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AustinChief
08-31-2000, 07:19 PM
Anybody out there? It seems kinda slow tonight...

http://www.ChiefsPlanet.com/ubb/eek.gif

ddpatterson
08-31-2000, 07:21 PM
I'm here for ya buddy.

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Red Eyes
[i]Chinn Up, it ain't nothin' but a thang.</I>

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 07:35 PM
I don't think we got many of the night people from the other BB, which makes it kind of slow here at night.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 07:36 PM
What, no Bob Dole?
No Tracy?
No Injun?<BR>

lmiller
08-31-2000, 07:38 PM
George,
I'm here too. Kicking back with a marguarita that b-squared helped me concoct. Mmm mmm.
A few more of these and you might notice some slurring in my typing. (G)

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Not disgruntled....yet.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 07:39 PM
Hey Al, how you doing?

milkman
08-31-2000, 07:45 PM
I'm here. Hot and bored, tired of waiting, predicting and speculating, ready for some football.

Funny thing is, I'll probably miss the first game. Going to Niagara Falls this weekend. Oh well, there's always SportsCenter highlights.

Mosbonian
08-31-2000, 07:47 PM
Been Lurking,

Not much worth posting on tonight so far.

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Jim Reynolds
Please no squiggles in my discussion zone!

sd4chiefs
08-31-2000, 07:48 PM
I'm here too. I'm just watching the Auburn/Wyoming game getting ready to see my Sun Devils play SDSU. I love football!

What do you guys think about the rumored uniform changes?



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AZChief

Remember Kansas City's hero, Joe Delaney #37.

ddpatterson
08-31-2000, 07:52 PM
There are some speculatig that they will be going back to the red pants. Unlike many others, I liked them. I've never been fond of the white.

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Red Eyes
[i]Chinn Up, it ain't nothin' but a thang.</I>

Mosbonian
08-31-2000, 07:55 PM
AzChief,

Just finished a masters at SDSU so I guess I am a SDSU Alum. Not really much of a Aztecs fan but what the heck I'll root against your Sun Devils. http://www.ChiefsPlanet.com/ubb/wink.gif

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Jim Reynolds
Please no squiggles in my discussion zone!

[This message has been edited by Logical (edited 08-31-2000).]

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 07:56 PM
I just hope they don't look bad, but I'm interested to see. Though I still want the arrowhead on the jersey.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 08:04 PM
Morph,
Doing just fine. A buddy of mine has season tickets and I'll be down there on the 3rd. I'm truly stoked for this game as I haven't seen a live game since the 94' Chiefs/Niners game. This is going to be tough since I don't have Sat. or Sun. night off. Guess I'll have to get my sleep on the car ride there and back. It's all about committment.

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Not disgruntled....yet.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 08:04 PM
So did everybody get a chance to look at the "Chiefs News and Commentary" topic and voice your opinion? If so, I'll leave it open until after this weekend and start implementing it next week.

BTW We've (two of my buddies actually) almost finished the Planet Picks section.
*hopefully* it'll be done by tomorrow...if nothing else it should be done enough to allow you to eneter picks...and we'll finish the tracking portion up over the weekend.

-Kyle

ddpatterson
08-31-2000, 08:09 PM
What's this Planet Picks section going to be?
Hope it's picking winners for the games. I was away from the board for a couple of days and apparently missed out on the chance to pick in a place that only had 50 spots avaiable.

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Red Eyes
[i]Chinn Up, it ain't nothin' but a thang.</I>

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 08:12 PM
Milkman

Yep ...that's it. I've got two buddies working furiously to finish it in time. I'll keep everybody posted throughout the day tomorrow.

BTW It doesn't have a limit on users...it uses the same login as the BBS so anybody who logs into the BBS can use PlanetPicks.

