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View Full Version : Chiefs so, your Clark, what is your plan. go on record


tooge
10-01-2012, 03:44 PM
You woke up this morning and found that you are Clark Hunt. Aside from nailing Tavia in the rear, having a beautiful naked housemaid make you steak and eggs, and then playing golf, what is the plan for the chiefs moving forward. Lets see if anyone end up getting it right. Here's mine;

I'm on the phone with Grudens agent while I'm banging Tavia. I tell him I'm gonna make sure he's got his pick of QB's to groom in the upcoming draft. We chat a bit about who he and others respect as a good scout type GM. Gruden picks his guy to groom, I pick the next GM, and I look to see if Bums son is interested in being the asst head coach to also be the D coordinator. What you got?

DMAC
10-01-2012, 03:54 PM
I believe a vacation is in order.

Dicky McElephant
10-01-2012, 03:56 PM
1. Inform Matt Cassel, Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli that they will not be returning after this year.
2. Call the New York Giants and request the right to interview Mark Ross for the open GM job. Hire him immediately after.
3. Give Ross the ability to bring in his own coaching staff. The only requirement/restriction for that hire that I give him is that he must hire a head coach that will only do that job. The head coach is required to bring in actual coordinators that do those jobs.
4. Give Ross the ability to switch defensive schemes if he would like. I would give my input into switching to a 3-4 1 gap defense but let him make that decision on his own.
5. Re-sign Bowe to a new contract.
6. Re-sign Albert to a new contract.
7. Do whatever it takes to trade up for Geno Smith.

bevischief
10-01-2012, 03:59 PM
1. Inform Matt Cassel, Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli that they will not be returning after this year.
2. Call the New York Giants and request the right to interview Mark Ross for the open GM job. Hire him immediately after.
3. Give Ross the ability to bring in his own coaching staff. The only requirement/restriction for that hire that I give him is that he must hire a head coach that will only do that job. The head coach is required to bring in actual coordinators that do those jobs.
4. Give Ross the ability to switch defensive schemes if he would like. I would give my input into switching to a 3-4 1 gap defense but let him make that decision on his own.
5. Re-sign Bowe to a new contract.
6. Re-sign Albert to a new contract.
7. Do whatever it takes to trade up for Geno Smith.


I can live with this with a smile on my face.

SPATCH
10-01-2012, 04:00 PM
*you're

kaplin42
10-01-2012, 04:02 PM
*you're

And it's time for my favorite grammar nazi pic.

http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w461/ZombieClownZ/Stuff%20n%20Things/grammar-your-youre.jpg

Ebolapox
10-01-2012, 04:04 PM
clark hunt doesn't belong to me... so, my clark? are we talking about will clark? clark gable? gary clark? clark county? I, personally, don't own a clark. how would I ever decide what I'd do with my clark?

Ebolapox
10-01-2012, 04:07 PM
1. Inform Matt Cassel, Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli that they will not be returning after this year.
2. Call the New York Giants and request the right to interview Mark Ross for the open GM job. Hire him immediately after.
3. Give Ross the ability to bring in his own coaching staff. The only requirement/restriction for that hire that I give him is that he must hire a head coach that will only do that job. The head coach is required to bring in actual coordinators that do those jobs.
4. Give Ross the ability to switch defensive schemes if he would like. I would give my input into switching to a 3-4 1 gap defense but let him make that decision on his own.
5. Re-sign Bowe to a new contract.
6. Re-sign Albert to a new contract.
7. Do whatever it takes to trade up for Geno Smith.

close the thread. it's over, it won't get better than this one.

Kaylore
10-01-2012, 04:07 PM
I sell my Clark on the black market.

Sofa King
10-01-2012, 04:08 PM
1. Inform Matt Cassel, Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli that they will not be returning after this year.
2. Call the New York Giants and request the right to interview Mark Ross for the open GM job. Hire him immediately after.
3. Give Ross the ability to bring in his own coaching staff. The only requirement/restriction for that hire that I give him is that he must hire a head coach that will only do that job. The head coach is required to bring in actual coordinators that do those jobs.
4. Give Ross the ability to switch defensive schemes if he would like. I would give my input into switching to a 3-4 1 gap defense but let him make that decision on his own.
5. Re-sign Bowe to a new contract.
6. Re-sign Albert to a new contract.
7. Do whatever it takes to trade up for Geno Smith.

I'd be happy with this.

