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Sucky
05-01-2012, 08:53 PM
Just another reason why I have a cat

A baby's first birthday party turned tragic when he was killed by the family's dog during the celebration.

WARNING -- Graphic Description Below:

The Las Vegas Sun reports that the 120-pound Mastiff/Rhodesian mix had never displayed any previous signs of aggression toward people, according to the family who lives in Henderson, Nev.

The baby crawled over to the dog to pet him, the police reported. The Daily Mail writes that Chris Shahan, the baby's father, believes his son tried to grab the dog’s fur to stand up when the dog reacted.

The dog ... latched his jaws around the boy's head and began shaking him, police said. The grandmother attempted to pull the boy from the dog while other family members rushed to help, police said.
Las Vegas Review-Journal reports Shahan said, "I got the dog off the baby ... I tried to save my baby."

According to the reporter in the My News 3 KSNV video below, Shahan "wants to be clear that this was an accident, not some kind of vicious attack."

According to KLAS-TV, the dog will be observed for rabies, and will then be euthanized.



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/29/baby-killed-by-dog_n_1462963.html

http://www.opposingviews.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/300x250/featured_image/jeremyandmastiff.jpg

La literatura
05-01-2012, 08:57 PM
Family is having a really ruff time right now.

Count Zarth
05-01-2012, 08:57 PM
That child will never know the wonders of grades K-9.

BigMeatballDave
05-01-2012, 08:59 PM
I'm surprised the dog wasnt called a Pittbull.

Discuss Thrower
05-01-2012, 09:00 PM
Family is having a really ruff time right now.

Wow.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:00 PM
The baby's paw should have been paying better attention.

Count Zarth
05-01-2012, 09:01 PM
It's a dog eat kid world.

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 09:02 PM
What a bitch.

thebrad84
05-01-2012, 09:02 PM
That's horrible. Can't imagine the horrors that family is going through having to experience something like that.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 09:02 PM
I dont have kids but I would NEVER have a huge dog when I have a baby living at home. Seems like the parents should be held responsible as well.

Pablo
05-01-2012, 09:03 PM
Scruff McGruff got tired of taking a bite out of crime; and went after kids instead.

Count Zarth
05-01-2012, 09:06 PM
The parents must be barking mad about this incident

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 09:06 PM
I dont have kids but I would NEVER have a huge dog when I have a baby living at home. Seems like the parents should be held responsible as well.

The last thing the parents need is to be hounded by authorities.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:07 PM
People that place the blame on the breed are just barking up the wrong tree.

Pablo
05-01-2012, 09:08 PM
The last thing the parents need is to be hounded by authorities.

I agree. They should call off the dogs on this one.

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 09:09 PM
What a moment of terrier for this family. Doggone awful, if you ask me.

Bane
05-01-2012, 09:10 PM
So much for taking a bite out of crime.

cabletech94
05-01-2012, 09:11 PM
this world has gone to the dogs.

Bacon Cheeseburger
05-01-2012, 09:13 PM
What a sad tail.

notorious
05-01-2012, 09:14 PM
Fuck each and every last one of you.

BigMeatballDave
05-01-2012, 09:14 PM
Damn you bastards for making me laugh in this thread LMAO

Rausch
05-01-2012, 09:15 PM
I dont have kids but I would NEVER have a huge dog when I have a baby living at home. Seems like the parents should be held responsible as well.

This.

It's not worth the risk...

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 09:16 PM
Fuck each and every last one of you.

Hey now, cool it. If you keep acting that way, I'll have a bone to pick with you.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 09:16 PM
lol at a kid dying.

:rolleyes:

Simply Red
05-01-2012, 09:17 PM
The last thing the parents need is to be hounded by authorities.




http://i49.tinypic.com/2qjlh7k.jpg

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 09:18 PM
lol at a kid dying.

:rolleyes:

Try laughing once in awhile...you may get a new leash in life.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 09:19 PM
Try laughing once in awhile...you may get a new leash in life.

Laughing at the death of a baby though??? Sorry no way.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:20 PM
Parents should have dog-eared the chapter in "What to Expect" about child safety.

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:21 PM
Laughing at the death of a baby though??? Sorry no way.What's the matter? Arf you mad?

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:21 PM
Try laughing once in awhile...you may get a new leash in life.

Pretty pathetic you're working your tail off to make light of this situation.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:23 PM
Alright, guys. Let's put a muzzle on these jokes.

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:23 PM
Pretty pathetic you're working your tail off to make light of this situation.
Way to roll over the tone of this thread

Pablo
05-01-2012, 09:23 PM
Laughing at the death of a baby though??? Sorry no way.

Why'd you post this thread then?

O HAI GUYZ just thought I'd pass along this depressing news story you probably never would have heard of otherwise.

Don't make fun. I want a serious discussion on the matter.

Count Zarth
05-01-2012, 09:23 PM
lol at a kid dying.

:rolleyes:

Better than a contributing member of society dying!

Discuss Thrower
05-01-2012, 09:25 PM
Knowing that this message board will always make shameless puns involving tragic events comforts me that this world will never end.

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:26 PM
Why'd you post this thread then?

O HAI GUYZ just thought I'd pass along this depressing news story you probably never would have heard of otherwise.

Don't make fun. I want a serious discussion on the matter.
This. It's very crucial that I see an "OMG what a nightmare for the parents poor kid" out of every poster.

Give me four pages of that and then we can get into a lengthy thread about responsible dog ownership.

GREAT THREAD!

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:26 PM
Knowing that this message board will always make shameless puns involving tragic events comforts me that this world will never end.

Some people just Rover around looking for bad news to latch on to.

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 09:28 PM
kibble.

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:29 PM
Alright, guys. Let's put a muzzle on these jokes.
Fidon't you stop reading this thread then?

Inmem58
05-01-2012, 09:30 PM
The jokes are sick dog gone it.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:30 PM
Iams just feeling really bad for the family right now.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:31 PM
Important lesson of the story is that parents need to be sure to vet their children's birthday guests.

DJJasonp
05-01-2012, 09:31 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9BBqgMQluDM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

cabletech94
05-01-2012, 09:31 PM
does anyone have a recipe for puppy chow?

Simply Red
05-01-2012, 09:32 PM
A late report indicated that the dog was retaliating for yrs. and yrs. of eating Walmart Brand 'Ol Roy'.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 09:33 PM
damn some of you guys are huge aholes. Making fun of a baby dying is heartless. Karma is a biatch.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:33 PM
does anyone have a recipe for puppy chow?

Don't forget a doggie bag for the extra limbs when you're through.

BigMeatballDave
05-01-2012, 09:34 PM
damn some of you guys are huge aholes. Making fun of a baby dying.

You should've been here for the "Girl De-feeted on an amusement ride" thread.

That was a hoot!

Bacon Cheeseburger
05-01-2012, 09:35 PM
I wonder if they got the blood Spot out of the carpet.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:35 PM
damn some of you guys are huge aholes. Making fun of a baby dying is heartless. Karma is a biatch.

It all depends on your perspective. I really like veal, so I can understand the dog's position. I'm not saying I'd do it, but it's reasonable.

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:36 PM
damn some of you guys are huge aholes. Making fun of a baby dying is heartless. Karma is a biatch.Quit hounding us!

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:39 PM
The family is having a beagler play Taps at the burial.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 09:39 PM
Do any of you have kids? Just curious

Saulbadguy
05-01-2012, 09:40 PM
Do any of you have kids? Just curious

A litter of them.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 09:40 PM
You should've been here for the "Girl De-feeted on an amusement ride" thread.

That was a hoot!

Dear lord, not sure I even want to know.:eek:

Al Bundy
05-01-2012, 09:41 PM
Try laughing once in awhile...you may get a new leash in life.

Ar first I was like :harumph:
Then I was like :shake:
Then I was like this :clap:
Finally I was like LMAO

Al Bundy
05-01-2012, 09:41 PM
Dear lord, not sure I even want to know.:eek:

That thread "interesting".

-King-
05-01-2012, 09:42 PM
damn some of you guys are huge aholes. Making fun of a baby dying is heartless. Karma is a biatch.