--Kyle<BR>

ddpatterson
08-31-2000, 08:19 PM
Alright, cool. http://www.ChiefsPlanet.com/ubb/cool.gif

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Red Eyes
[i]Chinn Up, it ain't nothin' but a thang.</I>

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 08:20 PM
Al - Teehee, I'm going to Omaha this weekend.

milkman
08-31-2000, 08:22 PM
Omaha? Ick. I think I'll stick with Niagara Falls....

lmiller
08-31-2000, 08:25 PM
Morph,
How's that for irony? (G) We'll catch a game up here sooner or later. Maybe we can drag Gerken out when we play the Donks.

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Not disgruntled....yet.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 08:29 PM
Tim,
Now how could you possibly say a thing like that? What is it about Omaha that you don't like? Just curious.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 08:33 PM
Def Omaha - Noun. Basically Kansas City with nothing to do.

Fraz - I have family up there, and they do get to watch all the Chiefs games.

milkman
08-31-2000, 08:36 PM
Well, I guess Omaha is okay if you like desolation and corn. That's about all I remember from driving through there last year (as quickly as possible on the way to Wyoming).

Of course, I'm sure its better than Chicago, but certainly not better than Niagara. The falls are really cool - they live up to the hype.

milkman
08-31-2000, 08:46 PM
Geez, I didn't realize rankin' out Omaha would kill the thread. I'm sure its a lovely place, really.

Besides, I did grow up in the country. Have earned the right to poke fun at desolation and corn!

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 08:53 PM
fraz - endearing nicknames for Omaha: OmaGawd, Omahell, and omahole

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:02 PM
Nice. That reminds me of a comedian talking about Des Moines once. He said "Des Moines" is a French phrase meaning "void of life." That really cracked me up.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 09:03 PM
Fraz - Heck, people from Omaha make fun of Des Moines.

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:09 PM
I got used to making fun of Iowa in general. When I lived in Kirksville, which is 30 miles from the Iowa border, it was a favorite pasttime (not much else to do, believe me). We called them "Iowegans." Never saw it spelled out until just spelled it, but it was pronounced "eye-WEE-juns."

I assume they had an equally disdainful name for us Missourians, but I never found out what it was.

Favorite Iowa joke - why can't Iowegans make Koolaid? Because they can't figure out how to fit two quarts of water in the little package.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 09:11 PM
Morph and Tim,
Surely, you both know that Omaha beats living in Iowa. You know what Iowa stands for, right? Idiots Out Walking Around. I Owe the World an Apology. C'mon Morph, you're the native here, can you help me? Good schools, low unemployment, right?

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Not disgruntled....yet.

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:13 PM
Iowa.... where men are men.... and sheep are scared!

BAAAAAAAAA!

lmiller
08-31-2000, 09:20 PM
The funniest thing this guy at work showed me was the new Iowa quarter. I told him that it's not due until 2004, but he pulled it out of his pocket and threw it to me. It was two dimes glued to both sides of a nickel. I thought I was going to die laughing. Still chuckle everytime I think about it. (G)

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Not disgruntled....yet.

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:24 PM
That's classic! Time to break out the glue and spare change...

lmiller
08-31-2000, 09:28 PM
Geez, I hope Ortmann and the rest of the Iowa boys don't read this one. I could be in trouble.

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Not disgruntled....yet.

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:30 PM
Uh-oh! How many Iowegans have we got out there?

lmiller
08-31-2000, 09:37 PM
If your wife yells "Can you please take the transmission out of the tub so I can take a bath", you just might be an Iowegan. (G)

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Not disgruntled....yet.

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:41 PM
If your wife doesn't bathe, you might be an Iowegan!

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 09:42 PM
Sorry, the wife called. Al, I'm from KC, only lived in Omaha ten years. Of course the first description I heard of about Omaha was that the women were stuck up, but the sheep are good. SBT.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 09:43 PM
One more.
If you write your congressman demanding that "Freebird" should become the National Anthem, you might be an Iowegan. (G)

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:45 PM
I get one more, too.

