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View Full Version : My theory: How to eliminate girls' control over sex


KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 12:47 AM
./

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 12:48 AM
'

listopencil
04-30-2004, 12:50 AM
That's funny, I haven't slept with every woman who wanted to sleep with me. And It's been offered quite a few times. Now that I am married it happens more than ever. Learn to master your penis.

Bob's Your Uncle
04-30-2004, 12:51 AM
Wouldn't work. The sexbot would get predictable and boring after awhile. Kind of like a wife. ROFL

Bob Dole
04-30-2004, 12:53 AM
Whatever you do, please refrain from giving us any background information regarding this topic.

Bob's Your Uncle
04-30-2004, 12:55 AM
Here you go KCChiefsman:

http://www.realdoll.com/

Ebolapox
04-30-2004, 12:55 AM
<img src="http://ermac.net/i/poop.jpg">

-EB-

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 12:56 AM
Wow. I've been under the impression you might be a dipshit, but this seals it.

I'm.... I'm f*cking speechless.

Maybe you should just retire. You and this guy (http://www.therattler.net/archives/000626.html) can start a club or something.

Ebolapox
04-30-2004, 12:57 AM
Girls have 100% control over sex, correct? girls go out to bars expecting to get hit on and can easily score ass whenever they want. Girls could go up to any guy and just say "Hey, wanna go have some sex?" and it's that easy for them. They don't do that because they have complete control. Girls can afford to be bitches when they want and they can easily turn down 10-20 guys in a night at a bar. Well folks, here is what we need to invent.

Realistic sex robots. Robots, or androids kinda, that feel and act real and are good at sex. They need to be very lifelike and affordable. They need to be able to move and easy to clean. If these were on the market, and most single guys had one. They wouldn't pursue girls with the passion we do now. We might try a little at the bar, but motivation would be at an all time low. Because we now if we don't go home with nothing that night, we always have our sex bots to screw when we get home. This would eliminate most of the control women have with sex. Girls would start hitting on guys and only the hot, rich celebrity type women would be able to remain the same.

This would be a revolution!
Somebody, steal my idea and invent this shit!

dude....

gochiefs had NOTHING on you, dawg

-EB-

listopencil
04-30-2004, 01:03 AM
Wow. I've been under the impression you might be a dipshit, but this seals it.

I'm.... I'm f*cking speechless.

Maybe you should just retire. You and this guy (http://www.therattler.net/archives/000626.html) can start a club or
something.

Nobody told me that I could post my own comments on that site...

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:05 AM
Nobody told me that I could post my own comments on that site...
That was the flaw in my original post. I was surprised no one posted comments, until I realized I copied and pasted the whole "column" and most probably didn't click on the link to see the comments section.

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 01:18 AM
Your threads and posts just kill me. Its like an 8th grade boy trying to really hard to be funny and cool in front of the other kids.

I don't why that image comes to my head but it does...

I love Chiefsplanet.

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 01:26 AM
Wow. I've been under the impression you might be a dipshit, but this seals it.

I'm.... I'm f*cking speechless.

Maybe you should just retire. You and this guy (http://www.therattler.net/archives/000626.html) can start a club or something.


oh, sorry that I cannot be the complete stud star you are.

You don't have my sense of humor. So what, are you offended by that? Did I offend you in any way?

Why don't you go screw yourself

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 01:28 AM
Your threads and posts just kill me. Its like an 8th grade boy trying to really hard to be funny and cool in front of the other kids.

I don't why that image comes to my head but it does...

I love Chiefsplanet.


alright man, I have a sense of humor. I get ideas in my head.

Do you guys want me to apologize for that or something?

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 01:30 AM
Do you guys want me to apologize for that or something?

Not at all. Why would you apologize?

stumppy
04-30-2004, 01:31 AM
How wrong you are. Once they dip their toe in stumppy Lake............

well, need I say more?

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 01:32 AM
oh, sorry that I cannot be the complete stud star you are.

You don't have my sense of humor. So what, are you offended by that? Did I offend you in any way?

Why don't you go screw yourself ROFLROFLROFL Words can't describe...

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 01:33 AM
Not at all. Why would you apologize?


well, I just been called a dipshit because of this theory of mine. I didnt know that I insulted anybody in any way. I don't appreciate being called a dipshit. If having a theory about sex makes me a dipshit then I would not know how to classify some of you people.

I'm just more open about sex topics than most people are. I'm not embarrased or ashamed to admit things or talk about them. I know where I stand, I know what I can accomplish.

I see a lot of judging on here. People are constantly judging everybody else. I don't think that most of these people are very secure.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:33 AM
Why don't you go screw yourself

I don't have the cash on hand at the moment to order that Japanese machine you were so fond of in the other thread.

stumppy
04-30-2004, 01:34 AM
oh, sorry that I cannot be the complete stud star you are.




Have you seen the pic of him and the cow?ROFLROFLROFL

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:35 AM
All this talk of apologizing. Listen, dude... there's no need to tell us you're sorry. We all already know.

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 01:35 AM
Have you seen the pic of him and the cow?ROFLROFLROFL

a cow? are ya kiddin me?

listopencil
04-30-2004, 01:35 AM
How wrong you are. Once they dip their toe in stumppy Lake............

well, need I say more?

Not the image I would have gone for, but to each his own.

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 01:35 AM
I don't have the cash on hand at the moment to order that Japanese machine you were so fond of in the other thread.

I'm sure you don't

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:36 AM
Have you seen the pic of him and the cow?ROFLROFLROFL
ROFL A classic TJ photoshop. Hey, it's the offseason again. Maybe he'll return to his former creative ENDelt bashing.

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 01:37 AM
All this talk of apologizing. Listen, dude... there's no need to tell us you're sorry. We all already know.

what makes you so much better than me? I'd like to know. Whats your beef with me? you know what......I don't even care.

listopencil
04-30-2004, 01:37 AM
And that will be all for this segment of the Dr. Ruth Show, next up...hermaphrodites! After the break!

stumppy
04-30-2004, 01:38 AM
a cow? are ya kiddin me?

