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View Full Version : Life Should I stay or should I go?


JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 06:43 PM
It's the off season and I have an important decision to make. Since ChiefsPlanet is the know all end all, I would like your input.

Current situation: Lived in KC 28 years, moved to Phoenix for wife's job in 2010... she leaves me (divorce, no kids). Have an average to good job here, don't like the city.

Option one: Offered promotion at my current job (software), more money, stuck in Phoenix. Learn new job skills (IT), job security.

Option two: Transfer to Chicago or KC when a position becomes available (could be 6-12 months). Same pay. Less job security and less interesting job (training).

Things to remember: My ex lives in Phoenix. I have no relatives in Phoenix (all KC). I am 29 and have nothing tying me down.... as of now.

Thanks for the help CP...... preciate.

jjjayb
01-14-2012, 06:45 PM
Phoenix sucks. Come back to K.C.

rtmike
01-14-2012, 06:46 PM
Go home. Home is where the heart is. It's a trade off.

I don't imagine my wife & I will stay together when our daughter moves out. I'm outta here & back to western Kansas the minute that happens.

AustinChief
01-14-2012, 06:46 PM
Option one: Offered promotion at my current job (software), more money, stuck in Phoenix. Learn new job skills (IT), job security.

Option two: Transfer to Chicago or KC when a position becomes available (could be 6-12 months). Same pay. Less job security and less interesting job (training).

I hate to say it... but option 1 for sure. GET THE IT TRAINING. Get the training and THEN SOME... learn everything you can absorb and then learn some more. Burn 2 more years in Phoenix and then move ANYWHERE you want to. The additional job skills will give you so much more freedom in the long run, it's worth it.

Yeah, Phoenix sucks, but think long term.

Bewbies
01-14-2012, 06:47 PM
You can move anywhere, why limit your options?

Bane
01-14-2012, 06:48 PM
Option is most logical.

Phobia
01-14-2012, 06:48 PM
I'd take a promotion but that's how I am. It depends on what you want out of life. The promotion is a career builder whether you stay with this company or not.

You're not stuck in Phoenix no matter which choice you make.

Crush
01-14-2012, 06:49 PM
Thanks a lot, I now have that damn song stuck in my head.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 06:49 PM
Wow, good responses so far. Thanks everyone.

I have to inform my job next Friday of my decision.

siberian khatru
01-14-2012, 06:49 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/V1Gn0e7kvTA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 06:50 PM
And yes I have listened to the song, it didn't give me any answers. All I know that either way there will be trouble.

Mr. Flopnuts
01-14-2012, 06:55 PM
I hate to say it... but option 1 for sure. GET THE IT TRAINING. Get the training and THEN SOME... learn everything you can absorb and then learn some more. Burn 2 more years in Phoenix and then move ANYWHERE you want to. The additional job skills will give you so much more freedom in the long run, it's worth it.

Yeah, Phoenix sucks, but think long term.

I agree with this. Opportunity knocks, answer the door. Go home with the skills.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 06:56 PM
I hate to say it... but option 1 for sure. GET THE IT TRAINING. Get the training and THEN SOME... learn everything you can absorb and then learn some more. Burn 2 more years in Phoenix and then move ANYWHERE you want to. The additional job skills will give you so much more freedom in the long run, it's worth it.

Yeah, Phoenix sucks, but think long term.

Burn is the correct word usage.

MoreLemonPledge
01-14-2012, 06:59 PM
Stay, get the money/experience, then choose where you want to settle.

dmahurin
01-14-2012, 07:02 PM
And yes I have listened to the song, it didn't give me any answers. All I know that either way there will be trouble.

But if you stay there will be double.

Rain Man
01-14-2012, 07:08 PM
Option is most logical.

I agree with Bane.


Actually, isn't there a third option? Can't you find a job that you like in a city that you like?

Chocolate Hog
01-14-2012, 07:10 PM
Phoenix > Kc

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 07:11 PM
I agree with Bane.


Actually, isn't there a third option? Can't you find a job that you like in a city that you like?

Yes there is. And I am trying that out as I pursue the first two options.

milkman
01-14-2012, 07:12 PM
Yes.

FAX
01-14-2012, 07:13 PM
Go.

Do not pass your Ex. Do not go to jail.

FAX

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 07:36 PM
Go.

Do not pass your Ex. Do not go to jail.

FAX

Good point.

Molitoth
01-14-2012, 07:37 PM
A city is a city, and they all become boring unless you make it interesting.
Life is what you make of it, no matter where you live.

