View Full Version : Where did you hide your dirty mags as a kid? As an adult?
This topic inspired by the toys one.
I kept mine in several places. Down by the creek was one. We also kept several in a tall stack of plywood. We also used to go down to the drugstore and put them inside of comic books to read until the owner became wise to it.
Fortunately, as an adult I don't have to hide mine because my g/f renews the subscription for me every year. I know most us guys aren't quite that lucky so what juvenile hiding strategy do you employ now?
12-01-2000, 12:26 PM
I tried to hide mine in the basement...once I accidently left one out in the open and my grandma saw it...
She left it where it was and when I went back to get it...I thought cool, no one saw it....then I opened it and found all the pictures had been torn out... :(
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst
12-01-2000, 12:30 PM
Whe I was a Kid I kept my Playboys and Penthouses in the loft of an old barn in town. Great place to hang out and build tunnels in the bales of straw. Several kids would pool their resources and we had a regular library of Playboys and Penthouses. <P>
12-01-2000, 12:34 PM
we always found alot in the cars in my uncles junk yard....kept them in the barn...and in a unforced air heat vent in the floor....great place...only one that mom never busted....she burned more than one would like to think....said something about warping my mind against women...i don't know why she would think that....i respect the bi@%es.. ;)just kidding of course
12-01-2000, 12:35 PM
The ones I had were stashed in the dog house. Our Doberman had a big [5x4x7]m dog house that had a little shelf inside up near the eaves. Since I was the one who played with and cared for the dog, I figured I was safe.
The best place to hide a collection was in my uncle's room at my grandma's. My uncle was a true horndog with 5-10 year collections of all the 'good' stuff, Playboy, Penthouse, Oui, Cheri, etc. He left them at grammy's in the closet, which neither grammy nor the'rents knew about. They'd assign me to sleep in there on our visits. Darn the luck.
12-01-2000, 12:37 PM
I just tore out the dirty pictures and stuck them inside other mags. They looked just like the pages of the other magazines so I could keep them right in my room with me!!! http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
12-01-2000, 12:38 PM
JC- Uncle Horndog...gotta love him.
I still remember the tattered pages and usually the centerfold had been ripped out. Covers were gone a lot also.
12-01-2000, 12:55 PM
I kept mine in a fort by the creek. We used to sneek them from our fathers who were hiding them from our mothers.Funny how some things never come up at the dinner table.
Still think dads are proud of their sons for stealing their Playboys. They just don't want to officially condone it because of moms.<P>
I guess all the guy's wives must read this board because nobody is admitting where they hide 'em now. Either that or all you old bastages' peckers have gone soft.... http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
12-01-2000, 12:59 PM
when i was a kid, the dirty ones i looked at were always kept on the coffee table in the living room. my folks were pretty liberal.
really misses those old national geographics
12-01-2000, 01:00 PM
Bob Dole knows he's going to catch crap for this, but here goes:
Bob Dole has never possessed a magazine of that ilk.
12-01-2000, 01:01 PM
dole...not when you have a decent internet connection, huh?
Bob - I KNOW you've read 'em though. Maybe you haven't owned any but if you dig chicks, you HAVE read them. On second thought, that bartender in Houston could hardly be described as eye candy.... evil http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif
12-01-2000, 01:02 PM
Haven't done that either, sec...
Bob Dole assumes it's for the same reason Bob Dole doesn't frequent clubs with exotic dancers. Just never have had the fascination.
12-01-2000, 01:03 PM
...oh yeah, sorry. I have mine in the bottom of one of my drawers now though, but bishop's girl knows ALL about 'em. We like to practicewith illustated instruction!!! http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
12-01-2000, 01:04 PM
Bob Dole knew you'd manage to work some sort of statement about that into the conversation, Kloster.
Bob Dole has read them a few times, yes. Just never had the desire to spend money on one.
12-01-2000, 01:04 PM
I own enough for you and me.
12-01-2000, 01:11 PM
My barber has them in his magazine rack, no need to buy my own.
Besides, my wife and I both have our own pc's at home.
"Yeah man I tell you what, that danged ole internet man, you just go on there and point and click, you don't need no ww.w com, you got them neked chicks on there man, you go click, click, click, it's real easy man"-Boomhauer
I'll try to forget about the bartender, bob. No promises around halloween though....
Bob Dole has never had a fascination with T&A.... dang - shoulda taken that one to the grave, dole!
12-01-2000, 01:16 PM
I removed the vent cover in the floor and slide them under the carpet and the replaced the vent cover. It seems awful 007 now but at the time those things were like gold and if you lost one, especially a good one(Hustler, Oui) it may take months to replace. And try trading for one from your friends...I used to steal cigarettes one at a time for weeks and trade them to a kid across the street whose old man was a real hardcore "Horndog".
12-01-2000, 01:16 PM
I have them everywhere now. In my desk, at the house. My girlfreind is pretty cool, no problems. I like all those porno flicks on the old dish system now too.
Favorite mag?. Partial to Barely 18 http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/wink.gif
12-01-2000, 01:18 PM
Owned a pretty good stack of zines and held onto them even after I was married. Threw 'em all in the dumpster when we packed up and left KC a few years back--wife's orders. Of course, I had started building my new collection, digitally, of course. They are hidden there on the pc and password protected, my son's going to have to become a hacker to break the encryption.
