Pooping at work

[TLO]

Discuss.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Poop in the shower brah and you won't have to.

[ChiTown]

Q

[Eureka]

It is a paid $&@%.

[TLO]

Pooping at work might be the best part of my day.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Ghost poopers can go fuck themselves though

[scorpio]

I piss all over the seats to punish people who can't be bothered to shit at home.

[ROYC75]

Why not, the Chiefs do it daily!

[Pablo]

Pooping at work might be the best part of my day.Sounds like there might be a suicide in your future if this is the case.

[notorious]

Our football team does it every week on national tv.

[notorious]

Why not, the Chiefs do it daily!

****!

[seclark]

I piss all over the seats to punish people who can't be bothered to shit at home.

i spray the toilet paper too, just to make sure.
sec

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Smoke licks more ass than a Boston Terrier

[FlaChief58]

I make sure I hold it until I get to work, drop my load and never flush or spray freshener afterwards, just so I can share my glorious brown trout with the person lucky enough to go in after me. Oh the stories I could tell....

[Iowanian]

This topic has been covered in depth....10 years ago for your enjoyment.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=111071

sample contained

In a meeting, Up in front,
A gurgle happens in my gut.
Sensation growing, moving down
Please Oh Please, no Noise of Brown.

Pinching cheeks with all my might
Hope to God the Seals' tight.
If it happens, and my Crack gets tacky
I'm so fooked...My pants, light khaki.

Presentation, finish quick
The smell escapes, makes people sick.
No I can't take any questions
Must go deal with Indigestion.

Throwing People out of my way,
they'll be sorry if I stay.
Run for bathroom Doing fine,
Grab A stall, thank God no Line.

Explosion Happens, volume triples
Did Crapnel chunks just hit my nipple?
I made it through, and tamed this beast
Hold my Breath and Sigh Relief.

Into room They come,
as Toilet Drains,
As I proudly walk, the walk of Shame.

[TEX]

Discuss.

Doesn't belong here. Take it somewhere else.

[bevischief]

Is this some of a cry for help?

[gblowfish]

If you're going to start a poop thread, make it a good one, and one we haven't discussed before. Like, pooping at church, or have you dropped a deuce that looked like Mount Rushmore, or, can you describe your last poop in geologic terms? Was it Basaltic? Igneous? Sedementary? Metamorphic? A Conglomerate?

Let's pick up our game here people....

[KCTitus]

Dropping trou and leaving your work badge visible to anyone walking into the restroom is a violation of work dumpage rules.

[KCTitus]

If you're going to start a poop thread, make it a good one, and one we haven't discussed before. Like, pooping at church, or have you dropped a deuce that looked like Mount Rushmore, or, can you describe your last poop in geologic terms? Was it Basaltic? Igneous? Sedementary? Metamorphic? A Conglomerate?

Let's pick up our game here people....

Agreed...if you're going to talk about good 'road games', at least talk about epic road wins.

Truck stops, international airports, the dive bar downtown with no door on the stall...

[Chuck Fargers]

I approve of it, yes.

[TLO]

Anyone else pooping at work today? I sure am!

[Pasta Little Brioni]

No. There are no showers at work.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

It is your God given right to poop at work. I'm a very regular individual, and a master of my own domain. I tell my body what time to poop every day. Lately, it's been right before getting into the shower before work. Wipe your ass, then you wash your ass. You gotta wipe your ass before you wash your ass! But that's only because I haven't been working for the man for the last few years. When I am though? I'm gonna get me a twenty spot to poo. Err. Single. Day.

[Reerun_KC]

No, not unless on a transatlantic or extremely long legs to Hawaii or south America... We avoid it if all possible.

[Reerun_KC]

No. There are no showers at work.The hell?

[Mr. Flopnuts]

The hell?

Where else would you have a man shat?

[Reerun_KC]

Wait you guys shit in your shower?

[gblowfish]

It is your God given right to poop at work. I'm a very regular individual, and a master of my own domain. I tell my body what time to poop every day. Lately, it's been right before getting into the shower before work. Wipe your ass, then you wash your ass. You gotta wipe your ass before you wash your ass! But that's only because I haven't been working for the man for the last few years. When I am though? I'm gonna get me a twenty spot to poo. Err. Single. Day.

My best advice if you're in the shower: Wash your face BEFORE you wash your ass.

The other way around is not pleasant. At All.

[BigRichard]

Wait you guys shit in your shower?

ROFL

[Pasta Little Brioni]

Wait you guys shit in your shower?

ROFL It's an exhilarating experience

[kjwood75nro]

Wait you guys shit in your shower?
Only if it's post-hangover diarrhea.

Otherwise, it won't go down the drain.

[Reerun_KC]

So do you use paper Ass gaskets or do you raw dog the lid with you junk?

