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Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:14 PM
Why do these things exist?

Has anyone actually ever won a damn thing?

Or, are they around to continously support people's gambling problems?!

BigCatDaddy
02-22-2012, 01:15 PM
Voluntary tax.

lcarus
02-22-2012, 01:16 PM
Some people win. I've never tried.

DMAC
02-22-2012, 01:16 PM
Sounds like you just lost.

Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:17 PM
Some people win. I've never tried.

I've been getting some recently to help my gambling problem.

I keep buying the damn things, too.

Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:17 PM
Sounds like you just lost.

3 fricking dollars.

DMAC
02-22-2012, 01:18 PM
3 fricking dollars.

Sprinkle the shavings in your eye if you lose. That will help you quit.

tooge
02-22-2012, 01:19 PM
I always put three in each kids stocking a christmas and one in my wifes stocking. Any winnings and we just buy more and see how far it goes. We still have nine dollars to buy nine new tickets. Seems like we break even until the next christmas. Otherwise, no, I don't play them

Lono
02-22-2012, 01:19 PM
Haven't bought one in a while. My mom put one in a present for christmas. Won $100, cashed it in, bought another $2 ticket, won another $100. I was pumped.

Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:19 PM
Sprinkle the shavings in your eye if you lose. That will help you quit.

How about I roll them up and smoke them?

Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:20 PM
I always put three in each kids stocking a christmas and one in my wifes stocking. Any winnings and we just buy more and see how far it goes. We still have nine dollars to buy nine new tickets. Seems like we break even until the next christmas. Otherwise, no, I don't play them

My grandma also used these as stocking stuffers. Pretty cool idea.

tooge, you remind me of my grandma.

That's neat.

Saulbadguy
02-22-2012, 01:23 PM
redneck retirement funds

KCUnited
02-22-2012, 01:25 PM
Once a month I got to take the day off work and spend the afternoon at Dave's Stagecoach with some warm Busch and a stack of pull-tabs just to keep myself right.

Amnorix
02-22-2012, 01:26 PM
It's an intelligence tax.

Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:27 PM
redneck retirement funds

Which is smart; living in Topeka.

DaKCMan AP
02-22-2012, 01:31 PM
They paid for my undergraduate degree.

luv
02-22-2012, 01:32 PM
Looks like I need to stop holding out for a rich guy and start doing this instead.

Fish
02-22-2012, 01:35 PM
Yeah.... tax on people who are really bad at math.

And giving them for Christmas? Dumbest idea ever. "Thanks Grandma! Just what I wanted... a present that has 50,000,000 to 1 odds of being completely worthless. How thoughtful, I've never had terrible odds at success before."

Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:37 PM
Yeah.... tax on people who are really bad at math.

And giving them for Christmas? Dumbest idea ever. "Thanks Grandma! Just what I wanted... a present that has 50,000,000 to 1 odds of being completely worthless. How thoughtful, I've never had terrible odds at success before."

So, you're telling me there's still a chance?!?

DMAC
02-22-2012, 01:46 PM
Yeah.... tax on people who are really bad at math.

And giving them for Christmas? Dumbest idea ever. "Thanks Grandma! Just what I wanted... a present that has 50,000,000 to 1 odds of being completely worthless. How thoughtful, I've never had terrible odds at success before."
That's better than a $1 present that has no chance to be anything but crap.

At least scratchers have a 50,000,000 to 1 chance of not being crap.

Plus...you can smoke the shavings.

alpha_omega
02-22-2012, 01:48 PM
Hadn't bought one in quite some time. So...i go in to buy one, and find out they aren't a dollar any more....$2, $5, $25....WTF?

seclark
02-22-2012, 01:49 PM
never bought one. had one given to me for Christmas and won $50. had another one given to me for my bday and won $20.

wife buys them all the time. in fact, now that i think about it, she cashed both of my winning tickets in for me. haven't seen a dime.
sec

Ceej
02-22-2012, 01:49 PM
That's better than a $1 present that has no chance to be anything but crap.

At least scratchers have a 50,000,000 to 1 chance of not being crap.

Plus...you can smoke the shavings.

This past Christmas I got a $20 gift card to QuikTrip from a set of grandparents.

I should have bought $20 worth of scratch tickets.

I'm such an idiot. That's a lot of scratch to smoke.

Rain Man
02-22-2012, 01:53 PM
never bought one. had one given to me for Christmas and won $50. had another one given to me for my bday and won $20.



You should be buying them all the time. If you bought 20 a day you wouldn't have to work.

Johnny Vegas
02-22-2012, 02:00 PM
went on a trip to the Gorge in Washington to see Rock the Bells. Stopped at a gas station there and bought a $20 scratch ticket. Only scratch ticket I have ever bought in Washington and won $200. I was drunk at the time when I played and couldn't really believe what I was seeing so I waited till the next day to look at it again and sure as shit I did win. Never hit that big before on a scratch ticket.

saphojunkie
02-22-2012, 02:02 PM
Alright, now I'm going to go buy one. I will return with the results.

