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AustinChief
12-08-2000, 08:44 AM
Just in case anyone missed the other thread where this is posted 80 times.

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 08:50 AM
What a day, Mario Lemieux is now going to be an owner and a player for the Pitt Penguins, rejoining 3 1/2 years after he retired.

Doesn't really want to join in the other thread...

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 08:51 AM
And he's played in how many? I guess without reduncancy I would never have learned how to have sex properly either...<BR>

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 08:52 AM
Joe - And someday you can practice with someone you don't have to pay.

Morphius
That kind of day...

Gaz
12-08-2000, 08:52 AM
LOL

Luzap
12-08-2000, 08:53 AM
Yo, Morph! I scored a PlayStation2 today!

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 08:54 AM
Hey, Morph, I don't have to pay myself....

I figrued you guys needed someone else to smack around besides Crackfan...and since I'm so adept at setting myself up...well hey....**** you all... ;)

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

Gaz
12-08-2000, 08:54 AM
I think I jumped the gun too early this year when I bought a Sega Dreamcast.

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 08:55 AM
You all seem to be forgetting that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

Luzap
12-08-2000, 08:55 AM
Im going to get Madden 2000 for PS2 tonight.

Gaz
12-08-2000, 08:56 AM
Elvis who?

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 08:56 AM
Mr. Dole, Elvis has never had a heart attack and died while taking a **** either....I wonder if anyone bothered to realize that...oops, actually Elvis did...sorry....

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:01 AM
Titus - Pretty cool, getting presents early... Morphius gets discounts from sony through his job, not sure why, but not going to complain. DVD player on the way...

Joe - I thought about going that route with the insult, but I figured as old as you are that you finally had to break down and buy you some.

Luzap
12-08-2000, 09:02 AM
well... we didnt have a choice my wife got the call from one of her operatives at WalMart that they were in and had to run and get it asap.<P>

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:03 AM
Gentlemen, gentlemen...

The point is, that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:04 AM
Titus - I understand, the question is will she let you play with it before Christmas? My wife probably well let me set up the DVD player before xmas.

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:06 AM
Dole - Really? You mean in his 8 years as a starter he has not won a playoff game?

Gaz
12-08-2000, 09:07 AM
Does Elvis own a PS2?

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:08 AM
That's right Morphius. Elvis has been in the league for 8 years and has never won a playoff game. None.

And that ignores the fact that Elvis has never won a playoff game. (Not to mention that Elvis has never won a playoff game.)

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:09 AM
Elvis is holding off on the PS2. Bob Dole heard he's waiting for the check for winning his first playoff game.

ChannonChief
12-08-2000, 09:09 AM
But has Elvis ever won a playoff game on Sony Playstation 2?


Bricky
just wondering

Luzap
12-08-2000, 09:09 AM
Morph: I already have a DVD player complete with the most awesome movie of all time: BRAVEHEART.

Since the suprise is over, she said I could play on it tonight.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 09:09 AM
Morph, a good porn video and I'm set for the night...the cat has to be careful...but she stays away when I'm in a frenzy...the only problem I have is my thumb hurts from hitting the frame advance button so many times....like I said before, can't beat 'em, join 'em...or in this case would it be beat it?....

Does anyone know how many playoff game Elvis has won>?

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:10 AM
Dole - I will guess that in 98, 99 and this season that Grbac will not lose a playoff game either. So three straight years without a playoff loss, not to shabby.

Luzap
12-08-2000, 09:10 AM
Bricky: LOL...sounds like a leap in 'logic' ol' Ken would be famous for.<BR>

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:13 AM
Titus - I procrastinated on the DVD, didn't feel I needed one, but I knew the wife would love it, so...

Snapper
12-08-2000, 09:15 AM
I haven't read all of the other posts, and don't know if anyone else said this...I was just checking stats on nfl.com, and Elvis Grbak hasn't won a playoff game in 8 years in the league....can you believe it?

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:15 AM
Morph,

You bring up a good point. Elvis has won as many playoff games as Gannon and he's lost 3 less than Troy Aikman. Damn, this guy is good.

Editor's note: I just went to SportingNews, and I found that in his 8 years in the league, Elvis has only lost ONE playoff game! He is good...

------------------
Parker
ChiefsPlanet Administrator

[This message has been edited by htismaqe (edited 12-08-2000).]