If you go to a family reunion to look for a date.... you MIGHT be an Iowegan!

Enough ripping off Foxworthy.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 09:48 PM
Postal - Actually I grew up with blasts against Kentucky....

Why did the University of Ky go to astroturf? To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.

Did you hear about the new zoo Indiana is making? They are putting a fence around Kentucky.

Why did the kentuckian build the bridge to Indiana? So he could swim over in the shade.

Why did auto makers move the bright switch from the turn signal back to the floorboards for all cars sold in Kentucky? Because too many kentuckians were getting their feet caught in the steering wheel.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 09:50 PM
Morph,
Let me be one of the first to congratulate you on your impending fatherhood. It will be one of the greatest experiences of your life watching your child being born. You will be in the delivery room, right?

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Not disgruntled....yet.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 09:50 PM
If driving anything faster then 65 is WAY too fast for your brain to be able to handle, then you just my be from iowa.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 09:52 PM
Al - I plan to be in the room, but will not cut the chord, too much of a wuss.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 09:57 PM
Russ,
LOL, you have to wonder why all of those Kentuckians stand motionless and affixed to the orange juice section of the grocery store? CONCENTRATE, Get it?

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Not disgruntled....yet.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 09:58 PM
50 kentuckians are standing on the shore of the Ohio River. They see a lone Hoosier sitting on the other side.

The leader says, "Hey, I hate Hoosiers, let's go over and teach him a lesson. Half of us will spook him out and the other half can come over after we get started on him."

So half go over and a huge fog settles in. The other 25 wait for an hour and nothing happens. Finally, the ones left behind get anxious and row over through the fog. When they almost reach the shore, they see their friends remains floating in the water.... an arm here, a head there.... bodies ripped to shreds. Finally one raises out of the water and cries, "Go back!!! There's two of them!!!"

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Puttin' on my game face!

milkman
08-31-2000, 09:58 PM
Definite ick on that. Don't know what I'll do when the time comes. Remember the good old days when expectant fathers passed out cigars in the waiting room? Perhaps I'll take the nostalgic route.

And if I haven't already said so, congratulations, Morph.<P>

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:04 PM
Fraz - Thanks, it is still many months away. Which is a good thing, Grandma is buying tons of stuff for us. She is pretty excited about it. For it being completely unplanned I'm pretty excited about it.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:05 PM
Man that run by the Auburn guy was power running at it's best, gez.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 10:07 PM
Morph,
I don't want to hear your wussy BS. You have to cut the cord. Plain and simple. If you don't, we will dog you out. Unrelentlessly! Got it?!

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Not disgruntled....yet.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 10:09 PM
I "ran the chute" on all three of my kids.

First one on the planet to welcome them from the womb to the real world.....

milkman
08-31-2000, 10:09 PM
Stop it! I just ate, for God's sake.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:13 PM
I have trouble with images getting stuck in my head, and there is no way I could 'run the chute'. Cutting the chord I probably could do, but have NO urge to do that whatsoever.

Al - I can deal with it, I'm afraid of heights to and can take crap about that as well.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 10:22 PM
Tim - LOL, actually to make it a little worse - The afterbirth is a great deal like a bright blue playdoh....

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 10:25 PM
Morph - No fear of heights either, I have skydived and loved every second....

The only fear I have is of Nuns with chalk or rulers in their hands.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 10:27 PM
I was there for both my kids' births. Doctor did the catching and the cutting. I did the watching and then the holding. It was both "wonderful" and "sickening" all at the same time.

The best part was the french fry pan where they keep the kids warm while they do the measuring, blood samples, etc...

http://www.ChiefsPlanet.com/ubb/smile.gif

milkman
08-31-2000, 10:28 PM
Thanks, Russ. If my play-doh days weren't long since behind me, they sure as hell would be after THAT.