Pilsner
10-01-2012, 04:10 PM
1. Inform Matt Cassel, Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli that they will not be returning after this year.
2. Call the New York Giants and request the right to interview Mark Ross for the open GM job. Hire him immediately after.
3. Give Ross the ability to bring in his own coaching staff. The only requirement/restriction for that hire that I give him is that he must hire a head coach that will only do that job. The head coach is required to bring in actual coordinators that do those jobs.
4. Give Ross the ability to switch defensive schemes if he would like. I would give my input into switching to a 3-4 1 gap defense but let him make that decision on his own.
5. Re-sign Bowe to a new contract.
6. Re-sign Albert to a new contract.
7. Do whatever it takes to trade up for Geno Smith.

You should buy the Chiefs. I'm starting the Kickstarter right now.

Rausch
10-01-2012, 04:11 PM
After 4 years this team does not look able to win a playoff game.

We have tried new coordinators, head coaches, and spent numerous top 10 picks.

The only two constants: Ca$$hole and Pioli...

journeyscarab
10-01-2012, 04:11 PM
Clark Griswold?

ChiefsCountry
10-01-2012, 04:11 PM
Fire Pioli, Romeo and cut Cassel.
Hire Russ Ball and Eliot Wolf from the Packers
Let them hire who they want as head coach probably somebody like Winston Moss
Resign Bowe
Resign Albert
Draft Matt Barkley
Profit

RunKC
10-01-2012, 04:11 PM
I would love Marc Ross, but why would we want to change from the 3-4?

Justin Houston is our best young player right now and he'd be worthless in a 4-3. Allen Bailey would be worthless too. DJ wasn't that great in it either. Neither was Tamba (well not as good as he is when DE's are taking up blockers for him).

I think we are close with the 3-4. I really do. I like Ropati a lot and he's only 27. Plus guys like Allen Bailey and Jerrell Powe have really impressed me.
The defense just looks so bad because they are under immense pressure every week.
Yeah Berry got burnt by a future HOF TE, but it doesn't help that the offense gave the ball up so much.

A QB and quality HC (please God get a Ken Whisenhunt) would turn this team into a playoff contender.

DaneMcCloud
10-01-2012, 04:13 PM
1. Call Green Bay and ask permission to speak with Elliot Wolf and Tim Connolly. If conversation goes well, hire them both. Connolly didn't deserve to lose his job under Pioli.

2. Participate in every head coaching interview with Wolf, along with the interviews of the offensive, defensive and special team coordinators. As said this in 2009, if the head coach comes to me and says "I want to hire a guy that's overseen the 31st defense in the NFL over the past few years (Clancy Pendergast)", I say "Fuck you. Hire a REAL coordinator, not a crony".

3. INSIST that the new GM's first priority is to upgrade the QB position by any means necessary. Trade, sign, whatever. Best case scenario is to draft a first round QB and bring in a veteran to sit behind him. Then, begin to evaluate current players and create/change the scheme to what is best suited for their abilities and not the other way around.

4. Review tape and re-sign current players to long term deals. Albert and Bowe certainly deserve deals and determine if guys like Pituatoa deserve at least a 2 to 3 year deal. Dorsey and Jackson are expendable if not agreeable to short term and financially responsible contracts.

5. Reach out to the community in an effort to establish goodwill.

Ticket sales will flow.

Fire Me Boy!
10-01-2012, 04:13 PM
Trade it for a Kit Kat?

http://imageshack.us/a/img411/4701/clarkbar.jpg

SNR
10-01-2012, 04:13 PM
My Clark is doing fine, thank you very much. Mind your own business

Fire Me Boy!
10-01-2012, 04:14 PM
And it's time for my favorite grammar nazi pic.

http://i1077.photobucket.com/albums/w461/ZombieClownZ/Stuff%20n%20Things/grammar-your-youre.jpg

This. Is. Awesome.






I also like posting this:

<iframe width="640" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/v30q6VkphbE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

vailpass
10-01-2012, 04:15 PM
Two chicks at the same time.

RunKC
10-01-2012, 04:15 PM
Oh and if I'm Clark I'm calling Bowe in immediately and giving him his $75 million contract. Then I franchise Albert's fat ass.

SNR
10-01-2012, 04:15 PM
1. Call Green Bay and ask permission to speak with Elliot Wolf and Tim Connolly. If conversation goes well, hire them both. Connolly didn't deserve to lose his job under Pioli.

2. Participate in every head coaching interview with Wolf, along with the interviews of the offensive, defensive and special team coordinators. As said this in 2009, if the head coach comes to me and says "I want to hire a guy that's overseen the 31st defense in the NFL over the past few years (Clancy Pendergast)", I say "Fuck you. Hire a REAL coordinator, not a crony".