Psyko Tek
01-14-2012, 07:48 PM
ttrust me go
once my kids are outta school
I will be leaving phx
don\t care where

FAX
01-14-2012, 07:51 PM
There are times (more rare now than before) when I long to hit the open road and begin a new life in a new city. To simply set out on an adventure, not knowing what the future might hold or what exciting unforeseen events might await me. To feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my back and the thrill of absolute freedom as I chart an unexplored and exotic course. Then I remember that the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX asked me to replace some light bulbs in the hallway.

FAX

Frazod
01-14-2012, 07:52 PM
Option 1, gain security and experience, then move where you want on your own terms.

Munson
01-14-2012, 07:53 PM
Stay in Arizona. There's nothing to do out here in KC.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 07:57 PM
Phoenix is kind of a suburban nightmare in my opinion.

Yeah, it doesn't snow. I miss thunderstorms.

FAX
01-14-2012, 08:02 PM
Option 1, gain security and experience, then move where you want on your own terms.

Belay that order!

You can gain security and experience anywhere. Turn the page on your life. Find a new landscape and begin anew.

FAX

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 08:03 PM
Belay that order!

You can gain security and experience anywhere. Turn the page on your life. Find a new landscape and begin anew.

FAX

You make good points Mr. Fax. I don't know why I am more inclined to listen to you, but I am.

Frazod
01-14-2012, 08:05 PM
You make good points Mr. Fax. I don't know why I am more inclined to listen to you, but I am.

FTR, I don't think you should stay there forever (can't imagine how much Phoenix must suck in the summer); I'm just recommending building a bit of a war chest first. You're young - no need to rush.

Simply Red
01-14-2012, 08:07 PM
You can move anywhere, why limit your options?

http://tinyurl.com/35rua63

cdcox
01-14-2012, 08:10 PM
In today's world, you can never have enough skills or training. If your aren't growing in your career, you are on the way to obsolescence. I would consider any job where I wasn't growing a dead end that was going to leave me unemployed or under employed.

cdcox
01-14-2012, 08:11 PM
You may decide to leave Pheonix, but I wouldn't do it in a job where I wasn't gaining skills.

BigMeatballDave
01-14-2012, 08:14 PM
Go back to KC.

Fucking women...

Easy 6
01-14-2012, 08:15 PM
Great points being made for either choice, but to me, money isnt everything.

If you really think you'll be a happier person back home for the same money you have now, go home.

FAX
01-14-2012, 08:17 PM
FTR, I don't think you should stay there forever (can't imagine how much Phoenix must suck in the summer); I'm just recommending building a bit of a war chest first. You're young - no need to rush.

The problem is that his ex-girl person is there. Also memories and stuff like that.

Those can suck. Nope. It's best to shed the old skin like a reptile and go cold-blooded on some new chick in some new locale.

FAX

BigMeatballDave
01-14-2012, 08:17 PM
Oh, I missed the 'learn new skills'

Probably should stick around.

Frazod
01-14-2012, 08:18 PM
The problem is that his ex-girl person is there. Also memories and stuff like that.

Those can suck. Nope. It's best to shed the old skin like a reptile and go cold-blooded on some new chick in some new locale.

FAX

Dude, it's Phoenix, not Knob Knoster. Odds of him running into the ex on a daily basis (unless they live/work in the same area) are slim at best.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 08:19 PM
Great points being made for either choice, but to me, money isnt everything.

If you really think you'll be a happier person back home for the same money you have now, go home.

Yeah, some good arguments for either side.

I do see the benefits in staying, but my heart is telling me it's time to leave. At least it has been for the past few months.

Frazod
01-14-2012, 08:20 PM
Yeah, some good arguments for either side.

I do see the benefits in staying, but my heart is telling me it's time to leave. At least it has been for the past few months.

Then follow your heart - what the hell do we know?

Easy 6
01-14-2012, 08:23 PM
Yeah, some good arguments for either side.

I do see the benefits in staying, but my heart is telling me it's time to leave. At least it has been for the past few months.

As for improving your wallet/resume, who says a great opportunity wont present itself back home?

I know well what its like to be in a town you just dont like, it feels like wasted time... if you stay, yes, more money & a notch on the resume... but will you be happy?

keg in kc
01-14-2012, 08:24 PM
Take the promotion. Ignore the ex-wife.

FAX
01-14-2012, 08:24 PM
Dude, it's Phoenix, not Knob Knoster. Odds of him running into the ex on a daily basis (unless they live/work in the same area) are slim at best.

