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royr17
08-20-2004, 07:08 PM
Ok fellows a little help here see theres this girl coming over on monday night, i like her and she likes me.

As i am ashame to say that i am still a virgin but im asking all you fellows that have experienced this what do u tell the girl when u want to have sex with her ?

How do u approach her about it ?

What do u say to her about it ?

Any help would be useful.

Thanks guys.

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 07:09 PM
This ought to be rich.

ENDelt260
08-20-2004, 07:09 PM
You should consult KCChiefsMan. Or gobricks. Those two are master mack daddies.

tk13
08-20-2004, 07:11 PM
Not expecting your dad to come online tonight, eh?.. :)

David.
08-20-2004, 07:11 PM
ROFL funny stuff. The convo should go like this

"Hello"
"Hi"
"Wanna do it?"
"Sure"

Trust me works EVERYTIME.

Rain Man
08-20-2004, 07:11 PM
When I was single, I usually broached the question by asking, "How much?"

David.
08-20-2004, 07:11 PM
You should consult KCChiefsMan. Or gobricks. Those two are master mack daddies.

ROFL

royr17
08-20-2004, 07:12 PM
naw he be on but im wanting a few pointers from guys that have been down this road before, what do u do ?

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:13 PM
Ask? :hmmm:

ROFL

ENDelt260
08-20-2004, 07:13 PM
naw he be on but im wanting a few pointers from guys that have been down this road before

I could be wrong here... but, I think your Dad may have had sex at some point.

David.
08-20-2004, 07:13 PM
naw he be on but im wanting a few pointers from guys that have been down this road before, what do u do ?

ROFL

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 07:14 PM
When I was single, I usually broached the question by asking, "How much?"



ROFL

royr17
08-20-2004, 07:14 PM
Well to me approaching her and seeing want to do it i feel like would get me a slap in a face.

What are some pointers some things i can do to make her wanna do with me ?

DJay23
08-20-2004, 07:14 PM
I'm too mesmerized by David's sigline to respond to the question. :drool:

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:15 PM
About the time you're munchin' the rug, and she's moaning loudly....

that's always a good time. Usually a positive response too.... :thumb:

David.
08-20-2004, 07:15 PM
Well to me approaching her and seeing want to do it i feel like would get me a slap in a face.

What are some pointers some things i can do to make her wanna do with me ?

okay in all seriousness......nah I can't. Ask your pops.

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 07:15 PM
I could be wrong here... but, I think your Dad may have had sex at some point.


I don't know where you would have gotten that idea from.....

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 07:17 PM
When I was single, I usually broached the question by asking, "How much?"
ROFL I'll bet that's right.

PastorMikH
08-20-2004, 07:18 PM
First, you say, "Will You Marry Me"

After she says "yes" and "I Do", then you can beg like most men do.

Count Alex's Wins
08-20-2004, 07:18 PM
Oh dear lord. :LOL:

Valiant
08-20-2004, 07:19 PM
your place or hers...

kiss her when you first see her as a welcome kiss..if she does not pull away you are good to go later on..

later on if 'welcome kiss worked'

music/laughter/ then kiss her agian..if she wants it will follow its course...


or endelt it..leave the bitch at home and go porking as i am told...

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 07:19 PM
First, you say, "Will You Marry Me"

After she says "yes" and "I Do", then you can beg like most men do.


This idea ought to go over well with many of the members.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:20 PM
First, you say, "Will You Marry Me"

After she says "yes" and "I Do", then you can beg like most men do.


ROFL

Jenson71
08-20-2004, 07:20 PM
I don't need to ask. I just knock them out.

David.
08-20-2004, 07:21 PM
I don't need to ask. I just knock them out.

how do you know your own hand out :hmmm: :p

DJay23
08-20-2004, 07:21 PM
ok, i'm better now.

here's the thing dude. my experience (while not as great as ENDelt's, I'm still flying free off my frequent flyer miles) is that you don't ask in these situations. if it happens it happens. just start out with a little making out and let the rest take care of itself. if you come (pun intended) right out after it, especially a youngin, you most likely turn her off, unless she's a nympho, which is like striking oil when digging in a garden.

big nasty kcnut
08-20-2004, 07:22 PM
Well roy tell her if she would like to ride the snake lol j/k

Tell her do you want to do it. If she say yes take it slow and just ask her if she want to do something. Let her control the sex you just go along for the ride.

