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joesomebody
08-18-2012, 02:19 AM
Many hardened veterans on the board, could use a quick rundown of some lessons learned and friendly advice.

New Year's time frame is when I'm going to need to have the ring. My budget is flexible, preferably under 4k.

I've partnered with her best friend to steer me in the right direction, and apparently she has had her heart set on a specific ring from chain jewelry store that is like 2.1k

Is it really that simple? You just buy the one that she tells her best friend she wants? Pretty sure this is a trap.

I think I'd like to support a locally owned store rather than a chain, but it really comes down to whatever makes her happy.

KC Tattoo
08-18-2012, 02:25 AM
Don't & run to the hills.

DaneMcCloud
08-18-2012, 02:25 AM
Dammit!

Baconeater
08-18-2012, 02:25 AM
Whatever you buy her should make her happy. If it doesn't...well then you're involved with someone who has their priorities out of whack. The people make the marriage...not the ring.

joesomebody
08-18-2012, 02:26 AM
Dammit!Also, Dane McCloud contributions can up the budget... :) Welcome back btw

Phobia
08-18-2012, 02:31 AM
You're like 24, right? Here's my advice. Put that money in the bank. Marry a gal when you're 30.

joesomebody
08-18-2012, 02:33 AM
You're like 24, right? Here's my advice. Put that money in the bank. Marry a gal when you're 30.I was 22 when I joined the board in 2004, which puts me at... Oh shit... 30

Phobia
08-18-2012, 02:40 AM
I was 22 when I joined the board in 2004, which puts me at... Oh shit... 30

Awesome. Marry that broad. Congrats.

Here's what I did.... I went to a diamond wholesaler and bought a diamond. Then we went across the hall and put it into a mount. Then I mounted. That's what you should do.

DaneMcCloud
08-18-2012, 02:43 AM
Here's what I did.... I went to a diamond wholesaler and bought a diamond. Then we went across the hall and put it into a mount. Then I mounted. That's what you should do.

Did you use the Makita or the DeWalt?

joesomebody
08-18-2012, 02:45 AM
Awesome. Marry that broad. Congrats.

Here's what I did.... I went to a diamond wholesaler and bought a diamond. Then we went across the hall and put it into a mount. Then I mounted. That's what you should do.

Will definitely look into this. Thanks Phobia.

DaneMcCloud
08-18-2012, 02:46 AM
Also, Dane McCloud contributions can up the budget... :) Welcome back btw

Thanks, Joe!

Yeah, definitely take Phob's advice. If there's a diamond district in your town, definitely visit. If you have time, do a little research because diamond dealers will try to confuse you with different certifications, which will only make your head spin.

Buy what you can afford and nothing more. Congrats and good luck!

bowener
08-18-2012, 02:57 AM
Spend the money on a house.

AustinChief
08-18-2012, 03:11 AM
Thanks, Joe!

Yeah, definitely take Phob's advice. If there's a diamond district in your town, definitely visit. If you have time, do a little research because diamond dealers will try to confuse you with different certifications, which will only make your head spin.

Buy what you can afford and nothing more. Congrats and good luck!

This. Research a TON and comparison shop a ton. Diamonds have a completely false price point(treated as scarce but in reality they aren't), so this means you have quite a bit of room to either get a deal or get ripped off.

pimpchief
08-18-2012, 03:17 AM
That's alot of money to spend on a ring.

BIG_DADDY
08-18-2012, 03:19 AM
Cubic.................oh nevermind

Munson
08-18-2012, 03:20 AM
Check out some pawn shops.

Phobia
08-18-2012, 03:38 AM
Spend the money on a house.

Agree. Discuss it with her. See if she'll settle for an amazing CZ. I'm nervous each time my wife leaves the house alone because she did pretty well for herself. I'd much rather have an awesome master bath for the money I have in a diamond.

Luke Warm
08-18-2012, 05:53 AM
Be original with your proposal. Make it memorable for her. I absolutely love my lady so I planned something very nice for her.

Luke Warm
08-18-2012, 05:57 AM
PS - always have a Stunner ready to drop in case she says no.

bevischief
08-18-2012, 05:59 AM
Make her pick it. Otherwise you will never hear the end of it. Also tell her your budget before you go looking.

Luke Warm
08-18-2012, 06:01 AM
Make her pick it. Otherwise you will never hear the end of it. Also tell her your budget before you go looking.

Damn! Who is that in your avatar?

Flachief58
08-18-2012, 06:06 AM
Make her pick it. Otherwise you will never hear the end of it. Also tell her your budget before you go looking.