3. INSIST that the new GM's first priority is to upgrade the QB position by any means necessary. Trade, sign, whatever. Best case scenario is to draft a first round QB and bring in a veteran to sit behind him. Then, begin to evaluate current players and create/change the scheme to what is best suited for their abilities and not the other way around.

4. Review tape and re-sign current players to long term deals. Albert and Bowe certainly deserve deals and determine if guys like Pituatoa deserve at least a 2 to 3 year deal. Dorsey and Jackson are expendable if not agreeable to short term and financially responsible contracts.

5. Reach out to the community in an effort to establish goodwill.

Ticket sales will flow.Is Elliot Wolf related to Ron Wolf by any chance?

If he's got half the football smarts as Ron Wolf, that's a great hire.

Rausch
10-01-2012, 04:16 PM
I would love Marc Ross, but why would we want to change from the 3-4?

Justin Houston is our best young player right now and he'd be worthless in a 4-3. Allen Bailey would be worthless too. DJ wasn't that great in it either. Neither was Tamba (well not as good as he is when DE's are taking up blockers for him).

I think we are close with the 3-4. I really do. I like Ropati a lot and he's only 27. Plus guys like Allen Bailey and Jerrell Powe have really impressed me.
The defense just looks so bad because they are under immense pressure every week.
Yeah Berry got burnt by a future HOF TE, but it doesn't help that the offense gave the ball up so much.

A QB and quality HC (please God get a Ken Whisenhunt) would turn this team into a playoff contender.

I would love to see what Capers could do with this defense.

And as far as GM I agree with what Clark tried the first time. Start with your GM, let him hire his guy at HC, and try and build a team under one vision from the top down.

Clark's first choice didn't work. That's ok, we don't always get it right the first time. Keep trying - learn what you did wrong - and have a vision in your mind of what you want.

DaneMcCloud
10-01-2012, 04:17 PM
Is Elliot Wolf related to Ron Wolf by any chance?

If he's got half the football smarts as Ron Wolf, that's a great hire.

Ron Wolf's son.

And yes, I believe he would be an excellent hire.

In my opinion, the Chiefs next GM needs to have come up the hard way. Regional scouting, national scouting, college personnel, Pro player personnel - all of it. Live and breath scouting like Dimitroff and Ryan Grigson.

Not through nepotism and ass-kissing. (Ahem).

saphojunkie
10-01-2012, 04:18 PM
1. Inform Matt Cassel, Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli that they will not be returning after this year.
2. Call the New York Giants and request the right to interview Mark Ross for the open GM job. Hire him immediately after.
3. Give Ross the ability to bring in his own coaching staff. The only requirement/restriction for that hire that I give him is that he must hire a head coach that will only do that job. The head coach is required to bring in actual coordinators that do those jobs.
4. Give Ross the ability to switch defensive schemes if he would like. I would give my input into switching to a 3-4 1 gap defense but let him make that decision on his own.
5. Re-sign Bowe to a new contract.
6. Re-sign Albert to a new contract.
7. Do whatever it takes to trade up for Geno Smith.

8. I would make parking fees $5 for the rest of the year as a thank-you and I'm sorry to the fans.
9. Cut Tyson Jackson in offseason
10. Cut Ricky Stanzi in offseason
11. Try my hardest to sign Jason McCourty, CB and Jairus Byrd, S.
12. Find Dick Curl and punch him in the face. Just for good measure.

RunKC
10-01-2012, 04:20 PM
8. I would make parking fees $5 for the rest of the year as a thank-you and I'm sorry to the fans.
9. Cut Tyson Jackson in offseason
10. Cut Ricky Stanzi in offseason
11. Try my hardest to sign Jason McCourty, CB and Jairus Byrd, S.
12. Find Dick Curl and punch him in the face. Just for good measure.

I wouldn't' do this. He's actually one of the best run stoppers in the league. I would force him to take a significant pay cut, but if he refused I would cut him.

saphojunkie
10-01-2012, 04:25 PM
I wouldn't' do this. He's actually one of the best run stoppers in the league. I would force him to take a significant pay cut, but if he refused I would cut him.

But it's a passing league. Pitoitua is visibly better both vs. the run and the pass.

But hey, if he's cheap, sure.

acesn8s
10-01-2012, 04:33 PM
Turn into Superman.

ChiefsCountry
10-01-2012, 04:40 PM
1. Call Green Bay and ask permission to speak with Elliot Wolf and Tim Connolly. If conversation goes well, hire them both. Connolly didn't deserve to lose his job under Pioli.


Tim Connolly left the Chiefs back in 1995. You are thinking of Kuharich.

Count Alex's Losses
10-01-2012, 04:43 PM
Clark is gonna clean house.