Go back about a year in the archives, maybe less. look for anything Taco John posted. It was his signature pic. Funny ass hell.

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 01:38 AM
well, I just been called a dipshit because of this theory of mine. I didnt know that I insulted anybody in any way. I don't appreciate being called a dipshit. If having a theory about sex makes me a dipshit then I would not know how to classify some of you people.

I'm just more open about sex topics than most people are. I'm not embarrased or ashamed to admit things or talk about them. I know where I stand, I know what I can accomplish.

I see a lot of judging on here. People are constantly judging everybody else. I don't think that most of these people are very secure.

Well it seems as though the only person taking this to seriously is you.

Just a tip: If you post something that is pretty funny then people will laugh on this board. There are all kinds of folks with great twisted sense of humors that are up for something funny. This just didn't do it so you are getting pissy...

I just think you are trying to hard to post thing that you think we want to hear...

So if you are really pissed off by the things we say I don't think board is for you. If you can let it slide off and just go with the flow then things will work out a lot better for you.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:39 AM
what makes you so much better than me?

I don't really feel the need to enumerate the reasons I'm glad I'm not you. I'm just happy to be me.

Whats your beef with me?

.... wonder if Ebola's still on. Can't wait to see if he springs out the Tech N9ne quote that popped into my head when I read this.

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 01:40 AM
Did the meanies on this thread force you to edit out your posts? Come on...

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 01:41 AM
Well it seems as though the only person taking this to seriously is you.

Just a tip: If you post something that is pretty funny then people will laugh on this board. There are all kinds of folks with great twisted sense of humors that are up for something funny. This just didn't do it so you are getting pissy...

I just think you are trying to hard to post thing that you think we want to hear...

So if you are really pissed off by the things we say I don't think board is for you. If you can let it slide off and just go with the flow then things will work out a lot better for you.

well, I just have a hard time being disrespected. I have never been insulting to anybody who did not initiate it with me. Well, when I was with nepa chiefs, that was different and a long time ago. But otherwise, I've shown people respect, or at least I haven't disrespected anybody

Joe Seahawk
04-30-2004, 01:43 AM
OK baldy..

Bob Dole
04-30-2004, 01:43 AM
OK baldy..

Thief! Thief!

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 01:47 AM
well, I just have a hard time being disrespected. I have never been insulting to anybody who did not initiate it with me. Well, when I was with nepa chiefs, that was different and a long time ago. But otherwise, I've shown people respect, or at least I haven't disrespected anybody

Well its just hard to respect someone who comes with the kind of content...can you blame us?

The STD thread...

The discrimination thread...

The ripping on the roomate thread...

The "Hey I am gonna make a thread so you can see me with girls" thread...

Its just seems like you crave attention on this board. And you do jackass things. Alot of the way you have described yourself on this board paints you as a jackass. I don't think I am way off base here.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:50 AM
ROFL

I knew when this thread started it would be entertaining, but I never saw the editing out of dumbass comments move coming.

The "OK, Baldy" was the cherry on the top of my late night sundae.

listopencil
04-30-2004, 01:50 AM
I don't think I am way off base here.



No, I'd have to say you're spot-on.

stumppy
04-30-2004, 01:51 AM
Did the meanies on this thread force you to edit out your posts? Come on...


:thumb:If you post it to begin with you damn well better have the balls to weather the storm.

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 01:52 AM
:thumb:If you post it to begin with you damn well better have the balls to weather the storm.

Lord knows I have made some crappy threads but hey the worst you can do is watch them sink down on the page and off into BB oblivian...

ROFL

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:52 AM
well, if nothing else, ebola quoted the thread starter.

99% of the humor in this thread is left for posterity.

listopencil
04-30-2004, 01:53 AM
http://ermac.net/i/poop.jpg

-EB-


If nothing else, this thread was worthwhile because it gave me another pic to save in my "message board" collection.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 01:55 AM
If nothing else, this thread was worthwhile because it gave me another pic to save in my "message board" collection.
Good. I'll know who to contact when I want that pic.

listopencil
04-30-2004, 01:57 AM
I've got a bunch of them, mostly from here.

|Zach|
04-30-2004, 02:03 AM
I've got a bunch of them, mostly from here. If you like gathering up those pictures then you should check out this section of my website. Basically there is a collection of pictures and everytime you hit refresh it gives you another one...it is a pretty interesting mixed collection of pictures...alot of them taken from here...

Just something you may like...

http://www.zachishere.com/randompics.htm

Bob's Your Uncle
04-30-2004, 02:54 AM
Did anyone check out the realdolls website? F'n creepy...

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 03:08 AM
Did anyone check out the realdolls website? F'n creepy...
Eh, I think KCChiefsMan logged off, so you don't have anyone left to respond in the affirmative.

But, I did want to take this opportunity to say F*CK YOU!

Sorry, I'm not really angry at you. I'm just frustrated with the Royals. But, your team was a part of my frustration tonight, so I had to take it out on you.

I feel a little better now. Thanks.

Bob's Your Uncle
04-30-2004, 03:10 AM
It's OK, I understand. If it makes you feel any better I didn't get to see that awesome comeback in the 9th, I missed the whole game.

Apparently these realdolls are quite sophisticated. They cost 6 grand.

The FAQ is interesting.

http://www.realdoll.com/faq.asp

Fairplay
04-30-2004, 03:47 AM
This thread= :shake:

stumppy
04-30-2004, 03:53 AM
This thread= :shake:



HEY!!! Most of the friggen night crew= :shake:


:D

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2004, 04:06 AM
Your threads and posts just kill me. Its like an 8th grade boy trying to really hard to be funny and cool in front of the other kids.

I don't why that image comes to my head but it does...

I love Chiefsplanet.Yeah. Like Slayer, but much more juvenile.

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2004, 04:17 AM
You know, I was going to call him a retard about three hours ago, but I got distracted by Eb's pic and followed the link to find more good ones.

Wile_E_Coyote
04-30-2004, 04:52 AM
this thread was brought to you, by the friendly folks at PETA

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2004, 05:09 AM
Thanks, PETA.