Chief Joseph
12-08-2000, 09:15 AM
I won a playoff game using Elvis on Playstation 1.

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:18 AM
Joe - So do you actually pay for the porn, or do you just watch the scrambled versions on cable? So does your hand make you sleep on the couch when you fail to please her as well?

Mult9
12-08-2000, 09:19 AM
there are big lies,

there are little lies,

and then there's statistics.

autoxwes
12-08-2000, 09:20 AM
Is Elvis gonna take the boys fishing again this offseason?

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:20 AM
MrBlond - Was that while you were using Grbac, or was that while using Grbac as your QB?

Morphius
Heard the gay rumer from Denise.

autoxwes
12-08-2000, 09:21 AM
Or was that hunt'n

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 09:21 AM
Will Elvis win a playoff game in 2001?

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:22 AM
Hopeful - It should be small, big and Stats, otherwise you are going in reverse order and Stats are less of a lie then small lies.

Morphius
fargen ornery bastige this morning.

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:31 AM
The fact remains, that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

Luzap
12-08-2000, 09:32 AM
What does it all mean Bob Dole? What does it all mean?

PostalChief
12-08-2000, 09:33 AM
Is it true that Elvis has never won a playoff game?

Gaz
12-08-2000, 09:34 AM
I'll bet he won a playoff game in high school.

Just trying to keep the facts straight.

autoxwes
12-08-2000, 09:34 AM
Dammit - wait just a second!!!! Ken said Elvis has never won a playoff game and I believe him - not you-Dole!

PostalChief
12-08-2000, 09:38 AM
I've heard that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

Logical
12-08-2000, 09:40 AM
WHOA!!! Stop everything. Are you telling me that Elvis has never won a playoff game? Wow...who knew?

PostalChief
12-08-2000, 09:42 AM
Whispers from around the league indicate that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:43 AM
What does it all mean, KCTitus?

It means that Elvis has never won a playoff game. After 8 years in the NFL, Elvis has never won a playoff game. Despite his teams record of 5-8, Elvis has never won a playoff game.

You know, the PS2 is a hot item this Christmas, and Elvis has never won a playoff game. As the nation awaits key rulilngs on Gore's appeals, Elvis has never won a playoff game. As violence spills into the streets outside Jerusalem's Old City, Elvis has never won a playoff game. As a Kazakh man who was electrocuted and buried has shocked his friends and family by turning up for his own funeral feast, Elvis has never won a playoff game.

Bob Dole was talking to some people last night during one of the band's breaks, and just had to stop and reflect mid-conversation, realizing that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

It's just that Elvis has never won a playoff game and the Chiefs are 5-8.

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 09:44 AM
I've even heard from Elvis's dad that he may use David Boies to contest our statements and that they should not be construed as having never, ever, without-a-doubt, won a playoff game...<BR>

Chief Joseph
12-08-2000, 09:45 AM
Morphius,

I was playing with Grbac...and I felt so dirty. But the victory made it all better.

Gaz
12-08-2000, 09:46 AM
OK, cut all the crap. Has Elvis really ever won a playoff game? I'm dying to know.

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 09:47 AM
I heard that Elvis never won a playoff game because there weren't enough dimples in the football...<BR>

Snapper
12-08-2000, 09:49 AM
If NCAA college football would have had playoffs for a national championship...It is quite possible that Elvis and DA would have been in a playoff game together at Michigan....therefor, I demand a recount and will protest to the Florida Supreme Court.

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:49 AM
Bob Dole is thinking this new manner of discussion is a lot easier than having to constantly go back and edit messages to ensure consistency with the annoying third-person thing.

(Elvis has never won a playoff game.)

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 09:51 AM
I'm sure the Florida Supreme Court would certainly consider that a bowl game could count for a playoff game under the Florida constitution's "every Grbac has a right to a playoff game" statute...<BR>

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 09:51 AM
MrBlond - LOL!

Morphius
ewwwwwwwwwwwww

Luzap
12-08-2000, 09:51 AM
Thanks Bob Dole, I think every Chiefs fan should pause for a moment of silence today to recognize that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

~waiting for someone to make that their signature~

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 09:53 AM
But did Elvis ever have an album go platinum?

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 09:53 AM
Bob Dole prefers to observe a moment of flatulence when pondering that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 09:54 AM
Hey Morph, I hate you.... ;)

was it a dimpled playoff game or a pregnant playoff game...

