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KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 08:38 PM
If you absolutely had to kill yourself, how would you do it? Quick, because you just want to hurry up? Slow, because you hate yourself and think you deserve to burn to death? Or would you do it in the funniest way possible?

What do you guys think?

Bowser
04-30-2012, 08:38 PM
I'd start by first reading this thread....

Count Alex's Wins
04-30-2012, 08:38 PM
I'd drive myself off a cliff with Scott Pioli and Matt Cassel in the trunk.

Count Alex's Wins
04-30-2012, 08:39 PM
With several gallons of gasoline in there, too, just to be sure.

Bowser
04-30-2012, 08:39 PM
I'd drive myself off a cliff with Scott Pioli and Matt Cassel in the trunk.

Ah, the Junior Seau approach. Ballsy.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 08:39 PM
I'd drive myself off a cliff with Scott Pioli and Matt Cassel in the trunk.

Oh, this is perfect! Take somebody you hate with you!

Dr. Facebook Fever
04-30-2012, 08:40 PM
facepalm smilie

Dayze
04-30-2012, 08:41 PM
I'd punch MoHillbilly right in the lips.

hard too.

Mr. Laz
04-30-2012, 08:41 PM
i would think that jumping off a high building or cliff would be the most efficient

one step and the decision is made, i would think you would die so quickly that you would barely feel it.

Trevo_410
04-30-2012, 08:43 PM
:Lin:Im really starting to think about it if i see another god awful ku chick...

<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/40878041?title=0&amp;byline=0&amp;portrait=0" width="400" height="225" frameborder="0" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/40878041">Far Above: The Campaign for Kansas</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/kuendowment">KU Endowment</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>

:Lin:

Bane
04-30-2012, 08:44 PM
Head on with a 18 wheelers doing 120 on the bike.

cdcox
04-30-2012, 08:44 PM
antifreeze

Bowser
04-30-2012, 08:45 PM
Head on with a 18 wheelers doing 120 on the bike.

Yeah, that'd do it.

We call that Mad Max-ing yourself.

Molitoth
04-30-2012, 08:45 PM
Quick - Gun.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 08:46 PM
i would think that jumping off a high building or cliff would be the most efficient

one step and the decision is made, i would think you would die so quickly that you would barely feel it.

That's what I was thinking. Seems the easiest.

SPchief
04-30-2012, 08:47 PM
15 posts in and no Anitfreeze yet?

This place is slipping.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 08:48 PM
leave candy wrappers strewn about the Arrowhead offices.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 08:48 PM
15 posts in and no Anitfreeze yet?

This place is slipping.

:doh!:
what the hell has the planet come to?

cdcox
04-30-2012, 08:49 PM
15 posts in and no Anitfreeze yet?

This place is slipping.

Post 12 delivers.

Bwana
04-30-2012, 08:50 PM
15 posts in and no Anitfreeze yet?

This place is slipping.

Check again, Stevie Wonder.

BigRedChief
04-30-2012, 08:50 PM
fucking till the cornary kicks in.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 08:51 PM
OR,

trespass on Bwana's property, and when confronted, sneer at him and say "I don't think you've got it in you.....pussy"

...then, just see what happens.

CrazyPhuD
04-30-2012, 08:52 PM
Honey covered genitals staked over a fire ant mound.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 08:52 PM
Interesting thread!

I think it depends on how I'm feeling at the time. I would like to pour gas all over myself, even drink alittle, and then light a match. It's what I get for being such a douche. But I think I'm to big a pussy to do that.

Pulling a gun on a cop seems easy and exciting, probably the most likely way id go. But then you gotta think about the poor cop with your death on his conscience. Hopefully it could be a crazy cop that likes killing people. Then you did him a favor.

kysirsoze
04-30-2012, 08:53 PM
Gun, I guess.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 08:53 PM
OR,

trespass on Bwana's property, and when confronted, sneer at him and say "I don't think you've got it in you.....pussy"

...then, just see what happens.

He doesn't have it in him.

Fish
04-30-2012, 08:54 PM
Injection of Naegleria fowleri...

SPchief
04-30-2012, 08:54 PM
Post 12 delivers.

doh

Dayze
04-30-2012, 08:54 PM
Interesting thread!

I think it depends on how I'm feeling at the time. I would like to pour gas all over myself, even drink alittle, and then light a match. It's what I get for being such a douche. But I think I'm to big a pussy to do that.


http://img.yaboon.com/movie/screen/182864/15.jpg

cdcox
04-30-2012, 08:54 PM
Knock on Frazod's door wearing this:

http://ozonehouse.org/images/give/apofridgedrive.jpg

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 08:54 PM
Gun, I guess.

What if you just fuck yourself up and don't sure? Sounds easy, I'll just shoot myself! But so many things can go wrong.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 08:55 PM
He doesn't have it in him.

i agree. he probably carries a rape whistle.

kysirsoze
04-30-2012, 08:55 PM
Interesting thread!