This.

bevischief
08-18-2012, 06:10 AM
Damn! Who is that in your avatar?

I would like to know this as well.

Luke Warm
08-18-2012, 06:11 AM
I would like to know this as well.

She is just..wow.

bevischief
08-18-2012, 06:12 AM
This.

Been married 12 years and counting.

Flachief58
08-18-2012, 06:25 AM
Been married 12 years and counting.

17 for me and to this day, I let her pick out her her own jewlery. It saves me from the WTF expression that women are so good at.

prhom
08-18-2012, 06:30 AM
Make her pick it. Otherwise you will never hear the end of it. Also tell her your budget before you go looking.

I agree on having her help pick it out. My wife picked the style she wanted, then I picked the stone on my own. That's where the real money is and it's better to make that call yourself based on your budget. There will always be a little disappointment on her part since most of the display rings have 2ct CZs in them so whatever you get her will be much smaller than what she remembers seeing in the store.

Designer rings are a double-edged sword. On one hand you get some really nice designs that make whatever diamond(s) you pick look better than they would otherwise, but on the other hand you will spend more on the ring and not be able to get as large of a diamond.

Luke Warm
08-18-2012, 06:53 AM
I dont see what the big deal with rings is anyway. It's all so materialistic to me. The "yes" from my girl was all I needed. I know i sound corny as fuck lol.

Fire Me Boy!
08-18-2012, 06:56 AM
Going on 10 years now. When I asked my wife, we'd never discussed marriage, never looked at rings, etc. I picked the ring out completely on my own. It's impossible to go wrong with a classic, solitaire princess-cut diamond set in a simple gold or platinum band.

bevischief
08-18-2012, 07:30 AM
I agree on having her help pick it out. My wife picked the style she wanted, then I picked the stone on my own. That's where the real money is and it's better to make that call yourself based on your budget. There will always be a little disappointment on her part since most of the display rings have 2ct CZs in them so whatever you get her will be much smaller than what she remembers seeing in the store.

Designer rings are a double-edged sword. On one hand you get some really nice designs that make whatever diamond(s) you pick look better than they would otherwise, but on the other hand you will spend more on the ring and not be able to get as large of a diamond.

My wife picked the stone first then we lucked out on a sale to get it mounted to a ring.

mr. tegu
08-18-2012, 08:01 AM
Going on 10 years now. When I asked my wife, we'd never discussed marriage, never looked at rings, etc. I picked the ring out completely on my own. It's impossible to go wrong with a classic, solitaire princess-cut diamond set in a simple gold or platinum band.

Agreed. You just need to spend some effort leading up to the purchase figuring out what she likes. Maybe look at jewelry for your mom and say "do you like classic or something fancy?" or "is white gold or yellow gold better?" this is just a quick example but it's simple to figure out the basic style she likes then go from there. That's what I did and it seemed to work really good. BTW I found Shane Co to have the best prices and value. I bought mine there and did layaway and just made payments on it for 6 months.

cdcox
08-18-2012, 08:10 AM
Two months salary is pretty typical.

JD10367
08-18-2012, 08:16 AM
"Under 4k" is a wide range. Personally I wouldn't spend that much, unless you're rich. Tailor the expectations to the paycheck. But a 2k diamond, depending upon clarity and color, can swing from just over a grand to just under six grand. Given that it's from a chain store, the clarity and color probably run to the low end and you can probably get it at a good price.

When I went shopping for a ring, I didn't want a plain round diamond. I wanted something with a little style. I found this thing called a "wrap ring": you can buy a bare diamond on a ring in the traditional style, and put a wrap ring (a second ring with two stones and a hole in the center to accomodate the diamond) around it. I made it more unusual by getting a marquise-cut diamond (long and thin). Whole thing was a grand and she always gets comments on it. I picked blue sapphires as they're her favorite stone, but you can put whatever stones you think your woman would like for color/type. You can keep the rings seperate at first and then once she sees them you can choose to have them "welded" together with a drop of gold, so that she doesn't lose half the ring.

griZZly64
08-18-2012, 08:29 AM
2k is a lot man. I just got my lady a ring for 500 bucks on clearance and she loves it (yes its a diamond.) If you're feeling pressured into spending 2000 on a ring then this woman is not right for you.

Pooch
08-18-2012, 09:41 AM
I spent $11,000 on my wife's ring. She wanted something cheap but I didn't. Still makes me feel good when I make her take it off if we are going to the wrong side of town. She crys everytime!!

