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Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 07:05 AM
Got any funny stories involving your little ones (or when they were little, if they're older now). I don't have kids of my own yet. Me and my fiance have been trying for years but its harder for us because she has PCOS. We actually finally did get pregnant for the first time this past July, but she miscarried during week 6. Devastating but at least we know she CAN get pregnant.

Anyway, so since i don't have kids yet, ill tell you something my mom told me I did once as a baby.

She said she found me once in my crib with shit all over the inside of it, on myself and the wall. I guess I somehow got my diaper off and the rest is history. She said she put me in there so she could go make dinner and when she came back she found I prepared a little something of my own lol.

MOhillbilly
09-12-2012, 07:10 AM
Pedo

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 07:16 AM
Pedo

Says the hillbilly lol. Don't you have some incest to tend to?

MOhillbilly
09-12-2012, 07:39 AM
I'm adopted so it wasn't that big a deal.

ChiTown
09-12-2012, 07:41 AM
I'm adopted so it wasn't that big a deal.

LMAO

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 07:55 AM
I'm adopted so it wasn't that big a deal.

ROFL

Predarat
09-12-2012, 08:12 AM
TLTR

bishop_74
09-12-2012, 09:31 AM
Got any funny stories involving your little ones (or when they were little, if they're older now). I don't have kids of my own yet. Me and my fiance have been trying for years but its harder for us because she has PCOS. We actually finally did get pregnant for the first time this past July, but she miscarried during week 6. Devastating but at least we know she CAN get pregnant.

Anyway, so since i don't have kids yet, ill tell you something my mom told me I did once as a baby.

She said she found me once in my crib with shit all over the inside of it, on myself and the wall. I guess I somehow got my diaper off and the rest is history. She said she put me in there so she could go make dinner and when she came back she found I prepared a little something of my own lol.


I found your picture:
http://chzallnighter.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/party-fails-weekend-party-hard-diaper-poop.jpg

L.A. Chieffan
09-12-2012, 09:38 AM
I'm adopted so it wasn't that big a deal.

O SHT

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 10:06 AM
I found your picture:
http://chzallnighter.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/party-fails-weekend-party-hard-diaper-poop.jpg

I saw this pic in another thread and it made me think of when my mother told me about my own inshitdent. That's why i made this thread. Thought people would have some funny stories. Thought wrong lol. No surprise with all the lameasses here.

Phobia
09-12-2012, 10:56 AM
She said she found me once in my crib with shit all over the inside of it, on yself and the wall.

So basically, the very same thing that has been happening since you registered on ChiefsPlanet.

ElGringo
09-12-2012, 11:14 AM
Got any funny stories involving your little ones (or when they were little, if they're older now). I don't have kids of my own yet. Me and my fiance have been trying for years but its harder for us because she has PCOS. We actually finally did get pregnant for the first time this past July, but she miscarried during week 6. Devastating but at least we know she CAN get pregnant.

Anyway, so since i don't have kids yet, ill tell you something my mom told me I did once as a baby.

She said she found me once in my crib with shit all over the inside of it, on myself and the wall. I guess I somehow got my diaper off and the rest is history. She said she put me in there so she could go make dinner and when she came back she found I prepared a little something of my own lol.

I always wonder when men talking about pregnancy..."We got pregnant"...how pregnant were you, were you showing yet? But then "She had a miscarriage" so your baby is still okay? Just seems like the men give themselves credit when something good happens, and push the blame to the female when something bad happens.

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 11:16 AM
So basically, the very same thing that has been happening since you registered on ChiefsPlanet.

Ah speaking of lameasses. PhunnyPhobia. Came to try again, dummy? Go ahead...perform for me clown.

Calcountry
09-12-2012, 11:29 AM
Got any funny stories involving your little ones (or when they were little, if they're older now). I don't have kids of my own yet. Me and my fiance have been trying for years but its harder for us because she has PCOS. We actually finally did get pregnant for the first time this past July, but she miscarried during week 6. Devastating but at least we know she CAN get pregnant.

Anyway, so since i don't have kids yet, ill tell you something my mom told me I did once as a baby.

She said she found me once in my crib with shit all over the inside of it, on myself and the wall. I guess I somehow got my diaper off and the rest is history. She said she put me in there so she could go make dinner and when she came back she found I prepared a little something of my own lol.Looks like somone turned you loose to go make dinner, only, you went to the internet with your self expression.

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 11:33 AM
Looks like somone turned you loose to go make dinner, only, you went to the internet with your self expression.

And?

frankotank
09-12-2012, 12:16 PM
well sheeeeit!
I actually have a couple a good stories. just FORGET IT!
you bastards......

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 12:19 PM
well sheeeeit!
I actually have a couple a good stories. just FORGET IT!
you bastards......

Fuck them. I'd like to read your stories. This gloom and doom place could use some humor.

frankotank
09-12-2012, 12:47 PM
well....aight den....
Yeah I got one! Actually I got two!
I have lamented over not more carefully documenting various other happenstances along the way that will now be lost to time and faulty memories.
Young parents…that stupid memories book you got at the baby shower…..USE IT!

