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View Full Version : Life So what am i suppose to say?


Mr. Laz
03-16-2013, 04:57 AM
Apparently a family member is going to 'come out of the closet' to me in the near future.

I don't why she plans to tell me she's gay considering that she has never told me anything else about her sexuality. I assume it's some kind of cathartic form of self-expression to be herself etc,etc.

She's family, i love her and i want to be supportive, but to be honest i just want to keep the entire process as short as possible. So what the hell am i suppose to say?

i'm gay:

'ok ... good for you'

'whatever makes you happy'

'cool'

'can i watch?'

'is she hot?'

'anti-freeze'

'pics or it didn't happen'



seriously ... supportive, not condescending, not judgmental,not patronizing

what are you suppose to say?


(fyi if you prefer to respond privately, as PM is fine)


Thanks in Advance

beach tribe
03-16-2013, 04:58 AM
I would say........So?
Or.....and?

Mr. Laz
03-16-2013, 05:01 AM
I would say........So?
Or.....and?
the 'no big deal' response

i thought about that ... but isn't that dismissing her 'important news'?


i imagine it's a big risk to reveal something like this and to just 'shrug' isn't going to be very supportive.

MotherfuckerJones
03-16-2013, 05:04 AM
We need to see the evidence before we can give advice ROFL

BigRock
03-16-2013, 05:12 AM
"Cool. I'm glad you told me."

Or if applicable:

"What, am I supposed to be surprised? With that haircut?"

big nasty kcnut
03-16-2013, 05:28 AM
well slap my titties and call me surely glad your gay but i love you no matter what
Posted via Mobile Device

big nasty kcnut
03-16-2013, 05:28 AM
Posted via Mobile Device

Fishpicker
03-16-2013, 05:41 AM
http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/9007/hansoloiknow.png

Mr. Flopnuts
03-16-2013, 05:48 AM
I'd offer up a big, warm smile and say "Thank you for sharing something so important to you with me. I'll always be supportive of you no matter what is going on in your life."

That honestly should take care of it.

threebag02
03-16-2013, 05:48 AM
Maybe you should initiate the conversation by asking her if she has any single friends, then stare dumbfounded when she tells you.

Bugeater
03-16-2013, 05:53 AM
the 'no big deal' response

i thought about that ... but isn't that dismissing her 'important news'?


i imagine it's a big risk to reveal something like this and to just 'shrug' isn't going to be very supportive.
Well what in the hell could she possibly want? You to throw her a goddamn party for it?

Shame on her for putting you in this situation.

Brooklyn
03-16-2013, 06:00 AM
m.gawker.com/5990745/dad-overhears-sons-plans-to-come-out-assuages-his-fears-with-heartwarming-letter-of-acceptance

Infidel Goat
03-16-2013, 06:26 AM
I'd offer up a big, warm smile and say "Thank you for sharing something so important to you with me. I'll always be supportive of you no matter what is going on in your life."

That honestly should take care of it.

I'm actually not a fan of the second sentence. It sounds more like a I love the sinner but might hate the sin response.

If you're cool with it, say so. There's nothing wrong with saying you are an ally of the LGBTQ community unless you're not.

LoneWolf
03-16-2013, 06:28 AM
Ask her for a copy of her softball schedule and then tell her you'll be at every game in the first row.

something cooler
03-16-2013, 06:48 AM
I'm actually not a fan of the second sentence. It sounds more like a I love the sinner but might hate the sin response.

If you're cool with it, say so. There's nothing wrong with saying you are an ally of the LGBTQ community unless you're not.

You sound a little dickish here.

Mr. Flopnuts
03-16-2013, 06:48 AM
I'm actually not a fan of the second sentence. It sounds more like a I love the sinner but might hate the sin response.

If you're cool with it, say so. There's nothing wrong with saying you are an ally of the LGBTQ community unless you're not.

I see how that comes across. I am supportive of the LGBTQ community, so I guess my intention was, "Don't ever feel like there is something you should be uncomfortable talking about with me" but it didn't come out that way.

Chieftain58
03-16-2013, 06:49 AM
Ask her if she wants a cookie

something cooler
03-16-2013, 06:50 AM
Ask her if she wants a cookie

She's gay, so she'd probably prefer a wafer.

theelusiveeightrop
03-16-2013, 07:03 AM
Try to arrange a threesome. Include midgets, donkeys, and balloons also.

bevischief
03-16-2013, 07:06 AM
Does it want money?

BryanBusby
03-16-2013, 07:07 AM
tits or gtfo?

bevischief
03-16-2013, 07:19 AM
It's there life.