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 07:22 PM
What? Nobody has mentioned the obvious? Ask Slayer.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:23 PM
Not after she tells you "Aunt Flo is visiting"....definitely NOT then, though.....

Jenson71
08-20-2004, 07:23 PM
how do you know your own hand out :hmmm: :p

Wrap it in ice for twenty minutes.

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 07:23 PM
I'm too mesmerized by David's sigline to respond to the question. :drool:


Thank God! He finally changed it!

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:24 PM
Well roy tell her if she would like to ride the snake lol j/k

Tell her do you want to do it. If she say yes take it slow and just ask her if she want to do something. Let her control the sex you just go along for the ride.

There you go, CP's own Leon..."The Ladie's Man" has spoken.

Take heed. :thumb:

Nut, you forgot the "Kavaseay"

Rain Man
08-20-2004, 07:26 PM
"If you have sex with me, I'll untie you," generally works, but it's also more of a short-term strategy.

DJay23
08-20-2004, 07:26 PM
Thank God! He finally changed it!
I stare at it like i did the one, forget who had it, with the "But their mine!" girl who grabbed her tats.

Logical
08-20-2004, 07:27 PM
Have you tried the "classic"? Wanna F*ck?

royr17
08-20-2004, 07:27 PM
By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

royr17
08-20-2004, 07:29 PM
DOH, i meant g-spot ...

big nasty kcnut
08-20-2004, 07:29 PM
Plus roy remember use protection and make sure she have birth control pills.

After the sex part you make her breakfest or lunch depending on what time you wake up

Logical
08-20-2004, 07:30 PM
By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

I think you might mean the g-spot. I think you two should try to find the vagina before you go looking for needles in a haystack for virgins.

Logical
08-20-2004, 07:31 PM
Plus roy remember use protection and make sure she have birth control pills.

After the sex part you make her breakfest or lunch depending on what time you wake up

Wake up? WTF overROFL

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:31 PM
By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

3/4-1 inch inside the left nostril....usually on the fleshy side.

DJay23
08-20-2004, 07:31 PM
I think you might mean the g-spot. I think you two should try to find the vagina before you go looking for needles in a haystack for virgins.
ROFL

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:32 PM
Wake up? WTF overROFL

No shit; I ain't ever slept in my car after sex..... ROFL

Coach
08-20-2004, 07:33 PM
The old fashioned....

"Hi, nice shoes. Wanna F*ck?"

Logical
08-20-2004, 07:33 PM
No shit; I ain't ever slept in my car after sex..... ROFLROFL

Logical
08-20-2004, 07:34 PM
I knew this thread had potential as comedy gold.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:37 PM
By the way a guy asked me to ask yall if u know where the g-sport is and i dont even have a clue what the g-sport is.

Ok, ok....for real this time; inside the vaginal entrance, 3/4 to 1 inch along the backside of where the clitoris is.....it's a soft-indentation, about dime or nickel sized.

If you push gently three or four times.....you'll know whether you are close; gently massage, in circular motions....clockwise and counter-clockwise, with interruptions to apply direct pressure.

Within a few minutes, you will be rewarded with a puppy....that will follow you around for at least a few weeks.
:thumb:

royr17
08-20-2004, 07:39 PM
so does anybody here have any real pointers of course i am gonna use protection and make sure that shes on birth control.

but is there anything i should really know about that would make her want sex or is there anything i could do that woud make feel good about having sex with me.

as yall know yes i am still a virgin but see i really like this girl and this girl really likes me and i need to know what to do if u can tell that she is getting hot.

keep bringing the pointers plz, thanks.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:39 PM
The old fashioned....

"Hi, nice shoes. Wanna F*ck?"

Or if you are at a dance, you start by...."Would you like to dance?" If yes, during the dance you ask if you "wanna go somewhere?"

If she says no, you say...."then, I guess, a blowjob is out of the question?" Usually she'll rape you right there.

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 07:41 PM
You should consult KCChiefsMan. Or gobricks. Those two are master mack daddies.