Dr. Facebook Fever
02-22-2012, 02:02 PM
Why do these things exist?

Has anyone actually ever won a damn thing?

Or, are they around to continously support people's gambling problems?!

$ as in for the state

Dr. Facebook Fever
02-22-2012, 02:04 PM
It's an intelligence tax.

LMAO

tooge
02-22-2012, 02:05 PM
Yeah.... tax on people who are really bad at math.

And giving them for Christmas? Dumbest idea ever. "Thanks Grandma! Just what I wanted... a present that has 50,000,000 to 1 odds of being completely worthless. How thoughtful, I've never had terrible odds at success before."

yeah, well, fuck off. My kids enjoy the crap out of them and it beats a stocking full of diabetes inducing sugar.

Stewie
02-22-2012, 02:06 PM
Yeah.... tax on people who are really bad at math.

And giving them for Christmas? Dumbest idea ever. "Thanks Grandma! Just what I wanted... a present that has 50,000,000 to 1 odds of being completely worthless. How thoughtful, I've never had terrible odds at success before."

Norm McDonald had a great bit in his standup routine about giving lottery tickets as gifts.

Last Christmas, I got the worst gift a guy ever gave me. He gave me a lottery ticket… what’s the guy even thinking there. “Here you go… nothing! Merry Christmas! It’s nothing!” Unless it wins! Man! "You got $40 million? What are the chances of that coffee mug you gave me SKYROCKETING in value?!"

Rain Man
02-22-2012, 02:17 PM
I like getting lottery tickets as gifts. The ticket isn't the gift. The gift is the flitting dream of wealth and prosperity and owning a yacht with a naked all-female crew (who got their jobs solely due to their maritime skills, thank you very much).

Old Dog
02-22-2012, 02:26 PM
I like getting lottery tickets as gifts. The ticket isn't the gift. The gift is the flitting dream of wealth and prosperity and owning a yacht with a naked all-female crew (who got their jobs solely due to their maritime skills, thank you very much).

I like this, except would choose mine more for their Merry-Time skills

Kerberos
02-22-2012, 02:38 PM
I like getting lottery tickets as gifts. The ticket isn't the gift. The gift is the flitting dream of wealth and prosperity and owning a yacht with a naked all-female crew (who got their jobs solely due to their maritime skills, thank you very much).

I like this, except would choose mine more for their Merry-Time skills

You both got it wrong..... you would choose them for their Mammary-Time skills.

Dicky McElephant
02-22-2012, 02:39 PM
We have friends that always give me 5 scratchers for my birthday. In 3 years....they've given me $2.

Rain Man
02-22-2012, 02:40 PM
In a totally weird coincidence, this story about a naked female maritime crew just popped up on my cnn:

http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/20/naked-rowers-spotlight-slavery/

What are the odds of that? I swear I didn't see the article until after I'd made my post.

Bump
02-22-2012, 02:44 PM
I never could understand people who pump every last dollar into these things. It's pretty damn stupid. But POKER IS THE GOT DAMN DEBIL, but spend all of your money on this bullshit, yeah baby, the government rules!

Ceej
02-22-2012, 02:50 PM
We have friends that always give me 5 scratchers for my birthday. In 3 years....they've given me $2.

That right there is.... LOVE.

saphojunkie
02-22-2012, 02:53 PM
Alright, now I'm going to go buy one. I will return with the results.

Woo hoo! Spent three dollars to win one!

At least I got out of the office.

Lono
02-22-2012, 02:58 PM
I like to buy one once in a while just for fun. Dreaming of actually winning is fun once in a while. As long as I pay my own bills, who cares. Now the dude trading his food stamps for em....

Dartgod
02-22-2012, 03:07 PM
In a totally weird coincidence, this story about a naked female maritime crew just popped up on my cnn:

http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/20/naked-rowers-spotlight-slavery/

What are the odds of that? I swear I didn't see the article until after I'd made my post.

Disappointing in the fact that there was not one single picture of a naked female maritime crew member.

Frosty
02-22-2012, 03:16 PM
I don't buy them but I frequently get stuck in line behind people that do. I am surprised at how expensive they have gotten. It seems like most of them are between $5 and $20 now. I could see occasionally blowing a buck on one just for grins but not $20.

Frazod
02-22-2012, 03:19 PM
I think they exist to make my lunch cold on days I buy a soda at the convenience store and have to wait until the cashier gets done dealing with 20 fucking idiot-ass lotto crackheads buying every concievable combination of the goddamn things. You'd almost think they put thought into it if you didn't realize how stupid it was that they're buying them in the first place.