[Mr. Flopnuts]

My best advice if you're in the shower: Wash your face BEFORE you wash your ass.

The other way around is not pleasant. At All.

I've got that soap filled poof that has an exfoliating side for your face, and a soft, smooth pillow for your undercarriage. It's great! Can't fuck that up even if you wake up still drunk!

Only if it's post-hangover diarrhea.

Otherwise, it won't go down the drain.

Stomp and smash, my man. Stomp and smash...

[Fish]

Only if it's post-hangover diarrhea.

Otherwise, it won't go down the drain.

Use your foot to squish it through the holes in the drain...

[kjwood75nro]

Use your foot to squish it through the holes in the drain...
I don't think they make a Drano strong enough to bust that clog.

[cooper barrett]

My best advice if you're in the shower: Wash your face BEFORE you wash your ass.

The other way around is not pleasant. At All.

My advice: Never shake hands with the plumber who clears your shower drain. **** never shake hands with a plumber, period

[FlaChief58]

My advice: Never shake hands with the plumber who clears your shower drain. **** never shake hands with a plumber, period

Fuck you asshole!

[Garcia Bronco]

"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."

[Kyle DeLexus]

Wait you guys shit in your shower?

It's a real time saver.

[Dayze]

A guy I work with leaves work if he has to go, and goes home to shit. From Gardner, to DeSoto.

So while he's shitting, I get bombarded with all the stuff that he should be doing.
At my place, the inmates run the asylum, so it's pretty much par for the course.

He also leaves work to get his hair cut. Gardner to college and Quivira. ...appointments at like 3pm..so he leaves at 215, after his hour or so lunch, the calls or texts after his haircut and says his appt ran long and he won't be back in that day. Oh, and a haircut every three weeks.

Awesome

[TrebMaxx]

My biggest gripe about dropping a deuce at work is the quality of the TP. At my current job you need to pull about six feet of TP and fold it over about eighteen times just to get 2 ply. Plus at times I think I could file a workman's comp claim after using it due to the poor quality and being rough as hell. But if ya gotta go, you gotta go.

[Rasputin]

A guy I work with leaves work if he has to go, and goes home to shit. From Gardner, to DeSoto.

So while he's shitting, I get bombarded with all the stuff that he should be doing.
At my place, the inmates run the asylum, so it's pretty much par for the course.

He also leaves work to get his hair cut. Gardner to college and Quivira. ...appointments at like 3pm..so he leaves at 215, after his hour or so lunch, the calls or texts after his haircut and says his appt ran long and he won't be back in that day. Oh, and a haircut every three weeks.

Awesome

Offer him a nice hot cup of antifreeze

[Rasputin]

My biggest gripe about dropping a deuce at work is the quality of the TP. At my current job you need to pull about six feet of TP and fold it over about eighteen times just to get 2 ply. Plus at times I think I could file a workman's comp claim after using it due to the poor quality and being rough as hell. But if ya gotta go, you gotta go.

Just wait until they have budget cuts and your forced to use only four squares of tissue.

[Canofbier]

I prefer to poop at home so I can shower afterwards, but one can't always be so lucky (particularly when one travels for work four days each week). The office I work in now has that corporate TP so thin and rough that it's as likely to break skin as it is to actually cleanse your butt.

[mdchiefsfan]

It isn't enjoyable for me, unfortunately. There is a single person room (which is great), but there is a motion sensor for the lights. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but they have it set to turn off after, what feels like, 30 seconds.

Also, there is an extraordinarily loud fan that activates with the light, and there are desks about five feet from the bathroom doors (must suck for them).

This leaves you with two options: poop in the dark, with no fan for the unfortunate soul that follows up after you, or shit as if you were suffering from an epileptic seizure to keep the light and the fan on.

[Rasputin]

It isn't enjoyable for me, unfortunately. There is a single person room (which is great), but there is a motion sensor for the lights. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but they have it set to turn off after, what feels like, 30 seconds.

Also, there is an extraordinarily loud fan that activates with the light, and there are desks about five feet from the bathroom doors (must suck for them).

This leaves you with two options: poop in the dark, with no fan for the unfortunate soul that follows up after you, or shit as if you were suffering from an epileptic seizure to keep the light and the fan on.

Shit just got real

ROFL


I hate automatic shitters that flush if you lift a buttcheek. Fuck you automatic shitter makers :#

[jettio]

It isn't enjoyable for me, unfortunately. There is a single person room (which is great), but there is a motion sensor for the lights. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but they have it set to turn off after, what feels like, 30 seconds.

Also, there is an extraordinarily loud fan that activates with the light, and there are desks about five feet from the bathroom doors (must suck for them).