Ick ick ick

lmiller
08-31-2000, 10:29 PM
Russ,
LMAO! Let's not freak them out too much. Morph, when the doctor asks you to help with the placenta extraction, just close your eyes and pull GENTLY!

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Not disgruntled....yet.

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 10:30 PM
French fry pan?!?!?! LMAO.

George, You are right. Only a woman could call a newborn beautiful. As wonderful as it was you get the impression that the thing is a horrible mix between an old man with no teeth and a Sigourney Weaver alien bursting from a live 'carrier'.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:34 PM
Russ - I could probably sky dive, bt have yet to figure out why. It probably would not bother me much till I get close to landing. I have no fear of flight and love the window seats.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:37 PM
Al - I would jsut look at the doctor and say, "No, but thanks for asking".

Russ - That was too funny of a description of a newborn.

milkman
08-31-2000, 10:37 PM
I'd like to try skydiving, too. It's on my life "to do" list. Can't say how I'd react staring out the open door before jumping, but I'm typically pretty fearless in situations like that. I'm also a bit insane - that really helps!

AustinChief
08-31-2000, 10:41 PM
Tim - I did it out of a small plane. Instead of jumping, I had to sit and put my feet outside the door. At the right moment (10,000 ft) I was told to place my feet on the bottom (outside) of the plane and push off. The primal urge to grab that elusive tree branch is very hard to fight back.

milkman
08-31-2000, 10:46 PM
I'll bet it is. Another opportunity for me to recite my favorite movie quote: "Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft is not a natural act." (Eastwood from Heartbreak Ridge)

I think I can pull it off, though. My best friend has skydived, and I'll probably go with him if I ever decide to do it. The thought of him busting my balls for the rest of my life if I chickened out would certainly override any fear I'd have.

lmiller
08-31-2000, 10:48 PM
Morph,
I guess as long as you get to see your baby being born up close and personal is good enough. We'll be here to listen to what a joy it was afterwards. You'll be welcomed into our fatherly fraternity.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:51 PM
Al - It should be an expierience, and I will surly tell you all.

Fraz - So you having no problem gutting a dear, but seeing a baby born bothers you?

Yosef_Malkovitch
08-31-2000, 10:51 PM
Alright you bastards! Born in KC, grew up (18 yrs) in Iowa and - might I add, I'm a moderator.... http://www.ChiefsPlanet.com/ubb/mad.gif

I'll give y'all about 20 minutes to edit all those Iowa jokes and change 'em to Idaho or Ohio or I'm gonna - uh - ..... well, I'll think of something!!!

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:54 PM
Klosters from Iowa, <font size=-2> and things become clearer as if a <font color=yellow>light</font> has been turned on.</font>

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 10:55 PM
Sweet! That worked, like this BB.

milkman
08-31-2000, 10:56 PM
Oh God! AN IOWEGAN MODERATOR!

I wish you could see how hard I'm laughing right now.

Iowegan Pilot: "I can't land on this runway! Look how short it is!"

Iowegan Co-pilot: "Sure is wide, though!"

lmiller
08-31-2000, 10:59 PM
Phil,
If'n you talk the talk, you better walk the walk. Any Nebraska jokes?

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Not disgruntled....yet.

milkman
08-31-2000, 11:03 PM
And Morph, in reference to your child birth-deer gutting analogy, its not the idea of the birth, but the process of watching the baby come out of my beloved BNC.

I wouldn't be expected to sleep with the deer afterwards....

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 11:03 PM
Al - I'll try one, though admitingly probably not very good.

Nebraskans are so stupid that they have to go to a 4 year university to learn how to husk corn.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 11:05 PM
Fraz - I'm staying up by my wife's face the entire time, otherwise I would never be able to look down there the same way again, ewwwwwwww.

milkman
08-31-2000, 11:06 PM
My point exactly. Ick ick ick ick ick!

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 11:09 PM
Fraz - OK, then we see it the same way, or in this case we don't see this the same way.

