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scho63
11-06-2012, 08:29 AM
I just found out I have some sperm. I've never had that before and my gf is trying to tell me it hurts like a bitch when it actually comes out (I think she's messing with me).

Any advice? Laughing gas or just take the needle to numb the pain?

Oh, I hate going to the Urology doc too. That really can't help.

:hmmm:

Lumpy
11-06-2012, 08:33 AM
You can ask the poster that makes the next parody thread. :evil:

Radar Chief
11-06-2012, 08:57 AM
No more painful than watching the Chiefs...

Radar Chief
11-06-2012, 08:59 AM
The guys telling you it’s no big deal are fucking liars.
I was down for a good 3 days, duck walking shuffle foot style for another 3-4.

theelusiveeightrop
11-06-2012, 09:21 AM
Scott Pioli performed his own vasectomy. That dude is tough.

L.A. Chieffan
11-06-2012, 09:53 AM
Bag of frozen peas and youre up and fucking again in about 48 hours

dilligaf
11-06-2012, 09:54 AM
My left side hurt worse for some reason.

CaliforniaChief
11-06-2012, 09:56 AM
Anytime a needle goes into your balls it's not pleasant. I practically self-levitated off the table when that went down.

My recovery time was a few days. Try to plan it on a good weekend of sports. Unfortunately you already missed the Chiefs bye week.

frankotank
11-06-2012, 10:09 AM
My trip to the chop shop….

I want to preface this with – I ain’t the kinda guy to just curse somebody out….I just don’t do that.
All was well right up to the point the nurse said, “You’re going to feel a littly sting”, and then she injected my nut sack tube (vas deferens) with a numbing agent and I just about went through the ****ing ROOF! I damn near yelled, "MOTHER ****! A little sting my ASS! ****!” ROFL
I mean I'm immediatly full on sailor mode! She apologizes and I told her damn if it’s gonna hurt like a bitch at least tell me straight up! Pissed me OFF! I mean ****! It’s my ballsack man! Be honest….SHIT! I was SOFAKING MAD dude!
So we wait for it to take effect and the doc goes after it. It didn’t hurt exactly, it’s just uncomfortable. To me, yes I’m a baby when it comes to someone knifing my ballsack, it was more than a little uncomfortable….yet it didn’t HURT per say. This nurse is in my face the whole time talking about the weather and crap and after about 15 minutes have gone by and sweat is rolling down my face I finally just looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry, but what in the HELLl is taking so long?!? For God’s sake stitch me up and get me outta here!”
By the time I hobbled out of there I apologized profusely to her and she said, “Oh honey that was NOTHING. I’ve had much worse than you.” I made sure to tell here again about the honesty thing and she said she’d remember that forever.

EDIT - yeah per prev post - frozen corn/peas/whatever.... chill in your favorite recliner, ice your nuts &, drink beer for few days and you're back in action.

Johnny Vegas
11-06-2012, 10:19 AM
isn't getting married just another term for vasectomy? how do you get your balls chopped off twice? Also if you have a woman do it is it just an excuse for another woman to touch your twig n' berries without getting a divorce. Then lets say you end up getting a divorce and marry a hot 23 year old super model but your balls are in a jar taking its ultimate soak. How can you let this happen!!?

penguinz
11-06-2012, 10:22 AM
My trip to the chop shop….

I want to preface this with – I ain’t the kinda guy to just curse somebody out….I just don’t do that.
All was well right up to the point the nurse said, “You’re going to feel a littly sting”, and then she injected my nut sack tube (vas deferens) with a numbing agent and I just about went through the ****ing ROOF! I damn near yelled, "MOTHER ****! A little sting my ASS! ****!” ROFL
I mean I'm immediatly full on sailor mode! She apologizes and I told her damn if it’s gonna hurt like a bitch at least tell me straight up! Pissed me OFF! I mean ****! It’s my ballsack man! Be honest….SHIT! I was SOFAKING MAD dude!
So we wait for it to take effect and the doc goes after it. It didn’t hurt exactly, it’s just uncomfortable. To me, yes I’m a baby when it comes to someone knifing my ballsack, it was more than a little uncomfortable….yet it didn’t HURT per say. This nurse is in my face the whole time talking about the weather and crap and after about 15 minutes have gone by and sweat is rolling down my face I finally just looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry, but what in the HELLl is taking so long?!? For God’s sake stitch me up and get me outta here!”
By the time I hobbled out of there I apologized profusely to her and she said, “Oh honey that was NOTHING. I’ve had much worse than you.” I made sure to tell here again about the honesty thing and she said she’d remember that forever.

EDIT - yeah per prev post - frozen corn/peas/whatever.... chill in your favorite recliner, ice your nuts &, drink beer for few days and you're back in action.You are getting a needle stuck in your sack and then sliced open. what did you expect? It to feel like butterfly kisses?

bevischief
11-06-2012, 10:32 AM
I worked with a guy that had it done 3 times.

