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Count Alex's Losses
06-06-2012, 11:36 AM
These are awesome. ROFL

When I take my boxers off at night, I try and throw them directly on her face.

I call her bro all the time.

When she calls me with a big sob story about her day, I'll let her vent then ask her "Who is this?"

I'll slam on the brakes and yell when shes not paying attention and I'm driving.

If she loses me in a store I'll wander around and loudly say her name.

If shes being cranky/ picky I'll look at the cat we have and say "Mommys being a bitch"

Fart silently under the blankets while in bed, then lift her side of the blankets up and put them down again really fast so she gets blown in the face with a blast of warm fart air.

If she wants to cuddle in bed and I'm not feeling it, I'll grab her and and try to make her touch my asshole. She freaks out.

Tuck my junk behind my jegs when I know shes going to try to touch it sometimes. Always catches her off guard.

Lay facing her in bed if shes reading, I'll pretend to be asleep and she'll reach over me to turn off the light when shes finished, I'll open my eyes super wide and scream, she loses it. (Punch reflex, hurts, but its worth it)

Fart in the car and lock the power windows.

If shes near the bathroom and I'm pooping, I'll reach and open the door and silently maintain eye contact with her as long as possible.

Rain Man
06-06-2012, 11:39 AM
Women try to touch men's junk? Really? I think this is fake.

DMAC
06-06-2012, 11:53 AM
LMAO

Donger
06-06-2012, 11:54 AM
Exist.

L.A. Chieffan
06-06-2012, 11:55 AM
Tag team her and a hooker while videotaping it and listening to Sussudio

DaKCMan AP
06-06-2012, 12:13 PM
Women try to touch men's junk? Really? I think this is fake.

Yes, yes they do.

Bowser
06-06-2012, 12:15 PM
Find ways to stay above the ground.

Fish
06-06-2012, 12:32 PM
Divorce.

Okie_Apparition
06-06-2012, 12:35 PM
ending sentences with so

Rain Man
06-06-2012, 01:51 PM
Yes, yes they do.

No, you're just thinking of pornography. That's fiction. We're talking about real life.

DMAC
06-06-2012, 01:57 PM
ending sentences with so

I see what you did there?

Saulbadguy
06-06-2012, 02:16 PM
I sing pop songs and replace every word with "meow".

DaKCMan AP
06-06-2012, 02:17 PM
No, you're just thinking of pornography. That's fiction. We're talking about real life.

Are you insinuating that my real life is fiction?

The Rick
06-06-2012, 02:20 PM
Tuck my junk behind my jegs when I know shes going to try to touch it sometimes. Always catches her off guard.
The author obviously isn't married to his SO yet.

Discuss Thrower
06-06-2012, 02:28 PM
Sounds every bit of what RaiderRoomate does to his girl.

frankotank
06-06-2012, 02:35 PM
Tag team her and a hooker while videotaping it and listening to Sussudio

and flexing! don't forget the flexing!

American Psycho rep.
just watched in on VUDU yesterday. awesome.

DMAC
06-06-2012, 02:40 PM
Wake her up with my breath.

notorious
06-06-2012, 02:41 PM
That's gold.

The last one is simply amazing. ROFL

frankotank
06-06-2012, 02:41 PM
I find that slipping into the laundry room just before she walks by and jumping out and screaming at the top of my lungs produces extreme annoyance.

also, the desire for cuddling can be easily erased by simply placing ones buttocks in close proximity of the cuddlers body and ripping a good one. I find it HI-LAR-IOUS and it REALLY pisses her off.....and I'm out of the cuddle.....just like that! BRILLIANT!

frankotank
06-06-2012, 02:51 PM
That's gold.

The last one is simply amazing. ROFL

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0TToh16lpHc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Fire Me Boy!
06-06-2012, 02:52 PM
The author obviously isn't married to his SO yet.

My wife of more than 9 years touches my junk all the time. She'll just randomly grab.

Sofa King
06-06-2012, 03:20 PM
LMAO

Some of those are definitely awesome.

Setsuna
06-06-2012, 03:58 PM
Are you insinuating that my real life is fiction?

That wasn't a chick...

DaKCMan AP
06-06-2012, 07:43 PM
That wasn't a chick...

Yeah it was.

Now the stripper that once tried to grab my junk I'm not so sure about..