Never had many as a kid, although one of the groups of kids in the neighborhood did hide them in a tree house that was built.
12-01-2000, 01:18 PM
my desk drawer here at work - we sell the paper to Playboy - samples show up each month in my inbox - :D suckers!!!
12-01-2000, 01:25 PM
Bob Dole did not say he had no fascination for T&A. Bob Dole simply lacks the fascination for T&A that Bob Dole can't touch.
12-01-2000, 01:26 PM
I used to steal older ones from my dad's stash in the attic. Then I would rip the cover off of a sports illustrated and tape it to the outside of the Playboy. Then I'd hide it in my boxes of old SI's in my room, kind of like bishop. No one ever suspected a thing http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif
12-01-2000, 01:37 PM
my dad used to send us to the basement to split wood sometimes at night...my brother and i tood turns, and the other had time to snoop...we found a box full of good stuff on a top shelf that the previous owner had left..i assume.....made the chore less painfull...
12-01-2000, 02:33 PM
You goofball bishop, don't lie. I don't know if I told you or not, but I did look through them while you were still in Kansas City. That is probably the only reason they haven't collected dust http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif
12-01-2000, 02:42 PM
This will probably come out worse then I want, but after meeting KPhob's girlfriend I'm not sure why the guy needs any magazines...
Never owned one.
12-01-2000, 02:42 PM
Uhhh, busted bishop http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
12-01-2000, 02:57 PM
Nah, it is perfectly ok if he wants to look at them, but I think I keep him busy enough.
12-01-2000, 03:04 PM
(just in case) What I meant earlier was that these things sound disgusting..I would never wish to view something so degrading and disrepectful to women...they are not meat..and should be respected for their minds. :rolleyes:
Thinking about how much fun it would be to "respect" Anna Kournikova right now.
12-01-2000, 03:10 PM
Iowa, would that respect include any jewelry?
just thinking of ZZ Tops "she wanna pearl necklace" :D
12-01-2000, 03:10 PM
I don't know...I can't really speak for all women, but even though I do like being respected for my mind, sometimes it is fun to be lusted after. It is a real ego boost. I don't want a guy telling me in bed "Oh Baby you are so smart", I want them saying "Damn you are hot".
[This message has been edited by Bishop's_Girl (edited 12-01-2000).]
12-01-2000, 03:12 PM
lol...very good.....very similar in thought process i guess...
bishops girl....I was teasing...I want a lady at my mama's and a whore in my bed ;) And I too, would like to be treated like a mindless Tarzan of the love lair, once in a while...
12-01-2000, 03:20 PM
You are killing me. <BR>
12-01-2000, 03:21 PM
Oh Baby, your mind, man I get hot just thinking about...the naked brain turns me on...think me baby, think me...think me hard...harder...oh...your so deep....
12-01-2000, 03:21 PM
That is how a girl should behave. I am very respectful infront of our parents, very sweet and innocent, but in our bedroom, Puuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
12-01-2000, 03:23 PM
I do what i can...
I'm hoping to find someone to "respect" tonight...the x is coming tomorrow to try to fix stuff...could be the last night in the life of deuce biggelo.. :)
but i'll probably stay home and play toolman and hang some drywall and cut stuff with loud saws....ar ar ar ar
12-01-2000, 03:25 PM
I found out last night that my so called best friend was "thinking" my ex-girlfriend while we were dating...should I be mad?...
it was a few years ago....hell, I am mad...
12-01-2000, 03:27 PM
Mr. Dole or KCphobia,
Let's hear the bartender story http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif
12-01-2000, 03:28 PM
i think you should "study" his sister, best gal, or something...then call it even...
my pals nailed each other's chicks all of the time....i never took part in that...maybe you should punch his eye shut...some Roy D Mercer, popknots on his head...sing some "jinglefist" to him...
12-01-2000, 03:30 PM
is that "puuuuuurrrrrrrrr" you, or that pocket chainsaw that women deny owning???
12-01-2000, 03:31 PM
BGirl - thanks, I've now chewed my fingernails down to the quick and they are bleeding!!! :D
thank gawd we are on this board and not the censored one
12-01-2000, 03:32 PM
Not that this will necessarily work in your case, dude, but I had a friend who "skinned chickens" with another of my friend's SO.
So the other friend "sang by firelight" with his MOM...too sick, but it worked...
12-01-2000, 03:33 PM
Iowa, the eye thing sounds good...I don't know where his sister lives...
12-01-2000, 03:34 PM
What's wrong with a "massager", before and after? It gets you out of having to do too much work...
12-01-2000, 03:44 PM
htismaqe has a good point. You should always go into battle well armed.
12-01-2000, 03:46 PM
The bartender story is not fit for publication.
12-01-2000, 03:46 PM
WisChief, No, that is Bishop humming to me http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/wink.gif
12-01-2000, 04:00 PM
I don't know WHAT yer talkin' 'bout... :D<BR>
12-01-2000, 04:01 PM
Holy crap! I leave my desk for an hour and THIS is what I see. ;)
By the way, it's more of a bark/growl than a purr.