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

Chief Joseph
12-08-2000, 10:03 AM
Who knows how many playoff games Elvis Grbac has won? I think its 0 but I can't remember exactly.

Snapper
12-08-2000, 10:05 AM
58,

spoiled playoff game, pregnant cheerleader.

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 10:07 AM
Joe - I still have no idea why you got picked to be the target, but hey how often is it in your life that you have been chosen first?

Morphius
Guessing very few times (and I am an easy guy to hate)

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 10:12 AM
If Elvis has never won a playoff game, then the real mystery is why he goes duck hunting...

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 10:14 AM
The real question is whether or not it is beause Carl can't surround Grbac with the talen needed to win a playoff game, or if it is because Carl signed Grbac proving that Grbac has no talent.

Jeff_000
12-08-2000, 10:17 AM
This report just in from CNN:

(Announcer): There are wide spread rumours spreading throughout the midwest that a certain quarterback for an NFL franchise has never won a playoff game. We now go to Wolf Blitzer for details.
(Wolf): The mood here in the midwest is very nervous and uptight. It seems as though someone has pointed out the fact that Elvis Grbac had never won a playoff game in eight years. This fact was hidden by everyone other than one person identified only as "Packfan." It seems as though this "Packfan" had so much insight into the future that he has declared that Elvis will never win one and will only be "mediocre," at best. This stunning news has shocked everyone here, and no one is sure what will become of either Elvis or Packfan. Back to you.
(Announcer): Thanks Wolf. And don't forget, tonight on Larry King Live, Packfan will be on making more predictions of the future, such as Gannon winning the Presidency on 2012, how facts and stats will be eliminated by the NFL in 2007 and the only thing that will matter is if the person wins a playoff game.

Wow...if CNN and Packfan say it's true, it must be.

MM
~~Knee deep in sarcasm . . . among other things.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 10:19 AM
The butler did it....


Packfan, better known as Deep throat to those who know him best...Favre says so...


[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 10:41 AM
This just in:
Columbus sails the ocean blue
Neil Armstrong lands on the Moon
Jason Witlock is fat.
Bob Dole is REALLY NOT Bob Dole
Joe drives a pink Miatta
Bill Clinton sometimes stretches the truth
Smoking is bad for you
Men have two heads but only enough blood to operate one at a time.
That is why women actually rule the world.

Have I missed anything?<BR>

Luzap
12-08-2000, 10:46 AM
Wait a minute...

You mean to tell me that the Bob Dole on this BB is not THE Bob Dole?

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 10:47 AM
"I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

RCG...hmmm, it does seem like you are missiong something....

Oh, yeah, the North won the Civil War...

Gaz
12-08-2000, 10:47 AM
This Bob Dole types way too fast for only having one real arm.

Yosef_Malkovitch
12-08-2000, 10:50 AM
For those of us who have not had the luxury of "taking the day off" and following this thread in it's entirety...


Has Elvis ever won a playoff game?

mark
********
(snicker)

------------------
KilGore is a noun, not a verb..

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 10:53 AM
Bob Dole has no arms...

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 10:54 AM
Bob Dole can do wonders with that pencil he always carries....

Chief Joseph
12-08-2000, 10:58 AM
Bob Dole has won as many playoff games as Elvis. None. (in case you havent heard)

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 11:00 AM
RCG, you missed that the Chiefs are officially eliminated from playoff contention....

flowergirl
12-08-2000, 11:01 AM
So, what are you guys trying to say?

PostalChief
12-08-2000, 11:02 AM
I have a Chiefs trivia question: How many playoff games has Elvis won?

As a bonus question, list the reasons why not.

flowergirl
12-08-2000, 11:13 AM
Well, let's see. He's won none. Reasons:

Had to try and come back from big deficit Steve Young and co had put them in in Green Bay. But deficit, weather, and bad blocking in Green Bay was too much.

Lost playoff game to Broncos because Manusky gets called for a phantom hold, Gonzo gets pushed out on the TD pass, Marty and Aguiar think the punter is part of RBBC, Hughes or someone kicked the Denver returner after his kickoff return, the penalty sets Denver up at midfield, and they drive for the winning score, Paul Hackett skipped a week of preparation so he could go recruit for a USC program he would ruin in 2 years, Ted Popson refuses to go out of bounds twice, and of course, Elvis' headphones go out and he struggles to get the team together and his last pass gets knocked away.

