yep, when I was visiting France in 1996. I didn't care for it at all. I'll stick to a shitter and let the commie frogs keep their little water fountain ball washer.

Caseyguyrr
12-21-2011, 12:09 PM
Yep, when I was visiting France in 1996. I didn't care for it at all. I'll stick to a shitter and let the commie frogs keep their little water fountain ball washer.

It's always been a creepy thing to even see in a shitter room. It's the american way to use TP.

Sofa King
12-21-2011, 12:09 PM
Damn, I hate using the urnial without the tall dividers...

I read this as "tall divers"

I was mentally picturing all kinds of sick shit before i decided to re-read it. I'm an idiot.

Chiefnj2
12-21-2011, 12:10 PM
Once in Hong Kong, I had to use the restroom - a restroom building of sorts that you'd see at a Ballfield / outside seperate building etc.

I walked by the stalls that had no doors on them, and saw a little Chinese guy squatting. Not knowing what he was doing I went about my business (#1). On my way out, I noticed there were no toilets in the stalls....just holes on the floor. It was a really nice bathroom building; nice tile etc.....only with a hole in the floor.

needless to say, there wasn't a bidet in there.

Squatting is common in Asia.

<embed id=VideoPlayback src=http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=7737198685162509406&hl=en&fs=true style=width:400px;height:326px allowFullScreen=true allowScriptAccess=always type=application/x-shockwave-flash> </embed>

bevischief
12-21-2011, 12:36 PM
Once in Hong Kong, I had to use the restroom - a restroom building of sorts that you'd see at a Ballfield / outside seperate building etc.

I walked by the stalls that had no doors on them, and saw a little Chinese guy squatting. Not knowing what he was doing I went about my business (#1). On my way out, I noticed there were no toilets in the stalls....just holes on the floor. It was a really nice bathroom building; nice tile etc.....only with a hole in the floor.

needless to say, there wasn't a bidet in there.

Turkey and Saudi are the same way as well, but not that nice...

bevischief
12-21-2011, 12:38 PM
I read this as "tall divers"

I was mentally picturing all kinds of sick shit before i decided to re-read it. I'm an idiot.

Why does that not surprise me...LMAO

Frazod
12-21-2011, 12:40 PM
Damn, I hate using the urnial without the tall dividers...

I miss the old style floor length urinals. I hope the cheap prick who invented the modern ones is getting pissed on in hell right now.

As for the bidet - never used one. But it's French, so to hell with it.

Slainte
12-21-2011, 12:51 PM
I live in Spain and have bidets in both bathrooms. They collect dust.

whoman69
12-21-2011, 12:51 PM
They killed my mother- in- law.

Trivers
12-21-2011, 12:52 PM
Does anybody else just drop some Mentos into a 2 liter bottle of Coke and squat over it in the tub? It cleans you right up and the caffeine gives you a little kick.

ROFL LMAO:clap:

htismaqe
12-21-2011, 01:20 PM
I live in Spain and have bidets in both bathrooms. They collect dust.

What are you doing visiting BOTH bathrooms?

Caseyguyrr
12-21-2011, 01:29 PM
I live in Spain and have bidets in both bathrooms. They collect dust.

there ya have it, someone with a personal experience, thread done

Chiefnj2
12-21-2011, 01:38 PM
I live in Spain and have bidets in both bathrooms. They collect dust.

Incorporate a CO2 dispenser and you could have a fancy seltzer machine.

RaiderH8r
12-21-2011, 01:49 PM
I need some high PSI stuff to get the gooch clean. I have a really hairy butt and dingleberries are truly a problem. I would love a bidet if for no other reason than it is one more venue where I can sit and get some reading done. I'd be happy to drip dry. I'm married with children so poppin a squat is really the only sanctuary I have left.

With respect to squat dumping in a floor hole...my aim and balance just ain't that f'ing good so I'd need handle bars and a large target zone to even have a prayer. I've had my gall bladder removed so if I've been eating some greasy food my shoes are gonna be done. It will just be bananas.

saphojunkie
12-21-2011, 02:01 PM
don't know...it seems like a cold gush of water would not go over well w/my frank and beans.
sec

You are wrong.

The real answer to this question is simple. The next time you poop, go ahead and wipe normally. Then, once you are done, wet down some toilet paper and go back in. See what you missed.

That ought to tell you all you need to know.

oh, and baby wipes are an acceptable substitute.

seclark
12-21-2011, 03:21 PM
You are wrong.