Not our fault. A normal person would flea when they saw the dog. The baby just stood there.

-King-
05-01-2012, 09:42 PM
Do any of you have kids? Just curious

I don't like where you're going with this so I have to ask you to paws and think about what you're saying.

-King-
05-01-2012, 09:44 PM
that dog doesn't like to be youth-inized

Now you've gone too fur.

ThaVirus
05-01-2012, 09:48 PM
Some quality stuff in here. You guys are clever...

On a serious note: holy shit! This is exactly why I beat the shit out of my dogs. I put my hand in his bowl while he's eating and if he growls- smack the shit out of him! Give him a good tail yank every once in a while to surprise him and if he snaps- smack the shit out of him! Gotta make sure shit like this doesn't go down when you've got little ones around.

Count Zarth
05-01-2012, 09:50 PM
this family just needs time to heel

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:51 PM
Not our fault. A normal person would flea when they saw the dog. The baby just stood there.Someone said "stay" to the dog, but the baby probably thought they were talking to him

rico
05-01-2012, 09:51 PM
They need more of these dogs in China. Then the population of youth in Asia will be easier to control.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 09:52 PM
So when someone has a serious prayer request on here(like a family member dying)...do you guys mock them as well or take it seriously?

Simply Red
05-01-2012, 09:52 PM
Some quality stuff in here. You guys are clever...

On a serious note: holy shit! This is exactly why I beat the shit out of my dogs. I put my hand in his bowl while he's eating and if he growls- smack the shit out of him! Give him a good tail yank every once in a while to surprise him and if he snaps- smack the shit out of him! Gotta make sure shit like this doesn't go down when you've got little ones around.

If you have a baby - get rid of the god damned house dog, or do not keep babies around a dog, period. Pretty simple, I just feel bad for the baby and the woodchipper girl, because it all resulted from parent stupidity.

stonedstooge
05-01-2012, 09:53 PM
Why did the kids dad stick up for the dog and say it was an accident, not an attack? The dog think the kids head was a ball to play with?

cabletech94
05-01-2012, 09:54 PM
They need more of these dogs in China. Then the population of youth in Asia will be easier to control.

dammit!

i was just gonna say "maybe the parents were trying a different take on spaying or neutering" on the child population.

Inmem58
05-01-2012, 09:54 PM
This kind of news is a real head shaker :-(

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:54 PM
Some quality stuff in here. You guys are clever...

On a serious note: holy shih-tzu! This is exactly why I beat the shit out of my dogs. I put my hand in his bowl while he's eating and if he growls- smack the shit out of him! Give him a good tail yank every once in a while to surprise him and if he snaps- smack the shit out of him! Gotta make sure shit like this doesn't go down when you've got little ones around.FYP

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:56 PM
So when someone has a serious prayer request on here(like a family member dying)...do you guys mock them as well or take it seriously?Why did you post this thread? Is this a piece of news relevant to our lives?

ThaVirus
05-01-2012, 09:57 PM
If you have a baby - get rid of the god damned house dog, or do not keep babies around a dog, period. Pretty simple, I just feel bad for the baby and the woodchipper girl, because it all resulted from parent stupidity.

Well I was just kind of talking out of my ass. I've yet to have kids and it's not like I relish the opportunity to hit my dogs (although that's the way I made it sound); but in the past I have been known to give them a fierce fist to the face if they did something I didn't like. I'm not one that stands for that back-talk shit. God bless my children!

But seriously, this is the first time I've ever heard about a story like this. I'd chalk this up as a freak accident story and not the norm. There are plenty of households with family pets and small children. For every one of these stories, you hear 10 about a dog saving an infants life.

La literatura
05-01-2012, 09:57 PM
Why did the kids dad stick up for the dog and say it was an accident, not an attack? The dog think the kids head was a ball to play with?

Because vicious dogs with owners + accident = negligence. When the accident is death, that means an investigation for negligent homicide.

And dealing with that really takes a bite out of your weekend.

SNR
05-01-2012, 09:58 PM
Because vicious dogs with owners + accident = negligence. When the accident is death, that means an investigation for negligent homicide.

And dealing with that really takes a bite out of your weekend.Life's a bichon

La literatura
05-01-2012, 10:01 PM
Why did you post this thread? Is this a piece of news relevant to our lives?

I just don't have the attention spaniel to really sit down and think about sad things for too long.

-King-
05-01-2012, 10:06 PM
This kind of news is a real head shaker :-(

Why? Do you have a dog in this fight?

Brock
05-01-2012, 10:07 PM
If your dog doesn't like someone, you probably shouldn't either. -anonymous

Bane
05-01-2012, 10:12 PM
Still no curly bill pic?

You fuckers are getting soft!

rico
05-01-2012, 10:13 PM
The dog was like, "go with Christ, brah."

Just Passin' By
05-01-2012, 10:14 PM
This thread is arful

rico
05-01-2012, 10:16 PM
So when someone has a serious prayer request on here(like a family member dying)...do you guys mock them as well or take it seriously?

I personally always think to myself, "SHUSH! KENNEL UP!"

ohiobronco2
05-01-2012, 10:17 PM
damn some of you guys are huge aholes. Making fun of a baby dying is heartless. Karma is a biatch.

You can keep trying to get people on here to be sympathetic, but I have a feeling that dog won't hunt.

Sucky
05-01-2012, 10:21 PM
You can keep trying to get people on here to be sympathetic

Fine I guess I was asking too much to find sympathy for a freakin baby dying. But when one of you dipshits has a prayer request on here, I'll be sure to post insensitive comments.;)

SNR
05-01-2012, 10:22 PM
Fine I guess I was asking too much to find sympathy for a freakin baby dying. But when one of you dipshits has a prayer request on here, I'll be sure to post insensitive comments.;)That sounds like a threat to me.

Reported.

Brock
05-01-2012, 10:23 PM
Fine I guess I was asking too much to find sympathy for a freakin baby dying. But when one of you dipshits has a prayer request on here, I'll be sure to post insensitive comments.;)

You should probably leave this thread with your tail between your legs.

-King-
05-01-2012, 10:28 PM
Fine I guess I was asking too much to find sympathy for a freakin baby dying. But when one of you dipshits has a prayer request on here, I'll be sure to post insensitive comments.;)

You're barking up the wrong tree.

|Zach|
05-01-2012, 10:31 PM
Jesus that is a seriously horrible story. :(

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 10:32 PM
All of you assholes laughing should stop to consider what if this boy was the real life John Connor? Or Luke Skywalker? Who is going to save the planet/galaxy now bitches?

anyone poking fun should hide your heads in shame.

rico
05-01-2012, 10:32 PM
Fine I guess I was asking too much to find sympathy for a freakin baby dying. But when one of you dipshits has a prayer request on here, I'll be sure to post insensitive comments.;)

Beg rep! Oops, I meant neg rep! For some reason I've got Beggin' Bits on the mind.

SNR
05-01-2012, 10:36 PM
All of you assholes laughing should stop to consider what if this boy was the real life John Connor? Or Luke Skywalker? Who is going to save the planet/galaxy now bitches?

anyone poking fun should hide your heads in shame.He could also be Hitler.

Better to be safe than sorry.

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 10:40 PM
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/587228/thumbs/s-DOG-KILLS-BABY-small.jpg

Bump
05-01-2012, 10:42 PM
that's fucked up

rico
05-01-2012, 10:42 PM
All of you assholes laughing should stop to consider what if this boy was the real life John Connor? Or Luke Skywalker? Who is going to save the planet/galaxy now bitches?

anyone poking fun should hide your heads in shame.

http://www.rankopedia.com/CandidatePix/100529.gif

May the Schwartz be with you.

Setsuna
05-01-2012, 10:43 PM
I should get in on this....

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 10:44 PM
What a pussy the dad is, saying it was an accident. The Dad should be euthanized with the dog.

Here is another example of stupidity....

<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mEVq_fGsY-o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

niblet
05-01-2012, 10:49 PM
Wow, so I guess now they have to return all the presents to the maul.