Freakin' Donks...

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 11:18 AM
Oh yeah,
Morph is on PETA’s hit list for giving his cats a ride on his motorcycle sans helmet. <BR>

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 11:19 AM
Bob Dole just returned from lunch, and Elvis still has not won a playoff game.

(And what was the tip-off, KCTitus?)

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 11:20 AM
On curvy roads no less

Luzap
12-08-2000, 11:22 AM
Well, besides #64, the fact that Elvis hasnt won a playoff game is the main clue that you are not THE Bob Dole.

flowergirl
12-08-2000, 11:25 AM
I demand a recount! I believe two bowl wins should qualify as playoff victories. Technically, College Football does not have a playoff system. But the intent was clearly there, and had it been termed "playoffs" it would have been a playoff victory...

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 11:29 AM
Sorry Sco,,, errr Bob looks Like I let the Cat out of the bag. Now I won’t be trusted with all the inside information. Hey, I just got a cup of coffee has Elvis won a playoff game yet, or do I have to go to the bathroom first?

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 11:33 AM
You must check to see if you've had a $hit hemorrhage and then you'll know if Elvis has won a playoff game...<BR>

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 11:36 AM
You might as well go ahead and take a dump, RGC, since Elvis has never won a playoff game.

Sure...go ahead and tell people Bob Dole's real name. What a pal.

Quarterback
12-08-2000, 11:36 AM
Senator, in three weeks you are going to have to start another thread to update everyone.


Anyway we can work the 8th year in the league mantra into this?

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 11:36 AM
Bob Dole's real name is Joey Buttafucco?<BR>

Luzap
12-08-2000, 11:39 AM
Good point, Stevieray...

8-veteran Elvis has not won a playoff game.<P>

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 11:43 AM
Where the hell did that come from, Fly?

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 12:05 PM
Rod is sorry that he may have somehow compromised the secret identity of our one-armed defender of all that is good. Rod is hanging his head in shame and as penance will type in third person today. Rod is actually Rod’s name, not just his Bar name.

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 12:15 PM
Fly has been drinking too much!!!! Sorry!
:eek:<BR>

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 12:34 PM
As well Rod should be ashamed.

Perhaps it is also Rod's fault that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 12:36 PM
Elvis never won a playoff game because I stopped my ritual... http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/frown.gif

Logical
12-08-2000, 12:38 PM
Shame on you Rod! What were you thinking?!


--Shannon--

PS--Did you know that Elvis has never won a playoff game? Strange, but true.

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 12:41 PM
Joe,

Technically what you do is not a "ritual", it's a "habit."

:D

------------------
Parker
[b]ChiefsPlanet Administrator</B>

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 12:51 PM
Rod is sorry for Rods transgressions. Rod humbly asks for the forgiveness from all those offended by Rod. Rod also accepts the blame for Elvis’s failure to win a playoff game. Rod somehow feels it must be Rods fault. Perhaps Rod dropped the post-it-note, errrr uhhhh Chiefs Playbook and it fell into the wrong hands. Rod can see no other possibility to explain the un-canny ability of the Chiefs opponents to anticipate the Chiefs offensive play calling.

------------------
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 12:54 PM
htis, an habitual ritual...my cat thinks it's a ritual... :eek:

Still leaves the fact that Elvis has never won a playoff game...really, it's true, never...

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

Logical
12-08-2000, 12:58 PM
Little late to be asking forgiveness, dont ya think Rod? I mean, if not for you, Elvis wouldn't be an 8th year quarterback without a playoff win.

--Shannon--

Quarterback
12-08-2000, 01:02 PM
Stevieray thinks Rod should do some Self reflecting, in the third person, of course.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 01:03 PM
What companies employ you people...I want to be sure to never do business with them since it appears that no one works around here...

BTW, Elvis has never won a playoff game, but he did have a heart attack on the toilet...

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 01:30 PM
RCG - I have no idea what you are talking about...

http://morphiustech.homestead.com/files/catinhelm.jpg

Morphius
OK, bad quality pic...