I think it depends on how I'm feeling at the time. I would like to pour gas all over myself, even drink alittle, and then light a match. It's what I get for being such a douche. But I think I'm to big a pussy to do that.

Pulling a fun on a cop seems easy and exciting, probably the most likely way id go. But then you gotta think about the poor cop with your death on his conscience. Hopefully it could be a crazy cop that likes killing people. Then you did him a favor.

I wouldn't want to give "crazy cop" the satisfaction. If I was going this route, I'd probably go crazy vigilante and run around macing and tasing violent criminals in bad neighborhoods until I got got.

Bowser
04-30-2012, 08:55 PM
Knock on Frazod's door wearing this:

http://ozonehouse.org/images/give/apofridgedrive.jpg

Winnah, winnah

Dayze
04-30-2012, 08:55 PM
Knock on Frazod's door wearing this:

http://ozonehouse.org/images/give/apofridgedrive.jpg

LMAOLMAOLMAO

kysirsoze
04-30-2012, 08:56 PM
What if you just **** yourself up and don't sure? Sounds easy, I'll just shoot myself! But so many things can go wrong.

What if I shoot myself while standing with my back to to edge of a high rooftop?

NewChief
04-30-2012, 08:58 PM
Worst suicide story I've heard lately was out of Denver from some folks we know in a professional association. The father basically discovered they were dead broke and decided to off himself. He and his young son were huge Star Wars fans. Before offing himself he sent his son a text saying, "May the force be with you." What kind of ****ed up shit is that? Heartbreaking.

Probably so fucked up to me as well because my youngest and I share a love of Star Wars and talk about it constantly.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 08:59 PM
Worst suicide story I've heard lately was out of Denver from some folks we know in a professional association. The father basically discovered they were dead broke and decided to off himself. He and his young son were huge Star Wars fans. Before offing himself he sent his son a text saying, "May the force be with you." What kind of fucked up shit is that? Heartbreaking.

Maybe the son will be better off without him.

ChiefsNow
04-30-2012, 09:00 PM
Hire someone to kill you, and then don't pay them.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:01 PM
Hire someone to kill you, and then don't pay them.

jfc....LMAO
so awesome.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:02 PM
Hire someone to kill you, and then don't pay them.

Will they still kill you? Our kill everyone you love and leave you alive? That'd be a bummer.

Bwana
04-30-2012, 09:03 PM
What if I shoot myself while standing with my back to to edge of a high rooftop?

Hmm? Gas the room, toss a match while standing on something with a noose around your neck then shoot yourself?

Result: head toast, neck broken, body well done. (dirt nap) :hmmm:

Bowser
04-30-2012, 09:03 PM
Suicide is a pretty selfish act, maybe the most selfish act. I don't think I have that in me.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:03 PM
Hmm? Gas the room, toss a match while standing on something with a noose around your neck then shoot yourself?

Result: head toast, neck broken, body well done. (dirt nap) :hmmm:

This sounds legit.

pr_capone
04-30-2012, 09:06 PM
I would jerk off twice a day and collect it in a jar until I had enough jizz to put in a kiddie pool and drown myself.

rico
04-30-2012, 09:06 PM
If I had to....

Well, I'd probably start out by loading myself up with some benzos and take it from there unless I passed out first.

Fish
04-30-2012, 09:07 PM
If I had to....

Well, I'd probably start out by loading myself up with some benzos and take it from there unless I passed out first.

Sounds like Monday.

Bowser
04-30-2012, 09:08 PM
I would jerk off twice a day and collect it in a jar until I had enough jizz to put in a kiddie pool and drown myself.

Jesus. I want to put a bag over my head after reading that.

luv
04-30-2012, 09:09 PM
I think you think about suicide too much.

pr_capone
04-30-2012, 09:09 PM
Jesus. I want to put a bag over my head after reading that.

LMAO

Count Alex's Wins
04-30-2012, 09:10 PM
Knock on Frazod's door wearing this:

http://ozonehouse.org/images/give/apofridgedrive.jpg

Goddamn post of the year.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:10 PM
I would want to be alone for sure. No witnesses. And painful. Maybe chop limbs off and force feed them to myself.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:11 PM
drop a ton of LSD and put the movie "Inception" on......on repeat.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:12 PM
I think you think about suicide too much.

You'd chocolate yourself to death, wouldn't you?

I mean, if you had to.

Gadzooks
04-30-2012, 09:13 PM
I heard of a guy who jumped in front of a subway and got twisted between the train and the platform. He was still alive.
They couldn't save him and moving the train would have finished the job. They called his family and he said his last goodbyes then moved the train so service could resume.

I doubt you guy’s have subways in KC so you could try to jump in front of a horse and buggy and hope you don’t end up in a similar embarrassing situation.

