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Count Zarth
09-08-2012, 09:44 PM
'Twas the night before Chiefsmas, when all through Arrowhead
Not a creature was stirring, and no one wore red.

But helmets were hung in their lockers with care
In hopes that Fat Romeo soon would be there

The Chiefs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dead Falcons danced in their heads;

And Pioli in his jammies, and Clark in his nightgown
Had just settled down after drinking the town

When out on the field there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the press box I flew like a flash,
Tore open the gate, past Hali smoking hash.

The moon shining down on the fresh-painted grass
Made me think of a tight little cheerleader's ass.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A big red bus, the Kansas City Chiefs were here!

With an old coach, so fat, with a great big gut!
Yes, it was Romeo, who jiggled his Patriot Way butt.

More rapid than Jamaal Charles his players they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Albert! now, Breaston! now, Cassel and Powe!
On, Charles! on Flowers! on, Dorsey and Poe!

To the edge of the sideline! Protect my damn ball!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

So back to the locker room, at the sound of the horn!
The players ran off, herded by Zorn.

And then, in the hallway, I heard footsteps come.
It was Romeo and the Chiefs, even before the sun!

As I logged off the Planet, and was turning around,
Down the aisle Romeo came with a thunderous bound.

He was dressed all in red, yes, he looked good.
And said, "Eric Berry's back and laying the wood."

A bundle of blitzes he had tucked under his arm,
He promised, to the Falcons, they would do great harm.

Said Romeo: Matt Ryan scored two points in his last awful game.
They won't win at Arrowhead, or it will be my shame.

Have you seen their left tackle, he sucks really hard!
Also, I love things deep fried in delicious lard.

Anyway, we don't have Hali, but Justin Houston is a beast!
We'll rush him, drop eight, and hold them to field goals, at least.

Meanwhile, our new offensive line is really on the ball!
Cassel will have time to throw, three-yard passes for all!

Don't worry about Flowers, his foot will be fine.
Besides, all you guys ever do is whine, whine, whine.

Romeo then closed his playbook, got back on the bus
He added, "by the way, Poe will crush all enemies to dust."

"Also, it's the opener, so our fans will be loud!
"I'm anticipating a thunderous roar from our red swaddled crowd!

He sprang to his seat, to his team gave a shout,
And away they all drove, ready for the bout.

But I heard Romeo exclaim, as he guzzled cream cheese and jelly,

"I'M SO FUCKING FAT, MATT RYAN GET IN MY BELLY!

Inmem58
09-08-2012, 09:48 PM
Not sure what to think of this

pr_capone
09-08-2012, 09:50 PM
A more fitting Chiefs / Christmas mashup...

http://i.imgur.com/UkpPL.jpg

Cephalic Trauma
09-08-2012, 09:50 PM
Not sure what to think of this

This guy needs to get laid.

i can't believe he actually went through all that effort to conjure up such garbage.

Count Zarth
09-08-2012, 09:51 PM
This guy needs to get laid.

i can't believe he actually went through all that effort to conjure up such garbage.

It's tradition, you asshole.

Dr. Facebook Fever
09-08-2012, 10:03 PM
It's tradition, you asshole.

So is waiting to start game threads until midnight but we haven't won any playoff games doing that either.

Just sayin.

qabbaan
09-08-2012, 10:10 PM
Gay

milkman
09-08-2012, 10:10 PM
So is waiting to start game threads until midnight but we haven't won any playoff games doing that either.

Just sayin.

This team hasn't won jack since 1970, so I highly doubt that anything we've done here in the last 12 years has any any affect on anything that has happened on the field.

Dr. Facebook Fever
09-08-2012, 10:13 PM
This team hasn't won jack since 1970, so I highly doubt that anything we've done here in the last 12 years has any any affect on anything that has happened on the field.

You know I love you man (no homo) but sometimes you take internet ribbing too seriously.

Of course nothing we do has any effect on the outcome... it's just for fun. As is giving people crap for it.

milkman
09-08-2012, 10:14 PM
You know I love you man (no homo) but sometimes you take internet ribbing too seriously.

Of course nothing we do has any effect on the outcome... it's just for fun. As is giving people crap for it.

As is giving crap for giving crap.

CoMoChief
09-08-2012, 10:15 PM
I'm still starting the official game thread.

Dr. Facebook Fever
09-08-2012, 10:15 PM
As is giving crap for giving crap.

As is giving crap for giving crap for giving crap.

I can do this all night, I have no plans.

:D

milkman
09-08-2012, 10:16 PM
As is giving crap for giving crap for giving crap.

I can do this all night, I have no plans.

:D

Is this a cry for help?

Dr. Facebook Fever
09-08-2012, 10:17 PM
Is this a cry for help?

I don't think so...

?

Canofbier
09-08-2012, 10:19 PM
Good effort and amusing, but the phrases weren't all matched to one another (different numbers of syllables, inconsistent flow). That made it kind of awkward to read at times.

Count Zarth
09-08-2012, 10:20 PM
Good effort and amusing, but the phrases weren't all matched to one another (different numbers of syllables, inconsistent flow). That made it kind of awkward to read at times.

It's as shitty as our team is!

milkman
09-08-2012, 10:21 PM
I don't think so...

?

You're a single man on a Saturday night, and "you can do this all night".

You need help.

DeezNutz
09-08-2012, 10:24 PM
Stanzas six and seven are money. Made me laugh...

Dr. Facebook Fever
09-08-2012, 10:24 PM
You're a single man on a Saturday night, and "you can do this all night".

You need help.

I have a girlfriend and we had plans for tonight but hospice was called in for her grandmother today so she's there. Since most of her family doesn't know me yet I thought it was best to leave it a family thing. Thanks for caring about my happiness and well being though.

:)

milkman
09-08-2012, 10:26 PM
I have a girlfriend and we had plans for tonight but hospice was called in for her grandmother today so she's there. Since most of her family doesn't know me yet I thought it was best to leave it a family thing. Thanks for caring about my happiness and well being though.

:)

Who gives a shit about your happiness and well being?

I was going to give you shit for being a loser.

A Salt Weapon
09-08-2012, 10:27 PM
This was great. Way to go.
Posted via Mobile Device

Dr. Facebook Fever
09-08-2012, 10:27 PM
Who gives a shit about your happiness and well being?

I was going to give you shit for being a loser.

LMAO

Well you still can.

Count Zarth
09-07-2013, 10:34 PM
Bah humbug, motherfuckers. Coal in Alex Smith's stocking.

pr_capone
09-07-2013, 10:35 PM
Who is making the week 1 game day thread?

Baconeater
09-07-2013, 10:37 PM
Who is making the week 1 game day thread?
I am predicting no less than three of them appearing simultaneously at the stroke of midnight.

Simply Red
09-07-2013, 10:40 PM
I am predicting no less than three of them appearing simultaneously at the stroke of midnight.

should I do one up now? Since it's 12:40 here.

Simply Red
09-07-2013, 10:43 PM
http://i44.tinypic.com/2nw0n45.gif

NJChiefsFan
09-07-2013, 10:44 PM
A more fitting Chiefs / Christmas mashup...

http://i.imgur.com/UkpPL.jpg

That was classic. The game where the ref accidentally called the Chiefs the Kansas Silly Chiefs was also great. We deserve it too. We really do.