Bambi
05-01-2012, 10:52 PM
What a pussy the dad is, saying it was an accident. The Dad should be euthanized with the dog.

Here is another example of stupidity....

<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mEVq_fGsY-o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

lol, that is one bad ass baby

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 10:53 PM
lol, that is one bad ass baby

Next up...leave your baby in the crib with some razor blades...nothing bad could happen here...

Bambi
05-01-2012, 10:54 PM
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/587228/thumbs/s-DOG-KILLS-BABY-small.jpg

God damn, look at the size of that monster.

Setsuna
05-01-2012, 10:57 PM
That is the beast from sandlot. The baby's dumbass dad forgot to get him PF Flyers for his birthday. He needs to be in prison for that.

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 11:06 PM
<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FUn1pid0GcA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

on the lighter side....

La literatura
05-01-2012, 11:12 PM
<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FUn1pid0GcA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

on the lighter side....

That is patently offensive, and I've reported the post to the mods. Shameful.

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 11:14 PM
That is patently offensive, and I've reported the post to the mods. Shameful.

I reported several to your mom as well, she will be calling you first thing in the morning.

wazu
05-01-2012, 11:21 PM
According to the reporter in the My News 3 KSNV video below, Shahan "wants to be clear that this was an accident, not some kind of vicious attack."

Really? This statement let's me know where the priorities lie for this guy.

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 11:22 PM
Really? This statement let's me know where the priorities lie for this guy.

Fucked up world we live in right?

J Diddy
05-01-2012, 11:22 PM
That is patently offensive, and I've reported the post to the mods. Shameful.

Tasteless. However, I caution you. These are the same mods who made jokes about the kid who died in the woodchipper.

KILLER_CLOWN
05-01-2012, 11:25 PM
Tasteless. However, I caution you. These are the same mods who made jokes about the kid who died in the woodchipper.

Only one mod that counts...GOD! Do NOT cross him. ;)

Lumpy
05-01-2012, 11:50 PM
Some of you need to be evaluated. Seriously.

Simply Red
05-02-2012, 12:02 AM
Some of you need to be evaluated. Seriously.

I've been telling them this since 2005!

BryanBusby
05-02-2012, 12:04 AM
"The Las Vegas Sun reports that the 120-pound Mastiff/Rhodesian"

Parents should be locked up for stupidity.

Simply Red
05-02-2012, 12:07 AM
"The Las Vegas Sun reports that the 120-pound Mastiff/Rhodesian"

Parents should be locked up for stupidity.

Yes, precise-****ing-ly! On another note though, i really do feel horrid for the family. But still this couple seems enormously dense.

rico
05-02-2012, 12:46 AM
On a serious note, I really don't want to think too deeply about this situation because it will make me sick. I'd much rather detach myself emotionally and clown on it than think deeply and seriously about it and feel like shit for a couple days. I have a 1 year old and another baby due in a month...shit like this is why I own a pug opposed to Mastiffe/Rhodesian type. If something like this happened to my daughter, I would feel responsible and would question whether or not I even had the right to continue my existence. And that's all I have to say about that.

KurtCobain
05-02-2012, 12:56 AM
Some of you need to be evaluated. Seriously.

Don't be too ruff on us, lumpy.

KurtCobain
05-02-2012, 12:58 AM
The good news out of this is that my pastor has assured me that all dogs go to heaven.

jspchief
05-02-2012, 12:58 AM
That bites

SNR
05-02-2012, 01:00 AM
Some of you need to be evaluated. Seriously.Oh give us a break. There were some real howlers in this thread

Phobia
05-02-2012, 01:00 AM
Fine I guess I was asking too much to find sympathy for a freakin baby dying. But when one of you dipshits has a prayer request on here, I'll be sure to post insensitive comments.;)

Everybody is sensitive to a baby dying. But lots of us would rather make some silly puns than dwell on the tragic accident. The truth is that thousands of babies die tragically around the world annually. I'd never stop grieving if had to offer properly placed sympathy for each one of them. But yeah, if something like this happened to any one of our members here you better believe every one of the people posting snide remarks in this thread would do whatever they could to make it better for the individual whom the "know". We have a rule against poking fun on a prayer thread. The difference is that when it's a prayer thread, people who actually post here are affected.

La literatura
05-02-2012, 01:02 AM
The good news out of this is that my pastor has assured me that all dogs go to heaven.

The authorities are divided on that one. Consider one rumination:

"Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies after biting off the head of a child, that pet does not go to Rainbow Bridge. . . ."

KurtCobain
05-02-2012, 01:03 AM
The planet's sense of humor is just rottenweiler.

La literatura
05-02-2012, 01:05 AM
Everybody is sensitive to a baby dying. But lots of us would rather make some silly puns than dwell on the tragic accident. The truth is that thousands of babies die tragically around the world annually. I'd never stop grieving if had to offer properly placed sympathy for each one of them. But yeah, if something like this happened to any one of our members here you better believe every one of the people posting snide remarks in this thread would do whatever they could to make it better for the individual whom the "know". We have a rule against poking fun on a prayer thread. The difference is that when it's a prayer thread, people who actually post here are affected.

This is a good Pointer for people to remember when responding to prayer threads.

Lumpy
05-02-2012, 01:14 AM
Don't be too ruff on us, lumpy.

What? I'm just stating the obvious. :p

Seriously though, stories like this make me uncomfortable as all hell. Mainly because I have a son and it's terrible to imagine what this family went through. Whether it was an accident or not, I don't care. A little boy died and that is pretty damn sad.

But I also know that this is CP and it's the "CP way" to make jokes and such, (even when it comes to sensitive subjects).

So, continue as you were...

KurtCobain
05-02-2012, 01:18 AM
What? I'm just stating the obvious. :p

Seriously though, stories like this make me uncomfortable as all hell. Mainly because I have a son and it's terrible to imagine what this family went through. Whether it was an accident or not, I don't care. A little boy died and that is pretty damn sad.

But I also know that this is CP and it's the "CP way" to make jokes and such, (even when it comes to sensitive subjects).

So, continue as you were...

Hey now, I have a young son too, and I'm always tailing him to stop looking like a damn chew toy, so I obviously know the dangers hair.

Lumpy
05-02-2012, 01:19 AM
Oh give us a break. There were some real howlers in this thread

Oh, you're really in the doghouse now, Mister!

FML :facepalm:

Phobia
05-02-2012, 01:21 AM
On a serious note, I really don't want to think too deeply about this situation because it will make me sick. I'd much rather detach myself emotionally and clown on it than think deeply and seriously about it and feel like shit for a couple days. I have a 1 year old and another baby due in a month...shit like this is why I own a pug opposed to Mastiffe/Rhodesian type. If something like this happened to my daughter, I would feel responsible and would question whether or not I even had the right to continue my existence. And that's all I have to say about that.

I had a daughter who would have turned 4 this September. If anybody is going to raise their hackles over the excrement in this thread it should be me. But I'm smacking my chops just like the rest of the pack. This is a tell-tail reaction on the Planet every time, some guys just lock down and won't leave it. I would like to invite those of you who don't have a sense of humor towards a horrible story about people you don't even know to sniff my butt. Would you bare your teeth if Jimmy Kennel or David Litterman were cracking jokes unleashed? I'm not going to accept this criticism laying down.

Lumpy
05-02-2012, 01:26 AM
Oh, why don't you just go piss on an electric fence, Phil!

FMLx2 :facepalm:

|Zach|
05-02-2012, 01:28 AM
I had a daughter who would have turned 4 this September. If anybody is going to raise their hackles over the excrement in this thread it should be me. But I'm smacking my chops just like the rest of the pack. This is a tell-tail reaction on the Planet every time, some guys just lock down and won't leave it. I would like to invite those of you who don't have a sense of humor towards a horrible story about people you don't even know to sniff my butt. Would you bare your teeth if Jimmy Kennel or David Litterman were cracking jokes unleashed? I'm not going to accept this criticism laying down.

I still don't really 'get' it at all but things on CP will happen as they may. Not worth getting worked up over it of course.