Luzap
12-08-2000, 01:33 PM
100

~KCTitus reclaiming his rightful place as the king of double 00 posts~

[owner of post #2000 on the largest thread on the previous bb]

[This message has been edited by KCTitus (edited 12-08-2000).]

ChannonChief
12-08-2000, 01:33 PM
How does this topic about nothing get over 100 hits?

BTW Elvis has never won a playoff game

One Arrowhead Dave
12-08-2000, 01:34 PM
Nothing to add. Just wanted #100.

xoxo~
gaz
has never won a playoff game.

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 01:44 PM
Morph- Rod thinks that is too funny

Rod is reflecting and Rod has asked for forgiveness. Rod thinks “ Smell the people” should not be so un-forgiving and jaded at such a young age. Rod grows weary of Rods self imposed punishment of typing in 3rd person. Rod wonders if Bob Dole finds himself talking in 3rd person in real life?

If Rod recalls correctly, Joe works for the Government, so Rod thinks Joe is slacking on OUR time. Rod thinks it must be Joe's fault that Elvis has not won a playoff game.<BR>

ColoradoChief
12-08-2000, 01:47 PM
Rod - I found it damn funny that you wold say something about that, and that I actually have some pictures of the cat in a Shoei on my computer. I'm never that lucky.

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 01:57 PM
The reason Elvis hasn't won a playoff game is because he hasn't shaved his cat's butt hair...<BR>

Luzap
12-08-2000, 01:58 PM
LMAO @ Fly...I got some strange looks from co-workers after that guffaw.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 02:03 PM
Joe does work for the gubment, but joe sues people for back taxes so joe thinks that some of you might not care if joe slacks off...joe would like all your SSNs so he can check you out on his gubment PC...

Elvis didn't pay his taxes so Joe thinks that's why he hasn't won a playoff game...

------------------
joe

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 02:04 PM
Bob Dole often finds himself holding a pen and speaking in a strange voice in the third person.

The people who work with Bob Dole give Bob Dole some funny looks, but Bob Dole refuses to explain himself.

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 02:12 PM
KCTitus, as you probably surmised, I don't have any cats... Something about those electric shears I keep around for strays...

Still, even with electric shears, Elvis has never won a playoff game...<BR>

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 02:15 PM
Joe also thinks that Rod is revealing secrets that are better left unsaid and Joe demands the same apology afforded Mr. Dole... :mad: ;)

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-08-2000).]

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 02:17 PM
Bob Dole didn't realize Joe was even employed.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 02:18 PM
Working for the gubment is like being unemployed...so I can see how Mr. Dole could come to that conclusion...

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 02:31 PM
Bob Dole was afraid that the topic was dropping too far and people might forget that Elvis has never won a playoff game, has been in the league 8 years, QBs a team with a 5-8 record, and died ono the toilet.

Milissa
12-08-2000, 02:34 PM
my pc locked up and i had to reboot...has elvis won a playoff game yet?
sec

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 02:34 PM
Joe,
Rod thinks typing in 3rd person is punishment enough for Rods transgressions. Rod wonders what type of penance would be required to ease Joe’s pain. Rod wonders if it would entail driving a pink Miatta full of cats.
Bob- Rod wonders if he has paid enough or if Rod must continue in 3rd person for the rest of the day?<BR>

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 02:36 PM
at a cost of $10 mil, and covering a time frame of over 8 years...the government released the results of their latest study...Elvis has not won a playoff game...

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 02:37 PM
Fly
Rod wonders if the Hair on Elvis’s butt is parted on the wrong side. That could be why Elvis has not won a playoff game in 8 years.<BR>

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 02:37 PM
Rod must let the cats drive....

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 02:42 PM
Bob Dole thinks Rod should continue his attempt to walk in Bob Dole's shoes, until Rod admits that it's harder than Rod thought it would be.

PostalChief
12-08-2000, 02:56 PM
The name of this topic is "Elvis has never won a playoff game".

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 02:57 PM
The reason Elvis has never won a playoff game is because he glued cat butthair on for a beard...<BR>

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 02:59 PM
Rod thinks Bob is ungrateful in that Rod is the one who started the Topic containing the Bastard line that Bob is reaping the benefits from this very evening. Rod is starting to feel dumb as a Palm Beach Democrat for his self-imposed penance. <BR>

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 03:04 PM
Bob Dole said "thanks." How does Rod spin that and come up with "ungrateful?"