Nightfyre
03-16-2013, 07:32 AM
You know, I went with: "I'm glad you finally told me but I've known for years." When I encountered this situation.

Scorp
03-16-2013, 07:41 AM
Keep it short and simple. After they tell you, just say "Fag" and walk out of the room.

Demonpenz
03-16-2013, 07:41 AM
It was a tough decision but you are brave for coming out.

Spott
03-16-2013, 07:43 AM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/RlBr2fyqn9g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

bishop_74
03-16-2013, 08:03 AM
"Are you sure? You don't look gay."

Mr_Tomahawk
03-16-2013, 08:04 AM
"Can you elaborate...?"

crossbow
03-16-2013, 08:12 AM
Them gay girls lick carpet.

InChiefsHell
03-16-2013, 08:13 AM
I know. Some how...I've always known.

trndobrd
03-16-2013, 08:15 AM
Take your pick:

"It's so cool that we share a common interest."

"Um, yeah, everyone in the family has known for years."

"I really want to be supportive and understand. So, is it like two pair of scissors or something?"

"I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me. But I really wanted to know when you are going to have my motorcycle fixed?"

MTG#10
03-16-2013, 08:16 AM
"Does this mean you're trying out for the WNBA?"

mikey23545
03-16-2013, 08:19 AM
Take your pick:

"It's so cool that we share a common interest."

"Um, yeah, everyone in the family has known for years."

"I really want to be supportive and understand. So, is it like two pair of scissors or something?"

"I'm glad you felt comfortable telling me. But I really wanted to know when you are going to have my motorcycle fixed?"

"Nice tits!"

Rausch
03-16-2013, 08:21 AM
"And?..."

jAZ
03-16-2013, 08:31 AM
Apparently a family member is going to 'come out of the closet' to me in the near future.

I don't why she plans to tell me she's gay considering that she has never told me anything else about her sexuality. I assume it's some kind of cathartic form of self-expression to be herself etc,etc.

She's family, i love her and i want to be supportive, but to be honest i just want to keep the entire process as short as possible. So what the hell am i suppose to say?

i'm gay:

'ok ... good for you'

'whatever makes you happy'

'cool'

'can i watch?'

'is she hot?'

'anti-freeze'

'pics or it didn't happen'



seriously ... supportive, not condescending, not judgmental,not patronizing

what are you suppose to say?


(fyi if you prefer to respond privately, as PM is fine)


Thanks in Advance
Cool that you are asking. Says a lot about your willingness to try to support a faimly member even when you don't feel comfortable about her choice to have the discussion or orientation.

So I start with a non-judgmental question: why treat this as question of someone's sex life?

I mean, I understand why, but my point with that question is to emphasize that I don't think it's exclusively a question of sex life. It's a question of simple human socialization. It's a question of "who do you spend your time with?" "How did you meet them?"

So it seems to me that both the easiest thing for you to do, and honestly, the very best thing for your family member, I'm sure, is to ask the human questions like those above. But also ask her questions about the process she's gone through coming to this point? How did she find out she was gay? What was it like telling her family?

If you ask those kinds of questions, with sincere empathy for, what is fair to assume was a difficult process for her, you will be showing an amazing level of support without having to be all touchey-feely about an issue that is apparently a bit uncomfortable for you.

Rausch
03-16-2013, 08:35 AM
If you ask those kinds of questions, with sincere empathy for, what is fair to assume was a difficult process for her, you will be showing an amazing level of support without having to be all touchey-feely about an issue that is apparently a bit uncomfortable for you.

It's not about him.

It's about her feeling she can trust him (apparently more than most in her family. As...odd...as that may be) to have her back.

That's it. That's your job.

Love it - hate it - she clearly respects you.

So have her back...

OrtonsPiercedTaint
03-16-2013, 08:40 AM
I don't know what to say here....

acesn8s
03-16-2013, 08:43 AM
I.m gay:

"So, you wanna go pick up some chicks?"

It's an ice breaker before you start damning her to hell or praising her decision or whatever you do.

mikey23545
03-16-2013, 08:46 AM
Cool that you are asking. Says a lot about your willingness to try to support a faimly member even when you don't feel comfortable about her choice to have the discussion or orientation.

So I start with a non-judgmental question: why treat this as question of someone's sex life?

I mean, I understand why, but my point with that question is to emphasize that I don't think it's exclusively a question of sex life. It's a question of simple human socialization. It's a question of "who do you spend your time with?" "How did you meet them?"