SNR
05-02-2012, 01:34 AM
What? I'm just stating the obvious. :p

Seriously though, stories like this make me uncomfortable as all hell. Mainly because I have a son and it's terrible to imagine what this family went through. Whether it was an accident or not, I don't care. A little boy died and that is pretty damn sad.

But I also know that this is CP and it's the "CP way" to make jokes and such, (even when it comes to sensitive subjects).

So, continue as you were...I have no idea what it is with some people, but they actively SEEK OUT these kinds of stories. Like pornography, almost. Seriously. My grandparents are those kind of people. Get the most tragic shit in the news that you can find and tell everybody about it. It might just be a midwestern thing or something, I don't know.

In the case of this story, there isn't really a moral or a lesson to be learned. It doesn't speak to anything people haven't known for years- that really big dogs can mess up a human being's shit. All this is obvious for anybody with a brain. Same goes with the kid in the wood chipper story, except in that case I think a lot of people know about the safety of not wearing loose clothing around those things and for sure keeping your fucking kids away from them, but it took an accident like this to SEE the damage that can and does get caused.

With this news story, no disrespect to Nucky, but there's an SNR-grandparent kind of sexual attraction to this shit. Makes it all the more prevalent when you throw in the added bonus of "AND IT WAS ON THE KID'S FIRST BIRTHDAY, TOO!" If you're going to report tragic shit like that, for god's sake do it discreetly (I'm talking about the Huffington Post, not Nucky here). Instead, the story becomes widely circulated by people who think it's important to read about every shit rape thing that happens in the world.

I didn't need to hear about this story. The kid wasn't important or prevalent (the child of someone famous). The tragedy didn't expose or bring to the surface important information. All it did was lay on the tragedy real thick with a butter knife and cause parents reading this to go through a few minutes of hell thinking about if this had been their child. And I'm not going to acknowledge the reporting job with the expected solemn, proper "RIP" or even a "God the parents are fucking idiots". I'm going to make puns about it.

Because if you're going to make the tragedy damn near comical, then I'll be glad to play along.

Phobia
05-02-2012, 01:34 AM
Oh, why don't you just go piss on an electric fence, Phil!

FMLx2 :facepalm:

You'll heel.

KurtCobain
05-02-2012, 01:40 AM
So this was at the birthday party? You know how barking mad it would be if there was a clown present? And after they rip the kid out of the dog's jaw, the clown squirts the dad with a fake flower! ROFL

Phobia
05-02-2012, 01:41 AM
I have no idea what it is with some people, but they actively SEEK OUT these kinds of stories. Like pornography, almost. Seriously. My grandparents are those kind of people. Get the most tragic shit in the news that you can find and tell everybody about it. It might just be a midwestern thing or something, I don't know.

I know exactly what you mean. Certain people wolf this kind of story down and then get all raw-hide about it when you lift your leg to pee on it. It's like they're the moral watchdog of the place. I'm temped to abuse my powers and hyde rants.

rico
05-02-2012, 01:43 AM
I have no idea what it is with some people, but they actively SEEK OUT these kinds of stories. Like pornography, almost. Seriously. My grandparents are those kind of people. Get the most tragic shit in the news that you can find and tell everybody about it. It might just be a midwestern thing or something, I don't know.

In the case of this story, there isn't really a moral or a lesson to be learned. It doesn't speak to anything people haven't known for years- that really big dogs can mess up a human being's shit. All this is obvious for anybody with a brain. Same goes with the kid in the wood chipper story, except in that case I think a lot of people know about the safety of not wearing loose clothing around those things and for sure keeping your ****ing kids away from them, but it took an accident like this to SEE the damage that can and does get caused.

With this news story, no disrespect to Nucky, but there's an SNR-grandparent kind of sexual attraction to this shit. Makes it all the more prevalent when you throw in the added bonus of "AND IT WAS ON THE KID'S FIRST BIRTHDAY, TOO!" If you're going to report tragic shit like that, for god's sake do it discreetly (I'm talking about the Huffington Post, not Nucky here). Instead, the story becomes widely circulated by people who think it's important to read about every shit rape thing that happens in the world.

I didn't need to hear about this story. The kid wasn't important or prevalent (the child of someone famous). The tragedy didn't expose or bring to the surface important information. All it did was lay on the tragedy real thick with a butter knife and cause parents reading this to go through a few minutes of hell thinking about if this had been their child. And I'm not going to acknowledge the reporting job with the expected solemn, proper "RIP" or even a "God the parents are ****ing idiots". I'm going to make puns about it.

Because if you're going to make the tragedy damn near comical, then I'll be glad to play along.

Truth.

SNR
05-02-2012, 01:53 AM
I know exactly what you mean. Certain people wolf this kind of story down and then get all raw-hide about it when you lift your leg to pee on it. It's like they're the moral watchdog of the place. I'm temped to abuse my powers and hyde rants.Yep. They labrador the empathy given off by the people who have to listen to their garbage.

rico
05-02-2012, 01:59 AM
I know exactly what you mean. Certain people wolf this kind of story down and then get all raw-hide about it when you lift your leg to pee on it. It's like they're the moral watchdog of the place. I'm temped to abuse my powers and hyde rants.

You should abuse your powers to mastiffe proportions.

Phobia
05-02-2012, 02:04 AM
There really are poodles and poodles of puns if you can Spot them. But the morality bulldogs will wine&runair mouths about it.

Count Zarth
05-02-2012, 02:10 AM
I know exactly what you mean. Certain people wolf this kind of story down and then get all raw-hide about it when you lift your leg to pee on it. It's like they're the moral watchdog of the place. I'm temped to abuse my powers and hyde rants.

:hail::hail::hail::hail::hail:

Count Zarth
05-02-2012, 02:11 AM
Endless puns over awful news is the best thing on Chiefsplanet in a lonnnnnng time.

jspchief
05-02-2012, 02:54 AM
I still don't really 'get' it at all but things on CP will happen as they may. Not worth getting worked up over it of course.

There are a lot things around here that you don't seem to get. I'm surprised you still frequent this site.

Phobia
05-02-2012, 03:05 AM
There are a lot things around here that you don't seem to get. I'm surprised you still frequent this site.

Zach went stray once and when he was returned he had been neutered much to my surprise.

Sucky
05-02-2012, 04:57 AM
I have no idea what it is with some people, but they actively SEEK OUT these kinds of stories. Like pornography, almost. Seriously. My grandparents are those kind of people. Get the most tragic shit in the news that you can find and tell everybody about it. It might just be a midwestern thing or something, I don't know.

In the case of this story, there isn't really a moral or a lesson to be learned. It doesn't speak to anything people haven't known for years- that really big dogs can mess up a human being's shit. All this is obvious for anybody with a brain. Same goes with the kid in the wood chipper story, except in that case I think a lot of people know about the safety of not wearing loose clothing around those things and for sure keeping your ****ing kids away from them, but it took an accident like this to SEE the damage that can and does get caused.

With this news story, no disrespect to Nucky, but there's an SNR-grandparent kind of sexual attraction to this shit. Makes it all the more prevalent when you throw in the added bonus of "AND IT WAS ON THE KID'S FIRST BIRTHDAY, TOO!" If you're going to report tragic shit like that, for god's sake do it discreetly (I'm talking about the Huffington Post, not Nucky here). Instead, the story becomes widely circulated by people who think it's important to read about every shit rape thing that happens in the world.

I didn't need to hear about this story. The kid wasn't important or prevalent (the child of someone famous). The tragedy didn't expose or bring to the surface important information. All it did was lay on the tragedy real thick with a butter knife and cause parents reading this to go through a few minutes of hell thinking about if this had been their child. And I'm not going to acknowledge the reporting job with the expected solemn, proper "RIP" or even a "God the parents are ****ing idiots". I'm going to make puns about it.

Because if you're going to make the tragedy damn near comical, then I'll be glad to play along.

No disrespect taken, I actually didnt seek out this terrible story. It was one of the top trending articles on the Huffingtonpost and I just couldnt avoid it.