This leaves you with two options: poop in the dark, with no fan for the unfortunate soul that follows up after you, or shit as if you were suffering from an epileptic seizure to keep the light and the fan on.

Are you sure there is not something on the light switch that you could use to let it stay on manual until you return it to motion?

My guess is that building codes would not allow for a motion only light switch in an interior room.

[Dunit35]

I use to hold my dumps in for entire 10 hour shifts as I prefered to dump at home.

Now, I'm cheap and want to waste someone else's TP.

I'm pretty sure my four year old and two year old girls use a roll a day. Drives me nuts.

[kjwood75nro]

Times like this make me feel lucky that my office is at home...

Though my patrol often takes me out of range of said office, so depending on the time of year, corn fields and tree belts are a godsend.

[Rausch]

On weekends we all go $3it in the warden's squatter...

[Rasputin]

On weekends we all go $3it in the warden's squatter...


What does that mean? You spend $3 to take a shit?

[Rausch]

What does that mean? You spend $3 to take a shit?

I'm an honorable man.

We don't discuss those matters in public...

[Rasputin]

I take many shits at night at work. The more coffee I drink the more I end up taking shits throughout my graveyard shift.

[Rasputin]

I'm an honorable man.

We don't discuss those matters in public...

It's also filter evasion I'm pretty sure the mods would rather you spell out shit. It's not a bad word it's what living creatures do.

[Rausch]

It's also filter evasion I'm pretty sure the mods would rather you spell out shit. It's not a bad word it's what living creatures do.

Get. The fuck.

Off my porch...

[Rasputin]

I'm an honorable man.

We don't discuss those matters in public...

This is a poop thread we are discussing poop shit turds fecal matter Raiders sludge fudge crap feces dung what ever you want to call it but it's all the same as shit.

[Rausch]

This is a poop thread we are discussing poop shit turds fecal matter Raiders sludge fudge crap feces dung what ever you want to call it but it's all the same as shit.

You start fucking with my style of posting we have a problem.

I'm hoping you don't bang my wife, for your health I hope you haven't banged my daughter, but how I parse out my opinions is up to me...

[Rasputin]

You start fucking with my style of posting we have a problem.

I'm hoping you don't bang my wife, for your health I hope you haven't banged my daughter, but how I parse out my opinions is up to me...

I just repped you for 64K post congrats doing it in a poop thread :clap:

[Rausch]

I just repped you for 64K post congrats doing it in a poop thread :clap:

Just shit my pants...

[Rasputin]

Just shit my pants...

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

[Rausch]

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

NOW you get my sense of humor...

[Rasputin]

NOW you get my sense of humor...


I already knew you had a sense of humor but i was rolling when you said fucking your wife and daughter

[Rasputin]

You don't get 64k here without a sense of humor

[Rausch]

You don't get 64k here without a sense of humor

Posts like this are why I'd allow you to buy me a beer...

[Rausch]

I already knew you had a sense of humor but i was rolling when you said ****ing your wife and daughter

I'd still prefer you not do both of them...

[Rasputin]

I'd still prefer you not do both of them...

I'd buy you a beer

[Rasputin]

I'd still prefer you not do both of them...

Do you have a sister? Is she hot?

[Rasputin]

I'd still prefer you not do both of them...

How old is your mom? Is she hot? I mean is she a cougar I like cougars

[Sanka]

http://memecrunch.com/meme/ARZYA/boss-makes-a-dollar-i-make-a-dime/image.gif

[Nickhead]

twice a day, sometimes three, ten minutes at a time :D

[mdchiefsfan]

Are you sure there is not something on the light switch that you could use to let it stay on manual until you return it to motion?

My guess is that building codes would not allow for a motion only light switch in an interior room.

Trust me.... I've looked.

[mdchiefsfan]

http://memecrunch.com/meme/ARZYA/boss-makes-a-dollar-i-make-a-dime/image.gif

ROFL

[scho63]

Just shit my pants...

Solid, chunky, or runny? :hmmm:

[scho63]

I've been lucky that all my jobs except as a teenager-early twenties I had clean and supreme bathrooms at work. Some damn near five star hotel quality!

[TribalElder]

Pooping now live from work

[stumppy]

I have to work at pooping.

[jettio]

Trust me.... I've looked.

That is messed up. I thought the motion only switches were for security lights.

[Rausch]

http://memecrunch.com/meme/ARZYA/boss-makes-a-dollar-i-make-a-dime/image.gif

Winning thread...

[Rausch]

How old is your mom? Is she hot?

Like 64-90. I'm not sure.

She's not hot but her SS is right around the corner!

I mean is she a cougar I like cougars

I think she is actually, but you're not in your 20's so that kind of rules you out immediately.

I mean, seriously, cougars don't hunt for 45 year old fat guys...