Or, you could jump into a flaming AIDS tree…PBJ

Baconeater
04-30-2012, 09:14 PM
What an awful thread topic. WTF Joey?

pr_capone
04-30-2012, 09:16 PM
What an awful thread topic. WTF Joey?

Lighten up Luv Bugeater.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:17 PM
How does hanging work anyways? Is it suffocation or just neck breaking?

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:18 PM
What an awful thread topic. WTF Joey?

I thought everyone would enjoy a good hypothetical.

kysirsoze
04-30-2012, 09:19 PM
How does hanging work anyways? Is it suffocation or just neck breaking?

Neck breaking if you do it right, strangulation if you don't.

pr_capone
04-30-2012, 09:19 PM
How does hanging work anyways? Is it suffocation or just neck breaking?

Suffocation if you do it wrong. Neck breaking if you do it right... though in the end they are both equally effective.

Easy 6
04-30-2012, 09:19 PM
I'd start by first reading this thread....

ROFL x pi

/end thread

Discuss Thrower
04-30-2012, 09:20 PM
I hear smoking does the trick.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:20 PM
get high on PCP and wear a full Chiefs Uniform to Oakland Collesium during a Chiefs/Oakland game.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:20 PM
I'm not good at knot tying anyways.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:25 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/6b220444-497d-9ca6.jpg

What about toilet bowl cleaner? Would it work or just fuck up your insides?

mlyonsd
04-30-2012, 09:27 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/6b220444-497d-9ca6.jpg

What about toilet bowl cleaner? Would it work or just **** up your insides?I say it won't. Try it and let us know.

Lumpy
04-30-2012, 09:28 PM
I tried to kill myself once. Electric razor to the wrist. That doesn't work, btw. I would have known that had I watched, "Bachelor Party" first. :facepalm:

LMAO

Seriously though, I couldn't imagine killing myself knowing that my son would eventually learn about what happened. I wouldn't want to have that haunt him, my husband, and my family for their entire lives.

Nobody is perfect and life is what it is. You are the only one that can change it.

pr_capone
04-30-2012, 09:28 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/6b220444-497d-9ca6.jpg

What about toilet bowl cleaner? Would it work or just **** up your insides?

/must... resist... photoshopping... a gigantic black cock in place of the cleaner

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:29 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/6b220444-497d-9ca6.jpg

What about toilet bowl cleaner? Would it work or just **** up your insides?

well, it should work. i mean, the brand is "The works".

so, good choice. better than the value brand of "Kind Of , Sort Of"

Lumpy
04-30-2012, 09:30 PM
/must... resist... photoshopping... a gigantic black cock in place of the cleaner

ROFL

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:31 PM
/must... resist... photoshopping... a gigantic black cock in place of the cleaner

Why's it have to be black?

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:32 PM
/must... resist... photoshopping... a gigantic black cock in place of the cleaner

Sofa/Loochy...


.... you know what must be done.

Phobia
04-30-2012, 09:32 PM
Head on with a 18 wheelers doing 120 on the bike.
Why you have to traumatize some poor truck driver and ruin his ride? Hitting a tree, telephone pole, or any other inanimate object at that speed will spread your tissue over 200 feet anyway.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:33 PM
Why you have to traumatize some poor truck driver and ruin his ride? Hitting a tree, telephone pole, or any other inanimate object at that speed will spread your tissue over 200 feet anyway.

....and waste a perfectly good motorcycle.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:34 PM
Why you have to traumatize some poor truck driver and ruin his ride? Hitting a tree, telephone pole, or any other inanimate object at that speed will spread your tissue over 200 feet anyway.

This.

This is why I don't think I would do the cop thing. I mean, it's a cool idea because it was in the outsiders, but I'd rather not involve anybody else.

Lumpy
04-30-2012, 09:35 PM
I get the feeling that this thread topic has something to do w/ the draft. :hmmm:

rico
04-30-2012, 09:36 PM
I take it back, if I HAD to commit suicide, I would write a note that read, "if anything bad happens to me, it was done by some man (or woman) with the username: H5N5 who posts on chiefsplanet.com" Then I would put the note in my pocket and shoot myself.

mlyonsd
04-30-2012, 09:36 PM
Why you have to traumatize some poor truck driver and ruin his ride? Hitting a tree, telephone pole, or any other inanimate object at that speed will spread your tissue over 200 feet anyway.I agree. It would be better if you got the attention of a trooper and have him follow you with his camera going and then slam into a bridge support at 125. Eventually we could all see it posted here.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:37 PM
I agree. It would be better if you got the attention of a trooper and have him follow you with his camera going and then slam into a bridge support at 125. Eventually we could all see it posted here.

That would help everybody!

Yeah, I'm starting to think if my death can't be funny, then why was I alive?

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:37 PM
smash GoChiefs Star Wars collection using the Increbile Hulk Gloves.