The real answer to this question is simple. The next time you poop, go ahead and wipe normally. Then, once you are done, wet down some toilet paper and go back in. See what you missed.

That ought to tell you all you need to know.

oh, and baby wipes are an acceptable substitute.

the fuck do you mean, i'm wrong?
i'm saying i don't want a blast of water to the back of my sack. you're telling me to do some kind of hydro-anal exploratory and examine my findings?

explain how i'm wrong. better yet, don't.
sec

La literatura
12-21-2011, 03:30 PM
You are wrong.

The real answer to this question is simple. The next time you poop, go ahead and wipe normally. Then, once you are done, wet down some toilet paper and go back in. See what you missed.

But do not post the results on here like it's a pregnancy test.

NewChief
12-21-2011, 03:49 PM
With respect to squat dumping in a floor hole...my aim and balance just ain't that f'ing good so I'd need handle bars and a large target zone to even have a prayer. I've had my gall bladder removed so if I've been eating some greasy food my shoes are gonna be done. It will just be bananas.

If you've ever visited a squat dumper, you'd know that many share your problem with aim. They're freaking disgusting.

Baby Lee
12-21-2011, 03:51 PM
If you've ever visited a squat dumper, you'd know that many share your problem with aim. They're freaking disgusting.

Reminds me of Seinfeld's bit on Chopsticks. "I mean, they've SEEN a fork. . ."

Can anyone make a case for the advantages of blowing ass into open air, as opposed to a toilet bowl? Seriously.

KCBOSS1
12-21-2011, 03:58 PM
I've got two boys that definitely need on. But if we could figure out how to keep the water warm between squirts it would be much better

Rain Man
12-21-2011, 05:14 PM
I live in Spain and have bidets in both bathrooms. They collect dust.

If they've never been used, can you convert them into a drinking fountain?

Frazod
12-21-2011, 06:17 PM
You are wrong.

The real answer to this question is simple. The next time you poop, go ahead and wipe normally. Then, once you are done, wet down some toilet paper and go back in. See what you missed.

That ought to tell you all you need to know.

oh, and baby wipes are an acceptable substitute.

Apparently some of us are better at wiping our asses than others. LMAO

Backwards Masking
12-21-2011, 06:55 PM
Hey a poop thread! and I thought this place was starting to lose it's burst.

it may save trees, but it wastes water, so it's not environmentally friendly, altogether, just when it comes to trees.

Sometimes when you wipe your butt, it takes one swipe and practically nothings there. Other times, it takes 20 swipes and you still don't feel clean.

I didn't spend my toddler years learning to wipe and my whole life doing it just to start all over with an experimental european system that i'm guessing is inferior.

I'm voting Hell No.

Caseyguyrr
12-21-2011, 07:53 PM
Hey a poop thread! and I thought this place was starting to lose it's burst.

it may save trees, but it wastes water, so it's not environmentally friendly, altogether, just when it comes to trees.

Sometimes when you wipe your butt, it takes one swipe and practically nothings there. Other times, it takes 20 swipes and you still don't feel clean.

I didn't spend my toddler years learning to wipe and my whole life doing it just to start all over with an experimental european system that i'm guessing is inferior.

I'm voting Hell No.

we could reuse the water to save the earth

alanm
12-21-2011, 08:12 PM
Why do I even click on these threads? :hmmm:

DementedLogic
12-21-2011, 08:14 PM
My hotel in Japan had a bidet, so i decided to give it a try. Its amazing how much that little squirt of water does. 1 squirt then 1 wipe normally does the trick.

Backwards Masking
12-21-2011, 08:15 PM
we could reuse the water to save the earth

so long we make sure not to mix it in with ou drinking supply

JD10367
12-21-2011, 08:30 PM
I have a massage showerhead on a hose. I always give the brown eye a good high-pressure hosedown when showering, usually just after a good crap. It's amazing the stuff you can still wash out from back there even when you think you've wiped clean...

Nzoner
12-21-2011, 08:54 PM
mrs Nzoner just had surgery on her hand and this last weekend whilst at her familys' I got asked so you know what you'd be doing if both hands had been operated on and i said yep,buying a bidet.

alnorth
12-21-2011, 09:01 PM
If this country was completely logical then bidets would be a common fixture in the US. We aren't, so they aren't. After the first couple passes, I routinely take some toilet paper, wet it, then go back in there to get what our primitive caveman paper technology misses. (plus one more dry pass to take care of the moisture, obviously)

Most of you folks who swear by toilet paper alone probably create streaks in your underwear and do a poor job of cleaning up downstairs.