Bob's Your Uncle
04-30-2004, 05:33 AM
KCChiefsman should not be derided nor pitied for threads like this. He just has more balls/less inhibitions than some of you. I for one enjoy his threads.

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2004, 05:34 AM
You're a tard.

Bob's Your Uncle
04-30-2004, 05:36 AM
I am rubber you are glue.

stumppy
04-30-2004, 05:37 AM
CRIPPLE FIGHT!!!!!

KC Jones
04-30-2004, 06:54 AM
That's funny, I haven't slept with every woman who wanted to sleep with me. And It's been offered quite a few times. Now that I am married it happens more than ever. Learn to master your penis.


What you fail to mention is that you work at a leper colony.


:D

JazzzLovr
04-30-2004, 07:00 AM
I miss the night crew.



BTW, KCChiefsMan, I hear that girls with mullets who wear anything with the confederate flag, Nascar, or John Deere on it (especially if it's a dirty t-shirt) are pretty easy. And if she looks like she's in high school and is missing any teeth, pay no attention if she's ever rude or if you just get that "I'm not getting any from this chick vibe", because she definitely wants you.

Hope that helps.

Dartgod
04-30-2004, 07:20 AM
I miss the night crew.



BTW, KCChiefsMan, I hear that girls with mullets who wear anything with the confederate flag, Nascar, or John Deere on it (especially if it's a dirty t-shirt) are pretty easy. And if she looks like she's in high school and is missing any teeth, pay no attention if she's ever rude or if you just get that "I'm not getting any from this chick vibe", because she definitely wants you.

Hope that helps.
Nice. ROFL

Another thread he'll be deleting real soon.

ndbbm
04-30-2004, 07:28 AM
I miss the night crew.



BTW, KCChiefsMan, I hear that girls with mullets who wear anything with the confederate flag, Nascar, or John Deere on it (especially if it's a dirty t-shirt) are pretty easy. And if she looks like she's in high school and is missing any teeth, pay no attention if she's ever rude or if you just get that "I'm not getting any from this chick vibe", because she definitely wants you.

Hope that helps.I laughed AND snorted at this. :D

Pennywise
04-30-2004, 08:51 AM
Sex with a robot? ROFL

Its all very well until it short circuits and you end of with the equivalent of pissing on 20 spark plugs.

Realistic sex robots. Robots, or androids kinda, that feel and act real and are good at sex. They need to be very lifelike and affordable. They need to be able to move and easy to clean. If these were on the market, and most single guys had one. They wouldn't pursue girls with the passion we do now. We might try a little at the bar, but motivation would be at an all time low. Because we now if we don't go home with nothing that night, we always have our sex bots to screw when we get home. This would eliminate most of the control women have with sex. Girls would start hitting on guys and only the hot, rich celebrity type women would be able to remain the same.

ROFL

ndbbm
04-30-2004, 09:03 AM
Sex with a robot? ROFL

Its all very well until it short circuits and you end of with the equivalent of pissing on 20 spark plugs.

ROFL Cripes. Not even the inbred hicks in this po-dunk town would bang a robot. WTF was this boy thinkin?

Pennywise
04-30-2004, 09:13 AM
Cripes. Not even the inbred hicks in this po-dunk town would bang a robot. WTF was this boy thinkin?

He was thinking he'd rather bang a machine because he's frustrated about his macking abilities.

I have this image of this dude in a bar (recently shot down) and yelling at the chick 'Don't worry bitch, I'm going home and F*CKING MY ROBOT!!'

ChiTown
04-30-2004, 09:18 AM
I have this image of this dude in a bar (recently shot down) and yelling at the chick 'Don't worry bitch, I'm going home and F*CKING MY ROBOT!!'

Holy $hit!

ROFL

Damn, why didn't I ever think of that comeback. Would've saved me years of embarassment. ROFL

ndbbm
04-30-2004, 09:18 AM
He was thinking he'd rather bang a machine because he's frustrated about his macking abilities.

I have this image of this dude in a bar (recently shot down) and yelling at the chick 'Don't worry bitch, I'm going home and F*CKING MY ROBOT!!'I like to just stare blankly at a woman in a bar until they say "What are you looking at"...To which I reply, "Well, I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there for it." yeah...I can see this lamer has a .2 rating on the mack scale.

Pennywise
04-30-2004, 09:21 AM
I like to just stare blankly at a woman in a bar until they say "What are you looking at"...To which I reply, "Well, I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there for it." yeah...I can see this lamer has a .2 rating on the mack scale.

ROFL

My buddy I work with has a good line...

'Excuse me, but would you like to go in halves on a bastard?'

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 09:24 AM
If you just keep giving them the cash up front...I'm sure they'll continue to take you down to the tall grass, and let you do your stuff.

btw....some guy I saw on HBO already beat you to it..a lifelike looking doll, you can select the attributes......I'm sure you can find it online.

ChiTown
04-30-2004, 09:26 AM
ROFL

My buddy I work with has a good line...

'Excuse me, but would you like to go in halves on a bastard?'

ROFL

Great line. A friend of mine in college used a line that always made me grab my gut in laughter. He'd go ask a girl to dance. If she turned him down he'd say, "No problem, I have to take a shit anyways" ROFL

Ahh, the good ol' days.....

Pennywise
04-30-2004, 09:27 AM
ROFL

Great line. A friend of mine in college used a line that always made me grab my gut in laughter. He'd go ask a girl to dance. If she turned him down he'd say, "No problem, I have to take a shit anyways" ROFL

Ahh, the good ol' days.....


Now that's f*cking funny!

ndbbm
04-30-2004, 09:28 AM
ROFL

Great line. A friend of mine in college used a line that always made me grab my gut in laughter. He'd go ask a girl to dance. If she turned him down he'd say, "No problem, I have to take a shit anyways" ROFL

Ahh, the good ol' days.....ROFL

ndbbm
04-30-2004, 09:31 AM
I was always a fan of:

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg?

No?
Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 09:35 AM
I was always a fan of:

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg?