So it seems to me that both the easiest thing for you to do, and honestly, the very best thing for your family member, I'm sure, is to ask the human questions like those above. But also ask her questions about the process she's gone through coming to this point? How did she find out she was gay? What was it like telling her family?

If you ask those kinds of questions, with sincere empathy for, what is fair to assume was a difficult process for her, you will be showing an amazing level of support without having to be all touchey-feely about an issue that is apparently a bit uncomfortable for you. Vote Democrat!


What jIZ really means.

bevischief
03-16-2013, 08:47 AM
Go with your gut.

Rausch
03-16-2013, 08:48 AM
Go with your gut.

:shake:

jAZ
03-16-2013, 08:54 AM
It's not about him.

It's about her feeling she can trust him (apparently more than most in her family. As...odd...as that may be) to have her back.

That's it. That's your job.

Love it - hate it - she clearly respects you.

So have her back...

Great point.

Ace Gunner
03-16-2013, 08:57 AM
how about "you have me confused with someone who gives a shit"

WV
03-16-2013, 09:02 AM
Just tell her you can relate completely and then compare notes on cunnilingus.

Buehler445
03-16-2013, 09:07 AM
Best of luckbud. That's a tough job.

lcarus
03-16-2013, 09:10 AM
I'd say "right on. scissor me timbers"

Iowanian
03-16-2013, 09:17 AM
"Well, at least now we can talk about pussy and have something in common"

patteeu
03-16-2013, 09:22 AM
I'm flattered that you feel comfortable sharing this with me. I think it's great that you're able to come out. I'm sure it's something that isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.

Hey, that reminds me of this cool thing I read on the internet. Have you seen this:

(copied from Brooklyn's link)
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18hk7pzxk3y25jpg/original.jpg

buddha
03-16-2013, 09:24 AM
Simple.

You put your arms around her and tell her that you love her. Don't over think this one.

Spott
03-16-2013, 09:25 AM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LKkNQ8l9XqQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

patteeu
03-16-2013, 09:26 AM
You know, I went with: "I'm glad you finally told me but I've known for years." When I encountered this situation.

I went with "Wow. I'm sorry. I still consider you a friend though." Which probably wasn't the best approach, haha. I was shocked and the "I'm sorry" part was supposed to be about how difficult it must be to be gay in 1980s America, but it probably didn't come across that way. He's still a friend though, so it worked out OK.

ClevelandBronco
03-16-2013, 09:28 AM
"You're gay? Really? Me too. Don't tell anybody, though."

LoneWolf
03-16-2013, 09:30 AM
I'd say "right on. scissor me timbers"

ROFLROFLROFL

Braincase
03-16-2013, 09:31 AM
"It doesn't really affect our relationship one way or the other. I just want you to be happy."

Then ask her for tips on Colonel Angus. Flick like a snake, or lick like an ice cream cone.

Carlota69
03-16-2013, 09:37 AM
I'm flattered that you feel comfortable sharing this with me. I think it's great that you're able to come out. I'm sure it's something that isn't the easiest thing in the world to do.

Hey, that reminds me of this cool thing I read on the internet. Have you seen this:

(copied from Brooklyn's link)
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18hk7pzxk3y25jpg/original.jpg

What a great letter. Grab bread and OJ, we're out, just like you. Lol
Have her back, be supportive and treat it like its no big deal for you, although you understand her coming out to you is a big deal for her. You love, and want her to be happy and want her to be who she is and that you accept who she is. Period. It'll go a long way for her. Positive impact.

Chiefshrink
03-16-2013, 09:42 AM
Here is what you say and ask:

"The real issue here is not what I or others think or feel about you coming out, but rather what IS important is what you think and feel about coming out. What say you ??

That will get the ball rolling:thumb:

Mr. Laz
03-16-2013, 09:55 AM
Simple.

You put your arms around her and tell her that you love her. Don't over think this one.
I thinking maybe this, less chance of me screwing it up

Then all i have to do is just make sure that the hug doesn't come across as a sympathy hug or something, instead of a 'love you' hug.