--I AM a dawg!!!
I need some new 'zines!!!
12-01-2000, 04:01 PM
[This message has been edited by redhed (edited 12-01-2000).]
The bartender story will not be repeated by yours truly. Trust me, you ain't missing anything. Nothing to be told. No story. Nada. I'm sorry I even brought it up.
Dang - Dave - your g/f is making it difficult to work today. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
Morph - that was very kind of you to say. I prolly don't need the mags but I do enjoy looking at the menu sometimes....
12-01-2000, 04:31 PM
Sorry KPhobia. The last thing I want to do is make things difficult ;)<BR>
12-01-2000, 04:36 PM
Thank God for the Cub Scouts, we always had our pack meeting at a friend's house who had an older brother in high school, we'ed sneak upstairs, dig out the Playboys, point & giggle, we were out of control little bastiges, we cursed like sailers, the kids mom, our den mother always threatened to call our moms but never did!
12-01-2000, 04:40 PM
Man we were so jyped in Girl scouts. I just learned how to sew and bake cookies!!!
12-01-2000, 04:57 PM
What are all these women doing in my he-man women hater club sactuary?!?!
KC- if you see a logon Otters_Girl please delete and deny immediatly. This place and trips to the can are all I have left!
12-01-2000, 05:18 PM
Otter, LOL - obviously you do not have kids, because the private time in the $hitter is gone when they get old enuf to walk http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
LMAO - the last 3 or 4 posts in this topic are the funniest yet. Amen to time in the can being interrupted when the kids learn to walk....
It's cool, Bishop's girl - I think you are very funny. I just couldn't handle the innuendo yesterday.
12-02-2000, 08:27 AM
Now this is an interisting topic......
As a kid, I stole them from my dad, and hid them in the garage. As I got older I would "borrow" his Xrated flicks from his collection.
Now as an adult..... I plead the fifth, as the lovely better half reads this BB :D
(just kidding honey)
12-02-2000, 08:55 AM
You are so right about no private time on the can with kids. Last week I was enjoying my new ESPN Mag in the reading room when my 2 year old yells "What you doing in there?"
I respond that I am using the bathroom. She says "Let me see".
I haven't flushed the toilet for 2 months as she thinks that is her job.
12-02-2000, 09:02 AM
How many of you have ever been to a strip club with your wife or girlfriend?<P>
12-02-2000, 09:12 AM
Never beento a strip club with my wife or girlfriend, but I went once with two other guys and one girl. We were all just friends. Really. I swear.
12-02-2000, 09:15 AM
Bricky - I'm about to die laughing right now. Everytime I forget to let my son flush the toilet he SCREAMS his head off and then I have to promise to let him flush it next time.
BTW - why doesn't the stinch get to kids? :D
He can stick his face in the toilet to see "whats in there" and it doesn't bother him. WTF???
12-02-2000, 09:16 AM
LOL funny Bricky!!
No actually I have with the wife a couple of times. She said that she has no problem with it, as one of her close friends used to do dance, and she had been there to with her a couple of times.
Besides wich she would rather that she was with me, as opposed to me going to one by myself. It's always kinda funny, because if we do stop at one, all the guys there get a real wierd look. It's either they are jealous or maybe mad that I brought a wife to a male "sanctuary"<P>
12-02-2000, 09:17 AM
Nice to know I'm not the only one with a wierd child...LOL<P>
12-02-2000, 09:44 AM
I am still laughing. The funniest stuff is the stuff that is true.
Maybe kids don't mind the smell because they are wearing a diaper full of it.
I also have a 9 and a 10 year old. They still bother me when I am in the bathroom. Must be something about being a captive audience.
10 minutes peace, that's all I want<BR>
12-02-2000, 12:02 PM
LOL, You guys are killin me.
You were right, I don't have any kids at this point. My last hiding place invaded!!! I guess I'll have to follow my dad's idea and start building a tool shed at that point.
Isn't it funny how the guys ever so slowly get moved from the house to the garage to tool shed when they want to have a beer, make a mess and be stinky. I used to have a 15' auto-return, putting green (single days) in the middle of my living room now there is a coffee table I'm not allowed to put anything on and a couch that I'm not allowed to sleep on.
Know wonder I always feel confused!
12-02-2000, 12:03 PM
What about after a long road trip w/the kids, you've been holdin off the skwirts for the past 20 miles, you tell the kidz you've got dibs on the crapper, you pull in the drive way, stop the car, and the little bastaiges run and beat you to the $hitter, DAMN I hate that!
12-02-2000, 12:22 PM
Bob Dole thought the kids were supposed to ride in the trunk...
12-02-2000, 12:59 PM
Yea, I've got a crapper downstairs in my basement, but it's TOO Dang cold to sit down there and read for longer than a couple of minutes. Even when I do go down there, my son will yell "daddy, where you be?" I'll keep quite ;), but then I'll hear my wife yell "Christian, he's down stairs in the bathroom!" Then I hear her sniker as I hear him pitter patter down the steps! ARRRGGG! http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif
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