PDA

View Full Version : News Help wanted: Professional fart-smeller


bevischief
12-12-2012, 10:16 AM
http://www.sott.net/article/254498-Help-wanted-Professional-fart-smeller

There are a lot of bad jobs out there, and maybe you're convinced that yours is one of them. But here's a job description that virtually nobody would likely be jealous of: professional fart-smeller.

Some Chinese who practice alternative medicine apparently believe that each person's flatulence has particular nuances - bitter, savory, sweet, fishy - and these undertones can be used to detect diseases by a trained expert with a sharp sense of smell, according to Rocket News 24. An unusually meaty smell, for example, might be interpreted as an indication of intestinal bleeding or tumors.

Oddly enough, some scientific research suggests that using farts as a diagnostic tool isn't as far-fetched as it might sound.

Dogs, for example, have been trained to detect the presence of prostate cancer from smelling patients' urine samples. In another study, dogs were able to identify the stool samples of colorectal cancer patients with 97 percent accuracy.

Additionally, researchers have found that people are able to determine, with some degree of accuracy, what someone's personality is like based on their particular body odor.

But before you rush off to join the legions of Chinese practitioners who are on this lucrative career path (the job reportedly pays about US$50,000 a year), remember that it's a rather exclusive club. Only people ages 18 to 45 can be accredited as fart-smellers; they must be free of any nasal impairment or disease and refrain from all smoking and alcohol, according to Rocket Science 24.

Then there's the lengthy training program and the accreditation test - and that's one final exam most of us would probably be happy to skip.

DMAC
12-12-2012, 10:22 AM
We all do it. Might as well get paid for it.

gblowfish
12-12-2012, 10:24 AM
That job is a gas!

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VPIP9KXdmO0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

mikey23545
12-12-2012, 10:32 AM
I bet I could make any of them regret the day they earned their accreditation.

Gonzo
12-12-2012, 10:34 AM
Just another example of union jobs going to China.

IBFS
International Brotherhood of Fart Smellers priced themselves out of more jobs.

mikey23545
12-12-2012, 10:38 AM
http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/5161/128866456424871335.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/35/128866456424871335.jpg/)

tooge
12-12-2012, 11:03 AM
I turn 46 in two months. I need to apply asap

kepp
12-12-2012, 11:17 AM
It would suck to go through the whole training program and then fail the final exam.

Rain Man
12-12-2012, 11:19 AM
I bet this is a backup plan for all those people applying for the nipple-tweaking jobs in the adjacent city.

bevischief
12-12-2012, 11:22 AM
I guess we now know what Matt Cassel's next job is going to be...

Molitoth
12-12-2012, 11:24 AM
I guess we now know what Matt Cassel's next job is going to be...

That would be awesome if we could tell Pioli that we've been smelling his shit for 4 years, he can stand to smell every fans shit for 5 minutes. (each!) =P

theelusiveeightrop
12-12-2012, 12:35 PM
China leads the world in job creation.

okoye35chiefs
12-12-2012, 01:25 PM
http://ts2.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4772581345264185&pid=1.7&w=136&h=155&c=7&rs=1

but when I do everyone wants to come talk to me...

Scorp
12-12-2012, 01:50 PM
My shit doesn't stink!

chiefzilla1501
12-12-2012, 02:28 PM
What's the recommended technique? Do you fart into a wine glass, swish it around, then smell?

KILLER_CLOWN
12-12-2012, 02:49 PM
It would suck to go through the whole training program and then fail the final exam.

Just think of the medicaid patients and people that will "Pay you later", pure suck i tell ya.

tooge
12-12-2012, 02:49 PM
oops, my bad. I thought they were looking for a professional smart feller.