Yeah get a hold of them they are da shit when it comes to that subject.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:42 PM
so does anybody here have any real pointers of course i am gonna use protection and make sure that shes on birth control.

but is there anything i should really know about that would make her want sex or is there anything i could do that woud make feel good about having sex with me.

as yall know yes i am still a virgin but see i really like this girl and this girl really likes me and i need to know what to do if u can tell that she is getting hot.

keep bringing the pointers plz, thanks.


47 was real....but that's probably after.....

In all seriousness, you start dating a girl.....you start hangin' out, and eventually nature just takes it's course usually; DON'T be timid about it, but don't be a smuck either....if she kisses back, try second base; if she gives you second, try stealin' third; if you make it to third, and she's still in a good mood and respondin'.....why stop there? It's not rocket science Roy....

Good luck; please report your progress to us back here..... :thumb:

The Bad Guy
08-20-2004, 07:42 PM
Ask her if she wants a fish sandwich.

Then do it in the butt.

(if you haven't seen the movie Ladies Man then this will make zero sense)

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 07:43 PM
so does anybody here have any real pointers of course i am gonna use protection and make sure that shes on birth control.

but is there anything i should really know about that would make her want sex or is there anything i could do that woud make feel good about having sex with me.

as yall know yes i am still a virgin but see i really like this girl and this girl really likes me and i need to know what to do if u can tell that she is getting hot.

keep bringing the pointers plz, thanks.
There are just too many smart asses on here (me included) for you to get a straight answer. Seriously, I would PM Jenny Gump. She knows more about sex than anybody EVAR.

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 07:43 PM
Always eat her pussy out first before you have sex.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:45 PM
Always eat her pussy out first before you have sex.

Quit tryin' to mislead the boy. Roy, you always do that after sex..... :thumb:

Coach
08-20-2004, 07:47 PM
Quit tryin' to mislead the boy. Roy, you always do that after sex..... :thumb:


Especially when you "blow" ya wad no less than 10 seconds, then you may be forced to do that. ROFL

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 07:48 PM
There are just too many smart asses on here (me included) for you to get a straight answer. Seriously, I would PM Jenny Gump. She knows more about sex than anybody EVAR.



I agree, a womens perspective would be a great help to you royr17.

Also you will always remember your first, no matter how many you score with.

Logical
08-20-2004, 07:48 PM
47 was real....but that's probably after.....

In all seriousness, you start dating a girl.....you start hangin' out, and eventually nature just takes it's course usually; DON'T be timid about it, but don't be a smuck either....if she kisses back, try second base; if she gives you second, try stealin' third; if you make it to third, and she's still in a good mood and respondin'.....why stop there? It's not rocket science Roy....

Good luck; please report your progress to us back here..... :thumb:

Oh great now he will take her to a baseball park break in and the next thing you know his dad will be getting a call to bail him out of jail.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 07:50 PM
OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the responses yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:

Cochise
08-20-2004, 07:52 PM
:shake:

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 07:52 PM
Ask? :hmmm:

ROFLThis was posted in jest but as a man who has had quite a bit of success with the ladies I can tell you that asking is the key. You'll be surprised at how many takers you will encounter. Also, don't be afraid to be a bad boy. Girls seem to like that a hell of a lot more than the kind and gentle type.

tk13
08-20-2004, 07:53 PM
OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the resposes yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:
ROFL ROFL

This should be good...

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:53 PM
Oh great now he will take her to a baseball park break in and the next thing you know his dad will be getting a call to bail him out of jail.

What a hoot! ROFL

I can see the headline, "Local Lovebirds break into Kaufman Stadium."

ROFL

Maybe we should tell him it's a metaphor....okay, Roy, listen up:

1st base: Kissing and caressing
2nd base: Inside the bra
3rd base: Inside the pants
"Home": Inside the box....er, "target" shall we say....

Hope this helps; if you need further assistance, ask your dad for his copy of Meatloaf's "Bat Out of Hell"....and cue, "Paradise By the DashBoard Lights."

:thumb:

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 07:54 PM
OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the resposes yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:
Just the usual juvenile BS from us Planet members. Except the one about asking Jenny Gump. That is what he should do.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:58 PM
This was posted in jest but as a man who has had quite a bit of success with the ladies I can tell you that asking is the key. You'll be surprised at how many takers you will encounter. Also, don't be afraid to be a bad boy. Girls seem to like that a hell of a lot more than the kind and gentle type.