Season ticket sales will bottom out otherwise. He does NOT want that, revenue sharing or not.

SNR
10-01-2012, 04:46 PM
Tim Connolly left the Chiefs back in 1995. You are thinking of Kuharich.

Another guy I honestly wouldn't mind, though he hasn't had a job since he got fired in 2009. I wonder if all of his contacts and scouting reports are gone. He probably has no need to keep as up-to-date as he did when he worked

ChiefsCountry
10-01-2012, 04:47 PM
Russ Ball - read up and learn. I was pimping him last year for the Rams job.
http://www.jsonline.com/packerinsider/130041648.html

SNR
10-01-2012, 04:49 PM
4. Review tape and re-sign current players to long term deals. Albert and Bowe certainly deserve deals and determine if guys like Pituatoa deserve at least a 2 to 3 year deal. Dorsey and Jackson are expendable if not agreeable to short term and financially responsible contracts.


That's already built into the parameters of the contract. GMs need a full year with the team's old scouts and staff for that spring's draft. Then the new guy needs a full year to evaluate the remaining players on the roster. It's the way of things.

RunKC
10-01-2012, 04:52 PM
But it's a passing league. Pitoitua is visibly better both vs. the run and the pass.

But hey, if he's cheap, sure.

I would replace Dorsey with Ropati. Dorsey doesn't have the body to play the position and Tyson is just as good.

MahiMike
10-01-2012, 05:02 PM
Clark for a day, huh? hmmm. Methinks I like the profits provided by these mid-westerners too much to care about the Chiefs...(goes back to banging Tavia on my personal golf course).

It's good to be the king.

Ace Gunner
10-01-2012, 05:04 PM
Sell.

DaneMcCloud
10-01-2012, 05:10 PM
That's already built into the parameters of the contract. GMs need a full year with the team's old scouts and staff for that spring's draft. Then the new guy needs a full year to evaluate the remaining players on the roster. It's the way of things.

That's what I hear...

LMAO

DaneMcCloud
10-01-2012, 05:11 PM
Tim Connolly left the Chiefs back in 1995. You are thinking of Kuharich.

I'm also thinking of Denny Thum. Thanks, Dude.

DaneMcCloud
10-01-2012, 05:13 PM
Russ Ball - read up and learn. I was pimping him last year for the Rams job.
http://www.jsonline.com/packerinsider/130041648.html

Well, then hire Ball as team president and Wolf as GM.

:D

wazu
10-01-2012, 05:30 PM
1. Fire Pioli and cut Cassel immediately.
2. Inform Crennel this is his last year, but he will be fired immediately if he wins another game or informs anybody of this discussion. Add $1 million bonus to his contract if Chiefs lose all remaining games but nobody catches on and the meltdown looks legit.
3. Draft Geno.
4. Win Superbowls.

BryanBusby
10-01-2012, 05:33 PM
1. Go to soccer game.
2. Eat a sandwich
3. Send butler to pick up suit from dry cleaner.
4. Text Scott about too much toner being used.

Dayze
10-01-2012, 09:18 PM
1. Inform Matt Cassel, Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli that they will not be returning after this year.
2. Call the New York Giants and request the right to interview Mark Ross for the open GM job. Hire him immediately after.
3. Give Ross the ability to bring in his own coaching staff. The only requirement/restriction for that hire that I give him is that he must hire a head coach that will only do that job. The head coach is required to bring in actual coordinators that do those jobs.
4. Give Ross the ability to switch defensive schemes if he would like. I would give my input into switching to a 3-4 1 gap defense but let him make that decision on his own.
5. Re-sign Bowe to a new contract.
6. Re-sign Albert to a new contract.
7. Do whatever it takes to trade up for Geno Smith.

Bueno

Dayze
10-01-2012, 09:21 PM
I've also come to the conclusion that Piolis scouts suck ass

GloryDayz
10-01-2012, 09:24 PM
If I woke up and I was Clark, I'd jump! I'd just jump! For the sake of the nation, I'd jump! I'd turn the team over, for free, to somebody who cares!

JohnnyHammersticks
10-01-2012, 09:31 PM
My plan, after looking in the mirror this morning, is to get a new ****ing barber. Why didn't any of my yes men bother to tell me that my haircut makes me look like some damned homosexual model in a 1980's JC Penny's catalog?

Then after that's taken care of, I'll get back to finalizing that 10-year extension I've been working on for Pioli.

Any other questions?