Believe me, I'm all for making politically incorrect jokes (South Park happens to be one of my favorite shows) but DAMN. Some of you guys are heartless fucks

WhiteWhale
05-02-2012, 06:24 AM
Try laughing once in awhile...you may get a new leash in life.

Schadenfreude is not the same thing as a sense of humor.

I"m not gonna lecture you, but don't try and tell people who don't find this funny that they lack one.

Inmem58
05-02-2012, 06:37 AM
This story seems a bit far fetched

La literatura
05-02-2012, 06:41 AM
Schadenfreude is not the same thing as a sense of humor.

I"m not gonna lecture you, but don't try and tell people who don't find this funny that they lack one.

Ruh roh.

Fish
05-02-2012, 06:42 AM
What a pussy the dad is, saying it was an accident. The Dad should be euthanized with the dog.

Here is another example of stupidity....

<iframe width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/mEVq_fGsY-o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Actually, they sew the Cobra's mouth shut when they do this stupid crap. The kid isn't in any danger..

KILLER_CLOWN
05-02-2012, 06:42 AM
Actually, they sew the Cobra's mouth shut when they do this stupid crap. The kid isn't in any danger..

Still fucking stupid.

La literatura
05-02-2012, 06:44 AM
Actually, they sew the Cobra's mouth shut when they do this stupid crap. The kid isn't in any danger..

I figured the snake was de-fanged or something. Still, towards the end of the video, with the snake wrapping its body around the child's head: that can't be too safe.

KILLER_CLOWN
05-02-2012, 06:45 AM
I figured the snake was de-fanged or something. Still, towards the end of the video, with the snake wrapping its body around the child's head: that can't be too safe.

I believe it is defanged but i fail to see the logic in letting a snake near a toddler.

KCUnited
05-02-2012, 06:49 AM
No disrespect taken, I actually didnt seek out this terrible story. It was one of the top trending articles on the Huffingtonpost and I just couldnt avoid it.

Believe me, I'm all for making politically incorrect jokes (South Park happens to be one of my favorite shows) but DAMN. Some of you guys are heartless ****s

It's dober, man. Let it go.

InChiefsHell
05-02-2012, 06:50 AM
Accident...the dog accidentally mauled the kid...how the fuck does that happen?

It's a vicious attack dumbass. I'd shoot the fucking dog myself. I'm sure nobody saw it coming, and I'm sure the dog has never done that before, but when you have an animal in your house that poops bigger than you do, you are playing with fire.

That sucks all around.

Fish
05-02-2012, 06:53 AM
had never displayed any previous signs of aggression toward people, according to the family who lives in Henderson, Nev.

This is such a consistent addition to these kinds of stories, you'd think that owners of large breed dogs would see that over and over and scratch their head in self examination. But evidently it's easier to convince yourself that your animal is the exception...

suds79
05-02-2012, 07:04 AM
Could have done without this headline.

I know it's common place to post news stories around here but they always seem to involve something horrific. What's up with that? If there's a tragic death out there, you can bet your bottom dollar CP is bringing the news to you on it.

Even if you don't click on the thread you get the gist of it from the title.

Thanks. :thumb:

Fish
05-02-2012, 07:07 AM
Bad news is the best news these days. The more sick and tragic, the more it will be talked about. We're a really fucked up species...

tooge
05-02-2012, 07:09 AM
I've always thought a freshly washed baby sort of has a peanut butterish smell. Just sayin

KCUnited
05-02-2012, 07:09 AM
Dog eat baby world we live in.

tooge
05-02-2012, 07:13 AM
maybe he thought the kid was this guy

ChiefsNow
05-02-2012, 07:21 AM
Maybe we should consider Pun Planet in a seperate section. Just an idea.

Better yet, the next time I do puns , I'm gonna use a spoiler tag. Only problem is, I don't know how to do that. How do you do the spoiler tag?

Simply Red
05-02-2012, 07:21 AM
So when someone has a serious prayer request on here(like a family member dying)...do you guys mock them as well or take it seriously?

SIT!!

KCUnited
05-02-2012, 07:23 AM
Turns out the dog had a particular disdain for Blind Melon.

Radar Chief
05-02-2012, 07:28 AM
This is such a consistent addition to these kinds of stories, you'd think that owners of large breed dogs would see that over and over and scratch their head in self examination. But evidently it's easier to convince yourself that your animal is the exception...

We got rid of our rat terrier when MiniRadar started crawling around. When the chocolate lab got tired of him poking her eyes and pulling her ears she’d go outside, the rat terrier got tired of it she’d snap at him.

jspchief
05-02-2012, 07:39 AM
By all accounts the child was a real treat to be around.

MTG#10
05-02-2012, 07:51 AM
Some quality stuff in here. You guys are clever...

On a serious note: holy shit! This is exactly why I beat the shit out of my dogs. I put my hand in his bowl while he's eating and if he growls- smack the shit out of him! Give him a good tail yank every once in a while to surprise him and if he snaps- smack the shit out of him! Gotta make sure shit like this doesn't go down when you've got little ones around.

This. When you own a dog, especially a big dog you have to show it who the pack leader is especially if you have children around. People may think that shit is cruel but its necessary if you dont want a chance of things like this story too happen.

tooge
05-02-2012, 08:37 AM
the "especially a big dog" comment is a completely ignorant comment. I've owned mostly big dogs and a few smaller dogs over the years. My experience is that the smaller dogs are the biters and nippers. I've never had a big dog so much as growl at my kids

DJ's left nut
05-02-2012, 08:52 AM
the "especially a big dog" comment is a completely ignorant comment. I've owned mostly big dogs and a few smaller dogs over the years. My experience is that the smaller dogs are the biters and nippers. I've never had a big dog so much as growl at my kids

If a small dog bites your kid - the kid has a scar at worst.

I understand the sentiment. I don't know that I agree with it, afterall I have over 200 lbs of dog in my house and they're all staying even when a baby shows up. But they're labradors so it's a different story. And a 75 lb dog is a far different discussion than a 130 lb dog. 75 lbs still can't essentially fit a toddler in its mouth and end the discussion in the 3-5 seconds it would take you to get over there.

I'm fairly certain I wouldn't be comfortable having a 130 lb dog in a house with a 1 year old. Say what you will about them being docile, but a dog is still a dog and you just can't be 100% certain what it will do at all times.

I don't think I'd be so cavalier about reducing my margin for error to zero.

JD10367
05-02-2012, 08:54 AM
the "especially a big dog" comment is a completely ignorant comment. I've owned mostly big dogs and a few smaller dogs over the years. My experience is that the smaller dogs are the biters and nippers. I've never had a big dog so much as growl at my kids

No, "completely ignorant" is thinking your very small child is always 100% safe around an animal that is big enough to bite the kid's head off. Just because you were lucky doesn't mean you were smart. Dogs may be domesticated but they're still capable at any time of ripping the life out of you. Anyone who forgets that might pay the price. It's not quite Siegfried & Roy with their tigers, but the point remains the same: if something is large enough to kill something smaller, it's not a wise idea to let the something get close enough to do it.

As for the people who make puns about this, the kid in the woodchipper, and other sorts of things, there's not enough karmic justice in the universe for you. Let us know when something innocent and vulnerable that you love is killed horribly, so we can all come up with some witty fucking one-liners.

Fish
05-02-2012, 08:55 AM
the "especially a big dog" comment is a completely ignorant comment. I've owned mostly big dogs and a few smaller dogs over the years. My experience is that the smaller dogs are the biters and nippers. I've never had a big dog so much as growl at my kids

Again..... neither had the dog in the article.

the 120-pound Mastiff/Rhodesian mix had never displayed any previous signs of aggression toward people, according to the family who lives in Henderson, Nev.

O.city
05-02-2012, 08:56 AM
This is why you should just go with a Lab, IMO.



We have had friends with children over and I've seen their 2 year old bite, pinch, pull himself up, crawl on etc my chocolate lab. He just lays there or licks him.


I will say though, that I don't think i would ever feel 100 percent comfortable about it. In the end it's still an animal.