No?
Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

I'll bet you spent alot of time singing to them too...

"aaaah like mah women like I like mah chicken
with a little bit of fat on the end...
not too much,
and not too little...
just enough
to maaaaake meeeee griiiiiiin."



A hopeless romantic you are.

Dartgod
04-30-2004, 09:37 AM
I'll bet you spent alot of time singing to them too...

"aaaah like mah women like I like mah chicken
with a little bit of fat on the end...
not too much,
and not too little...
just enough
to maaaaake meeeee griiiiiiin."



A hopeless romantic you are.
Rodney Carrington is a funny motherf*****...

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 09:38 AM
yes.....yes he is, indeed.

I'm pretty sure he wrote a song for a few of our members....including both the thread's author and delt....Dear Penis.

ndbbm
04-30-2004, 09:45 AM
I'll bet you spent alot of time singing to them too...

"aaaah like mah women like I like mah chicken
with a little bit of fat on the end...
not too much,
and not too little...
just enough
to maaaaake meeeee griiiiiiin."



A hopeless romantic you are."I've got a 12 inch dick, and a dozen roses.....and a pickup truck....hubba hubba hubba hey!" That's all i wrote for that one.

Dartgod
04-30-2004, 09:46 AM
yes.....yes he is, indeed.

I'm pretty sure he wrote a song for a few of our members....including both the thread's author and delt....Dear Penis.
And me...

Titties & Beer....

JazzzLovr
04-30-2004, 09:48 AM
And me...

Titties & Beer....

Except that on you, they're called "manboobs".


;)

Dartgod
04-30-2004, 09:51 AM
Except that on you, they're called "manboobs".


;)
DAYUM!! That wasn't called for was it?

JazzzLovr
04-30-2004, 09:56 AM
DAYUM!! That wasn't called for was it?

ROFL Sorry... It was just the way you worded that post. I would have made the same reply if just about anybody had said it. It was nothing personal. In fact, I did have a bit of remorse and almost deleted it.

But I'm bored, and it made me laugh. So it stayed. :evil:

JazzzLovr
04-30-2004, 09:57 AM
DAYUM!! That wasn't called for was it?

BTW, aren't you glad that I don't talk nearly as much in person? o:-)

Phobia
04-30-2004, 10:01 AM
In fact, I did have a bit of remorse and almost deleted it.

Maybe you should have done that. Maybe you should also go help Paul forget about his little robot idea.

ndbbm
04-30-2004, 10:03 AM
I think Jazzlover may be the sole reason i come out to Arrowhead this year. Well, and a few others.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 10:08 AM
I think Jazzlover may be the sole reason i come out to Arrowhead this year. Well, and a few others.

So she can deride and insult you? Jeez, like she's the only one with that talent, ya orphan bastard

cadmonkey
04-30-2004, 10:10 AM
I think Jazzlover may be the sole reason i come out to Arrowhead this year. Well, and a few others.


Speaking of coming out to Arrowhead, ChiefinNE and myself were thinking of coming out for the Patriots game. How tough is it to come across tickets out there?

JazzzLovr
04-30-2004, 10:11 AM
I think Jazzlover may be the sole reason i come out to Arrowhead this year. Well, and a few others.

I just insulted the Baron of B5. I may not be allowed at Arrowhead anymore.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 10:14 AM
I just insulted the Baron of B5. I may not be allowed at Arrowhead anymore.

Dartgod, 2 years of trying to tell her and she finally understands. You should have a party or something.

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 10:56 AM
. How tough is it to come across tickets out there?

Probably depends how good your timing and aim are.......

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 10:58 AM
you guys don't like me because I can talk about things that most people would be embarassed to talk about. I'm comfortable with myself, I'm just more open and that offends most of you because a lot of you are not secure. That's alright though.

and yes, I know, I'm the only person to ever talk about sex on this board or other issues that do not involve football. I'm the only one.

you guys are so hypocritical is makes me laugh.

I know, not a single one of you guys have ever jacked off in your lives, none of you guys have gotten drunk and said or did something stupid.

Nothing bad ever happens to you guys, your lives are GREAT!

Pennywise
04-30-2004, 11:03 AM
you guys don't like me because I can talk about things that most people would be embarassed to talk about. I'm comfortable with myself, I'm just more open and that offends most of you because a lot of you are not secure. That's alright though.

and yes, I know, I'm the only person to ever talk about sex on this board or other issues that do not involve football. I'm the only one.

you guys are so hypocritical is makes me laugh.

I know, not a single one of you guys have ever jacked off in your lives, none of you guys have gotten drunk and said or did something stupid.

Nothing bad ever happens to you guys, your lives are GREAT!

Cheer up man...


GUCCI, GUCCI, GUCCI!

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 11:03 AM
Yeah. Like Slayer, but much more juvenile.
ROFL Harsh

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 11:06 AM
yes.....yes he is, indeed.

I'm pretty sure he wrote a song for a few of our members....including both the thread's author and delt....Dear Penis.
"cuz when you get to drinkin', you put me place I never been before..."

Yeah, sounds about right.

ChiTown
04-30-2004, 11:07 AM
I know, not a single one of you guys have ever jacked off in your lives, ...




EASY!

No need to go overboard there. I've jacked off more times than I care to recall. Matter a fact, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not either smacking johnnie behind the ears or at least contemplating it.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 11:07 AM
Except that on you, they're called "manboobs".

ROFL SMACK! And Tammie shows up with another blindside shot.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 11:09 AM
Probably depends how good your timing and aim are.......
ROFL Oh my.

This thread is truly classic.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 11:10 AM
you guys don't like me because I can talk about things that most people would be embarassed to talk about.

Bullshit. Your threads provide great entertainment. Why the hell would you think we didn't like you?

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 11:11 AM
If you're so comfortable or secure or whatever the hell sort of horseshit you're babbling about, why did you feel the need to delete your little sex toy idea?

Phobia
04-30-2004, 11:17 AM
you guys don't like me because I can talk about things that most people would be embarassed to talk about. I'm comfortable with myself, I'm just more open and that offends most of you because a lot of you are not secure. That's alright though.

and yes, I know, I'm the only person to ever talk about sex on this board or other issues that do not involve football. I'm the only one.

you guys are so hypocritical is makes me laugh.