HoneyBadger
03-16-2013, 10:01 AM
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvczwobEB81qckm26.gif

Dallas Chief
03-16-2013, 10:02 AM
I had a college room mate come out about a year after we all graduated. I totally feigned indignation and ranted and raved, preached to him about residing in the eternal flames of Hades, emphasizing the word FLAME several times. I acted all hurt and sad that he hid that from ME of all people... Then I gave him a big ole hug , told him I was just messing with him, loved him just the same, and congratulated him on having the balls to tell us all what we had all already known for so long. And then we all went to his first drag pageant/event. I know this probably doesn't help but I just wanted to share a similar experience I had. :)

Chiefshrink
03-16-2013, 10:13 AM
I had a college room mate come out about a year after we all graduated. I totally feigned indignation and ranted and raved, preached to him about residing in the eternal flames of Hades, emphasizing the word FLAME several times. I acted all hurt and sad that he hid that from ME of all people... Then I gave him a big ole hug , told him I was just messing with him, loved him just the same, and congratulated him on having the balls to tell us all what we had all already known for so long. And then we all went to his first drag pageant/event. I know this probably doesn't help but I just wanted to share a similar experience I had. :)

What did you wear in the parade ?:p

Dallas Chief
03-16-2013, 10:16 AM
What did you wear in the parade ?:p

Nada. LMAO

Chiefshrink
03-16-2013, 10:20 AM
Nada. LMAO

Just keeping with tradition I see:thumb:

beach tribe
03-16-2013, 10:21 AM
"Maybe I can caddy for you sometime"

CoMoChief
03-16-2013, 10:23 AM
Ask her why? and have her go into detail as to why she's decided to be gay.

KC Tattoo
03-16-2013, 10:31 AM
Ask her details of her getting it on with her female partner(s) and report back to us. Better yet get video so we can better help your delima.

bevischief
03-16-2013, 10:46 AM
You can always adopt.

Dayze
03-16-2013, 10:53 AM
Good for you etc..

bevischief
03-16-2013, 10:54 AM
KY?

lcarus
03-16-2013, 10:55 AM
KY?

Johnson & Johnson were gay. That's why they invented KY Jelly.

bevischief
03-16-2013, 10:56 AM
Soap on a rope.

KC Tattoo
03-16-2013, 10:57 AM
Say. I know & not a damn thing wrong with that.

scott free
03-16-2013, 11:03 AM
As long as you're happy... you're family and i'll always love you the same anyway.

Keep it short and simple.

gblowfish
03-16-2013, 11:09 AM
I'd say "And I'm a Jayhawk."
Then she'll shun you forever.

something cooler
03-16-2013, 11:13 AM
I'd say "And I'm a Jayhawk."
Then she'll shun you forever.

You just made me feel better.

Thank you, bud!

I've been all moody this AM because of last night, but hey, atleast I don't root for a fictional homosexual bird.

beach tribe
03-16-2013, 11:24 AM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZRE0VUmuD3w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Rausch
03-16-2013, 11:26 AM
I'd say "And I'm a Jayhawk."
Then she'll shun you forever.

That's one option...

RippedmyFlesh
03-16-2013, 11:27 AM
I thinking maybe this, less chance of me screwing it up

Then all i have to do is just make sure that the hug doesn't come across as a sympathy hug or something, instead of a 'love you' hug.

Maybe go for self deprecating humor.

"I'm sorry I'm such a douchebag that you find this difficult to share with me"

scho63
03-16-2013, 11:35 AM
Tell her:

"Gay? Thank God. I thought you were going to tell me you're a Democrat!"

something cooler
03-16-2013, 11:38 AM
You might want to kick it off by asking her if she's ever actually had any dick before.

LoneWolf
03-16-2013, 01:33 PM
Ask her why? and have her go into detail as to why she's decided to be gay.

:spock: You don't know many gay people do you.

loochy
03-16-2013, 01:38 PM
Just say "OK"

If you are gay then be gay. Whatever. Like someone else above said, are you suppose to throw a party or something?

keg in kc
03-16-2013, 01:41 PM
So, you're a lesbian? Hmm. Want to be my wingman?

HIChief
03-16-2013, 01:42 PM
:evil:Apparently a family member is going to 'come out of the closet' to me in the near future.

I don't why she plans to tell me she's gay considering that she has never told me anything else about her sexuality. I assume it's some kind of cathartic form of self-expression to be herself etc,etc.

She's family, i love her and i want to be supportive, but to be honest i just want to keep the entire process as short as possible. So what the hell am i suppose to say?

i'm gay:

'ok ... good for you'

'whatever makes you happy'

'cool'

'can i watch?'

'is she hot?'

'anti-freeze'

'pics or it didn't happen'



seriously ... supportive, not condescending, not judgmental,not patronizing

what are you suppose to say?


(fyi if you prefer to respond privately, as PM is fine)


Thanks in Advance


To paraphrase you, "You're family, I love you and I want to be supportive." That should suffice.

salame
03-16-2013, 01:43 PM
supposed*