First story…..
My son was 4 maybe 5….my daughter is two years older so she’s 7 and we had a bullmastiff named Tank. (best dog EVER) My wife hollers Frank you gotta come here your son needs you. He’d just got outta the shower and I walk in his room, my wife just smiles and leaves. I ask him what’s up and he grabs his penis…stretches it up towards his belly button and points to his testicles and says “Dad…what’s these ball thingys?”. Those exact words. I’m laughing even now writing this. Too damn funny. But wait! There’s more! I explain to him as best I can. Boys have them girls do not, it’s how we’re made…etc. He thinks about it for a second glance over at the dog and says “So does Tank have them?” Yup, sure does (he was uncut…honestly I have no idea how that dog could even run!!). He tries to get a look so I turn ole Tank around and lift his tail a little. He’s kind squatting down behind Tank checking out the situation and as if on cue…..as if in the scene of a movie…my daughter walks by the door of his room, looks in and yells “EEEEEEEWWWWWWW! MOOOOOMMMMM!” It was just too damned funny!

Second story…..
They are about the same age (don’t let them grow up) and we had driven out into the country on the 4th of July, the four of us and my parents, to shoot off fireworks. We’re on county line and see a van in the ditch. Sun is almost down and it’s getting pretty dark. Dad grabs a flashlight and we can see blood inside. So we climb down there and nose around to make sure no ones in the van unconscious or something. Looked like somebody smacked the windshield on impact and got bloodied up a little, but no one was in the van. Probably driving drunk and hiked it out of there.
So we shoot off fireworks and later we’re driving home and all of a sudden from the third row seat my daughter yells “DAD! He just said a cuss word!” referring to my son. So he yells…all pissed off….I mean screaming at the top of his lungs….cause he HATES big sis telling on him or correcting him….he yells ”NO I DIDN’T! I just said the man drove the van into the bitch!” He was so young…he thought the ditch was a bitch ya see. After the laughter died down I said ”Well son, that could very well be what he was trying to do…but then he hit the DITCH.” We laughed all the way home.
So that was the day my son learned the difference and meanings of the words bitch and ditch. The end.

tooge
09-12-2012, 12:50 PM
I threw a ball and hit my son in the groin. He yelled out "awe, right in the nuts". Several minutes later, my daughter, then about 3 yo, has the ball bounce up and hit her in the upper leg. She bends over and says "right in the nuts". My son and I just looked at each other.

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 04:01 PM
well....aight den....
Yeah I got one! Actually I got two!
I have lamented over not more carefully documenting various other happenstances along the way that will now be lost to time and faulty memories.
Young parents…that stupid memories book you got at the baby shower…..USE IT!

First story…..
My son was 4 maybe 5….my daughter is two years older so she’s 7 and we had a bullmastiff named Tank. (best dog EVER) My wife hollers Frank you gotta come here your son needs you. He’d just got outta the shower and I walk in his room, my wife just smiles and leaves. I ask him what’s up and he grabs his penis…stretches it up towards his belly button and points to his testicles and says “Dad…what’s these ball thingys?”. Those exact words. I’m laughing even now writing this. Too damn funny. But wait! There’s more! I explain to him as best I can. Boys have them girls do not, it’s how we’re made…etc. He thinks about it for a second glance over at the dog and says “So does Tank have them?” Yup, sure does (he was uncut…honestly I have no idea how that dog could even run!!). He tries to get a look so I turn ole Tank around and lift his tail a little. He’s kind squatting down behind Tank checking out the situation and as if on cue…..as if in the scene of a movie…my daughter walks by the door of his room, looks in and yells “EEEEEEEWWWWWWW! MOOOOOMMMMM!” It was just too damned funny!

Second story…..
They are about the same age (don’t let them grow up) and we had driven out into the country on the 4th of July, the four of us and my parents, to shoot off fireworks. We’re on county line and see a van in the ditch. Sun is almost down and it’s getting pretty dark. Dad grabs a flashlight and we can see blood inside. So we climb down there and nose around to make sure no ones in the van unconscious or something. Looked like somebody smacked the windshield on impact and got bloodied up a little, but no one was in the van. Probably driving drunk and hiked it out of there.
So we shoot off fireworks and later we’re driving home and all of a sudden from the third row seat my daughter yells “DAD! He just said a cuss word!” referring to my son. So he yells…all pissed off….I mean screaming at the top of his lungs….cause he HATES big sis telling on him or correcting him….he yells ”NO I DIDN’T! I just said the man drove the van into the bitch!” He was so young…he thought the ditch was a bitch ya see. After the laughter died down I said ”Well son, that could very well be what he was trying to do…but then he hit the DITCH.” We laughed all the way home.
So that was the day my son learned the difference and meanings of the words bitch and ditch. The end.

LMAO Awesome. The first story ROFL

Luke Warm
09-12-2012, 04:02 PM
I threw a ball and hit my son in the groin. He yelled out "awe, right in the nuts". Several minutes later, my daughter, then about 3 yo, has the ball bounce up and hit her in the upper leg. She bends over and says "right in the nuts". My son and I just looked at each other.

LMAO