(Bob Dole thinks that perhaps Rod has been watching too much CNN coverage of the Florida Circus.)

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 03:04 PM
Rod can borrow my electric shears and go find every dimpled, yet not counted, cat butt in Palm Beach County, and shave them for penance...<BR>

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 03:07 PM
Bob Dole thinks the Fly needs to seek some professional help for his cat @ss obsession.

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 03:09 PM
Rod must have been Confused by the post. With so many vowels and consents it is like trying to follow the arrows. Rod thinks he knows a gal whom would find the “ Shirt is becoming” line humorous.

[This message has been edited by RCGChief (edited 12-08-2000).]

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 03:10 PM
Sorry I just can't help myself today... I feel like a Florida Supreme Court justice! http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/tongue.gif

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 03:12 PM
"Vowels and consents?"

Bob Dole guesses you're already assuming that the pickup line will be a success and she'll consent.

Bob Dole just looked on ESPN.com and found that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

[This message has been edited by Robert_Dole (edited 12-08-2000).]

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 03:18 PM
Did you know Elvis never won a playoff game? But in college...

Was the most successful quarterback in the storied history of Michigan football . . . As a four-year starter, he established school career records for pass attempts (835), completions (522), completion percentage (64.3ü passing yards (6,460), touchdown passes (71), 200-yard games (14) and efficiency rating (148.1) . . . Is the only Michigan QB to lead the Wolverines to two bowl victories (''93 Rose and ''91 Gator) . . . In ''91 as a junior, he led the nation with a 169.0 passer efficiency rating while tossing 19 TD passes to Desmond Howard (Raiders), who won the Heisman Trophy that season . . . He and Howard own the NCAA record for most touchdowns by the same passer and receiver in a career (31) and single season (19) . . . Also led the nation with a 150.18 rating as a senior in ''92 . . . During his final three seasons, the Wolverines did not finish below seventh in the final AP poll . . . Led Michigan to four first place finishes in the Big 10 and was 22-2-2 (.857) as a starter in conference games . . . His only two Big 10 losses were each by a single point.
http://sports.nfl.com/2000/playerhighlights?id=908 <BR>

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 03:18 PM
I have to go home in a few minutes...will Elvis have won a playoff game by then?...

As of 4:20 P.M., CST, December 8, 2000, Elvis has not won a playoff game....

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 03:24 PM
You have to go home?

You mean, even your employer tells you to go away?

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 03:27 PM
LOL
Rod Kant tipe
Rod hopes it was a premonition not just poor keyboard skills.

Rod tips his hat to the Senator. Typing 3rd person is stranger than he thought.

------------------
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."

kc hopeful
12-08-2000, 03:34 PM
Speaking of can’t type one of the gals I work with sent me an e-mail pertaining the “ incontinence” of one of out employees.

Not really what she wanted to say.

AustinChief
12-08-2000, 03:38 PM
She's probably pretending it was a mistake, but doesn't like the other employee and did it intentionally.

KC Jones
12-08-2000, 03:41 PM
Have (hav; before "to" haf) vt...to express obligation or necessity (Ex. we have to go.)

KCWolfman
12-08-2000, 05:10 PM
I've heard a rumor that Elvis has never met Shakes the Cat... Is it true?<BR>

AustinChief
12-09-2000, 07:01 AM
Not to belabor the point, but Bob Dole just finished over 30 minutes of net research and has discovered that Elvis has been in the league for 8 years and has never won a playoff game.

KCWolfman
12-09-2000, 10:12 AM
True. True. Have a Bud...<BR>

AustinChief
12-09-2000, 10:23 AM
The Bud(s) will happen tomorrow. Bob Dole typically (but not always) doesn't drink Bob Dole's preferred beverage on Saturday.

Rest assured, however, that Bob Dole will be consuming a number of amber nectars tomorrow while watching Elvis further his pusuit of never having won a playoff game.

PostalChief
12-09-2000, 10:30 AM
I assume that everyone here is aware of the fact that Elvis has never won a playoff game. If not, you've just been informed.

Quarterback
12-09-2000, 10:31 AM
And to think, in two weeks it will be NINE!

Go Elvis!