I know, not a single one of you guys have ever jacked off in your lives, none of you guys have gotten drunk and said or did something stupid.

Nothing bad ever happens to you guys, your lives are GREAT!

Yeah. It's us, not you. Face it, Paul. You're going through an awkward stage in your life. You're in your early 20's and you haven't sorted out your priorities (ie: haven't grown up). There's nothing wrong with that, it's part of the process. Some people do it earlier than others. Until you do (grow up), you're going to be subjected to some ridicule, especially with the material you throw out here. I'm not saying that you're immature to insult you - just increase your awareness.

When you can learn to laugh at yourself (instead of lashing out), you'll find your experience on ChiefsPlanet to be much more enjoyable.

ChiTown
04-30-2004, 11:18 AM
When you can learn to laugh at yourself (instead of lashing out), you'll find your experience on ChiefsPlanet to be much more enjoyable.

Agreed. The opportunity to laugh at YOU daily keeps me coming back to the Planet. By the way, thanks ;)

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 11:21 AM
Yeah. It's us, not you. Face it, Paul. You're going through an awkward stage in your life. You're in your early 20's and you haven't sorted out your priorities (ie: haven't grown up). There's nothing wrong with that, it's part of the process. Some people do it earlier than others. Until you do (grow up), you're going to be subjected to some ridicule, especially with the material you throw out here. I'm not saying that you're immature to insult you - just increase your awareness.

When you can learn to laugh at yourself (instead of lashing out), you'll find your experience on ChiefsPlanet to be much more enjoyable.



ya, you are so much better than me. I know.

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 11:22 AM
Agreed. The opportunity to laugh at YOU daily keeps me coming back to the Planet. By the way, thanks ;)


hey, I do what I can.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 11:22 AM
Agreed. The opportunity to laugh at YOU daily keeps me coming back to the Planet. By the way, thanks ;)

:banghead: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ChiTown
04-30-2004, 11:24 AM
ya, you are so much better than me. I know.


No, no, no......

Not better, more efficient. Phobes is just as big of a ding-dong as you, but he's more efficient in doing it. You are a cargo plane, while he operates mainly in Stealth mode.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 11:26 AM
ya, you are so much better than me. I know.

Where did you get that out of what I typed? I'm not better, just older. What I'm trying to tell you (what I've been trying to tell you) is that I've been where you are. My pecker thought for me exclusively until it was too late. I was married to a completely disfunctional and chemically imbalanced woman. But, she sure was hot and a major nympho in the sack. I had achieved every man's errrrr boy's dream.

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 11:28 AM
KCCM....
I don't know that its correct to say that "nobody likes you". When a person posts some off the wall material, its going to come back on them...Ask Gunther fan about the time he almost saw a neked newscaster at training camp, ask Gochiefs about getting cyberdrunk, ask taco about looking like Tattoo.

You have made treads ranging from not serving people based on their looks, judgments on women, flown off the handle at your roomate for being a virgin, followed by threads about how chics can't take it when you put the thunderdomeheadedwarrior to them, complained about women being bitches all the time, and now you're the guy from that citibank credit protection commercial.........you know...the one with the black lady at the hair dresser......"my giiiiiiirl robot"...
(really wish I had a pic of that lady to insert here)
Paul...."this is gonna be the beeeest prom evar! hee hahee"

I'm guessing the problem is that you think Pam Anderson is in your class, when you need to be content with Roseanne.

BIG_DADDY
04-30-2004, 11:29 AM
ya, you are so much better than me. I know.

Maybe you should read that again. :shake:

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 11:31 AM
Yeah. It's us, not you. Face it, Paul. You're going through an awkward stage in your life. You're in your early 20's and you haven't sorted out your priorities (ie: haven't grown up). There's nothing wrong with that, it's part of the process. Some people do it earlier than others. Until you do (grow up), you're going to be subjected to some ridicule, especially with the material you throw out here. I'm not saying that you're immature to insult you - just increase your awareness.

When you can learn to laugh at yourself (instead of lashing out), you'll find your experience on ChiefsPlanet to be much more enjoyable.
Gee, thanks Dr. Phil.

The Bad Guy
04-30-2004, 11:36 AM
Normally the guy who brags about getting chicks all the time is normally the same one who is watching Beaches with his "virgin" roomate on a Saturday night.

Guys who get some don't generally broadcast it.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 11:38 AM
Gee, thanks Dr. Phil.

You're welcome. I just saved the young guys on ChiefsPlanet hundreds of thousands of dollars in attorney's fees, child support, and alimony due to my wisdom of such issues. All I ask is one percent. If you're one of the young men who have benefited from my vast life experiences, feel free to drop me a PM and I'll happily provide you with my paypal account. FWIW, you don't have to pay me all at once. In fact, I encourage you to get the calculator and determine an exact value of my advice.

Lawyers: $20,000+
Child Support: $1,000 a month until the child graduates college
Alimony: $1,000 a month until the bitch dies or remarries.

Figure it out and send me 1% for the next 20 years. I'm providing a valuable service here.

Rausch
04-30-2004, 11:41 AM
you guys don't like me because I can talk about things that most people would be embarassed to talk about.

You must have me, Frazod, and Phil on ignore...

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 11:42 AM
I got some of them mudflaps, you know....the ones with the neked ladies on em?ooooooh mamasita.....

NYA HYA HYA HYA HYA!

Nzoner
04-30-2004, 11:59 AM
You're welcome. I just saved the young guys on ChiefsPlanet hundreds of thousands of dollars in attorney's fees, child support, and alimony due to my wisdom of such issues. All I ask is one percent. If you're one of the young men who have benefited from my vast life experiences, feel free to drop me a PM and I'll happily provide you with my paypal account. FWIW, you don't have to pay me all at once. In fact, I encourage you to get the calculator and determine an exact value of my advice.

Lawyers: $20,000+
Child Support: $1,000 a month until the child graduates college
Alimony: $1,000 a month until the bitch dies or remarries.

Figure it out and send me 1% for the next 20 years. I'm providing a valuable service here.

Don't forget bail fees,that advice of telling the cop to uncuff you because there's no law saying you can't destroy your own property is worth something.

Just trying to make sure you get your due.

ZepSinger
04-30-2004, 12:10 PM
I am sensing some pent-up hostility in this thread. First, it's good to admit it(denial is not just a river in Egypt)!

Step 2- in order to heal our inner child, we must learn to 'own' our anger. Then, we really should consider some 12-step anger management.

Just try not to go into a shame spiral- and always remember, only YOU can take care of you. :thumb:

Phobia
04-30-2004, 12:13 PM
Don't forget bail fees,that advice of telling the cop to uncuff you because there's no law saying you can't destroy your own property is worth something.

Just trying to make sure you get your due.

You're right, but why quibble over a few cents here and there. I'm only asking for 1%. There's not a better deal that can be achieved anywhere on earth. For 1 penny on the dollar, I'll be your father and ensure you aren't financially destitute by age 30. You can't get that by watching Oprah nor Dr. Phil.

Calcountry
04-30-2004, 12:15 PM
this thread was brought to you, by the friendly folks at PETA
Your sig pic would be much better if it was animated. I stared at if for a few seconds hoping the mallet would come down and go thud. Darn.

Kind of like this Fishing guy (http://users3.ev1.net/~jtclay/fishin.htm)

Talisman
04-30-2004, 12:26 PM
This thread is comedy gold. I'll just throw out a few of these: ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL You can all share them.

grandllama
04-30-2004, 01:24 PM
I know, not a single one of you guys have ever jacked off in your lives, none of you guys have gotten drunk and said or did something stupid.

Nothing bad ever happens to you guys, your lives are GREAT!


How dare you put these activities in the category of 'bad things'

They happen to be the highlight of my life, and are the very things that make my life GREAT!

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2004, 02:05 PM
I like to just stare blankly at a woman in a bar until they say "What are you looking at"...To which I reply, "Well, I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there for it." yeah...I can see this lamer has a .2 rating on the mack scale.:LOL:

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2004, 02:06 PM
How dare you put these activities in the category of 'bad things'

They happen to be the highlight of my life, and are the very things that make my life GREAT!True dat.

LVNHACK
04-30-2004, 02:36 PM
This thread has some good laughs in it...........



I don't remember whose sig it was but it went like this......




Anything stated on the Planet can come back to haunt you......... ROFL

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 02:38 PM
How dare you put these activities in the category of 'bad things'

They happen to be the highlight of my life, and are the very things that make my life GREAT!
Hell, I'm hoping to get drunk, say and do something stupid tonight.

It's Friday! Whoo-motherf*ckin-hoo!

COchief
04-30-2004, 02:47 PM
Without reading this entire thread...may I suggest that you turn gay? That would eliminate you from having to deal with the bitches. After seeing the pictures of you and your Gucci sunglasses twin, I would say you two are only a couple of cocktails away from it anyways.

/Here to help :thumb:

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 02:50 PM
I used to have a sig that said something like "you have the right to remain silent, anything you post on the planet can and will be used against you at another time"...

LVNHACK
04-30-2004, 02:54 PM
I used to have a sig that said something like "you have the right to remain silent, anything you post on the planet can and will be used against you at another time"...



That may be it.............. :thumb:

Ugly Duck
04-30-2004, 03:01 PM
My theory: How to eliminate girls' control over sex

"Plagerism!! That was my term paper!!"

http://ca.yimg.com/i/ca/reuters/20030922/i/2215157772.jpg

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 03:04 PM
i WAS pondering a GHB joke, but thought *someone* might think it a suggestion.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 03:06 PM
Bwahaha. And the hits keep coming.

I see you found the pic, Iowanian.

Cochise
04-30-2004, 03:19 PM
He must have just rented wierd science.

Mark M
04-30-2004, 03:19 PM
Don't you need to actually have sex in order to gain control over it?

MM
~~:shrug:

beavis
04-30-2004, 03:24 PM
Normally the guy who brags about getting chicks all the time is normally the same one who is watching Beaches with his "virgin" roomate on a Saturday night.

Guys who get some don't generally broadcast it.
That's been my thought about this guy along.

Ultra Peanut
04-30-2004, 03:24 PM
My theory: How to eliminate girls' control over sex

"Plagerism!! That was my term paper!!"

http://ca.yimg.com/i/ca/reuters/20030922/i/2215157772.jpgROFL

Fat Elvis
04-30-2004, 03:34 PM
Without reading this entire thread...may I suggest that you turn gay? That would eliminate you from having to deal with the bitches. After seeing the pictures of you and your Gucci sunglasses twin, I would say you two are only a couple of cocktails away from it anyways.

/Here to help :thumb:


Heck I was going to suggest he just limit all his posts to the refrain of, "I'm a loser and a tard."

It would cut down on his typing time, and wind up saying the exact same thing he conveys anyways.

I mean, seriously, this is a guy who thinks a light Cheetos dusting will have the same effect on women as a spray on tan; it gives him that rugged outdoorsie look.

COchief
04-30-2004, 03:43 PM
Heck I was going to suggest he just limit all his posts to the refrain of, "I'm a loser and a tard."

It would cut down on his typing time, and wind up saying the exact same thing he conveys anyways.

I mean, seriously, this is a guy who thinks a light Cheetos dusting will have the same effect on women as a spray on tan; it gives him that rugged outdoorsie look.

I love this guy's posts, he is bringing us all together as one. Plus unlike Gochiefs he is seemingly unaware of his idiocy.

/prays for more threads by kcchiefsfanofgucciglassesdiscriminatorywaitressingandhumpingmachines

Cochise
04-30-2004, 03:57 PM
What is the deal about the gucci glasses? I must have missed something in the saga here.

Logical
04-30-2004, 03:58 PM
ya, you are so much better than me. I know.

Are you sure it was your roomate that was the loser?

Iowanian
04-30-2004, 04:03 PM
I've sat back leaving the obvious for a newb...

I can't BELIEVE I've not yet seen a Ladies man reference.

"If Ah had a girl sexule robot, Ah would have it covered in red vel-vet......so it would be saaawft, when I do it.....in da butt"

Buzz
04-30-2004, 04:06 PM
Well I was hoping for some good insight on the topic at hand (no pun intended) on eliminating womens control over sex but apparently there is none? I guess I'll have to keep doing it the old fashion way...

Fat Elvis
04-30-2004, 04:11 PM
What is the deal about the gucci glasses? I must have missed something in the saga here.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=88177&page=2&pp=40&highlight=gucci


Thought this was pretty funny:

hey, I like nice things, like Al Davis. I like nice things, so I buy nice things and then I look like Al Davis. I'm also comfortable with my sexuality. My hetero-sexuality, except when I'm a boy toy for Al Davis

grandllama
04-30-2004, 04:18 PM
I'm just more open about sex topics than most people are.

He obviously hasn't dug too deep into the archives...

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 04:19 PM
"Do I have an ugly pussy?"

Wrasse
04-30-2004, 04:25 PM
I've sat back leaving the obvious for a newb...

I can't BELIEVE I've not yet seen a Ladies man reference.

"If Ah had a girl sexule robot, Ah would have it covered in red vel-vet......so it would be saaawft, when I do it.....in da butt"
ROFL!!!

This thread should be stuck to the top of this forum (stickied or whatever it's called on this BBS).

Rain Man
04-30-2004, 04:28 PM
Has anyone proposed the eunuch approach yet? I'm presuming that the Japanese "hand machine" was discussed long ago.

COchief
04-30-2004, 04:33 PM
Might as well get this thread too, I am off for the weekend. Have fun with this one guys...

Fat Elvis
04-30-2004, 04:35 PM
Un-fukkin-canny.....

http://www.bugkid.com/beavis/pictures/013.jpg

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 04:56 PM
oh man!

nice...........I thought I looked pretty sexy in those shades.......

Phobia
04-30-2004, 05:20 PM
oh man!

nice...........I thought I looked pretty sexy in those shades.......

It's not the shades...

It's you.

Jenny Gump
04-30-2004, 05:31 PM
oh man!

nice...........I thought I looked pretty sexy in those shades.......

Dude, I don't mean this to sound the wrong way, but if you need to invent robot sex toys to eliminate female control over sex...well, that just tells me you don't know how to use your dick.

Maybe they have all the control, because they (now get ready cause I am only saying this once) don't wanna have sex with you .

Real men, who actually excite a woman, don't have to give all the control to women. Quit thinking with your dick dude.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 05:33 PM
What she said.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 05:33 PM
Dude, I don't mean this to sound the wrong way, but if you need to invent robot sex toys to eliminate female control over sex...well, that just tells me you don't know how to use your dick.

Maybe they have all the control, because they (now get ready cause I am only saying this once) don't wanna have sex with you .

Real men, who actually excite a woman, don't have to give all the control to women. Quit thinking with your dick dude.

I figured you'd be a huge fan of Paul, JG. Can you imagine how many women he's converted to lesbianism?

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 05:33 PM
Well, except for the "I don't mean for this to sound the wrong way" part.

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 05:34 PM
I figured you'd be a huge fan of Paul, JG. Can you imagine how many women he's converted to lesbianism?
ROFL

Gawd, is there no bottom to the comedy well that is this thread?

grandllama
04-30-2004, 05:49 PM
"Do I have an ugly pussy?"


I'd forgotten that little archived tidbit ROFL

ENDelt260
04-30-2004, 05:51 PM
I'd forgotten that little archived tidbit ROFL
That and the string-cutting story are burned in my memory forever.

KCChiefsMan
04-30-2004, 06:03 PM
I figured you'd be a huge fan of Paul, JG. Can you imagine how many women he's converted to lesbianism?


lol, there's been a few I'm sure

listopencil
04-30-2004, 06:23 PM
Dude, I don't mean this to sound the wrong way, but if you need to invent robot sex toys to eliminate female control over sex...well, that just tells me you don't know how to use your dick.

Maybe they have all the control, because they (now get ready cause I am only saying this once) don't wanna have sex with you .

Real men, who actually excite a woman, don't have to give all the control to women. Quit thinking with your dick dude.

Damn. That's what I was trying to say earlier in the thread, but you said it so much better than I could.

keg in kc
04-30-2004, 06:35 PM
Maybe they have all the control, because they (now get ready cause I am only saying this once) don't wanna have sex with you .

Real men, who actually excite a woman, don't have to give all the control to women. Quit thinking with your dick dude.Resigning to this painful fact has made my life so much better and so much easier. :thumb:

Oh wait, no it hasn't. I'm going to go sit on my couch now, in the dark, and drink and drink and drink until the really hot hallucinogenic women show up.

Bob's Your Uncle
04-30-2004, 06:46 PM
Keep on rockin' dude. :D

Herzig
04-30-2004, 07:03 PM
You're welcome. I just saved the young guys on
Lawyers: $20,000+
Child Support: $1,000 a month until the child graduates college
Alimony: $1,000 a month until the bitch dies or remarries.

Figure it out and send me 1% for the next 20 years. I'm providing a valuable service here.

Damn!!! Phobia!! You got screwed by your Lawyers and wife. What exactly did they do for that $20K anyway? You would probably have been better off representing yourself. Sorry you had to go through that dude. Ouch.

Skip Towne
04-30-2004, 07:14 PM
Yeah, the screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 07:14 PM
Damn!!! Phobia!! You got screwed by your Lawyers and wife. What exactly did they do for that $20K anyway? You would probably have been better off representing yourself. Sorry you had to go through that dude. Ouch.

Oh - those are not my exact figures. I didn't quite spend $20k on attorneys. But, the bitch was in a fighting mood and she was content to make it as hellish as possible, so I got pretty close to it. For that amount of money, I got to keep my house and only pay alimony for 8 months, until she graduated nursing school. Fortunately, alimony only exists in Texas for special situations and she didn't "qualify". The 8 months was entirely voluntary - I'm such a nice bastard.

Skip Towne
04-30-2004, 08:44 PM
Oh - those are not my exact figures. I didn't quite spend $20k on attorneys. But, the bitch was in a fighting mood and she was content to make it as hellish as possible, so I got pretty close to it. For that amount of money, I got to keep my house and only pay alimony for 8 months, until she graduated nursing school. Fortunately, alimony only exists in Texas for special situations and she didn't "qualify". The 8 months was entirely voluntary - I'm such a nice bastard.
You were a lot nicer than I would have been.

Phobia
04-30-2004, 08:47 PM
You were a lot nicer than I would have been.

Yeah - upon reflection, that was pretty 'fn stupid. At that point, I was really, really sick of the entire ordeal and didn't think a few extra grrr was gonna hurt anything. 'course, that's back when I was bringing $100 an hour. Haven't seen that rate in a while.... :(

Skip Towne
04-30-2004, 08:52 PM
Yeah - upon reflection, that was pretty 'fn stupid. At that point, I was really, really sick of the entire ordeal and didn't think a few extra grrr was gonna hurt anything. 'course, that's back when I was bringing $100 an hour. Haven't seen that rate in a while.... :(
Damn, what did you do for $100 per hour or should I ask?

Phobia
04-30-2004, 08:59 PM
Damn, what did you do for $100 per hour or should I ask?

Computer geek. Designed networks & shit like that.

Bob Dole
04-30-2004, 09:02 PM
Reading the first few posts, Bob Dole doesn't have the courage to actually scroll back through this thread.

You all need to consider obtaining lives or something.

(Then be sure to let Bob Dole know where you found them so he can pick one up, too.)

Jenny Gump
04-30-2004, 09:03 PM
Computer geek. Designed networks & shit like that.

Well...that is an interesting euphemism. How come you charged me $150 an hour?

Phobia
04-30-2004, 09:25 PM
Well...that is an interesting euphemism. How come you charged me $150 an hour?

Shhhh - Austinchief doesn't really like me marketing out here.

listopencil
05-01-2004, 06:10 AM
Well...that is an interesting euphemism. How come you charged me $150 an hour?


Because you insisted on a "103.5".

Iowanian
05-04-2004, 08:24 PM
but its just too perfect.

BLAM!


Sorry KCCM.....Someone posted yet another of your spring break pictures.

ENDelt260
05-04-2004, 08:27 PM
Hey, look... it's Awesome-o... oh, oh, OH.

Inspector
05-04-2004, 08:57 PM
You just think they have control.

In a few years the tables will turn.

Us old guys have found out that for the vast majority of life us guys have the control.

What you are going through is part of being young. Hang in there. Better times are ahead. You will eventually have the control. Enjoy.

Raiderhader
05-04-2004, 09:09 PM
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=88177&page=2&pp=40&highlight=gucci


Thought this was pretty funny:


Even more disturbing the pictures of Paul wearing Gucci shades ALL OF THE TIME is the horrific picture of Brian in that dress. :shake:

Inspector
05-04-2004, 09:10 PM
Oh, and by the way, while I'm thinking about this....

Don't beat off into electronic gadgets.

You could get hurt and cause rust to appear.........on the electronic gadget, that is.

KcMizzou
05-04-2004, 09:11 PM
Wow. I'm sorry i missed this thread. Looks like it was a classic.

alanm
05-04-2004, 09:16 PM
I want the 10 minutes of my life back after reading this thread.:banghead:

Raiderhader
05-04-2004, 09:17 PM
Wow. I'm sorry i missed this thread. Looks like it was a classic.


I had missed it as well. Glad Iowinian brought it back up, some good stuff here.

ENDelt260
05-04-2004, 09:23 PM
Even more disturbing the pictures of Paul wearing Gucci shades ALL OF THE TIME is the horrific picture of Brian in that dress. :shake:

That's a photoshop job. I'm actually the guy next to the guy in the dress.

http://members.cox.net/bwj/she_he.jpg

Raiderhader
05-04-2004, 09:27 PM
That's a photoshop job. I'm actually the guy next to the guy in the dress.


It was still disturbing, probably because it looked so natural on you......

Ebolapox
05-05-2004, 04:59 PM
.... wonder if Ebola's still on. Can't wait to see if he springs out the Tech N9ne quote that popped into my head when I read this.

belated reply--I got nothin', man

-EBOLA-

Ebolapox
05-05-2004, 05:00 PM
That's a photoshop job. I'm actually the guy next to the guy in the dress.

http://members.cox.net/bwj/she_he.jpg



NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

-EB-

Ebolapox
05-05-2004, 05:06 PM
you guys don't like me because I can talk about things that most people would be embarassed to talk about. I'm comfortable with myself, I'm just more open and that offends most of you because a lot of you are not secure. That's alright though.

and yes, I know, I'm the only person to ever talk about sex on this board or other issues that do not involve football. I'm the only one.

you guys are so hypocritical is makes me laugh.

I know, not a single one of you guys have ever jacked off in your lives, none of you guys have gotten drunk and said or did something stupid.

Nothing bad ever happens to you guys, your lives are GREAT!

YOU ARE TEH ONES WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS!!!

-EB-

ENDelt260
05-13-2004, 06:30 AM
belated reply--I got nothin', man

-EBOLA-
Damn... now I'm gonna have to go look at what the hell post I was replying to to see what I was thinking of.

ENDelt260
05-13-2004, 06:32 AM
belated reply--I got nothin', man

-EBOLA-
Ah... it was "You gotta little beef with me? Well, I got a big fat meatloaf for yo' ass."

Simplex3
05-13-2004, 08:49 AM
Am I the only one that sees the obvious solution to this problem?

1. Sterilize KCChiefsMan. We can't have him accidentally reproducing.

2. Legalize hookers. Who needs a f**king robot when you can try a different chick every night for less money?

Ebolapox
07-14-2004, 05:20 PM
bumpin' the classic threads

-EB-