There will be the old haunts. The places where they used to share their deepest secrets ... the restaurant where they made candlelight promises of fidelity and loyalty and eternal love ... the parking lot where he gave her the "Reverse European Twizzler" after the movie.

Nope. It's best to move on. Tell Phoenix to shove it up its ass and open his mind afresh to a brand new world of exciting possibilities and hope.

FAX

Lumpy
01-14-2012, 08:24 PM
I voted for option 1. With the way this economy is, job security should be a number one priority. I don't know what your financial situation is right now, but it would be best to have some funds available in case you couldn't find a job right away. With that being said, the promotion and raise will help you so that in a few years you can move anywhere you want and be able to live comfortably until you find a job.

FAX
01-14-2012, 08:25 PM
Yeah, some good arguments for either side.

I do see the benefits in staying, but my heart is telling me it's time to leave. At least it has been for the past few months.

Follow your heart. It will never fail you.

FAX

luv
01-14-2012, 08:26 PM
I voted for option 1. With the way this economy is, job security should be a number one priority. I don't know what your financial situation is right now, but it would be best to have some funds available in case you couldn't find a job right away. With that being said, the promotion and raise will help you so that in a few years you can move anywhere you want and be able to live comfortably until you find a job.

I think COL is lower in KC than it would be Phoenix, though. Although the same would not be true of Chi-town.

Frazod
01-14-2012, 08:27 PM
There will be the old haunts. The places where they used to share their deepest secrets ... the restaurant where they made candlelight promises of fidelity and loyalty and eternal love ... the parking lot where he gave her the "Reverse European Twizzler" after the movie.

Nope. It's best to move on. Tell Phoenix to shove it up its ass and open his mind afresh to a brand new world of exciting possibilities and hope.

FAX

All that can be easily avoided unless he's still carrying the torch. If he is, they it is absolutely best to move on.

I was once in a relationship with a woman who lived in the apartment next door. When that went to hell, it was horrible. I ended up breaking my lease to get the hell away from her.

BigRedChief
01-14-2012, 08:28 PM
Take the traing and career advancement. Prepare for the next phase of your life.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 08:34 PM
I voted for option 1. With the way this economy is, job security should be a number one priority. I don't know what your financial situation is right now, but it would be best to have some funds available in case you couldn't find a job right away. With that being said, the promotion and raise will help you so that in a few years you can move anywhere you want and be able to live comfortably until you find a job.

Now I have a female opinion to take into account.

I am not sure if that is good or bad.

Lumpy
01-14-2012, 08:40 PM
Now I have a female opinion to take into account.

I am not sure if that is good or bad.

:p

Actually, you had 2. Luv made a good point about the COL being lower in KC.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 08:43 PM
Thanks for the advice ladies.

To add a few more notes.... I won't be leaving Phx without a job, either with this company or somewhere else.

I also was not the first choice for the promotion, it was offered to me in an effort to get me to stay. Not sure if this changes anything.

Baconeater
01-14-2012, 08:45 PM
If I ever get lucky enough to get out of the midwest, I'll never come back.

KCBOSS1
01-14-2012, 08:47 PM
take the promotion... get some money..... start applying for jobs in KC. When something comes available competitive, go home. Don't sink your roots too deep in Phoenix (buy house, get deep in debt, etc.) If you are, sell junk. Get light and lean and ready to fly. If you hate the city and all of your family is in KC, you're going to need to go home. If you are devastated..... Go home as soon as possible.

alnorth
01-14-2012, 09:05 PM
Option 1.

Improve your skills, build your employment history, build your resume as someone with experience at the promoted position. Don't start over at a new company, in this economy, get laid off, and regretfully look at what could have been in Phoenix while you search for a new job.

If the difference is as big as you paint it, perhaps you'll have the ability to name your city in a few years with more confidence of earning more money. Until then: there is an airport in Phoenix, and planes still fly to KC.

Pawnmower
01-14-2012, 09:18 PM
If you can, option A

Stick it out a little while for the interesting job and the opportunity....You can always bail out later....And you never know what shit might happen.

Sorry that shit happened to you tho man.

Easy as hell for me to say, but I think you should stay for a bit.

Lumpy
01-14-2012, 09:22 PM
If I ever get lucky enough to get out of Nebraska, I'll never come back.

This. :)

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 09:23 PM
If you can, option A

Stick it out a little while for the interesting job and the opportunity....You can always bail out later....And you never know what shit might happen.

Sorry that shit happened to you tho man.

Easy as hell for me to say, but I think you should stay for a bit.