....I would see the rage of GoChiefs.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:39 PM
smash GoChiefs Star Wars collection using the Increbile Hulk Gloves.

....I would see the rage of GoChiefs.

Were talking about killing yourself, not getting a blowjob.

pr_capone
04-30-2012, 09:39 PM
Why's it have to be black?

you prefer white cocks?

fucking racist.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:40 PM
Were talking about killing yourself, not getting a blowjob.

LMAO

good point. Time to re-evaluate.

Baconeater
04-30-2012, 09:40 PM
LMAO Ok, that pic of Joey drinking drain cleaner has made this thread worthwhile.

mlyonsd
04-30-2012, 09:41 PM
That would help everybody!

Yeah, I'm starting to think if my death can't be funny, then why was I alive?You really think people would laugh?

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:41 PM
that pic of Joey should be used after each Chiefs blowout loss.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:43 PM
You really think people would laugh?

I would hope so.

J Diddy
04-30-2012, 09:44 PM
I take it back, if I HAD to commit suicide, I would write a note that read, "if anything bad happens to me, it was done by some man (or woman) with the username: H5N5 who posts on chiefsplanet.com" Then I would put the note in my pocket and shoot myself.

I don't know dick about CSI, however I think I could figure that out.

rico
04-30-2012, 09:49 PM
I don't know dick about CSI, however I think I could figure that out.

I'm from Iowa. I'm surrounded by Iowans.

Another option would be stripping my clothes off and wrapping myself in an American flag and writing a note that reads, "Dear Scott Pioli, Americans are dying due to your refusal to start Stanzi." Then I would shoot myself. The "I am a Real American" song blaring on repeat, of course.

mlyonsd
04-30-2012, 09:51 PM
I would hope so.Naw, they wouldn't. It would be more a WTF? followed by :shake:

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:51 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/6b220444-4fb3-e1d8.jpg

oh the irony

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:52 PM
lol....wtf.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:52 PM
I swear that I do not have a sharpened Nirvana dvd.

rico
04-30-2012, 09:53 PM
http://img.tapatalk.com/6b220444-4fb3-e1d8.jpg

oh the irony

I didn't know Trent Green was a Nirvana fan.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:53 PM
LMAO
I love this place.

Psyko Tek
04-30-2012, 09:56 PM
If you absolutely had to kill yourself, how would you do it? Quick, because you just want to hurry up? Slow, because you hate yourself and think you deserve to burn to death? Or would you do it in the funniest way possible?

What do you guys think?

I WOULD MEET YOU AND LET YOU TALK ME TO DEATH

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:56 PM
I WOULD MEET YOU AND LET YOU TALK ME TO DEATH

AWESOME WE SHOULD DO LUNCH SOMETIME

Bowser
04-30-2012, 09:57 PM
So what's the issue here, Joe? Upset that the wife hasn't given you the threesome she promised since before you got married? You wrecked the car again? Your mom found a steady boyfriend/lay?

The floor is yours.

mlyonsd
04-30-2012, 09:57 PM
Setting up a camera and running out in front of a rolling locomotive in a Super Man stance could be awesome.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 09:57 PM
Did you guys know kurt cobain wanted Nirvana's last cd to be titled, 'I hate myself and I want to die'?

Dayze
04-30-2012, 09:58 PM
waiting for the Chiefs to get to the AFC championship game, knocking out Succop, stealing his uniform, and shanking the game winning field goal badly to the right.


...nevermind. I'd be waiting forever.

peckergnat
04-30-2012, 09:59 PM
Step 1. - Acquire several feet of industrial grade cheese wire and super glue
Step 2. - Tie wire to ceiling joist and around my neck
Step 3. - Super glue hands to head
Step 4. - Jump off chair

When you are found it will appear you ripped your own head off

Dayze
04-30-2012, 10:00 PM
Step 1. - Acquire several feet of industrial grade cheese wire and super glue
Step 2. - Tie wire to ceiling joist and around my neck
Step 3. - Super glue hands to head
Step 4. - Jump off chair

When you are found it will appear you ripped your own head off

step 2a: get roided up for about a year to look like a muscle freak.


or, super glue a smile on your face; super glue your eyes wide open. pop a bottle pills; set DVD to come on 2 hours later with hardcore midget porn set on repeat.
super glue hand to wiener.

sit in chair and wait to be discovered.

rico
04-30-2012, 10:06 PM
waiting for the Chiefs to get to the AFC championship game, knocking out Succop, stealing his uniform, and shanking the game winning field goal badly to the right.


...nevermind. I'd be waiting forever.

Lol, that brings up another thought. Someone could do a lot of damage to themselves if they were to make a customized (because I'm sure there were never any real ones sold) "kicker who's name we do not mention" jersey and wear it to the next Colts vs. Chiefs game at Arrowhead.