Dayze
08-18-2012, 09:44 AM
I bought my wife a modest ring....like 1000 if I recall. She said if she had it to do all over again shed rather just have a nice big fake rock or something other than diamonds. Oh and don't get a ring with a ton of stone settings. We went to get a few loose ones tightened up in the prongs and discovered quite a few more that we're soon to be loose, and to fix them it was more than the bands themselves.

I'm going to replace my wife's one day with a solitaire, and possibly without a diamond.

Note the "to do all over again" she said is in reference to the fact she can't wear hers now due to the loose stones etc. she said shed want something other than diamond and we could put her loose stones into some other jewelry

lewdog
08-18-2012, 09:48 AM
Make her pick it. Otherwise you will never hear the end of it. Also tell her your budget before you go looking.

I will be making the same step as the OP pretty soon. I talked with my girlfriend about this and she is totally fine with discussing how much I am willing to spend and wants to pick it out herself. Another reason I know she is a keeper is because she is a realist about my ability to pick something out!

I will be in the same 4k range as you but would prefer to spend around 2k. She wants a nice ring but also wants us to save for a house.

Best of luck, OP!

Buehler445
08-18-2012, 09:49 AM
Make her pick it. Otherwise you will never hear the end of it. Also tell her your budget before you go looking.

Eh. She liked the stone I picked out way more than the one she thought she wanted.

But most women aren't like that.

I used http://www.bluenile.com and really liked the service I got.

Dayze
08-18-2012, 09:51 AM
Mine picked hers out. She's modest too. She even prefers carnations over roses. Winning.

Now the cost of the books the reads, and the frequency is another story. Broad can knock out a big novel in about 4 days. Insane

notorious
08-18-2012, 10:02 AM
Check in one of these:

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4668758985868574&id=4cef74694f9db64415f1ab8902136b1f


Or use this:

http://ts2.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4594932794590185&id=2240e986e41ab20ed56b024914ab979e

If she rejects you because of it, she is a gold digger. If she embraces you, you found a winner.

notorious
08-18-2012, 10:05 AM
Also, tell her that you get to spend the same amount of money on strippers and coke for your bachelor party as you do on her ring.

Buehler445
08-18-2012, 10:24 AM
Also, tell her that you get to spend the same amount of money on strippers and coke for your bachelor party as you do on her ring.

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Why the fuck did you not tell me this when I got married?! GENIOUS!

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 10:30 AM
I bought the wife a gorgeous 1ct and platinum ring in 2004 from Blue Nile. She had no idea, and I went with a classic solitaire that she loved. The bigger question is if she prefers yellow gold, white gold, or platinum. I went with platinum for durability, as I knew yellow gold wasn't for us, and plat and white gold look nearly identical.

At Blue Nile you pick from their entire selection of diamonds, listed by ctw, color, clarity, etc. Then you can choose a setting if you want, or have that done locally.

In my research, I found that I saved quite a bit over local options, especially since I didn't pay sales tax (though that may have changed in 8 years).

If you do go Blue Nile, sign up for FatCash at Fatwallet, you will get 3% back in cash.
http://www.fatwallet.com/Blue-Nile-coupons/

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 10:32 AM
you might look at the page I linked too as well. If you care, they also have this deal going on:

<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tbody><tr><td style="padding: 10px 0 10px 10px;" valign="top">

</td> <td style="padding: 10px;" valign="top" width="100%"> $150 off Next Purchase with $1000 Engagement Ring Purchase (http://www.fatwallet.com/Blue-Nile-coupons/code-628442/)
<table style="margin-top:12px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tbody><tr> </tr></tbody></table></td></tr></tbody></table>

Luke Warm
08-18-2012, 10:39 AM
Would she say yes to you REGARDLESS of the ring is the question you'd want to ask yourself at some point too. If not, might as well get her a platinum shovel.

Rausch
08-18-2012, 10:40 AM
Rausch is not the person to ask.

In fact, CP is not the place to ask...

Bump
08-18-2012, 10:40 AM
engagement rings are such a scam. But you are obligated to empty your bank account for one, so good luck!

Superbowltrashcan
08-18-2012, 10:44 AM
I spent $11,000 on my wife's ring. She wanted something cheap but I didn't. Still makes me feel good when I make her take it off if we are going to the wrong side of town. She crys everytime!!

This plus a few more $K... I know yikes!

But believe me you just gotta do it. That ring could be forever. Go big and never have to upgrade. No starter stone.... No bb rifle until we make sure we are ready to have an uzi. Just go crazy over it max it out and make her jaw drop. It is the one thing that is never forgotten. And if you are still together in 30 years and you only spent say 10K hell that is less than a dollar a day and you will certainly get back fringe benefits worth more than that....

Play the game... You will win....

Zebedee DuBois
08-18-2012, 10:45 AM
My advice (30+yr. vet): Do not go into debt for a ring, do not go into debt for a wedding. Spend what you can afford. Big money should go towards more substantial and meaningful things for her and yourself - like a house, etc. A diamond is a mere trinket.

Bump
08-18-2012, 10:57 AM
honestly, the materials and value of the ring itself and the whole production of the wedding is more important to her than getting married to you. At least that is the case with most women.

Fire Me Boy!
08-18-2012, 11:00 AM
This plus a few more $K... I know yikes!

But believe me you just gotta do it. That ring could be forever. Go big and never have to upgrade. No starter stone.... No bb rifle until we make sure we are ready to have an uzi. Just go crazy over it max it out and make her jaw drop. It is the one thing that is never forgotten. And if you are still together in 30 years and you only spent say 10K hell that is less than a dollar a day and you will certainly get back fringe benefits worth more than that....

Play the game... You will win....

Not this.





My advice (30+yr. vet): Do not go into debt for a ring, do not go into debt for a wedding. Spend what you can afford. Big money should go towards more substantial and meaningful things for her and yourself - like a house, etc. A diamond is a mere trinket.

This.

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 11:05 AM
My advice (30+yr. vet): Do not go into debt for a ring, do not go into debt for a wedding. Spend what you can afford. Big money should go towards more substantial and meaningful things for her and yourself - like a house, etc. A diamond is a mere trinket.

this. between the engagement ring, wedding bands, wedding, and honeymoon we were all in under 24k.

Valiant
08-18-2012, 11:15 AM
Well you know what style of ring she likes from her friend..

I would take that, browse some pawn shops, either find it whole or take the ring and get a better diamond installed from a reputable online distributor for cheap.. If buying a pawnshop I would pay an appraiser to go with you so you are getting the real deal..

Or maybe find the ring you thinks she likes in a booklet, circle it with a question mark and accidentally leave it around the house..

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan
08-18-2012, 11:22 AM
this. between the engagement ring, wedding bands, wedding, and honeymoon we were all in under 24k.

Wow.

Course, when I got married 21 years ago, I was still an E-6 in the Army and not exactly swimming with cash, even with just coming back from Desert Shield/Storm with absolutely nowhere to spend money.

I think between rings, wedding and honeymoon, we were in under $6K and most of that was her parents insisting on a bigger wedding than we wanted.

The majority of the money went into the house down payment where I was stationed.

Setsuna
08-18-2012, 11:23 AM
Isn't it 3 months salary?

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan
08-18-2012, 11:31 AM
Isn't it 3 months salary?

If you let the diamond industry think for you, then yes.
:shake:

Zebedee DuBois
08-18-2012, 11:47 AM
In the late 70s, I bought my future bride a diamond.
I spent $200.
It was tiny.
Puny.
I was in my last year of college, and probably had $100 cash to my name after that purchase. But I didn't go into debt.
Said yes.
About 8 or 10 years later, that ring got lost in the garden.
She cried.

If the size of the diamond is a make or break deal - you got problems.
If you have love, a twist tie would do.

Buehler445
08-18-2012, 12:03 PM
If the size of the diamond is a make or break deal - you got problems.
If you have love, a twist tie would do.

It's ALL this.

As long as the twist tie has some thought and meaning behind it, you're good.

joesomebody
08-18-2012, 12:05 PM
Thanks guys! This helps a lot.

For the record, I also think 2.1k is pretty modest. It is a lot of money, but ideally this is something that she will have forever.

I'm far from rich, but I won't be going into debt for this and thankfully we both think the whole "2 months salary" price point is insane.

I'm going to get some style details from her friend this weekend.

notorious
08-18-2012, 12:07 PM
If you have love, a twist tie would do.


There you go. I agree 100%.

BWillie
08-18-2012, 12:07 PM
Get something fake, that looks real. Save 3.9k.

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 12:15 PM
Wow.

Course, when I got married 21 years ago, I was still an E-6 in the Army and not exactly swimming with cash, even with just coming back from Desert Shield/Storm with absolutely nowhere to spend money.

I think between rings, wedding and honeymoon, we were in under $6K and most of that was her parents insisting on a bigger wedding than we wanted.

The majority of the money went into the house down payment where I was stationed.

Sorry, I looked it up, we were actually just under 19k. I kept thinking the wedding and reception was 12k, but it was 7k.

Wedding/Reception for 150 7k
Engagement Ring 5k
Wedding Bands 3k
Honeymoon 3.5k

Mr. Laz
08-18-2012, 12:22 PM
not causing financial problems by spending too much on an engagement ring is more important then trying to show off with a shiny big rock. Imo.

BWillie
08-18-2012, 12:22 PM
Sorry, I looked it up, we were actually just under 19k. I kept thinking the wedding and reception was 12k, but it was 7k.

Wedding/Reception for 150 7k
Engagement Ring 5k
Wedding Bands 3k
Honeymoon 3.5k

Good lord....why on earth do ppl spend that much. I know it's standard stuff, just boggles my mind. I just can't wrap my head around this marriage thing. One day my chick is going to leave me 'cuz I won't marry her, ah well

If I got married it would be like this
Wedding/Receiption $375, Vegas Chapel
Engagement Ring, $0
Wedding Bands, $0
Honeymoon 20k

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 12:26 PM
Good lord....why on earth do ppl spend that much. I know it's standard stuff, just boggles my mind. I just can't wrap my head around this marriage thing. One day my chick is going to leave me 'cuz I won't marry her, ah well

If I got married it would be like this
Wedding/Receiption $375, Vegas Chapel
Engagement Ring, $0
Wedding Bands, $0
Honeymoon 20k

you need a reality check. our wedding was CHEAP.

A friends sister got married in KC and the reception venue was $15k. Just. to. reserve. it.

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 12:28 PM
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/23/us-wedding-costs-idUSBRE82M11O20120323

Average cost of a wedding in US is $27k+


and that does NOT include the costs of honeymoon or wedding bands.

Buehler445
08-18-2012, 12:28 PM
Thanks guys! This helps a lot.

For the record, I also think 2.1k is pretty modest. It is a lot of money, but ideally this is something that she will have forever.

I'm far from rich, but I won't be going into debt for this and thankfully we both think the whole "2 months salary" price point is insane.

I'm going to get some style details from her friend this weekend.

It depends on what she wants, but what I did for my wife, is get a solitare setting with a round cut with a lot of clarity.

She has small hands and I picked the smallest setting I could so as to make the diamond stand out (and look bigger).

I chose platinum because she doesn't like yellow gold.

I chose the round cut because it had the most sparkle for the size.

It's all up to what your fiancee likes. Mine liked sparkly. Some like huge buttresses like the cathedral of Notre Dame. Some like diamonds on the side with the huge settings to get a huge overall ring. But you're definitely going to sacrifice diamond size to fit the budget.

My wife has really petite hands, so small and simple with the most money in the rock worked really well.

notorious
08-18-2012, 12:39 PM
If I got married it would be like this
Wedding/Receiption $375, Vegas Chapel
Engagement Ring, $0
Wedding Bands, $0
Honeymoon 2k
House Down Payment 20K

Added to your post.


If more people did this, there would be a lot less divorces during the first 5-7 years of marriage.

Groves
08-18-2012, 01:33 PM
Lots of good input here. Take the wisdom.

Ring advice dies down quickly, though.

We're all hoping to convert your ring advice thread into a marriage advice thread. Much more interesting.

Who's going to be the leader in this here upcoming marriage?

rico
08-18-2012, 01:38 PM
I proposed to my fiancee at Perkins, which was where we met 10 years ago. We were drunk after watching Tom Green perform stand up at a local bar. I proposed to her with a ring that I bought for 25 cents out of one of those little toy machines at Perkins.

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/375037_846555194823_1416013424_n.jpg

I bought her a real ring a couple weeks later. :)

Bump
08-18-2012, 01:39 PM
Good lord....why on earth do ppl spend that much. I know it's standard stuff, just boggles my mind. I just can't wrap my head around this marriage thing. One day my chick is going to leave me 'cuz I won't marry her, ah well




because they are obligated to. If you don't spend tens of thousands on a wedding, most girls will be like "oh fuck him, he doesn't love me enough to go bankrupt for a 1 day party that features ME"

the whole hallmark thing really. Like christmas, you're obligated to go buy thousands of dollars you don't have to buy crap that is made in China. It's propaganda, to get you to spend the money.

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 01:43 PM
I proposed to my fiancee at Perkins, which was where we met 10 years ago. We were drunk after watching Tom Green perform stand up at a local bar. I proposed to her with a ring that I bought for 25 cents out of one of those little toy machines at Perkins.

http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/375037_846555194823_1416013424_n.jpg

I bought her a real ring a couple weeks later. :)

:toast::toast:

DJ's left nut
08-18-2012, 01:46 PM
Do some basic diamond research first; basic 4-C stuff (cut, color, clarity and carat).

I spent several months combing through diamonds and finally decided that I thought cut and color were easily the most important. Clarity can be an issue, but there's no need to really overdo it. You can find an SI diamond where the inclusion will never be visible or if it is, can be placed under the setting. You pay a lot for really high clarity but don't get a hell of a lot of marginal benefit in it.

Make sure your color is in the colorless range (F and E is just fine) and spend some time learning how the ratios work on the cut. I don't recall them anymore (it was nearly a decade ago that I did the homework), but if your cut is screwed up the 'sparkle' won't be nearly as brilliant.

Oh, and avoid the 'gimmick' diamonds. The starburst cuts and stuff like that are just dumb.

I would strongly strongly recommend that you do your research and get your diamond apart from your setting. If you go with a 3-diamond setting, do the homework on all of them. If you go with a single large diamond and then smaller accent diamonds around it, they're less critical.

MIAdragon
08-18-2012, 01:46 PM
you need a reality check. our wedding was CHEAP.

A friends sister got married in KC and the reception venue was $15k. Just. to. reserve. it.

Sadly this, we spent close to 40K on a small wedding. :shake:

Pooch
08-18-2012, 01:48 PM
The only things that you can put in a prenup are things you own before marriage. So go all out and take it back in the end if it goes bad.

MIAdragon
08-18-2012, 01:51 PM
Do some basic diamond research first; basic 4-C stuff (cut, color, clarity and carat).

I spent several months combing through diamonds and finally decided that I thought cut and color were easily the most important. Clarity can be an issue, but there's no need to really overdo it. You can find an SI diamond where the inclusion will never be visible or if it is, can be placed under the setting. You pay a lot for really high clarity but don't get a hell of a lot of marginal benefit in it.

Make sure your color is in the colorless range (F and E is just fine) and spend some time learning how the ratios work on the cut. I don't recall them anymore (it was nearly a decade ago that I did the homework), but if your cut is screwed up the 'sparkle' won't be nearly as brilliant.

Oh, and avoid the 'gimmick' diamonds. The starburst cuts and stuff like that are just dumb.

I would strongly strongly recommend that you do your research and get your diamond apart from your setting. If you go with a 3-diamond setting, do the homework on all of them. If you go with a single large diamond and then smaller accent diamonds around it, they're less critical.


Was just going to post this, learn your diamonds son. I must have looked at hundreds of loose stones before finding the one I liked. Get the stone with the best cut, color and clarity you can afford. IMO size is not as important to the they are.

DJ's left nut
08-18-2012, 01:52 PM
not causing financial problems by spending too much on an engagement ring is more important then trying to show off with a shiny big rock. Imo.

Not cutting corners and having your wife's friends all look at her ring and go "oh...that's nice" is important as well.

Obviously you don't break yourself, but for a great deal many women, their wedding is something they've looked forward to their whole lives. Getting that ring and showing friends, families and all that neat stuff is a really big deal for them (it's the opening kickoff, so to speak). It's not the money but overwhelming excitement and they want to be proud.

I was in college and dropped several K on mine; spent my motorcycle money. I didn't have to, but I wanted her to be excited and proud of her ring. 8 years after she first got it, she still gets excited to have it cleaned every month.

Diamonds are a racket. However, they've become a part of the wedding ring and the ring is a really big deal, IMO. Nut up, spend your money and do it right.

Demonpenz
08-18-2012, 01:57 PM
This thread makes me feel good I decided not to get married.

Hog Farmer
08-18-2012, 02:06 PM
My advice is to buy a cheap ring and save your money for the child support payments you'll have in a couple years.

ThaVirus
08-18-2012, 02:11 PM
because they are obligated to. If you don't spend tens of thousands on a wedding, most girls will be like "oh **** him, he doesn't love me enough to go bankrupt for a 1 day party that features ME"

the whole hallmark thing really. Like christmas, you're obligated to go buy thousands of dollars you don't have to buy crap that is made in China. It's propaganda, to get you to spend the money.

Don't question.. CONSUME!!!

BWillie
08-18-2012, 02:59 PM
because they are obligated to. If you don't spend tens of thousands on a wedding, most girls will be like "oh **** him, he doesn't love me enough to go bankrupt for a 1 day party that features ME"

the whole hallmark thing really. Like christmas, you're obligated to go buy thousands of dollars you don't have to buy crap that is made in China. It's propaganda, to get you to spend the money.

F*ck her then. I buy like $70 worth of shit at Xmas. One of many reasons I'm so against marriage

Mr. Laz
08-18-2012, 03:04 PM
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/23/us-wedding-costs-idUSBRE82M11O20120323

Average cost of a wedding in US is $27k+

and that does NOT include the costs of honeymoon or wedding bands.
what a freaking racket

guilt you into flushing money down the shitter and then you end up fighting over money the first 5 years of your marriage.

save the money and pay off your car or something so you can have a little less stress and a lot more :hump:

Flachief58
08-18-2012, 03:23 PM
what a freaking racket

guilt you into flushing money down the shitter and then you end up fighting over money the first 5 years of your marriage.

save the money and pay off your car or something so you can have a little less stress and a lot more :hump:

No shit. Our wedding cost us just over $5000. Our rings ate up 1/2 of that. We had a small outdoor wedding in the country. Thankfully my wife agreed that the money was better spent elsewhere (like paying off CC's and cars). She did an excellent job putting it together with a very small budget .

notorious
08-18-2012, 04:21 PM
what a freaking racket

guilt you into flushing money down the shitter and then you end up fighting over money the first 5 years of your marriage.

save the money and pay off your car or something so you can have a little less stress and a lot more :hump:

Money problems are the #1 reason for divorce.

It's scary that people are willing to bury themselves in debt at the start of a marriage.

BWillie
08-18-2012, 04:27 PM
Money problems are the #1 reason for divorce.

It's scary that people are willing to bury themselves in debt at the start of a marriage.

This this this this

Planetman
08-18-2012, 04:33 PM
Take that ring money and buy a dog. You can kick the dog, throw the dog outside, lock the dog in a room or cage, the dog doesn't talk back, eats very little, doesn't use copious amounts of toilet paper, wear jewelry or overpriced shoes and clothes, etc. I could go on forever.

bevischief
08-18-2012, 04:37 PM
We planned our wedding a year out. Nothing for the hall. I paid for 3 kegs and meat and cheese trays. The moms and wife made just about everything else from scratch during that year (meatballs,mints...). We bought everything on sale and in bulk. We still have plates and plastic silverware 12 years later. We paid about 5k if that much and that includes the church, DJ, and pictures.

joesomebody
08-18-2012, 05:19 PM
Wait... I thought all I had to buy was a ring, rent a tux and show up. Isn't her family supposed to pay for the rest? ;)

lewdog
08-18-2012, 05:23 PM
The talks with my girlfriend have centered around her getting a nice ring (2-4k), us forgoing a wedding and using a few k to take a nice trip somewhere. Neither one of us can see dropping so much money on one day, when money can be saved for all the other enjoyment one can have in life or purchases like a house/car. Getting in debt for one day is just silly.

Earthling
08-18-2012, 05:32 PM
This thread reminded me how much I love my wife and I think I'll get her her another ring now...near 40 years married. Anyone know if they make some kind of really fancy twist-ties?

Planetman
08-18-2012, 05:36 PM
The talks with my girlfriend have centered around her getting a nice ring (2-4k), us forgoing a wedding and using a few k to take a nice trip somewhere. Neither one of us can see dropping so much money on one day, when money can be saved for all the other enjoyment one can have in life or purchases like a house/car. Getting in debt for one day is just silly.
Congratulations on alienating your future in-laws.

"That no good son of a bitch wouldn't even give my daughter a proper wedding!"

lewdog
08-18-2012, 05:40 PM
Congratulations on alienating your future in-laws.

"That no good son of a bitch wouldn't even give my daughter a proper wedding!"

ROFL

Both our families are pretty understanding about it and don't see a problem with it. We could even pay for plane tickets for them to come down here at separate times to see us and actually get to spend more time with us to celebrate our marriage. I am coming out of grad school with a good amount of debt so they both think we are being pretty smart about it even though I do make decent money for a new grad.

Still, have too see if the girlfriend actually feels the same way when the time comes. Damn women change their minds too much!

BWillie
08-18-2012, 05:44 PM
You don't need money to have a wedding. On My Name Is Earl, Joy and Crabman just got married at the city park and the reception was at a pizza buffet. It was lovely

mlyonsd
08-18-2012, 05:54 PM
When we were ring shopping my future wife would say, that one is pretty, that one is ugly, that one is awesome, this one is awful.

