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View Full Version : Nat'l Security The Difference between a Liberal,Conservative and Texans question...


Chiefshrink
02-15-2012, 08:58 AM
You\'re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that\'s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he\'d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Texan\'s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click... (sounds of reloading).

Wife: \"Sweetheart, he looks like he\'s still moving, what do you kids think?\"

Son: \"Mom\'s right Dad, I saw it too...\"

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: \"Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips


LMAO

Amnorix
02-15-2012, 11:20 AM
Wow, that's really just not very funny. But suit yourself.

vailpass
02-15-2012, 11:25 AM
The liberal response failed to fully consider the feelings and rights of the knife wielder, otherwise spot-on.

Amnorix
02-15-2012, 11:30 AM
The liberal response failed to fully consider the feelings and rights of the knife wielder, otherwise spot-on.


:rolleyes: Only for a few extreme far-left whackos at best.

Amnorix
02-15-2012, 11:34 AM
Here's an inverse and equally stupid joke.

A conservative and liberal are walking down the street, carrying a Glock, along with their families. An African-American comes walking around the corner. He glances at your wife. What do you do?

Liberal: err....nothing, why?


Conservative: Shoot the fucker. "Damn nigger was eyeing my wife."


Hardy har har


Not funny, just stupid. Just like the OP.

Mr. Kotter
02-15-2012, 11:37 AM
Dude...seek help. Though I suspect you are beyond help.

mlyonsd
02-15-2012, 11:39 AM
Here's an inverse and equally stupid joke.

A conservative and liberal are walking down the street, carrying a Glock, along with their families. An African-American comes walking around the corner. He glances at your wife. What do you do?

Liberal: err....nothing, why?


Conservative: Shoot the ****er. "Damn ****er was eyeing my wife."


Hardy har har


Not funny, just stupid. Just like the OP.Just curious, why did you feel the need to interject race there?

SNR
02-15-2012, 11:41 AM
Just curious, why did you feel the need to interject race there?Republicans hate black people. Just like liberals have no protective instinct whatsoever for their families.

JOKEZ!

vailpass
02-15-2012, 11:42 AM
Republicans hate black people. Just like liberals have no protective instinct whatsoever for their families.

JOKEZ!

****** please.

Amnorix
02-15-2012, 11:44 AM
Just curious, why did you feel the need to interject race there?

Republicans hate black people. Just like liberals have no protective instinct whatsoever for their families.

JOKEZ!


^ This

vailpass
02-15-2012, 11:46 AM
You guys realize you are illustrating the point of the OP right?

Predarat
02-15-2012, 11:58 AM
I like the Texans answer.

Direckshun
02-15-2012, 01:22 PM
For the record, sportsshrink has until the first week of November.

If Obama wins reelection, he can never post in this forum again.

Enjoy your time while you can, SS.

vailpass
02-15-2012, 01:31 PM
For the record, sportsshrink has until the first week of November.

If Obama wins reelection, he can never post in this forum again.

Enjoy your time while you can, SS.

For the record, chicks like you seem to benefit from a backhand over breakfast.

Chiefspants
02-15-2012, 01:37 PM
For the record, chicks like you seem to benefit from a backhand over breakfast.

DO I DETECT A HINT OF DA SEXISM!?!?!


Classic Republican.













































;)

Bewbies
02-15-2012, 01:53 PM
Here's an inverse and equally stupid joke.

A conservative and liberal are walking down the street, carrying a Glock, along with their families. An African-American comes walking around the corner. He glances at your wife. What do you do?

Liberal: err....nothing, why?


Conservative: Shoot the ****er. "Damn ****er was eyeing my wife."


Hardy har har


Not funny, just stupid. Just like the OP.

I lol'd. Of course the mindset of the people in this country that freed slaves, ended segregation and were home to the party of MLK Jr are racist. I get it!!

Direckshun
02-15-2012, 02:18 PM
I lol'd. Of course the mindset of the people in this country that freed slaves, ended segregation and were home to the party of MLK Jr are racist. I get it!!