Yosef_Malkovitch
08-31-2000, 11:09 PM
I don't really have any Nebraska jokes but I did hear about an Iowa scam the other day:

Seems this old fella was offering cruises from his roadside vegetable stand. 4 days, 3 nights - $99.

The Hawkeye walks up, drops $99 and the old fella raps him on the head, ties him up and drops him in the Missouri river.

A Husker approaches the same old fella, pays his $99, gets knocked in the head, tied up and dumped in the Missouri.

The Hawkeye & Husker are floating down the river and the not so bright Hawkeye (not realizing he'd been scammed), said, "hey, do you think they serve food on this cruise?"

The Husker looked over, smiled, and said,.....

"Well, they didn't last year".............

[This message has been edited by KPhobia (edited 08-31-2000).]

lmiller
08-31-2000, 11:10 PM
Morph,
Weak joke. How about a UNL student being so stupid that he/she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif. Better?

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Not disgruntled....yet.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 11:14 PM
Al - I said it wasn't going to be pretty, <font size=-2> some people just don't listen</font> http://www.ChiefsPlanet.com/ubb/smile.gif

htismaqe
08-31-2000, 11:26 PM
Geee...

It looks like I really missed out on everything from biology to geography tonight.

Luz
shucky darns...

lmiller
08-31-2000, 11:34 PM
Phil,
Good one. But, prepare to meet thy doom.

A Houston man starts a construction job on Monday. He finishes the rest of the week, but calls in on the following Monday. "I can't make it in, I'm sick".
Again, he works the whole week, but Monday morning, he calls in "I can't make it in, I'm sick".
The Boss asks the foreman about the guy and the foreman says "He does the work of two guys, we need him".
So, the Boss calls the guy into his office and says "You seem to have a problem making it in on Mondays". "Anything we can help you with? "Drugs, Booze?
The Houston guy replies "No, I don't drink or do drugs. "But, my brother-in-law is an alcoholic and he beats on my sister every weekend. I go over there, check on her and before you know it, one thing leads to another and I'm doing her".
The Boss is shocked, "You do your own sister"?
The Houston guy replies "I told you I was sick".

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Not disgruntled....yet.

milkman
08-31-2000, 11:37 PM
Yeah, Luz, you missed a good time here tonight. Can't remember the last time I've laughed this hard.

I hope none of our Iowegan friends are too annoyed with us! Its all in good, twisted interstate rivalry fun. I hope to hear some nasty jokes about Jayhawkers upon my return Monday evening.

I am off to pack for the weekend trip. Good night to all, happy holidays, and GO CHIEFS!

lmiller
08-31-2000, 11:39 PM
Phil,
Good one. But, prepare to meet thy doom.

A Houston man starts a construction job on Monday. He finishes the rest of the week, but calls in on the following Monday. "I can't make it in, I'm sick".
Again, he works the whole week, but Monday morning, he calls in "I can't make it in, I'm sick".
The Boss asks the foreman about the guy and the foreman says "He does the work of two guys, we need him".
So, the Boss calls the guy into his office and says "You seem to have a problem making it in on Mondays". "Anything we can help you with? "Drugs, Booze?
The Houston guy replies "No, I don't drink or do drugs. "But, my brother-in-law is an alcoholic and he beats on my sister every weekend. I go over there, check on her and before you know it, one thing leads to another and I'm doing her".
The Boss is shocked, "You do your own sister"?
The Houston guy replies "I told you I was sick".

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Not disgruntled....yet.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 11:41 PM
Al - Having issues there?

lmiller
08-31-2000, 11:42 PM
Whoa! Didn't mean the double post. What's up with that?

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Not disgruntled....yet.

DaKCMan AP
08-31-2000, 11:42 PM
I just want to know exactly how you did it 5 minutes apart...

lmiller
08-31-2000, 11:49 PM
Morph,
I have no idea. Maybe a good nights sleep is the answer. Good night.

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Not disgruntled....yet.