I can see it now, Jim:

Jim to Lady Friend...."May I insert my penis into your vagina?"

Lady Friend to Jim..."Why of course; I'm glad you asked. I never would have guessed it from that rock hard bulge you've been pokin me in the stomach with for the past 45 minutes."

JK, Jim.... ;)

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 07:58 PM
Just the usual juvenile BS from us Planet members. Except the one about asking Jenny Gump. That is what he should do.




You can't expect all serious answers on an open forum, do you?

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 07:59 PM
You can't expect all serious answers on an open forum, do you?

Skip's a little Grumpy...and touchy on this subject; HE is still a virgin, you know.....even at his advanced age.

Shhhhhhhhhh!!!! STFU

royr17
08-20-2004, 08:01 PM
Dad is right about one thing Friday Night Comedy in this thread, lol.

Jenny Gump
08-20-2004, 08:02 PM
What are some pointers some things i can do to make her wanna do with me ?

Hypnosis...that and jewelry.

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 08:02 PM
Skip's a little Grumpy...and touchy on this subject; HE is still a virgin, you know.....even at his advanced age.

Shhhhhhhhhh!!!! STFU



Like hes the voice of maturity for the planet, i don't think so.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:04 PM
OK Planeteers, I'm to shocked beyond belief to give a rational response.I may need sometime to recover from the disbelief and sharp pain in my gut from laughing at this . :shake:


Honey, I have a headache, bring the tylenol ! :banghead:

Coach
08-20-2004, 08:04 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/SwedeCarlson/beer.jpg

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:06 PM
OMG ! :rolleyes: Damn, Friday night entertainment !

I haven't began to read the responses yet, matter of fact, I'm not sure if I want too !

Alright, BRB, gotta start from the beginning. :shake:

Eh....just how big a man are you Roy? I mean you aren't like 6'6 and 350 lbs or anything, are you?

....I mean, I was just jokin' with your boy here, and all.....hope you don't wanna open up a can of "whoop azz" on me, or anything. You know?

Friends? Chum? Buddy? :(

:p

stumppy
08-20-2004, 08:06 PM
Hypnosis...that and jewelry.


BINGO!!

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:07 PM
This thread needs PICs..... :hmmm:

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 08:11 PM
I can see it now, Jim:

Jim to Lady Friend...."May I insert my penis into your vagina?"

Lady Friend to Jim..."Why of course; I'm glad you asked. I never would have guessed it from that rock hard bulge you've been pokin me in the stomach with for the past 45 minutes."

JK, Jim.... ;)This is accurate except for two minor issues. First of all I'm never that polite and secondly they always claim that the bulge is poking them in the chin.
:)

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:12 PM
I think we'll waive the 30 day waiting period and send this one straight to the Classics forum.

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 08:13 PM
This is accurate except for two minor issues. First of all I'm never that polite and secondly they always claim that the bulge is poking them in the chin.
:)
Oh, and to difuse the predictable, no I do not date midgets.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:14 PM
Eh....just how big a man are you Roy? I mean you aren't like 6'6 and 350 lbs or anything, are you?

....I mean, I was just jokin' with your boy here, and all.....hope you don't wanna open up a can of "whoop azz" on me, or anything. You know?

Friends? Chum? Buddy? :(

:p


Nope, just 6'4" and 280 # ........


OK III, let me tell ya bout the birds and the bee's .... I think we have touched on this before............. Awh Crap, you and Amy was off to a good start in tha backseat of the car during daylight hours 2 years ago.

Do that again but don't stop, I know you had to cause I told you too, this time I won't be around.

Like the song says, One thing leads to another............

Don't do the Paradise by the dashboard lights, she didn't put out !

Some of the responses here are....... well, let's just say come talk to me 1st before you try some of them....... ROFL

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:15 PM
This is accurate except for two minor issues. First of all I'm never that polite and secondly they always claim that the bulge is poking them in the chin.
:)

No WONDER you have to ask them....with your hips haunched around their face like that, I can't imagine they'd have ever guessed your intentions. They probably mistook it for a toothpick or match in your pocket or something..... :hmmm:

David.
08-20-2004, 08:16 PM
dude my advice was SOLID

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:17 PM
You're from Kentucky and your sisters haven't hooked you up yet?