KCWolfman
12-09-2000, 12:40 PM
I was just out Christmas shopping and none of the bellringers knows whether Elvis has ever won a playoff game!<BR>

AustinChief
12-09-2000, 03:44 PM
Bob Dole was just watching the Fly II, and noticed that when Martin Brundel was interacting with the computer in one scene, the monitor read "Elvis has never won a playoff game." Bizarre but true.

KCWolfman
12-09-2000, 04:10 PM
I was at a Father-Son soccer game and all of the boys were wondering why Elvis had never won a playoff game...<BR>

AustinChief
12-09-2000, 04:48 PM
How did your dad think you played?

And Bob Dole was just watching the history of The Fly movies, which mentioned the Red Scare of the 50's and the Aids Scare in the early 80's, but stopped short of mentioning that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

KCWolfman
12-09-2000, 05:06 PM
If my dad were alive he probably would have asked why Elvis has never won a playoff game...

AustinChief
12-09-2000, 05:10 PM
Bob Dole was certain that everybody knew why Elvis has never won a playoff game.

Bob Dole's understanding is that Lamar Hunt only cares about filling seats and Carl Peterson is an idiot.

KCWolfman
12-09-2000, 05:16 PM
That is EXACTLY what my dad (RIP 1998) thought about Lamar. He figured he would never see another Super Bowl because of Carl and Lamar filling stadiums instead of championships...

And he never saw Elvis win a playoff game either!<BR>

AustinChief
12-10-2000, 06:50 AM
It's Sunday morning and Bob Dole is watching ESPN. They've commented (regarding Tampa) that a running back can't get in a groove if he's coming in and out of the game and gets fewer than 25 carries. Bob Dole is still waiting for them to mention that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

kcmax
12-10-2000, 06:52 AM
Last night made it official: Elvis never won the Heisman trophy(but one of his teammates did).

Quarterback
12-10-2000, 08:49 AM
Still no playoffs? Damn.

Thanks for adapting "Mazmerized"....

AustinChief
12-10-2000, 09:02 PM
Today's game still leaves Elvis without a playoff win.

kc hopeful
12-11-2000, 08:10 AM
While I’m no longer typing in 3rd person, it seems that Elvis has still not won a playoff game.

KC Jones
12-11-2000, 08:12 AM
You mean I spent a whole weekend away and Elvis still hasn't won a playoff game?

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 11:36 AM
With all of the other discussion, it should not be forgotten that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

KCWolfman
12-11-2000, 11:40 AM
The US Supreme Court questions why Elvis has never won a playoff game...

Gaz
12-11-2000, 12:00 PM
I thought the Carolina game was a playoff game. Sucks being Elvis.

kc hopeful
12-11-2000, 12:32 PM
Just went out to warm up my car, Did Elvis win a playoff game while I was gone?

Snapper
12-11-2000, 12:34 PM
I think Someone should request that David Letterman develope a "top 10" list of reasons that Elvis hasn't won a playoff game.

I'll start.
1.Jon Baker
2.Pete Stoyonovich
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Luzap
12-11-2000, 12:37 PM
#1 RBBC
#2 Run it and play Defense philosphy
#3 McGlockton (For Clint)
#4 Gannon (He made EG nervous)
#5 Marty Shottenheimer
#6 Jimmy Raye
#7 Gunther Cunningham
#8 Kurt Schottenheimier
#9 Inability to run down into the endzone to high five his reciever who just caught a TD
#10 Interceptions

KCWolfman
12-11-2000, 12:58 PM
Boies is arguing that Elvis has won a playoff game because of the intention to win a playoff game!

Klock is arguing that Elvis cannot win a playoff game since the rules states your team must make the playoffs first!

Supreme Court is now deliberating...
;)<P>

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 01:14 PM
Went to the auto supply store at lunch and overheard a conversation regarding the fact that Elvis has never won a playoff game.

(Bob Dole apparently has absolutely no aversion to beating a dead horse.)

Luzap
12-11-2000, 01:23 PM
Bob Dole will only need to do this for about...oh....2 more years before he even aproaches the beaten horse of Fluffy.

Snapper
12-11-2000, 02:28 PM
just a end of day reminder...Even though it is snowing and cold, and I've done recount..Elvis has still not won a playoff game...nor have Rich Gannon or Myself.

KC Jones
12-11-2000, 02:45 PM
It's too close to call...at least 5 of the 9 Justices concur that Elvis has never won a playoff game, but 4 are waivering...of course if one of the 5 doesn't change his opinion, I guess Elvis will end the day without having won a playoff game...