Exoter175
10-01-2012, 09:48 PM
If I'm Clark, I clean house. As much as I personally like Romeo, I like him as a DC, not HC. I offer him the chance to interview with my new HC to see if he is willing to work with him, if not, cut ties all together. I reach back out to the #1 Hunt target when this all started, Kirk Ferentz from the University of Iowa. One of the best and most fundamentally sound coaches in college that could make the NFL transition without a problem. His son should be in the draft this year and he'll no longer have a serious need to stay with Iowa other than history and the love for coaching and teaching these young guys. Iowa's best days are over for quite some time, and I think now would be the time to go after him, after this bowl season. If I can't get Ferentz, I go after Cowher. I don't do it the Patriots way, the Pioli way, or even the Hunt way. I go after both these coaches the right way. I offer them whatever the hell they want, and I pay them more than I should just to land them. We did that with Cassel, why the hell shouldn't we do that with a real coach this time around? And I don't want to see some short ass contract either. I go all in on this new regime, damned everything and everyone else including the fans. I want to pull in a stable regime to this town ala Jeff Fisher. So I'm going to go out there and get me a Cowher or a Ferentz, I'm going to give them whatever they want, even GM powers if that's what Cowher still wants, and I do my due diligence on finding the RIGHT Executives to make this team run right. I'm looking for a separation of Church (Hunt/Pioli) and State (Arrowhead, The Chiefs) here. Carl ran the show for Lamar and despite the fact that we ran him out of here when needed, he was really good at maintaining football operations and keeping the family business out of the organization.

Then, I resign everybody on this roster that is a solid #1 or #2, I trade or cut Cassel no questions asked, and I use my #1 pick or a number of picks to trade up and grab THE QB of this draft, whoever that person ends up being, and I make sure that my OC and QB Coach are on board with this guy and feel the same and are excited to work with him. Then I stick those guys in a room for 3 months with the receivers and Tight Ends and don't let them out unless its to use the bathroom.

We are quite literally a stable FO/Coaching lineup, QB, and a couple of depth moves away from being a 5-8 year perennial AFCW lock, sometimes you just have to take a shot.

Ebolapox
10-01-2012, 09:53 PM
I'd find a way to give a ton of money to the real me, and enjoy it after I'm myself again.

whoman69
10-01-2012, 10:41 PM
Me, bench Cassel.

The reality:

http://easymoneyblackjack.com/images/raking-money.jpg

Sorter
10-01-2012, 11:07 PM
I would love Marc Ross, but why would we want to change from the 3-4?

Justin Houston is our best young player right now and he'd be worthless in a 4-3. Allen Bailey would be worthless too. DJ wasn't that great in it either. .


Actually, you could play Houston at the SAM spot, DJ at the WIL, and could conceivably have Bailey play the 3-tech like he does now. He'd be a liability against the run in all likelihood.

Psyko Tek
10-01-2012, 11:10 PM
After 4 years this team does not look able to win a playoff game.

We have tried new coordinators, head coaches, and spent numerous top 10 picks.

The only two constants: Ca$$hole and Pioli...

hell they should not have been able to win one game
that was the second ugliest game I have ever watched
and then they played sandyeggo
they might beat the raider in the black asshole
but other than that
nada

BryanBusby
10-01-2012, 11:10 PM
Justin Houston is our best young player right now and he'd be worthless in a 4-3.

I'm against going back to the 4-3, but I'm not sure how you're drawing this conclusion.

Sorter
10-01-2012, 11:13 PM
I'm against going back to the 4-3, but I'm not sure how you're drawing this conclusion.

If we hypothetically went to the 4-3, expect to see Houston used like Von Miller as the SAM.

DaneMcCloud
10-01-2012, 11:14 PM
Moving to the 4-3 would be beyond stupid. If anything, the next DC should install an attacking one-gap 3-4.

Fuck the 4-3 at this point.

ThaVirus
10-01-2012, 11:16 PM
I'm against going back to the 4-3, but I'm not sure how you're drawing this conclusion.

Well I wouldn't say he'd be worthless, but he's about 30 pounds too heavy for that position in the 4-3.

He's been good enough against the pass that I think he'd do fine in either scheme. 3-4 is definitely better suited for his physique and skillset though.

Sorter
10-01-2012, 11:26 PM
Well I wouldn't say he'd be worthless, but he's about 30 pounds too heavy for that position in the 4-3.

He's been good enough against the pass that I think he'd do fine in either scheme. 3-4 is definitely better suited for his physique and skillset though.

Not 30lbs to heavy to play the SAM like Von Miller. Miller: 237 Houston: 258

Additionally, I would bet that Miller weighs more than 237. Just my opinion though.

Dayze
10-01-2012, 11:33 PM
Two chicks at the same time.

....we're so preoccupied, we 've slipped.


We have no excuse to not have said this sooner. May god have mercy on our souls