Pablo
04-30-2012, 10:09 PM
I'd give myself a rubber cement enema and wait until my own fecal matter pushed through my diaphragm and surrounded and crushed my heart.

rico
04-30-2012, 10:10 PM
I'd give myself a rubber cement enema and wait until my own fecal matter pushed through my diaphragm and surrounded and crushed my heart.

Are those lyrics from a Cannibal Corpse song?

Dayze
04-30-2012, 10:11 PM
I'd give myself a rubber cement enema and wait until my own fecal matter pushed through my diaphragm and surrounded and crushed my heart.

Person 1: "I can't believe he killed himself. He seemed so happy"

Person 2: "Nah. He was full of shit there towards the end"

Person 1: "True. Screw that guy"

Person 2: "Yep. Let's get a beer".

Shogun
04-30-2012, 10:11 PM
I would gorilla glue my hands to my head, and hang myself with velveeta cheese wire. It would looked like I pulled my head off of my shoulders.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 10:12 PM
I would gorilla glue my hands to my heat, and hang myself with velveeta cheese wire. It would looked like I pulled my head off of my shoulders.

you could also hit yourself in the head with a re-post

Mr. Flopnuts
04-30-2012, 10:25 PM
The problem with us Human Beings is that we live in the past, and allow it to affect our future. As long as we learn from our mistakes and are not doomed to repeat them, there is no point hanging onto the gult, and the shame that come with our mistakes. I'd advise waking up everyday, looking into the mirror, and saying "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present".

LoneWolf
04-30-2012, 10:26 PM
I would start a band and write one good song that everyone overhypes. Marry a druggie bitch in a shitty band. Act like my fame its such a burden that I can't stand to live. Seclude
myself in a house and do enough heroin to kill a small village. After my death, it would finally be revealed that the drummer in my band was actually the talented one.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 10:26 PM
The problem with us Human Beings is that we live in the past, and allow it to affect our future. As long as we learn from our mistakes and are not doomed to repeat them, there is no point hanging onto the gult, and the shame that come with our mistakes. I'd advise waking up everyday, looking into the mirror, and saying "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present".

But if you HAD to kill yourself, how would you go about it?

Mr. Flopnuts
04-30-2012, 10:27 PM
But if you HAD to kill yourself, how would you go about it?

I'm a pussy. I'd blow my brains out.

Discuss Thrower
04-30-2012, 10:27 PM
But if you HAD to kill yourself, how would you go about it?

"Accidentally" wander into a nuclear detonation.

Baconeater
04-30-2012, 10:27 PM
I would start a band and write one good song that everyone overhypes. Marry a druggie bitch in a shitty band. Act like my fame its such a burden that I can't stand to live. Seclude
myself in a house and do enough heroin to kill a small village. After my death, it would finally be revealed that the drummer in my band was actually the talented one.
What was the one good song?

Mr. Flopnuts
04-30-2012, 10:28 PM
Actually, I'd probably eat a shit ton of pain pills and try to OD. I'd find a way to get higher than a motherfucker.

LoneWolf
04-30-2012, 10:30 PM
What was the one good song?

Rape me.

ChiefsNow
04-30-2012, 10:32 PM
How does hanging work anyways? Is it suffocation or just neck breaking?

It is suffocation at neck breaking speed.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 10:32 PM
I would start a band and write one good song that everyone overhypes. Marry a druggie bitch in a shitty band. Act like my fame its such a burden that I can't stand to live. Seclude
myself in a house and do enough heroin to kill a small village.

This is ideal if you can pull it off.

Trevo_410
04-30-2012, 10:35 PM
they never let my cousin win wtf man (Juice)

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5RqDORV0UlM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

blaise
04-30-2012, 10:35 PM
I wouldn't, but that one dude at the end of the movie (I think, The Bridge it's called) stands on the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge and sort of jumps backwards. I guess that would be the way.
I don't know, though. If I ever got that down I'd pack my shit, jump in a car and drive to a new town. Go just sort of disappear from the people causing me problems. Move to a new city or a small town in a different state.

Ebolapox
04-30-2012, 10:36 PM
I take it back, if I HAD to commit suicide, I would write a note that read, "if anything bad happens to me, it was done by some man (or woman) with the username: H5N5 who posts on chiefsplanet.com" Then I would put the note in my pocket and shoot myself.

it's H5N1, you dipshit. get it right, moron.

Dayze
04-30-2012, 10:37 PM
it's H5N1, you dipshit. get it right, moron.

H5N5 is screwed then.

Joe Seahawk
04-30-2012, 10:38 PM
I would be a QB and line up against Bruce Irvin.


http://i51.tinypic.com/apk8dg.jpg

Ebolapox
04-30-2012, 10:40 PM
H5N5 is screwed then.

poor bastard never had a chance.

Setsuna
04-30-2012, 10:40 PM
Why's it have to be black?