Northern liberals? :evil:

Bewbies
02-15-2012, 02:19 PM
Northern liberals? :evil:

Yes, it was the liberals. :evil:

Chiefshrink
02-16-2012, 12:44 AM
For the record, sportsshrink has until the first week of November.

If Obama wins reelection, he can never post in this forum again.

Enjoy your time while you can, SS.

Well Miss Direction pride comes before a fall. But one regret that I have in making this bet was to make your consequence of losing much more painful. If you never post in DC again it really won't hurt you at all but will kill you is never posting in the Draft forum again. That is your real passion.

Politics aside, you really do a good job in evaluating college players and know your stuff. I look forward to your opinions i.e. to the players and the upcoming draft for the Chiefs every year.

You willing to change your consequence of losing to make this a fair bet???

If not that is ok it's on me for not being wiser in the beginning.

Bewbies
02-16-2012, 01:10 AM
Obama isn't winning. Do people not follow history here at all?

dmahurin
02-16-2012, 06:22 AM
I recently asked my neighbors’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, are liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’

Her parents beamed with pride.

’Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that! You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.‘

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ’ Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? ‘

I said, ‘Welcome to Conservatism.’

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

InChiefsHell
02-16-2012, 07:10 AM
I'm a conservative, and while I appreciate the humor, jokes like this make us look stupid.

Dave Lane
02-16-2012, 07:53 AM
1992 called and wants its joke back.

You\'re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that\'s not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun and what kind of message does this send to society and my children? Is it possible he\'d be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Texan\'s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click... (sounds of reloading).

Wife: \"Sweetheart, he looks like he\'s still moving, what do you kids think?\"

Son: \"Mom\'s right Dad, I saw it too...\"

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: \"Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips


LMAO

loochy
02-16-2012, 12:37 PM
Here's an inverse and equally stupid joke.

A conservative and liberal are walking down the street, carrying a Glock, along with their families. An African-American comes walking around the corner. He glances at your wife. What do you do?

Liberal: err....nothing, why?


Conservative: Shoot the fucker. "Damn ****er was eyeing my wife."


Hardy har har


Not funny, just stupid. Just like the OP.

This is accurate. The guy that came around the corner probably is a criminal anyway.

vailpass
02-16-2012, 03:05 PM
1992 called and wants its joke back.

The guy from the Man Hole called, he wants his salad tossed.

listopencil
02-16-2012, 03:17 PM
Six people were on a plane.
A doctor, a lawyer, a priest and 3 children.
The pilot comes on the radio and says that the plane is going to crash, and that there are only three parachutes.
The doctor yells out, " Save the children"
The lawyer yells out, "**** THE CHILDREN!"
The priest yells out, "IS THERE TIME? "


Nyuk nyuk nyuk...

SNR
02-16-2012, 03:40 PM
Really disgusting joke here:
(works better if you turn off your word filter)

Q: How do you get a gay guy to fuck a woman?

A: Fill up her cunt with shit

LiveSteam
02-16-2012, 06:21 PM
I recently asked my neighbors’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, are liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’

Her parents beamed with pride.

’Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that! You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.‘

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ’ Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? ‘

I said, ‘Welcome to Conservatism.’

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.
:clap::clap::clap::clap:

Dave Lane
02-17-2012, 12:50 AM
The guy from the Man Hole called, he wants his salad tossed.

I knew he would call you. You've probably had more black dicks in you than the urinals at the Apollo Theater.

Mr. Kotter
02-17-2012, 12:56 AM
I'm a conservative, and while I appreciate the humor, jokes like this make us look stupid.Yep...

Yes, sir...they do. Except too many don't see the shame. Heh. LMAO

Chief Henry
02-17-2012, 11:40 AM
I recently asked my neighbors’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, are liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’

Her parents beamed with pride.

’Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that! You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.‘

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ’ Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? ‘

I said, ‘Welcome to Conservatism.’

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.



:clap: