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View Full Version : Something to make you smile about Al Davis


dcshadow
10-04-2000, 09:06 PM
SCENE : AL DAVIS ' S OFFICE . there is a female receptionist behind the desk that is typing furiously on the computer and though she ' s wearing a dress , she has a mustache and looks curiously masculine . The logo behind her says " RAIDERS " in bold black letters . Tim Brown sits nervously in a chair . A beep from the phone intercom rings , and the receptionist pushes a button .

RECEPTIONIST : " Yes , Mr Davis ?"
VOICE COMING FROM INTERCOM : " Marsha ?"
MARSHA : " Yes , Mr Davis ?"
VOICE : " MARSHA ?"
MARSHA : " Yes , Mr . Davis ?"
VOICE ; irritated :" MARSHA , I CAN ' T HEAR YOU ON THIS D A M N THING !"
MARSHA , unmoved :" Take your finger off the talk button , Mr Davis "

( static )

VOICE : " Oh , okay . Marsha ?"
Marsha : " Yes , Mr Davis ?"
Voice : " I just got out of the shower . Marsha :" Mr . Davis , Tim Brown is here to see you ."
Voice :" Who the h e l l is Tim Brown ?"
Marsha :" He ' s your starting wide receiver ."
Voice : " Oh . Well what does he want ?"
Marsha : " You asked to see him , Mr Davis ."
Voice : " Oh , well send him in ."
Marsha , to Tim Brown : " Mr . Davis will see you now , Tim ."
Continued

[This message has been edited by sput@kc (edited 10-04-2000).]

dcshadow
10-04-2000, 09:08 PM
Tim Brown stands up and walks towards door behind receptionist desk , stops behind her to see what she ' s doing .

Tim : " Is that the Bronco Website ? I ' ve seen it a couple times ."
Marsha :" Yeah . I log on everyday and talk trash to the Bronco fans . I always predict they will lose 41 - 17 . That ' s my favorite take ."
Tim : " Do you have a sign - on name ? I ' d love to read some of your takes ."
Marsha :" Yeah , my sign on is LIFER ."

Tim looks at Marsha with a quizical look on his face , slowly backing away . He opens door , looks back at Marsha with same look , and closes door .
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[This message has been edited by sput@kc (edited 10-04-2000).]

dcshadow
10-04-2000, 09:10 PM
Scene : Room totally decorated in white , from the rug to the leather couches to the desk . A large t . v screen on the wall is playing highlights of the Raiders - Redskins super bowl . The large white leather chair is turned facing the t . v . The highlight shows a Raider player wearing no . 32 running through the Washington defense .

Voice from the chair :" The GREATNESS OF THE RAIDERS !"
Tim :" You asked to see , Mr Davis ?"

The chair turns around , and in it is AL Davis , butt - naked . He stands ; shocked , Tim turns around . Al looks down , hurriedly pulls his DEPENDS underwear up , and wipes his hands with a towel . He points to the closet .
AL Davis :" Hey , Tim . Do me a favor ; go over to the closet , and pick me out a suit ."
Tim : " Yes , Mr Davis ."

Tim covers the side of his eyes to block his vision of Al Davis and goes over to a door that has a sign on it that says , " THIS IS WEAR MY CLOTHES ARE ." Tim opens the door , and in are 50 identical white jumpsuits with Raiders logo . Tim pulls one out , and hands it to Al , still covering his eyes . AL puts on jumpsuit , and takes out of drawer a handfull of gold chains and puts them on .
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dcshadow
10-04-2000, 09:10 PM
AL : " So , ah .. what ' s your name again ?"
Tim :" Tim Brown , sir ."
AL : " Oh , yeah , Tim Brown . I wanted to see you cause I wanted you to go on radio and say that Janakowski is good kid , and the fans should give him a chance ."
Tim : " He s u c k s , sir ."
AL : " Don ' t bad mouth this team , boy . You sound just like Marcus Allen , that Benidict Arnold !"
Tim : " Sorry , sir ."
Al :" That ' s more like it . Oh , and I want you to say on the radio that the Chiefs s u c k and Carl Peterson cheats more than my wife . Got it ?"
Tim :" Janakowski ' s a good kid and the Chiefs s u c k , and Carl Peterson is a cheater . Got it ."
Tim turns to go ; stops and turns back to Al .

Tim :" Sir , I ' m sorry about your wife ."
Al :" The h e l l with her , I got these tapes to keep me company . Oh , and Tim , say it for me one time before you go ."
Tim ; raising his arms and pumping his fists :" THE GREATNESS OF THE RAIDERS !"
AL ; pleased :" That ' s my boy , Tim ! Get on to that radio show , and remember what I told you ." Al sits in his chair , turns back to the t . v .

Tim : " I will , sir . Goodbye , Mr . Davis ."

Al doesn ' t answer . Tim opens door , catches sight of Marsha , and runs out of the office .

Sounds of vcr rewinding tape . Highlights of Raiders - Redskins super bowl appear on t . v .

AL :" THE GREATNESS OF THE REAIDERS !!!!!!!!!( ECHO SEVERAL TIMES )

( fade to black )

Gee Carl Peterson ain't so bad...(grin) Go Chiefs!




[This message has been edited by sput@kc (edited 10-04-2000).]

Gaz
10-05-2000, 09:42 AM
WTF!!! HAHAHAH!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!

Gaz
10-05-2000, 10:26 AM
Has anyone else read this??? It is hilarious, Al Davis in depends...

alphacroon
10-05-2000, 12:42 PM
Very funny! great story!

alphacroon
10-05-2000, 12:43 PM
Very funny! great story!