Dumb question. :facepalm:

Simply Red
04-30-2012, 10:46 PM
Joey is this your version of a brianfo thread? I'm asking because nobody else has. You aight?

ChiefsNow
04-30-2012, 10:46 PM
Will they still kill you? Our kill everyone you love and leave you alive? That'd be a bummer.

If they killed everyone you know, You could start over and have something to live for again.

rico
04-30-2012, 10:50 PM
poor bastard never had a chance.

SORRY!!!

H1N1

Bowser
04-30-2012, 10:50 PM
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0807/silence-wann1e-demotivational-poster-1217008369.jpg

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 10:51 PM
If they killed everyone you know, You could start over and have something to live for again.

Oh, I like it.

This poses a good spin-off question.

If you had to kill everyone you love and care about, how would you do it?

Easy 6
04-30-2012, 11:08 PM
If you're not watching Don Rickels on Letterman... you. fail.

Carson would've been proud, two real pro's at their trade.

luv
04-30-2012, 11:09 PM
Why's it have to be black?

Because a white one that big wouldn't be believable.

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 11:10 PM
If you're not watching Don Rickels on Letterman... you. fail.

Carson would've been proud, two real pro's at their trade.

Yeah, I watched. Don't like letterman though.

Easy 6
04-30-2012, 11:22 PM
Yeah, I watched. Don't like letterman though.

Letterman is truly the last in line of generations of Old Time tv men.

When he's gone, it'll be like an extinction of a species.

Two-Twenty
04-30-2012, 11:44 PM
94 hour drug, alcohol and hooker binge

KurtCobain
04-30-2012, 11:49 PM
Letterman is truly the last in line of generations of Old Time tv men.

When he's gone, it'll be like an extinction of a species.

I know he's not an old time guy, but do you like kimmel?

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2012, 11:56 PM
the dogs are in the enclosed pool area

Easy 6
04-30-2012, 11:57 PM
I know he's not an old time guy, but do you like kimmel?

I do, Jimmy can be the hilarious skitmeister with good writers, the snide, hard question guy to a T... but he'll never have Daves underlying wink & nod humor.

Too much bitter irony, not enough heart.

rico
05-01-2012, 12:30 AM
I know he's not an old time guy, but do you like kimmel?

Love Kimmel. Laughed my ass off when he had Mike Tyson as a special guest for like a week. I think he did this with Karl Malone as well (which he did an impression of on The Man Show) and that was also hilarious. Love the Guillermo skits.

KC Tattoo
05-01-2012, 12:31 AM
<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qjMF5zLbuCM?version=3&feature=player_detailpage"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qjMF5zLbuCM?version=3&feature=player_detailpage" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

Count Alex's Wins
05-01-2012, 12:32 AM
I hate that my internet is dead at home and I can't read this thread for more than a few minutes at Starbucks. SHIT!!!

Count Alex's Wins
05-01-2012, 12:35 AM
JOEY, NICE THREAD

LET'S HAVE A DUMBASS PHOTO-OFF IN A FEW DAYS OK BRO

Phobia
05-01-2012, 12:39 AM
it's H5N1, you dipshit. get it right, moron.

I could have sworn....

rico
05-01-2012, 12:42 AM
Oh, I like it.

This poses a good spin-off question.

If you had to kill everyone you love and care about, how would you do it?

I wouldn't touch that question with H1N1's dick.

In fact, if H1N1 has a dick, it probably hasn't ever touched anything.

In fact, if H1N1 has a dick, he probably doesn't even know it's there.

In fact, I doubt H1N1 has a dick.

In fact, if H1N1 doesn't have a dick, I bet she hasn't ever seen one.

Which all sounds unfitting because H1N1 is a dick.

J Diddy
05-01-2012, 12:48 AM
I hate that my internet is dead at home and I can't read this thread for more than a few minutes at Starbucks. SHIT!!!

Is that really what you're doing? Hanging out at starbucks for CP?

J Diddy
05-01-2012, 12:50 AM
I wouldn't touch that question with H1N1's dick.

In fact, if H1N1 has a dick, it probably hasn't ever touched anything.

In fact, if H1N1 has a dick, he probably doesn't even know it's there.

In fact, I doubt H1N1 has a dick.

In fact, if H1N1 doesn't have a dick, I bet she hasn't ever seen one.

Which all sounds unfitting because H1N1 is a dick.

me thinks thou dost protest too much

KC Tattoo
05-01-2012, 01:01 AM
My suggestions of what not to do.

