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View Full Version : Life Dudley Doright: I'll provide the sperm!!


stevieray
10-18-2012, 09:25 AM
Since mo just became a bad ass daddy, I might as well get it out too...I've mentioned it casually here and there.

My wife and I are expecting our third daughter on Dec 21...16 days after our 20th wedding anniversary.


pray for me...LMAO

ChiTown
10-18-2012, 09:27 AM
Since mo just became a bad ass daddy, I might as well get it out too...I've mentioned it casually here and there.

My wife and I are expecting our third daughter on Dec 21...16 days after our 20th wedding anniversary.


pray for me...LMAO

:clap: - Way to go, stevie. Congrats, old man!:evil:

Radar Chief
10-18-2012, 09:28 AM
At 50. Youíre having a new born at 50. :eek:
Iím 45 and chasing an 8 y.o. around is wearing me out.

gblowfish
10-18-2012, 09:30 AM
How did that happen???

Radar Chief
10-18-2012, 09:32 AM
How did that happen???

Well you see, when two people love each other very much sometimes that love is so much it canít be contained within two people and will come out in the form of a baby.
Want more detail, ask your mother.

ChiefsNow
10-18-2012, 09:36 AM
Congradulations. But I think the world ends on that very same day. Planet X is gonna hit us.

seclark
10-18-2012, 09:38 AM
dang, it looks like some of you guys had a hell of an offseason.
nice going stevie.
sec

BoneKrusher
10-18-2012, 09:38 AM
congrats.

Chiefnj2
10-18-2012, 09:42 AM
Congrats. Just when the baby is out of diapers you'll be back in them. Save those Pampers points!

Mr. Flopnuts
10-18-2012, 09:45 AM
:clap: Congrats! That's pretty awesome.

R8RFAN
10-18-2012, 09:53 AM
Congrats on the bundle of joy but at 46 , I think I will pass unless it's an oops...

Was this planned?

tooge
10-18-2012, 09:56 AM
maybe this will be like the baby boom of the 1940s and 50s, but in the KC area only. The chiefs suckage is sooo bad that sex is our only outlet.

theelusiveeightrop
10-18-2012, 09:56 AM
Many congrats. Keep after it, tiger.

Dicky McElephant
10-18-2012, 10:33 AM
Congrats. 3 daughters? Welcome to my hell.

CHENZ A!
10-18-2012, 11:05 AM
Congrats Stevie!

JD10367
10-18-2012, 11:09 AM
How did that happen???

http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1339709182890_916834.png

Rain Man
10-18-2012, 11:13 AM
Congratulations! I'm sure that First Down Priscilla will be a great addition to the family.

alanm
10-18-2012, 11:13 AM
Well you see, when two people love each other very much sometimes that love is so much it canít be contained within two people and will come out in the form of a baby.
Want more detail, ask your mother.I seem to recall hearing something like that a long time ago. :D

Holladay
10-18-2012, 11:31 AM
Holy Smokes!!! Congrats. At 48 with a 16 yr daughter who's head spinnes around and green stuff flies out her mouth. 13 yr son who's finally getting a clue.

I've fondly looked back, thinking "wow time flies". Wouldn't it be cool to do some of that stuff again...sighs.

Then I wake up from the nightmare, thanking God that the wife is fixed.

On thing for sure, it will keep you young...or you'll die trying.

Hope things turn out well.

Rausch
10-18-2012, 11:35 AM
Since mo just became a bad ass daddy, I might as well get it out too...I've mentioned it casually here and there.

My wife and I are expecting our third daughter on Dec 21...16 days after our 20th wedding anniversary.


pray for me...LMAO

Dude...seriously. It's slow down time for us old farts.

It's a new world.

People at pee-wee football and little league games throw down now. Unless you're Dane and Jackie Chan is your neighbor it's hard to beat down some 25 year old kid with a cane...

L.A. Chieffan
10-18-2012, 11:37 AM
Shit I got fixed when I was 21

listopencil
10-18-2012, 11:39 AM
Gratz. Now go get fixed you old fart.

Rausch
10-18-2012, 11:41 AM
Gratz. Now go get fixed you old fart.

No $3it.

It's not like you can bang models for the rest of you-...



















FUCK YOU...

listopencil
10-18-2012, 11:42 AM
No $3it.

It's not like you can bang models for the rest of you-...



















**** YOU...


Hah. I'm about ten years older than you are.

Rausch
10-18-2012, 11:43 AM
Hah. I'm about ten years older than you are.

So is the lucky fuck that just sired an heir...

listopencil
10-18-2012, 11:48 AM
So is the lucky **** that just sired an heir...

Well. Luck is subjective. I'd much rather be a Grandpa than a Dad to a toddler right now. Life is incredible, surprising and wonderful though.