\

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 02:48 PM
*Doing his best Trebek*

Games Grbac hasn't won for $400.00

Answer: A playoff game


Frame your answer in the form of a question.

Luzap
12-11-2000, 02:54 PM
What was the 1997 divisional playoff game where KC lost to Denver 14-10?

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 03:10 PM
Gregg - You are correct. Less than a minute left in the round.

KC Jones
12-11-2000, 03:12 PM
Wolf, I mean Alex:

What is a playoff game?

give me my money....

[This message has been edited by 58Forever (edited 12-11-2000).]

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 03:25 PM
That sounded nothing like Trebec, Wolfie.

(But that doesn't change the fact that Elvis has never been on the winning end of a playoff game in which he played.)

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 03:28 PM
Joe - Good Job, but Gregg rang in earlier.... However, keep in mind your answer as I am sure it will fit into final jeopardy as well.

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 03:30 PM
Bob - My 'John Wayne' is even worse.....

Admitting my loss in not receiving the Rich Little genes I ordered.


I guess some of us are better at pretending to be famous figures than others.... (Geez, the season is so bad, I have resorted to trading smack with a like minded fan).

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 03:35 PM
In addition to Bob Dole, Bob Dole also does a great Shields and Yarnell impression.

KC Jones
12-11-2000, 03:37 PM
Wolf, I protest, I demand a recount...I'm taking it too the Supreme Court...by time I'm finished I'll have my $400.00 and Elvis will have his playoff win...

What is a playoff game?...should be the correct answere...not specifically which playoff game...just a playoff game...this game is rigged...I'm going to talk to Regis about this...

Elvis still has not won a playoff game.

Yosef_Malkovitch
12-11-2000, 03:41 PM
Just thought I would let everyone know before I head off to play a little Par-3 night golf here, where the weather is overcast, but still 52 degrees, that as far as I know:

Elvis has still not won a playoff game(but i won a playoff game in a ping pong tournament once, does that make me an All-Pro?)

mmaddog
****************

[This message has been edited by Mark Kilgore (edited 12-11-2000).]

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 04:56 PM
Mr DOle - What scares me is that I remember Shields and Yarnell's variety show (how can mime be variety?) and several guest appearances on Mork and Mindy. Thank you for opening childhood traumas once again.

Joe - YOu are starting to remind me of Cliff Claven on the episode of Cheers when he makes it to Jeopardy and loses because although he had a correct answer, he had an answer Alex wasnt looking for... You dont work for the Post Office, do you?

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 04:57 PM
MMaddog - Careful with the ping pong thing. I won county and district spelling bee. Although it did not make me an All-Pro, several of my closest friends referred to me as 'nerdlinger' for some time.

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 05:06 PM
You are welcome for the memories, Nerdlinger.

(Bob Dole's mother used to force a young Bob Dole to watch that thing... Bob Dole firmly believes she should be punished.)

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 05:08 PM
Nerdlinger??? At least both my arms work....

LOL

That Dole is getting crotchety in his latter years.

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 05:15 PM
Bob Dole is no more crotchety than in the past. It's just now that Bob Dole has realized that Elvis has never won a playoff game, Bob Dole is more demonstrative.

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 05:40 PM
Touche' Bob.... I just hope you get this all out in the off-season. Or else I am afraid like turkey at Thanksgiving, you will run out of ways to serve it.

htismaqe
12-11-2000, 05:48 PM
WHAT??????????????

Hey wolfman, I bet Sean LaChappell could have!

(sorry coudn't help it)
:D

[This message has been edited by JOhn (edited 12-11-2000).]

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 06:24 PM
Bob Dole hopes that Bob Dole is given no reason to be demonstrative during the 2001 regular season.

As for the turkey variations: Bob Dole avoided that problem this year by buying a loaf of bread and .5 pounds of roast beef to celebrate Thanksgiving.<BR>

AustinChief
12-11-2000, 08:05 PM
JOhn - I am not letting her read that comment. LOL

KCWolfman
12-11-2000, 08:57 PM
Jesse Jackson says, "We will take to the streets right now, we will delegitimize Gunther, discredit him, do whatever it takes, but never accept him because he has not let Elvis win a playoff game!"
http://www.drudgereport.com/jes.htm