I wouldn't drink alcohol and then take a handful dose of trazadone. :shake:

I wouldn't drive a jeep eagle drunk and somehow wreck and about go through the windshield. :shake:

I wouldn't take a full bottle of 800mg prescript Ibroprophen :shake:

I wouldn't try pushing a #2 lead pincil through my wrist :shake:

I wouldn't try cutting my wrist with any sharp object :shake:

I wouldn't try drowning myself :shake:

I wouldn't try strangling myself with an extention cord :shake:

rico
05-01-2012, 01:04 AM
me thinks thou dost protest too much

Probably. On a serious note, I really am just doinking around. H1N1 jabbed at me first in the "Who Would Win in a Fight Between Bruce Lee and Mike Tyson" thread and I thought it was kind of funny, but whenever I've felt the urge to be a dipshit to someone on here, it's usually been towards H1N1, which honestly hasn't worked in my favor... friggin guy (or girl) has gotten the best of me in any exchange we've had (excluding my Bruce Lee vs. Mike Tyson response) due to his cunning grammar police skills.

rico
05-01-2012, 01:08 AM
My suggestions of what not to do.

I wouldn't drink alcohol and then take a handful dose of trazadone. :shake:

I wouldn't drive a jeep eagle drunk and somehow wreck and about go through the windshield. :shake:

I wouldn't take a full bottle of 800mg prescript Ibroprophen :shake:

I wouldn't try pushing a #2 lead pincil through my wrist :shake:

I wouldn't try cutting my wrist with any sharp object :shake:

I wouldn't try drowning myself :shake:

I wouldn't try strangling myself with an extention cord :shake:

Well... yeah, I can see how failing at these could make the remainder of your life more difficult than it was before.

KC Tattoo
05-01-2012, 01:26 AM
Well... yeah, I can see how failing at these could make the remainder of your life more difficult than it was before.

I wouldn't call it failing, just learning experiences of what not to do.

KurtCobain
05-01-2012, 01:32 AM
Starbucks is open at 1230 at night?

rico
05-01-2012, 01:35 AM
I wouldn't call it failing, just learning experiences of what not to do.

Oh....my bad dude.

KurtCobain
05-01-2012, 01:41 AM
I think beating yourself to death with like, a battery for a go cart or something, would be a good one. That'd be showing yourself.

KC Tattoo
05-01-2012, 01:44 AM
Oh....my bad dude.

You didn't say anything wrong, I'm cool today with things. I'm pretty much grateful today with the way things are working out right now so it's just a one day at a time life and learn how to make the best of it.

Great thread Cobain. Your not the only one who has had a fucked up life just deal with it. Never easy but take it easy.

KurtCobain
05-01-2012, 01:46 AM
I always take it easy.

Mr. Flopnuts
05-01-2012, 01:53 AM
I always take it easy.

If she's easy, take her again.

corn fed chief
05-01-2012, 04:33 AM
I'd go out trying to 1 up Evel Knievel. Think of the most badass and impossible stunt and try to pull it off. That way I could kill myself on national television without my son thinking his father was a pussy who decided to take his own life and maybe even leave some endorsement moneys for my family.

ChiefsNow
05-01-2012, 04:40 AM
Wait for the election campaign and run (in slow motion) towards Obama with a nerf axe in your hand.

JD10367
05-01-2012, 08:14 AM
I'd put on a hoodie and walk through a gated community in Florida. /DCforumbound

Dayze
05-01-2012, 08:51 AM
get a hang glider and glide into an active volcano.

Frazod
05-01-2012, 09:06 AM
I'd put on a hoodie and walk through a gated community in Florida. /DCforumbound

Don't forget your Skittles!

Frazod
05-01-2012, 09:10 AM
Knock on Frazod's door wearing this:

http://ozonehouse.org/images/give/apofridgedrive.jpg

LMAO

Shoot one appliance, get labeled for life......

Lzen
05-01-2012, 10:20 AM
LMAO

Shoot one appliance, get labeled for life......

Duh! This IS Chiefs Planet, after all. :evil:

Nzoner
05-01-2012, 10:32 AM
What if you just **** yourself up and don't sure? Sounds easy, I'll just shoot myself! But so many things can go wrong.

Watch the documentary on James Vance to see just how wrong it can go.

http://hem.bredband.net/niknyk/pics2/sss.jpg

rico
05-01-2012, 10:56 AM
You didn't say anything wrong, I'm cool today with things. I'm pretty much grateful today with the way things are working out right now so it's just a one day at a time life and learn how to make the best of it.

Great thread Cobain. Your not the only one who has had a ****ed up life just deal with it. Never easy but take it easy.

I noticed the clowning and just found myself in the mode where I thought everyone was clowning and misinterpreted your post. I'm glad your not offended... I can clown around about anything, including things that I am sentimental about, suicide/self-destructive tendencies being one of those things...and honestly, I can relate. I haven't exactly shown a pattern of being the most consistently "content with life" person myself throughout the years.

Hog Farmer
05-01-2012, 11:38 AM
The only way I'd kill myself is if I ever did something that killed my child , you know like cleaning a gun and oops. The wife not so much, I'd probably have a beer and call it a day.

rico
05-01-2012, 11:50 AM
The only way I'd kill myself is if I ever did something that killed my child , you know like cleaning a gun and oops. The wife not so much, I'd probably have a beer and call it a day.