Eh, the divorce and everything happened 4 months into our marriage, and was 1.5 years ago. I am over that.

Another piece of info, I tried to leave here when it happened, but the job made me an offer to stay. That time I stayed obviously.

Pawnmower
01-14-2012, 09:25 PM
Eh, the divorce and everything happened 4 months into our marriage, and was 1.5 years ago. I am over that.

Another piece of info, I tried to leave here when it happened, but the job made me an offer to stay. That time I stayed obviously.

Oh thats good ....

I had one end on me (after 10 years though) and it probably took me longer than 1.5 years to get over it....So I'd say youre doing very well man.

cdcox
01-14-2012, 09:27 PM
Eh, the divorce and everything happened 4 months into our marriage, and was 1.5 years ago. I am over that.

Another piece of info, I tried to leave here when it happened, but the job made me an offer to stay. That time I stayed obviously.

Rinse and repeat this every 1.5 years another 7 or 8 times and you'll be president of the company.

Spott
01-14-2012, 09:29 PM
I would go home. I did the same thing when I moved to Florida and I still regret that I haven't moved back home.

Miles
01-14-2012, 09:29 PM
I think COL is lower in KC than it would be Phoenix, though. Although the same would not be true of Chi-town.

Phoenix is a tad higher COL but likely negligible. If there is any COL benefit it would probably be washed out by the lower AZ state income tax.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 09:32 PM
Rinse and repeat this every 1.5 years another 7 or 8 times and you'll be president of the company.

It's a small company, I am probably more like 4 or 5 steps away from the top. I like that plan.

Miles
01-14-2012, 09:34 PM
Eh, the divorce and everything happened 4 months into our marriage, and was 1.5 years ago. I am over that.

Another piece of info, I tried to leave here when it happened, but the job made me an offer to stay. That time I stayed obviously.

Anything wrong with you living in Phoenix other than you are not exactly fond of the place? Such as you are uncomfortable enough there that you think your day-to-day quality of life is badly suffering or affecting your job performance?

Lumpy
01-14-2012, 09:35 PM
Ok, this should help you figure out which option is better... go to weather.com and compare forecasts. :D

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 09:38 PM
Anything wrong with you living in Phoenix other than you are not exactly fond of the place? Such as you are uncomfortable enough there that you think your day-to-day quality of life is badly suffering or affecting your job performance?

Eh, nothing in particular. Just haven't found anything out here I like, anything worth staying for. It was 72 today, but ask me the temperature again in July.

Lumpy
01-14-2012, 09:43 PM
100+ degrees/dry heat > 100+ degrees/90% humidity

Just sayin'. ;)

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 09:45 PM
100+ degrees/dry heat > 100+ degrees/90% humidity

Just sayin'. ;)

The heat is dry, but for a few months there the low hardly gets below 90. There is no relief whatsoever. And last year we had something like 37 days above 110.

FAX
01-14-2012, 09:46 PM
After you've lived in a city long enough, it becomes like a mirror, Mr. The_Wiz.

It reflects your current existence, but it's an old mirror that's been clouded and chipped and cracked over time and through daily, repetitive use. In order to change your life, you must find a different mirror. You need a mirror that is new. Pristine. Clean and uncorrupted. One that doesn't simply double your boredom or misery, but encourages you to improve your life by returning bright colors and faithful images.

FAX

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 09:52 PM
After you've lived in a city long enough, it becomes like a mirror, Mr. The_Wiz.

It reflects your current existence, but it's an old mirror that's been clouded and chipped and cracked over time and through daily, repetitive use. In order to change your life, you must find a different mirror. You need a mirror that is new. Pristine. Clean and uncorrupted. One that doesn't simply double your boredom or misery, but encourages you to improve your life by returning bright colors and faithful images.

FAX

I think that just about sums it up perfectly.

Miles
01-14-2012, 09:52 PM
Burn is the correct word usage.

Depends on how you look at it. How long would you guess that it would take you to move laterally career wise to get to KC or Chicago (which you said might take 6-12 months) and then progress to the level you have been offered to stay in AZ?

Lumpy
01-14-2012, 09:55 PM
I could deal w/ the heat... it's the humidity that kills me.

This thread needs a little Jimmy Durante. :D

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bY-zmJ1VCQI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

RJ
01-14-2012, 09:57 PM
Women in Phoenix are far better looking and there are more of them.

Stay.

JoeyChuckles
01-14-2012, 09:58 PM
Women in Phoenix are far better looking and there are more of them.

Stay.

Not from what I've seen.