Rausch
10-18-2012, 11:51 AM
I'd much rather be a Grandpa than a Dad to a toddler right now.

Sometimes we have to agree to disagree.

Life is incredible, surprising and wonderful though.

As long as it's someone else making it...

Phobia
10-18-2012, 11:55 AM
Congratulations to you. If you make 100 your kid will be your current age.

ptlyon
10-18-2012, 12:12 PM
Congrats stevie!!!

Holladay
10-18-2012, 01:12 PM
There is a thread that I think is appropiate on the 3rd page. I don't know how to link it thou.

Think you are ready to have children?

I'll just post the whole thing...its pretty good.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...#ixzz29a8N7som

ost broody mothers see having a child as a wonderful gift from God but one anonymous blogger has set about putting paid to that ideal.

A candid new parent test highlighting the high and lows of motherhood is taking the internet by storm after being reposted on countless mothering blogs.

The test - 14 steps to follow before you have children - was recently posted on Mamami by Chet, who was sent the parenting test by a friend.
Chet said: 'Most people will tell you that "it" is the hardest, most rewarding, rollercoaster job you will ever have - there's no pay, you are on duty 24/7 and, at times, it seems like there are few rewards.
'Being a parent has its ups and downs. I wouldn't change my title as "mummy" for anything in the world, however when this came through my inbox from a great friend it made me laugh (a lot!)'
If you think you are ready to embrace the joys of motherhood, we have printed the 14 tests here to see if you are really up to the challenge...

Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy
1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.
Men: To prepare for children
1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2: Knowledge

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.


Test 3: Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:
You can kiss goodbye to precious beauty sleep as soon as you have a child
You can kiss goodbye to precious beauty sleep as soon as you have a child
1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.


Test 4: Dressing Small Children

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5: Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6: Going for a walk
The hilarious blog post details a new parent test for broody mothers
The hilarious blog post details a new parent test for broody mothers
a. Wait.
b. Go out the front door.
c. Come back in again.
d. Go out.
e. Come back in again.
f. Go out again.
g. Walk down the front path.
h. Walk back up it.
i. Walk down it again.
j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
l. Retrace your steps.
m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
n. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8: Grocery Shopping

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.


Test 10:TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11: Mess

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
Are you up to the challenge of parenthood asks this hilarious blog post
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.


Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13:Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14: Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

whoman69
10-18-2012, 01:25 PM
How did that happen???

I heard they know what causes it now

whoman69
10-18-2012, 01:26 PM
We are about the same age and have been married about the same amount of time. I would never consider another kid at this point. What are ya thinkin'? Congrats I guess.

Inspector
10-18-2012, 01:54 PM
Way to go man!

Assuming you have a boy, can you bring him in for a look? See how far he can pass? Might be the QBoTF.

Inspector
10-18-2012, 01:55 PM
Oh daughter....I see....never mind.

(Unless she can toss a mean pass...)

Graystoke
10-18-2012, 02:11 PM
How did that happen???

There is something in the Air causing women to get pregnant.












Their Feet!


Congrats!

Simply Red
10-18-2012, 02:30 PM
good job buddy

LOCOChief
10-18-2012, 02:32 PM
congratulations Stevie

Radar Chief
10-18-2012, 02:35 PM
We are about the same age and have been married about the same amount of time. I would never consider another kid at this point. What are ya thinkin'? Congrats I guess.

Met StevieRay at Greaserama last month and seeing how good he is with kids Iíll bet heís thinking how much fun it will be to have another. :shrug: Iíll also bet heís a fantastic dad.

seclark
10-18-2012, 02:54 PM
Met StevieRay at Greaserama last month and seeing how good he is with kids Iíll bet heís thinking how much fun it will be to have another. :shrug: Iíll also bet heís a fantastic dad.

agree.

Braincase
10-18-2012, 03:14 PM
Whoa... Congrats!

R8RFAN
10-18-2012, 03:46 PM
agree.

is that your kid LMAO

seclark
10-18-2012, 03:53 PM
is that your kid LMAO

that crackercruncher's too small to be my grandkid.
sec

listopencil
10-18-2012, 03:56 PM
As long as it's someone else making it...

Yup.

R8RFAN
10-18-2012, 04:14 PM
that crackercruncher's too small to be my grandkid.
sec

Love the outfit, that kicks butt :clap:

mnchiefsguy
10-18-2012, 04:23 PM
Congrats and God Bless!

HemiEd
10-18-2012, 04:45 PM
Congratulations Stevie! :toast: Glad it is you though.

crazycoffey
10-18-2012, 04:49 PM
Congrats! And good luck 'ol man..... you'll need it. :p

Bwana
10-18-2012, 06:04 PM
Way to go BIG SHOOTER!