I know someone who accidentally did this (with his truck, his boy was playing hide and go seek and was hiding behind his tire). I am friends with the kid's older brother..... the brother has explained to me, in detail, the specifics of the situation from what he can remember (he was 8 years old). It was awful for them, as it would be to anyone else. When I became older and understood that situation a little better, I have made it a habit to peak behind my tires in case one of my little brothers or daughter, or ANY kid is near the vehicle.

BigCatDaddy
05-01-2012, 12:04 PM
Fly an airplane into Phelps church on a Sunday morning.

rico
05-01-2012, 12:08 PM
Fly an airplane into Phelps church on a Sunday morning.

Nice one.... I hate Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church more than about anything. I wonder how many people protest his funeral when he croaks. Of course, doing so may inadvertently be showing him too much respect because it would be practicing what he preaches.

Frazod
05-01-2012, 12:08 PM
Jumping in front of a speeding train always seems to be effective. It is a bit messy, however.

Dayze
05-01-2012, 12:10 PM
Watch the documentary on James Vance to see just how wrong it can go.

http://hem.bredband.net/niknyk/pics2/sss.jpg

...striking resemblance to Fisty McTatt

Ace Gunner
05-01-2012, 12:10 PM
ultra lite & a vest of C4 flying at the commish, owner, QB & GM on the field.

or this;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAekdzFOHI8

boogblaster
05-01-2012, 12:46 PM
12 gauge-pump .. in mouth .....

KurtCobain
05-01-2012, 01:33 PM
12 gauge-pump .. in mouth .....

How original.

Hog Farmer
05-01-2012, 02:28 PM
Jumping in front of a speeding train always seems to be effective. It is a bit messy, however.


Prove it !

kaplin42
05-01-2012, 02:54 PM
Charlie Sheen it!

.5 Kilo Blow
.5 Kilo Meth
.5 Kilo Heroin
.5 Sheet Acid
Handel of Jack daniels
Full prescription of Viagra
Lindsy Lohan (Not because she is hawt, just because she is the only chick I can think of that would think that this would be a good time, plus if the drugs don't kill me, the STD's from her would finish off the job).

Frazod
05-01-2012, 02:56 PM
Prove it !

I think you should go OD on boar semen.

Count Alex's Wins
05-01-2012, 03:00 PM
Starbucks is open at 1230 at night?

No, they're closed. But I had some e-errands to run, so I went down there and leeched off their wifi for a few minutes. They leave it on all night. :evil:

JD10367
05-01-2012, 03:43 PM
Watch the documentary on James Vance to see just how wrong it can go.

http://hem.bredband.net/niknyk/pics2/sss.jpg

Must've been the Turbo Lover album. That made me want to shoot myself too.

beach tribe
05-01-2012, 04:12 PM
I'd be feeling pretty "capital" for a little while before I die.

beach tribe
05-01-2012, 04:17 PM
Must've been the Turbo Lover album. That made me want to shoot myself too.

Why do they bring up the fact that JP was the last music he listened too?

"Johnny Lownlynsad slit his wrists today"
"He had blueberry pancakes this morning for breakfast."

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 04:52 PM
I would encroach on the neutral zone.

Dayze
05-01-2012, 04:59 PM
have sechs with John Randall's wife.

ChiefsNow
05-01-2012, 05:03 PM
shove a whole bundle of extra long Q-tips in your ears and drive them in with a hammer.

Dayze
05-01-2012, 05:07 PM
shove a whole bundle of extra long Q-tips in your ears and drive them in with a hammer.

43214321
GD....now my ear hurts.

Nzoner
05-01-2012, 10:59 PM
Why do they bring up the fact that JP was the last music he listened too?
"

It was part of a documentary

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kluwZsiko8Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Nzoner
05-02-2012, 11:56 AM
Never was a big fan of Priest myself although I did see them open for KISS in '79

acesn8s
05-03-2012, 07:33 AM
Junior clearly decided to go the Kurt Cobain route. Though I have been told that the gunshot route is very effective but equally messy. Since you know that someone will find you (and quite possibly a family member) a cleaner method should be considered.

Chopped Meat
05-03-2012, 04:18 PM
I would probably shoot up some heroin for the first time. If I OD, fuck it. If I survive, at least I would have an out of this world, euphoric experience to bring me up.

lcarus
05-03-2012, 04:40 PM
Quick - Gun.

Same here. I'd go with a gun that would for sure do the trick too. No 9 mm or anything

KCBOSS1
05-03-2012, 05:07 PM
I'd strap a bomb to myself and find the largest terrorist camp I could find.

KurtCobain
05-03-2012, 05:28 PM
I would probably shoot up some heroin for the first time. If I OD, fuck it. If I survive, at least I would have an out of this world, euphoric experience to bring me up.

Winner.