View Full Version : Chiefs Best Whitlock one liners?

Hammock Parties
06-12-2012, 07:36 AM
Box set of The Wire on the line.


Saul Good
06-12-2012, 07:44 AM
Drew Bledsoe gay?

06-12-2012, 07:53 AM
"Yes, I'd like to supersize."

06-12-2012, 07:55 AM

06-12-2012, 08:06 AM
"Couple inches of pain"


06-12-2012, 08:07 AM
"Jeff George is the greatest QB ever."

06-12-2012, 08:11 AM
"I debased a feel-good sports moment".

06-12-2012, 08:22 AM
"Mixed Plate, make the fries CRISPY."

Rain Man
06-12-2012, 09:07 AM
I think it would have to be his revelation of the Watergate scandal.

Pasta Giant Meatball
06-12-2012, 09:08 AM
Add a little broth, potato, and baby you got a stew goin

06-12-2012, 09:15 PM
"I'll have the salad"

beach tribe
06-12-2012, 10:19 PM
Clayton pays homage to his hero.

06-12-2012, 10:24 PM
"I quit!" had to be the best thing he ever said

06-12-2012, 10:28 PM
Sex is overrated

06-12-2012, 11:06 PM
I can't think of any. I don't even dislike him. I just don't think much he writes really resonates with me as much as he'd apparently like to believe.

06-12-2012, 11:22 PM
:clap:Add a little broth, potato, and baby you got a stew goin

06-13-2012, 04:49 AM

06-13-2012, 04:59 AM

I thought Phobia created this and it was used by Whitlock later.

06-13-2012, 05:51 AM
Nom nom nom.

06-13-2012, 06:29 AM
I can't think of any.

Not even TrINT Green?

06-13-2012, 08:04 AM
Classic Whitlock column:

I am not at liberty to explain how I obtained a confidential instant-message exchange between Chiefs president/general manager Carl Peterson and Raiders owner Al Davis.

But I was able to verify that if this computer communication between Peterson and Davis did indeed happen on Tuesday, it reveals a troubling and hilarious relationship between two of the most outdated and inept football executives working today.


KingCarl@huntmoney.com: Al, I apologize for not being able to personally thank you following our big victory over your Raiders on Sunday. It goes without saying that I will forever be in your debt.

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: Carl, don't worry about it. Anything the Raiders organization can do to keep you employed within our division we are committed to making happen. We've read the reports back here that Clark Hunt is thinking about replacing you. The Raiders do not want to see that happen. We hope that 2-14 is enough progress for Clark to keep you and Herm Edwards around for at least one more season.

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: Al, we feel the same way about you here in Kansas City. The Chiefs need you in charge in Oakland so we have a shot at avoiding last place in the AFC West. Your stewardship of the Raiders has given us great pleasure in Kansas City. We love what you're doing with JaMarcus Russell. I'm not sure we could've won that game without JaMarcus' assistance.

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: Again, don't worry about it. After the way Tyler Thigpen played in the first game, we felt like we owed you the best of JaMarcus Russell. If you notice, we made a point of putting the game in his hands rather than Darren McFadden's.

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: That was great. McFadden ran for 160 yards in the first game, and he only ran it seven times in Oakland. THANK YOU!!!

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: We owed it to you. Hell, you drafted Glenn Dorsey. Would it really be fair for us to get maximum production from our talented rookie when your overweight rookie can't get off the line of scrimmage? I wouldn't do that to you, Carl. We've been milking the NFL for money for too long together for me to take advantage of your inability to draft.

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: Hey, you drafted JaMarcus Russell No. 1 overall. He's as bloated and out of shape as our defensive tackle. We both know how to screw up a high draft pick.

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: Quit being so defensive. We all have our weak spots. You can't draft and I run off good coaches. I'm comfortable with my weaknesses.

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: I drafted Derrick Thomas, Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson. You can't hit them all.

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: You know what Derrick Thomas, Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson will get you?

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: What?
DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: One playoff victory since 1993.
KingCarl@huntmoney.com: LOL. That's about as funny as Tom Cable as head coach. Was Larry The Cable Guy unavailable? Wouldn't return your calls?

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: Easy, Carl. Your guy Herm isn't exactly setting the world on fire. He's a defensive "guru" and his defense can't get off the field.

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: Hey, why are we taking shots at each other? We both got what we wanted this weekend. I got a victory and can lie to my fan base and claim we're making real progress. You helped me remain employed through the holidays. Happy Holidays, Al!

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: Happy Holidays to you, too. Speaking of the holidays, my wife saw a wonderful black leather trench coat she thought would be perfect for you. Are you still wearing the old one we got you as a thank you for selecting Trezelle Jenkins?

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: Funny you should mention Christmas. My wife and I were on the Plaza shopping the other night and spotted a lovely black leather sweat suit we thought you might like. And actually you sent me the original trench coat when I gave Carlton Gray a record contract. When we drafted Trezelle, you just sent flowers.

DarthRaider@oldncrazy.com: My memory is so bad. I can't keep straight all the gifts I sent you. But I'll never forget the black Mercedes we got you when you chose Elvis Grbac over Rich Gannon. You still driving that?

KingCarl@huntmoney.com: Hey, Al, it was good catching up. I gotta go. Mike Shanahan just e-mailed, and I have to assure him our defensive ends will continue to be fooled on every bootleg.

06-13-2012, 08:14 AM
I liked the article where he was given a hard time at a Power and Light bar even though he was wearing his custom made shorts.