Radar Chief
11-06-2012, 10:37 AM
I worked with a guy that had it done 3 times.

:eek: How?
I know a guy that had his reversed when he got divorced, remarried and she wanted kids but he’s the only one I know willing to go under the knife twice.

frankotank
11-06-2012, 10:38 AM
You are getting a needle stuck in your sack and then sliced open. what did you expect? It to feel like butterfly kisses?

I would expect the nurse to tell me if it was gonna HURT LIKE A GIANT MOTHER****ING BITCH instead of saying "You're going to feel a little sting."

it's PISSING ME OFF all over again just thinking about it. what a stupid bitch!

here's a for instance...
for instance, the time I cut the tip of my thumb off and had to get what they call a "block" (where they inject like a quart of fluid into your thumb), the nurse looked me right in the eyes and said "I'm sorry, but this is gonna HURT LIKE A GIANT MOTHER****ING BITCH so prepare yourself!" OK, maybe I para-phrased that a little bit...but not much. they told me some ladies have said a block is worse than childbirth.
it was bad.
I still have two whole thumbs though! :thumb:

Lzen
11-06-2012, 10:47 AM
isn't getting married just another term for vasectomy? how do you get your balls chopped off twice? Also if you have a woman do it is it just an excuse for another woman to touch your twig n' berries without getting a divorce. Then lets say you end up getting a divorce and marry a hot 23 year old super model but your balls are in a jar taking its ultimate soak. How can you let this happen!!?

Hmmm, I can't tell if you're joking or if you're truly ignorant enough to think that they take out your testicles. :hmmm:

Johnny Vegas
11-06-2012, 10:50 AM
Hmmm, I can't tell if you're joking or if you're truly ignorant enough to think that they take out your testicles. :hmmm:

I can't even joke in a parody thread. Election day makes everyone serious. Thanks a lot Bin Laden.

KILLER_CLOWN
11-06-2012, 11:50 AM
Just tell your significant other to drink that stuff, problem solved.

Chiefspants
11-06-2012, 12:30 PM
?v=eb3_e4ZZWuQ

Spott
11-06-2012, 12:37 PM
No, not really. It was a little bit of discomfort afterwards but nothing major. The procedure only took about15 minutes and I was numb for a while afterwards. I was worried like crazy before I did it and then realized it wasn't that big of a deal. I was only 24 or 25 at the time so it may be a bigger deal if you do it when you are older.

frankotank
11-06-2012, 12:39 PM
?v=eb3_e4ZZWuQ

a bizarre post.
I can tell you most definitely though, the three dudes up front......their balls tubes had not been recently cut before making that video!

theelusiveeightrop
11-06-2012, 12:41 PM
Sharp instruments and needles near my nutsack? Where do I sign up?

Zeke
11-06-2012, 12:50 PM
yes. It hurt like a mother. The most pain i ever felt.

L.A. Chieffan
11-06-2012, 12:52 PM
No, not really. It was a little bit of discomfort afterwards but nothing major. The procedure only took about15 minutes and I was numb for a while afterwards. I was worried like crazy before I did it and then realized it wasn't that big of a deal. I was only 24 or 25 at the time so it may be a bigger deal if you do it when you are older.

I was 21. WINNING

Gary
11-06-2012, 01:04 PM
From the best of Craigslist titled "What a vasectomy is really like": http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/3148365387.html

L.A. Chieffan
11-06-2012, 01:09 PM
From the best of Craigslist titled "What a vasectomy is really like": http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/3148365387.html

LOL its nothing like that at all. The whole thing takes like 10 minutes. The worst part about the whole is process is the prep, you have to shave your balls like a mother.

Afterwards its the greatest feeling in the world that you can nut wherever and whenever you want and NEVER have to worry about getting locked down for the next 18 years.

frankotank
11-06-2012, 01:09 PM
From the best of Craigslist titled "What a vasectomy is really like": http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/3148365387.html

dammit man! what the hell is WRONG with you!
I nearly puked......
memories....like the bottom of my ball sack.....

Frosty
11-06-2012, 01:21 PM
One of the shots hurt like a mofo but the rest wasn't that bad. The valium before helped a lot. The burning smell from the cauterizing was disturbing, though.

BTW, when they tell you to wait a while before having sex again, there's a reason. Ouch.

Radar Chief
11-06-2012, 01:36 PM
Sex was the furthest thing from my mind for at least a week.
I was 41 when I got the snip.

KCBOSS1
11-06-2012, 03:43 PM
This seems like a good place for a Churck Norris Joke

Claynus
11-06-2012, 03:44 PM
I don't care. Pioli cannot reproduce.