They all looked the same to me so I let her pick it out. She chose one a lot cheaper than I would have picked.

Mr. Laz
08-18-2012, 06:14 PM
This thread reminded me how much I love my wife and I think I'll get her her another ring now...near 40 years married. Anyone know if they make some kind of really fancy twist-ties?
If you just got a gold band at first they make rings with diamonds that go with a plain band.

In fact, every 'non-wealthy' person should just start with plain gold band with a nice inscription. Then after 10-15 years, if you haven't divorced, you can buy the diamond part of the ring to go with it. You should know what you can afford by then and not have such an "impress" pressure thing going on.

JD10367
08-18-2012, 06:18 PM
Engagement ring: $1,000

Wedding bands: don't remember, probably around $500

Flight to Vegas: probably $400 each, don't remember

Wedding at the outdoor Polynesian-style chapel on the pool grounds inside the Tropicana: around $650 (had about a dozen or two guests)

Post-wedding dinner in the Tropicana in a private room: $8*

*Actually $658, and my dad paid for it... but while waiting for the room to be ready he hit a slot machine for $650 :D

DJJasonp
08-18-2012, 06:45 PM
do not buy a diamond without a certficate. Period.

When plunking down that kind of cash for a diamond, you better know what you're getting.

Try places like GIA, Blue Nile, etc.....you can learn enough to ask the right questions and make sure you get what you're paying for.

Setsuna
08-18-2012, 06:56 PM
If you let the diamond industry think for you, then yes.
:shake:

I'd be more than willing to spend that much on the woman I love. You just cheap.

bevischief
08-18-2012, 06:57 PM
My wife picked it out then I left it the counter ounce we got home, I pretended to work on her her truck till she found it, about 10 minutes.

KC Jones
08-18-2012, 08:24 PM
Congratulations on alienating your future in-laws.

"That no good son of a bitch wouldn't even give my daughter a proper wedding!"

Since when is it the grooms responsibility to pay for the wedding? Fuck that - it's all on pops!

mikeyis4dcats.
08-18-2012, 09:14 PM
Since when is it the grooms responsibility to pay for the wedding? **** that - it's all on pops!

we paid for our entire weding ourselves. her family wasn't in a position to help much.

Rain Man
08-18-2012, 10:30 PM
Engagement rings are the worst problem that American men face. There's no winning - you're either a cheapskate or a fool.

KILLER_CLOWN
08-18-2012, 11:11 PM
Engagement rings are the worst problem that American men face. There's no winning - you're either a cheapskate or a fool.

You forgot or unmarried, 10 times over married.

prhom
08-18-2012, 11:31 PM
Engagement rings are the worst problem that American men face. There's no winning - you're either a cheapskate or a fool.

I don't think it's too bad. It just has to be comparable to other big purchases you make. If you buy your girl a $1000 ring then turn around and buy a $2000 tv then you're going to be in trouble.

BWillie
08-18-2012, 11:39 PM
I just don't understand the point of an expensive ring. Some fake rings cost $250 and look better than some 4k real one. Makes absolutely no sense to me, it serves no practical purpose to buy an expensive one

Rain Man
08-18-2012, 11:51 PM
I just don't understand the point of an expensive ring. Some fake rings cost $250 and look better than some 4k real one. Makes absolutely no sense to me, it serves no practical purpose to buy an expensive one

My wife has a fair amount of real jewelry, but when she wanted some "diamond" earrings, she just bought some glass ones. She bought them at about the size that would be appropriate for a woman of our age and income level if they were real, saying that if they were too big people would know they were fake. I thought it was clever and prudent, and saved us a lot of money.

joesomebody
08-19-2012, 06:58 PM
I think I found my diamond, problem is these things are stupid expensive.

Bluenile is a nice find though.

stonedstooge
08-19-2012, 07:08 PM
Ebay and Craigslist are full broken dreams (rings). You can get a giant rock for probably 30% of what a jeweler wants. Lots of reputible sellers on ebay. If you find one on Craigslist, meet them at a jeweler to have it certified

joesomebody
08-19-2012, 07:15 PM
Ebay and Craigslist are full broken dreams (rings). You can get a giant rock for probably 30% of what a jeweler wants. Lots of reputible sellers on ebay. If you find one on Craigslist, meet them at a jeweler to have it certified

Just looked for certified loose diamonds on there, and prices looked higher than blue nile it appeared to me.

WilliamTheIrish
08-19-2012, 07:19 PM
Pawn shops are a good source also. Lots of broken dreams in there.