View Full Version : Poop Greatest Hits

05-31-2012, 09:58 AM
Shel Silverstein, Robert Frost, Dr Seuss....

Consider this a collection of 10 years of greatest hits.

I'm spending a portion of the off-season doldrums going through historical rep comments to rediscover poetry I've composed for Chiefsplanet, and if I find anything else I feel is worthy, I'll provide that quote, with context of the situation being served. I'll begin with the oldest end in the archive, mine beginning in 2004.

I think this could be a fun off-season time killer as well as history lesson for newer posters.

Feel free to comment, contribute your own works, or those favorite things you've read here.....We're looking specifically for poems, advice or comments you feel may be worthy of consideration of "great works" to be included in the Great Library.

05-31-2012, 10:01 AM
2004, the poster known today as John_Wayne seeks reward for his 5000th post.
He was known at the time for name changes, a post about almost seeing Daniel Sargent, a local news person, naked, because she showered in the same building in River Falls...and things that you can deduce from the poem I composed in his honor.

Gunther_fan has 5000 posts, in not enough hours
Did he tell you the story about the River Falls shower?
A Plethora of posts and too many threads
He's buying an Uzi, to kill terrorists dead.
On Gunther, On Freakshow, On Phony Gonzollez
How much more wit, will he grace upon us?
He's dashing, handsome, or clever He'll tell us
When we cut him a new one, he'll say you're just jealous.
He's not technically retarded, informed, or obese
He's got a Guns n Ammo, for 5 finger release.
So here is to you, and the next time you're wrong
I'll Pen you a bud light "here's to you Mr" song.

L.A. Chieffan
05-31-2012, 10:03 AM

HAHA, you still get around in a horse and buggy?

05-31-2012, 10:04 AM
Milk Milk Lemonade.....

05-31-2012, 10:07 AM
Mama Mia. Papa Pee-ya. Baby making diarrhea.

Hammock Parties
05-31-2012, 10:09 AM
I got a lot of rep for this.

The stars are aligning this weekend for a watershed moment in the Scott Pioli era.

The 49ers, and NFC teams in general, rarely play well at Arrowhead when the Chiefs are competitive. We're 2-0, our defense is kicking ass, and Alex Smith sucks. Arrowhead is going to be rocking and we're healthy and on the upswing, with room to improve.

Matt Cassel, Dwayne Bowe, Jamaal Charles, Chris Chambers, Tony Moeaki, Thomas Jones, Dexter McCluster, Tamba Hali, Eric Berry...they're all lying in the weeds, waiting to have their breakout game. If two or three of those guys go off, we win by 14+. If four or five of them explode, we win by 21+. If more than that go off, holy shit, look out.

I think most of them are going to go off.

We're going to rip off the 49ers' heads and shit down their necks.

This game will be over by halftime.

Complete and total domination. This ass kicking will be on par with the 41-0 shellacking we laid on San Francisco in 2006. It COULD even approach the 44-9 destruction of 1997.

You heard it here first.

We're a powder keg, and this week we EXPLODE.

http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/9602/young2.gif (http://img684.imageshack.us/i/young2.gif/)

05-31-2012, 10:09 AM
This is the next one I found by comment, it relates to a Sept 2004 game where a Denver fan(with an IQ below 159) dropped by to talk trash, in attempted haiku.

Denver fans talking trash
Muffled sounds come from their ass
Offensive tackles give up sacks
their best reciever....Ashley Nash?
KC offense, flexes its might
Donk fans Cry on Sunday night.

Another planeteer provided what I felt was the best rebuttal in that thread and still proves worthy of note today. Congratulations Extreme Chief

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
FVCK THE BRONCOS!!!!!!!!!!!!

L.A. Chieffan
05-31-2012, 10:11 AM
159 is genious.

05-31-2012, 10:40 AM
This one is the next I found. It was by request in response to a political thread in the form of a poem(a bad one) regarding the 2004 election and charges against a fox news commentator. Didn't know what in the hel'n they were talking about.

Angry, Bitter, Former man
Wax lip, 'giner Full of sand
Cut off nose to spite thy face
Cut off WHAT? Presidential race.

Another Liberal Filled with hate
November 2nd, seals their fate
Already working on the spin
Desperation, Dubya Wins.

Down to gutter, Dig Up trash
Must have gravel, in your ass.

O'reilly Innocent
No Make calls
If you don't like it
suk mah baows.

My favorite other response to that thread
Ode to Penis

Born as a woman
Raised as a man
do I squat or do I stand
when I go to the can

05-31-2012, 10:48 AM
must have been an inspired month. Maybe you had to be there at the time.

This was induced by bad trolling.

sdchiefs has again dumped upon us
he's got more Chiefsplanet names
than Phony Gonzalez

He says that he's board,
His kids are home sick

barfing, puking, explosive crapping
He's got a few minutes
the kids are now napping

He's surfing the net
this skit was a dud
his fingers are tired
from pulling his pud.

05-31-2012, 10:51 AM
Planes can break in half in mid air
I should always PIIHB
People without carpentry skills shouldn't make doggie doors and ramps
the broncos suck
don't feed the trolls

05-31-2012, 01:42 PM
I got a lot of rep for this.

You got rep? I call shenanegans.

05-31-2012, 02:06 PM
Your posts have oft times made me laugh
I must admit it’s true
Thou tootest thine own horn so hard
Your lips are turning blue

Mr. BackseatModNuts
05-31-2012, 02:15 PM
When I'm on my computer I'll break out my Ode to Chiefsplanet. It was money. I'm not too shy to say it.

05-31-2012, 04:30 PM
I was obviously entering a brown period in my life

In a meeting, Up in front,
A gurgle happens in my gut.
Sensation growing, moving down
Please Oh Please, no Noise of Brown.

Pinching cheeks with all my might
Hope to God the Seals' tight.
If it happens, and my Crack gets tacky
I'm so fooked...My pants, light khaki.

Presentation, finish quick
The smell escapes, makes people sick.
No I can't take any questions
Must go deal with Indigestion.

Throwing People out of my way,
they'll be sorry if I stay.
Run for bathroom Doing fine,
Grab A stall, thank God no Line.

Explosion Happens, volume triples
Did Crapnel chunks just hit my nipple?
I made it through, and tamed this beast
Hold my Breath and Sigh Relief.

Into room They come,
as Toilet Drains,
As I proudly walk, the walk of Shame.

05-31-2012, 04:33 PM

05-31-2012, 05:02 PM
This was a response to a direct challenge from an eggo fan slut who was being acting like a ditchpig to our very own katipan

Originally Posted by Iowanian
She posts just like badgirl
Her cooter, gigantic.
If it was christened a name
It would be Titanic.

A beaver abused,
frosted clothes it is wearing
the uterus Sprained,
A worn out Cervical Bearing.

She posts with a cackle,
an annoying type gobble,
her pelvis belt cracking
she walks with a wobble.

She thinks that chiefsplanet
is where Football Mens talk
She's cruising our village
for Internet Caulk.

Mer was your daddy
she made you her biatch
if stupid had value
your ass would be rich.