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FAX
02-11-2012, 04:16 PM
Yo, homies.

I know that some Planeteers are proficient in the victual sciences and I need help with a proven, ding dang, chewy granola bar recipe that I can make myself in my own ding dang kitchen. I'm going for chewy here because I'm sick and tired of purchasing pre-manufactured granola bars that explode into a billion little crumbs the moment you open the package. So, think chewy.

I have the following ingredient parts on hand; I have oats, wheat germ, assorted nuts including almonds, walnuts, and pecans. I have honey, brown sugar, vanilla extract that has been pre-extracted. I have fruits hunks including berries and some craisins (sp?) which are a cross between a cranberry and a raisin that are actually damn good in an oatmeal cookie so I have high hopes for those.

In addition to all that I have a bunch of other stuff that might come in handy like wheat flour and baking powders and all like that there.

If anyone can recommend a tasty chewy granola bar recipe, I shall be forever grateful and only temporarily hungry. Thanks in advance.

Your friend in noshing,

FAX

Disclaimers: Sorry if repost.

Rain Man
02-11-2012, 04:20 PM
They're not powerbars, but I make layer bars that are the best thing ever. Graham cracker crust, make cheesecake to go on it, and then on top of the cheesecake you put chocolate chips, coconut, and cashews. They're amazing.

FAX
02-11-2012, 04:22 PM
They're not powerbars, but I make layer bars that are the best thing ever. Graham cracker crust, make cheesecake to go on it, and then on top of the cheesecake you put chocolate chips, coconut, and cashews. They're amazing.

That sounds great, Mr. Rain Man. It actually sounds like cheesecake, in a way.

Thanks for the help and all, but I'm going for chewy granola bars, though. You know ... chewy granola bars?

FAX

Rain Man
02-11-2012, 04:25 PM
That sounds great, Mr. Rain Man. It actually sounds like cheesecake, in a way.

Thanks for the help and all, but I'm going for chewy granola bars, though. You know ... chewy granola bars?

FAX


I try to not get hemmed in by things like the original thread topic. It's a personal freedom statement.

Gonzo
02-11-2012, 04:33 PM
Ok, I'm doing this from my phone and by memory but here you go...

Makes 3 dozen



4 1/2 cups oats or granola/grape nuts cereal

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2/3 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup honey

1/3 cup packed brown sugar

2 cups miniature semisweet chocolate chips or M&M's

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
Lightly grease one 9x13 inch pan.

In a large mixing bowl combine the cereal/oats, flour, baking soda, vanilla, butter or margarine, honey and brown sugar. Stir in the 2 cups assorted chocolate chips, raisins, nuts etc.

Lightly press mixture into the prepared pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 18 to 22 minutes or until brown. Let cool for 10 minutes then cut into bars. Let bars cool completely in pan before removing or serving.

Yeah, I used to cook a bit for a living. Baking was not my forte but I think this will help out.
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Rain Man
02-11-2012, 04:43 PM
Be warned, FAX. Gonzo just gave you a recipe for a low-grade napalm. That's a particularly cruel practical joke.

Okie_Apparition
02-11-2012, 04:58 PM
Back in my day we ate park benches
AND LOVED IT
Layers & layers of chewy lead paint goodness

Gonzo
02-11-2012, 05:14 PM
Be warned, FAX. Gonzo just gave you a recipe for a low-grade napalm. That's a particularly cruel practical joke.

Indeed...

I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.
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Bump
02-11-2012, 05:22 PM
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=homemade+granola+bar+recipe

FAX
02-11-2012, 05:26 PM
Thanks, Mr. Gonzo. That looks pretty good.

I guess I could substitute nuts and craisins (sp?) for the candy, right?

Also, the "mixture" should be what consistency? ... when you put into the pan to bake, I mean. Like Elmer's Glue? Wet concrete? Porridge? Cheesecake?

Thanks, again.

FAX

FAX
02-11-2012, 05:27 PM
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=homemade+granola+bar+recipe

Have you tried that one, Mr. Bump?

I'm looking for a "proven" recipe. I don't have enough ingredients to mess up a couple of times.

FAX

bigbucks24
02-11-2012, 05:53 PM
I think you should go for a chewy granola bar.

Gonzo
02-11-2012, 10:06 PM
Thanks, Mr. Gonzo. That looks pretty good.

I guess I could substitute nuts and craisins (sp?) for the candy, right?

Also, the "mixture" should be what consistency? ... when you put into the pan to bake, I mean. Like Elmer's Glue? Wet concrete? Porridge? Cheesecake?

Thanks, again.

FAX
Wet concrete sounds about right, maybe a little thicker. If you like molasses, you can substitute it for the honey.
Posted via Mobile Device

FAX
02-11-2012, 11:54 PM
Awesome. Thanks again, Mr. Gonzo. I'm going to slam these babies together in the morning. I can't wait.

Meanwhile, I think I'm going to move forward with my new business concept. I'm going to ghost hunt for animal spirits that are bothering people in my neighborhood and elsewhere. I have recently learned that a lot of people say that different animals such as mice and hedgehogs and flies and stuff get really pissed off when they are mouse-trapped or swatted or otherwise killed by a homeowner and they often return in spirit form to irritate the beejesus out of the people who toasted them. According to H.P. Lovecraft's letters on the subject, the same seems to also apply to demonic beings from sinister, unseen, loathsome, and unspeakable worlds. Apparently, a lot of times these shadowy animal phantasma return to our Earthly plane with nothing but despicable and perverted revenge on their puny, little, malignant animal brains. I figure I'll charge maybe $10 bucks for a rodent exorcism and maybe $25 for banishment to hell and gone of a hedgehog wraith. I've been watching Ghost Hunters and figure all you need is a flashlight and a bladder full of urine with which you can pee on the little, malodorous, disembodied bastards.

But first, the chewy granola bars!!

FAX

bevischief
02-12-2012, 03:41 AM
napalm is nothing more than liquid soap and gasoline...

Rain Man
02-12-2012, 07:26 AM
napalm is nothing more than liquid soap and gasoline...

He's looking for something more chewy, though.