Frosty
05-02-2012, 09:02 AM
I will say though, that I don't think i would ever feel 100 percent comfortable about it. In the end it's still an animal.

We share our homes with carnivores and then act surprised when they sometimes act like it? :shrug:

tooge
05-02-2012, 09:04 AM
No, "completely ignorant" is thinking your very small child is always 100% safe around an animal that is big enough to bite the kid's head off. Just because you were lucky doesn't mean you were smart. Dogs may be domesticated but they're still capable at any time of ripping the life out of you. Anyone who forgets that might pay the price. It's not quite Siegfried & Roy with their tigers, but the point remains the same: if something is large enough to kill something smaller, it's not a wise idea to let the something get close enough to do it.

As for the people who make puns about this, the kid in the woodchipper, and other sorts of things, there's not enough karmic justice in the universe for you. Let us know when something innocent and vulnerable that you love is killed horribly, so we can all come up with some witty ****ing one-liners.

we had a duck. It was killed mercilessly by an owl. It was horrible. The kids cried for a solid 15 minutes. It was named peep because of the little sound it made when it was but a little yellow duckling. Still miss little peep.

JoeyChuckles
05-02-2012, 09:06 AM
Dog eat baby world we live in.

I think that was one of the first quotes of the thread.

KC Tattoo
05-02-2012, 09:16 AM
Turns out the dog had a particular disdain for Blind Melon.

I thought the same thing. LMAO

Just Passin' By
05-02-2012, 09:20 AM
A small Pomeranian dog killed a 6-week-old baby while the infant's caretaker briefly left the child unattended to warm a bottle of milk, authorities said.

http://www.igorilla.com/gorilla/animal/2001/pomeranian.html

One suprising conclusion of several studies is the fact that many varieties of dogs have been involved in a fatal human attack for one reason or another. Topping the list of deaths by dog in a twenty year period is the Pit Bull and Pit Bull mix at 66 human deaths. The Rottweiler and Rottweiler mix was responsibe for 39 human deaths. The German Shepherd dog and mix were responsible for 17 human deaths. The Husky type dog was responsible for 15 human deaths as was the Malamute responsible for 12 human deaths. The Chow Chow was responsible for 8 deaths while the Doberman was responsible for 9 human deaths. The Saint Bernard was responsible for 7 human deaths and the Great Dane was also responsible for 7 deaths. The Akita killed 4 people, the Bulldog 2, the Mastiff 2, the Boxer 2 and believe it or not the Labrador Retriever was responsible for 1 death while Lab mixes were responsible for 4 deaths. The following dogs were responsible for killing one human each during these twenty years: The Bullmastiff, Cheasapeake Bay Retriever, West Highland Terrier, Japanese Hunting Dog, Newfoundland, Coonhound, Sheepdog, Rhodesian Ridgeback and cocker Spaniel.

http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/30137/pets/which_dog_breeds_are_more_likely_to_kill_people.html

morphius
05-02-2012, 09:30 AM
This is why you should just go with a Lab, IMO.



We have had friends with children over and I've seen their 2 year old bite, pinch, pull himself up, crawl on etc my chocolate lab. He just lays there or licks him.


I will say though, that I don't think i would ever feel 100 percent comfortable about it. In the end it's still an animal.
My lab is the same way. Heck, the cat will sleep on her head and she just takes it. About the only way she would kill you is beating you to death with that damn tail. But I also think Dogs are a bit like people in that you can't always be sure of what will make them snap.

Pestilence
05-02-2012, 09:33 AM
We actually just had our 2 year old chihuahua/dachsund mix snap at a kid this last weekend. It was our 5 year old's birthday party and one of her friends (who is a pain in the ass) wouldn't leave the dog alone. She kept following it around the house and tugging at it's tail.

This dog has never done anything to show us that it's aggressive or could snap. Shit....she gets the shit beat out of her by are 1.5 year old twins and the 5 year old is always hugging on her and playing with her when she doesn't want to be played with.

So, our dog took off under our patio furniture and this little shit is on her knees with her head under the table. I hear our dog bark and then the kid jerks back and stands up. Our dog had apparently had enough and snapped at her.....scratching her finger and drawing blood.

After the birthday party.....our dog is back to being fine with our kids beating the shit out of her.

Fish
05-02-2012, 09:35 AM
http://www.igorilla.com/gorilla/animal/2001/pomeranian.html



http://www.streetdirectory.com/travel_guide/30137/pets/which_dog_breeds_are_more_likely_to_kill_people.html

Just how is one killed by a floppy eared cocker spaniel? Little bastard must've had a knife or something...

Pestilence
05-02-2012, 09:36 AM
Just how is one killed by a floppy eared cocker spaniel? Little bastard must've had a knife or something...

When I was 6, our cocker spaniel bit me in the face. Totally my fault though.

Dartgod
05-02-2012, 09:37 AM
Let us know when something innocent and vulnerable that you love is killed horribly, so we can all come up with some witty ****ing one-liners.

I didn't know that you were related to this family.

My condolences.

Pestilence
05-02-2012, 09:38 AM
No, "completely ignorant" is thinking your very small child is always 100% safe around an animal that is big enough to bite the kid's head off. Just because you were lucky doesn't mean you were smart. Dogs may be domesticated but they're still capable at any time of ripping the life out of you. Anyone who forgets that might pay the price. It's not quite Siegfried & Roy with their tigers, but the point remains the same: if something is large enough to kill something smaller, it's not a wise idea to let the something get close enough to do it.

As for the people who make puns about this, the kid in the woodchipper, and other sorts of things, there's not enough karmic justice in the universe for you. Let us know when something innocent and vulnerable that you love is killed horribly, so we can all come up with some witty fucking one-liners.

You should stick to your perverted remarks about women.....you're better at that.

Dartgod
05-02-2012, 09:39 AM
We actually just had our 2 year old chihuahua/dachsund mix snap at a kid this last weekend. It was our 5 year old's birthday party and one of her friends (who is a pain in the ass) wouldn't leave the dog alone. She kept following it around the house and tugging at it's tail.

This dog has never done anything to show us that it's aggressive or could snap. Shit....she gets the shit beat out of her by are 1.5 year old twins and the 5 year old is always hugging on her and playing with her when she doesn't want to be played with.

So, our dog took off under our patio furniture and this little shit is on her knees with her head under the table. I hear our dog bark and then the kid jerks back and stands up. Our dog had apparently had enough and snapped at her.....scratching her finger and drawing blood.

After the birthday party.....our dog is back to being fine with our kids beating the shit out of her.
The dog should be put down after mauling that poor little innocent girl. /saulgood

Pestilence
05-02-2012, 09:40 AM
The dog should be put down after mauling that poor little innocent girl. /saulgood

This dog would lick someone to death before it ever mauled anyone.

Radar Chief
05-02-2012, 09:45 AM
Just how is one killed by a floppy eared cocker spaniel? Little bastard must've had a knife or something...

Only thing I can come up with is the ankle biting bastard probably attacked someone’s leg at the top of the stairs.

Fish
05-02-2012, 09:48 AM
We actually just had our 2 year old chihuahua/dachsund mix snap at a kid this last weekend. It was our 5 year old's birthday party and one of her friends (who is a pain in the ass) wouldn't leave the dog alone. She kept following it around the house and tugging at it's tail.

This dog has never done anything to show us that it's aggressive or could snap. Shit....she gets the shit beat out of her by are 1.5 year old twins and the 5 year old is always hugging on her and playing with her when she doesn't want to be played with.

So, our dog took off under our patio furniture and this little shit is on her knees with her head under the table. I hear our dog bark and then the kid jerks back and stands up. Our dog had apparently had enough and snapped at her.....scratching her finger and drawing blood.

After the birthday party.....our dog is back to being fine with our kids beating the shit out of her.

I've always found it interesting that dogs will have infinitely more patience with those they're familiar with. They'll put up with way more than they should from the family child. Sort of a form of respect for "family"... As a child, I had a large German Sheppard named Macho. I can still remember coming outside and seeing my younger sister whailing on the poor dog with a stick. He would sit there and take it with this look on his face like "Fuck I hate kids." But all the while, still in "protector mode". If the mailman or anybody else came into the yard, that dog was always always instantly between the stranger and my sister. Even though she was a pain in the ass to the dog.