Morons. 4321

Frosty
02-22-2012, 03:27 PM
I think they exist to make my lunch cold on days I buy a soda at the convenience store and have to wait until the cashier gets done dealing with 20 ****ing idiot-ass lotto crackheads buying every concievable combination of the goddamn things. You'd almost think they put thought into it if you didn't realize how stupid it was that they're buying them in the first place.

Morons. 4321

It's even better when those morons only move over slightly and start scratching off the tickets at the counter so that you have to squeeze up next to them to pay for your stuff. :shake:

Rain Man
02-22-2012, 03:29 PM
Disappointing in the fact that there was not one single picture of a naked female maritime crew member.

No kidding. What was up with that? Those journalists have no idea how to increase readership.

Der Flöprer
02-22-2012, 03:31 PM
SR hit $7777 dollars a couple of months ago.

scho63
02-22-2012, 03:42 PM
Why do these things exist?

Has anyone actually ever won a damn thing?

Or, are they around to continously support people's gambling problems?!

I'm a lucky bastard with scratchers-have won $500, $2500, $100 at least 4x's and just won $20 today spending $10.

Check the unclaimed and odds pages of your local lottery. Virginia has them all posted.
http://www.valottery.com/scratchers/remaining.asp

I only play the $5 tickets and I usually buy a minimum of 4-5 of the SAME game to improve my odds. DO NOT buy one ticket of 5 different games. You really screw up any chance of winning

:D

Fish
02-22-2012, 03:46 PM
I'm a lucky bastard with scratchers-have won $500, $2500, $100 at least 4x's and just won $20 today spending $10.

Check the unclaimed and odds pages of your local lottery. Virginia has them all posted.
http://www.valottery.com/scratchers/remaining.asp

I only play the $5 tickets and I usually buy a minimum of 4-5 of the SAME game to improve my odds. DO NOT buy one ticket of 5 different games. You really screw up any chance of winning

:D

Good advice, I'm sure that improves your odds by at least 0.0000000000000000000001%.....

tooge
02-22-2012, 03:47 PM
husband of a gal at my office bought one on the way to pick her up here for lunch a while back. Hit $100,000. They went to Jeff City to pick up winnings and pay taxes on it the next week. I didn't ask how many he bought tho.

scho63
02-22-2012, 04:20 PM
Good advice, I'm sure that improves your odds by at least 0.0000000000000000000001%.....

That's not true-buying a string gives you pretty decent odds-here's two $5 game odds

Top Prize---------Any Prize
1 in 459,000 1 in 4.26
Odds of winning are established when a game is printed. Number of winning tickets remaining will change as players win prizes. The Virginia Lottery will end sales of this game when someone claims the last top prize. The Lottery may close a game for other reasons. This page is updated daily. For more information on overall odds, click here.

Top Prize---------Any Prize
1 in 1,060,800 1 in 4.32
Odds of winning are established when a game is printed. Number of winning tickets remaining will change as players win prizes. The Virginia Lottery will end sales of this game when someone claims the last top prize. The Lottery may close a game for other reasons. This page is updated daily. For more information on overall odds, click here.

scho63
02-22-2012, 04:22 PM
Good advice, I'm sure that improves your odds by at least 0.0000000000000000000001%.....

And here's the odds of the $20 game but I won't play that-too expensive

Top Prize-----Any Prize
1 in 1,020,000 1 in 2.89
Odds of winning are established when a game is printed. Number of winning tickets remaining will change as players win prizes. The Virginia Lottery will end sales of this game when someone claims the last top prize. The Lottery may close a game for other reasons. This page is updated daily. For more information on overall odds, click here.

scho63
02-22-2012, 04:27 PM
Here's my winning ticket for today

lewdog
02-22-2012, 10:10 PM
When I was in high school I bought a $1 scratch ticket and won $50 off it. I maybe buy one a year and my dad usually sticks one in my stocking for Christmas every year.

trndobrd
02-22-2012, 10:46 PM
It's even better when those morons only move over slightly and start scratching off the tickets at the counter so that you have to squeeze up next to them to pay for your stuff. :shake:

Even better than that are the rocket surgeons, often a releative of the cashier through multiple lines, who think that their 'turn' at the cash register isn't done until they have completely scratched off every card, cashed in their $4 'winner' for another two cards, scratched those two off, cuss about losing, and buy a pack of the cheapest off brand cigarettes in the store.

Psyko Tek
02-22-2012, 10:57 PM
I like getting lottery tickets as gifts. The ticket isn't the gift. The gift is the flitting dream of wealth and prosperity and owning a yacht with a naked all-female crew (who got their jobs solely due to their maritime skills, thank you very much).

I actually knew a girl who was on an all female yatch crew,
america's cup type stuff
she did not provide me with the topless pic
but said they did it
they were on Australia's team

Shogun
02-22-2012, 11:06 PM
my dad has won 40k which he used to remodel my parents house and 20k which i have no idea what happened to it.