But at the same time, I think that also gives some people a false sense of security that their dog is more docile than they think. Little Mary Evilchild at the B-day party can fuck right off.. she ain't family..

Simply Red
05-02-2012, 09:50 AM
I didn't know that you were related to this family.

My condolences.

That dude has been a moron since his start here on CP and he's never looked back.

O.city
05-02-2012, 09:56 AM
My lab is the same way. Heck, the cat will sleep on her head and she just takes it. About the only way she would kill you is beating you to death with that damn tail. But I also think Dogs are a bit like people in that you can't always be sure of what will make them snap.

That tail can do some damage. Thats for sure.



I realize he's an animal and all, but I just don't see anyway my lab would hurt someone from anger. Only way he would hurt someone is by jumping into their lap and licking them to death.

morphius
05-02-2012, 09:57 AM
I've always found it interesting that dogs will have infinitely more patience with those they're familiar with. They'll put up with way more than they should from the family child. Sort of a form of respect for "family"... As a child, I had a large German Sheppard named Macho. I can still remember coming outside and seeing my younger sister whailing on the poor dog with a stick. He would sit there and take it with this look on his face like "**** I hate kids." But all the while, still in "protector mode". If the mailman or anybody else came into the yard, that dog was always always instantly between the stranger and my sister. Even though she was a pain in the ass to the dog.

But at the same time, I think that also gives some people a false sense of security that their dog is more docile than they think. Little Mary Evilchild at the B-day party can **** right off.. she ain't family..
I've always just considered that a pack thing, they tend to learn where in the pecking order they are by what the alpha's do. I didn't want a dog, I don't do much for the dog, but the dog knows that if she comes to me when she needs to eat or go outside that I'll get someone to do it. I do think it is funny that the 9lbs cat is higher in the pecking order and the dog just takes it.

But bring in someone new that isn't already part of the pack and your dog just might want to have some authority for once.

Brock
05-02-2012, 09:59 AM
Labrador Retriever was responsible for 1 death

ROFL Yeah, ok.

morphius
05-02-2012, 10:00 AM
That tail can do some damage. Thats for sure.



I realize he's an animal and all, but I just don't see anyway my lab would hurt someone from anger. Only way he would hurt someone is by jumping into their lap and licking them to death.
There is only person that my dog has ever growled at is the creepy crossing guard. My daughter hides behind us every time we walk passed him. It is just weird.

Frosty
05-02-2012, 10:00 AM
Only thing I can come up with is the ankle biting bastard probably attacked someone’s leg at the top of the stairs.

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/8625116c-7192-4bfa-8654-f5265350c9eb.jpg

tooge
05-02-2012, 10:02 AM
You know, this got me thinking. How many kids are responsible for the death of young dogs? What kind of kids? I'm guessing small kids have killed more small dogs than large dogs have killed small kids. Time to consider euthanizing small kids.

O.city
05-02-2012, 10:02 AM
My lab had his hip replaced and was down for about 2 months. Even then our other little dog crawled all over him and would pester him. He never made a fuss.




Call me crazy, but IMO, labs are the best dogs the Lord made.

rico
05-02-2012, 10:18 AM
To anyone hatin' on the puns: You aint nothin' but a hound dog. Cryin' all the time.

Saulbadguy
05-02-2012, 10:18 AM
You know, this got me thinking. How many kids are responsible for the death of young dogs? What kind of kids? I'm guessing small kids have killed more small dogs than large dogs have killed small kids. Time to consider euthanizing small kids.

I'm on board for this plan.

rico
05-02-2012, 10:21 AM
This kid looks like he could be a younger version of some of those kids from the "Lords of Dogtown" movies.

vailpass
05-02-2012, 10:27 AM
As for the people who make puns about this, the kid in the woodchipper, and other sorts of things, there's not enough karmic justice in the universe for you. Let us know when something innocent and vulnerable that you love is killed horribly, so we can all come up with some witty ****ing one-liners.

I'd expect this kind of candy ass whining from a n00b but not from a vet like you.

vailpass
05-02-2012, 10:27 AM
This kid looks like he could be a younger version of some of those kids from the "Lords of Dogtown" movies.

Maybe he used to. I bet he doesn't now.

La literatura
05-02-2012, 10:44 AM
the "especially a big dog" comment is a completely ignorant comment. I've owned mostly big dogs and a few smaller dogs over the years. My experience is that the smaller dogs are the biters and nippers. I've never had a big dog so much as growl at my kids

It seems reasonable to me to have a "Head-Jaw" Standard. Can your dog fit your child's head in his jaws? If so, you are on notice that your dog might put your child's head in his jaws.

MTG#10
05-02-2012, 10:44 AM
the "especially a big dog" comment is a completely ignorant comment. I've owned mostly big dogs and a few smaller dogs over the years. My experience is that the smaller dogs are the biters and nippers. I've never had a big dog so much as growl at my kids

A small dog isnt going to pick your kid up by the head and shake him

tooge
05-02-2012, 10:47 AM
A small dog isnt going to pick your kid up by the head and shake him

no, dogs usually go for the throat when they are trying to kill something. A baby's windpipe will fit in pretty much any dogs mouth

tooge
05-02-2012, 10:48 AM
A small dog isnt going to pick your kid up by the head and shake him

Oh, and why don't you get back to running around with whores, raising meth children, and going to jail

vailpass
05-02-2012, 10:49 AM
no, dogs usually go for the throat when they are trying to kill something. A baby's windpipe will fit in pretty much any dogs mouth

LMAO

Jmoore051
05-02-2012, 10:51 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

tooge
05-02-2012, 10:53 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

Hasta

MTG#10
05-02-2012, 10:53 AM
no, dogs usually go for the throat when they are trying to kill something. A baby's windpipe will fit in pretty much any dogs mouth Not in this story it didnt.

Simply Red
05-02-2012, 10:54 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

negative rep.

HoneyBadger
05-02-2012, 10:55 AM
Iams sure the family is having a ruff time right now.

MTG#10
05-02-2012, 10:55 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

http://i431.photobucket.com/albums/qq40/omaney83/CurlyBill.jpg

SNR
05-02-2012, 10:56 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.
No please don't go! We were having so much fun with you around here!

Dartgod
05-02-2012, 10:56 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.
Second in...

http://cdn.stripersonline.com/3/32/299x156px-LL-3211d7d5_WellBye.jpeg


EDIT: DAMMIT!!!

SNR
05-02-2012, 10:58 AM
I'd expect this kind of candy ass whining from a n00b but not from a vet like you.He does this a lot, actually.

It seems regarding Patriot fans around this place they're totally cool up to a certain point, then they turn sour. JD hates schadenfreude puns in ridiculously over-the-top news stories, and Amnorix shamed us all when we rooted for a Tom Brady injury in a freakin' game thread last year.

Brock
05-02-2012, 10:59 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

Who are you again?

La literatura
05-02-2012, 11:00 AM
Iams sure the family is having a ruff time right now.

That's mine, and that's mine.

Fish
05-02-2012, 11:01 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

Don't let the door catch your tail on the way out...

La literatura
05-02-2012, 11:02 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

I REPENT!!!

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRdFuK27guELZ2H8r67pzWThY49hnTSP6d6Cgwr1f5uF-XWTOoBvQ

SNR
05-02-2012, 11:04 AM
That's mine, and that's mine.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JT4mFkYp1Yw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Simply Red
05-02-2012, 11:04 AM
seems I have my JD's mixed up - i like the guy from Rhode Island, fine.

Nzoner
05-02-2012, 11:05 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

pathetic little internet only lives LMAO

Saulbadguy
05-02-2012, 11:07 AM
seems I have my JD's mixed up - i like the guy from Rhode Island, fine.

They are both terrible posters and human beings.

Canofbier
05-02-2012, 11:23 AM
I'll just leave this here. (http://babypizza.ytmnd.com/)

SNR
05-02-2012, 11:30 AM
pathetic little internet only lives LMAODude, don't mess with him. He's got a job and stuff. He's a very important person. People fear him. He drives a Dodge Stratus!

La literatura
05-02-2012, 11:32 AM
I have mahogeny-bound books upon leather shelves. I'm a somebody.

Bump
05-02-2012, 11:38 AM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

CP loves it when people die, (good, bad, young or old) deal with it or GTFO

vailpass
05-02-2012, 11:52 AM
He does this a lot, actually.

It seems regarding Patriot fans around this place they're totally cool up to a certain point, then they turn sour. JD hates schadenfreude puns in ridiculously over-the-top news stories, and Amnorix shamed us all when we rooted for a Tom Brady injury in a freakin' game thread last year.

I'm guessing he didn't even notice my attempt at a pun using 'vet'.
Seriously though, I respect JD as a poster. Was really referring to all those who, as you accurately describe, hate puns in ridiculously over the top stories.
As though people are laughing at the tragedy itself. You have to laugh sometimes. After all, it's a dog eat dog world and we're all wearing milkbone underwear.
Cheers.

BillSelfsTrophycase
05-02-2012, 11:54 AM
http://keepittrill.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/snoop-dogg.jpg

journeyscarab
05-02-2012, 11:57 AM
Maybe we should consider Pun Planet in a seperate section. Just an idea.

Better yet, the next time I do puns , I'm gonna use a spoiler tag. Only problem is, I don't know how to do that. How do you do the spoiler tag?

That's not a bad idea.

J Diddy
05-02-2012, 12:00 PM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

I understand what you're saying, however, I don't think that the 4 posts that you have ever contributed are going to be missed. Especially since post 4 is an I'm leaving post.

Graystoke
05-02-2012, 12:16 PM
I understand what you're saying, however, I don't think that the 4 posts that you have ever contributed are going to be missed. Especially since post 4 is an I'm leaving post.

Is that a CP Official Record or anything?

SNR
05-02-2012, 12:17 PM
I understand what you're saying, however, I don't think that the 4 posts that you have ever contributed are going to be missed. Especially since post 4 is an I'm leaving post.But he barely had a chance to experience all the wonders and mysteries of the Planet.

So young to leave us. Like a 1-year old bitten to death by a Mastiff :(

Frosty
05-02-2012, 12:17 PM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

You win!

http://i49.tinypic.com/ek2el2.jpg

Demonpenz
05-02-2012, 12:18 PM
I always cringed whenever Glenn Robinson came over around my kids.

J Diddy
05-02-2012, 12:21 PM
Is that a CP Official Record or anything?

I would have to say so. Quick someone create a mult and post an I'm leaving post with the first post. That would lead to immortality in the annals of CP.

Thig Lyfe
05-02-2012, 12:26 PM
The dog was disappointed to discover that the baby was not, in fact, bacon.

Bwana
05-02-2012, 02:29 PM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

Well alright then.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2IOKeiP7m4L92O7BxBCgrOsITyEMli8xB-izRh3JwMhgbqMcNes2goKj7

KILLER_CLOWN
05-02-2012, 02:31 PM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

Jmoore you will be missed, we stand in solidarity with you.

rico
05-02-2012, 02:44 PM
They purchased a body bag, but it was too big for the little guy. So they decided to use a doggy bag. (Ughhhh.....I was cringing at myself while typing that).

scho63
05-02-2012, 02:44 PM
The number of young children both mauled and killed by dogs is so mucher larger than it needs to be.

Stupid parents with monster sized or over aggressive breeds of dogs wondering why it devoured a 1 yr old....parents needs to go to jail for involuntary homicide.

Thig Lyfe
05-02-2012, 02:46 PM
Sick of people coming into this thread just to wag their fingers.

Frosty
05-02-2012, 02:47 PM
You're all heartless bastards.






(couldn't think of any good puns :sulk: )

Dayze
05-02-2012, 02:48 PM
no, dogs usually go for the throat when they are trying to kill something. A baby's windpipe will fit in pretty much any dogs mouth

Theres got to be a way to integrate the word "windpipe" into chiefs planet lexicon.

La literatura
05-02-2012, 02:51 PM
May you drink antifreeze, fall into an AIDS tree, shoot yourself in the face, have a squirrel eat your brains, and a mastiff clamp upon your windpipe.

Just Passin' By
05-02-2012, 02:52 PM
The number of young children both mauled and killed by dogs is so mucher larger than it needs to be.

Stupid parents with monster sized or over aggressive breeds of dogs wondering why it devoured a 1 yr old....parents needs to go to jail for involuntary homicide.

In a 3 year period, 67 kids drowned in buckets.

http://www.faqs.org/abstracts/Health/Accidental-toddler-drowning-in-5-gallon-buckets-Child-drownings-and-near-drownings-associated-with-s.html

Shit happens, and life's not all hospital bed corners.

Dayze
05-02-2012, 02:52 PM
Im sure all you losers with high post counts will just mock this "noob" but this will be my last post and last time on this site. To joke about something like this is sick and disgusting! Have fun with your pathetic little internet only lives.

Dont let the doggie door hit you in the ass on the way out

KILLER_CLOWN
05-02-2012, 02:54 PM
In a 3 year period, 67 kids drowned in buckets.

http://www.faqs.org/abstracts/Health/Accidental-toddler-drowning-in-5-gallon-buckets-Child-drownings-and-near-drownings-associated-with-s.html

Shit happens, and life's not all hospital bed corners.

True but i would rather drown than have my head swallowed whole by a dog/bear.

KCUnited
05-02-2012, 02:55 PM
The number of young children both mauled and killed by dogs is so mucher larger than it needs to be.

Stupid parents with monster sized or over aggressive breeds of dogs wondering why it devoured a 1 yr old....parents needs to go to jail for involuntary homicide.

You need to back up the Shih Tzu say with some stats or a link.

rico
05-02-2012, 02:55 PM
http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/matt-barkley-2010-ncaa-football-pacific10-0dW5Qb.jpg

When Matt Barkley read this thread he was like, "HAHAHA, I like the fanbase in Kansas City."

Thig Lyfe
05-02-2012, 02:58 PM
In a 3 year period, 67 kids drowned in buckets.



That's beyond the pail.

Dayze
05-02-2012, 02:59 PM
May you drink antifreeze, fall into an AIDS tree, shoot yourself in the face, have a squirrel eat your brains, and a mastiff clamp upon your windpipe.

LMAO

Perfect. But we should only break it out on special occasions. Like on a butt hurt noob. But I would change it to "shoot yourself in the chest"

rico
05-02-2012, 03:00 PM
http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/images/11/2011/06/amd_charles_barkley.jpg

When Charles Barkley heard the news he said, "awww man, I bet the kid ended up looking like this by the time it was over."

rico
05-02-2012, 03:03 PM
http://66.132.211.220/images/10209.jpg

When Iran Barkley heard the news he was like, "awww shee-it! That sounds a lot like what I did to Tommy Hearns!!!"

rico
05-02-2012, 03:10 PM
http://www.mtv.com/content/ontv/vma/2007/photo/flipbooks/foo-suite/fantasysuite-foo-perform-14767266.jpg

When Gnarles Barkley was asked to express what they felt about the dog, Cee-Lo screamed, "I think he craaaaaaaaazzzzyyyyy."

Thig Lyfe
05-02-2012, 03:14 PM
http://images.wikia.com/parksandrecreation/images/d/de/Jennifer_Barkley.png

When Jennifer Barkley was asked who she blamed for the tragedy, she said, "I'm not saying Leslie Knope uses dogs to kill babies, but pretty much everybody else is."

rico
05-02-2012, 03:18 PM
http://www.sohh.com/img/DMX-2010-03-06-300x300.jpg

When DMX read read JMoore051's post he was like, "GTFO son! That's how Ruff Ryders roll!"

rico
05-02-2012, 03:24 PM
http://lostinasupermarket.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/nate-dogg-RIP.jpg

Immediately after this tragic event occurred, Nate Dogg approached the boy and said, "yo, what up Shawty??"