I'd start there.

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 08:18 PM
No WONDER you have to ask them....with your hips haunched around their face like that, I can't imagine they'd have ever guessed your intentions. They probably mistook it for a toothpick or match in your pocket or something..... :hmmm:
Damn that's cold. ROFL

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:18 PM
Oh, and to difuse the predictable, no I do not date midgets.

Like you'd have a shot anyway....

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:19 PM
WTF ! I was going to get some work done tonight before I leave town, now I'm compelled to uphold the family honor !

Damn, just one of the many things kids will do :hmmm:

Jenny Gump
08-20-2004, 08:20 PM
This was posted in jest but as a man who has had quite a bit of success with the ladies I can tell you that asking is the key. You'll be surprised at how many takers you will encounter. Also, don't be afraid to be a bad boy. Girls seem to like that a hell of a lot more than the kind and gentle type.

Ok...in all seriousness, this is right on the money. In fact, it got me a little hot just reading this.

It's so hard to answer this, you are just a babe, and you still have your virginity, which is a pretty cool thing in my opinion. You probably ought to wait until marriage...etc etc. But if not, your first time really needs to be with someone you can trust. She has to feel comfortable with you. Don't come on too strong, yet don't be a weenie either. Girls that age are worried mostly about having sex with someone who is going to exploit them or make it dirty. Girls don't usually appreciate dirty sex til they are a little older. Heh. One time, I was at this guy's house and....

Nevermind, I am getting a little off the subject.

She needs to know she can trust you. Seriously dude, if she wants to have sex, you will know, because the vibes will be obvious. If you make your move, and she starts screaming NO!, well, that's a good sign, you aren't getting laid.

BIG_DADDY
08-20-2004, 08:20 PM
Two words, titty test. Once your making out with her go for the titty test. If she lets you do that your in.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:21 PM
WTF ! I was going to get some work done tonight before I leave town, now I'm compelled to uphold the family honor !



Please, Roy, tell us that's NOT "Dueling Banjos" I hear in the background...."upholding the family honor? :shake:

:p "

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:21 PM
WTF ! I was going to get some work done tonight before I leave town, now I'm compelled to uphold the family honor !

You might want to cancel your trip, upholding the family honor is gonna take a LOT of damage control.

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 08:21 PM
Like you'd have a shot anyway....
Ummm, well okay then.

Saulbadguy
08-20-2004, 08:21 PM
2 words: Donkey Punch

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 08:22 PM
Oh, and to difuse the predictable, no I do not date midgets.




On the plus side, it would take less alcohol to get them drunk.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:22 PM
OK III, hold off, don't do it..... We can auction you off at the banquet to the Planeteer women, Yep, be the 1st to pop his nut, wadda ya think ? :hmmm:

royr17
08-20-2004, 08:22 PM
well just to let yall know im 20 years old and this chick is 23.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:23 PM
Two words, titty test. Once your making out with her go for the titty test. If she lets you do that your in.

Maybe in Cali....not in the Midwest; there's a custom here, or checkin' at each "base".....some will allow doubles and triples, but like the Royals....forget makin' it to "home."

Big leads from second and third, without any pick-off attempts, and then, BD, you are probably right. Midwest girls just aren't as easy as those Cali girls, sorry dude.
:shake:

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 08:23 PM
2 words: Donkey Punch
ROFL

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:24 PM
OK III, hold off, don't do it..... We can auction you off at the banquet to the Planeteer women, Yep, be the 1st to pop his nut, wadda ya think ? :hmmm:
I'll give $0.50 if you'll forget about this idea and "accidently" leave him at a convenience store on the way.

Jenny Gump
08-20-2004, 08:24 PM
well just to let yall know im 20 years old and this chick is 23.

Oh, well, in that case....

Charm the panties right off her. Damn. I'd hit it.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:24 PM
well just to let yall know im 20 years old and this chick is 23.

And you haven't Boned her, yet; Roy Sr.....we need to talk, man. :shake:

David.
08-20-2004, 08:24 PM
answer the door bottomless. She won't be able to control herself.

Deberg_1990
08-20-2004, 08:25 PM
but like the Royals....forget makin' it to "home."



Hilarious! But your right!

Saulbadguy
08-20-2004, 08:25 PM
Pics of the girl?

royr17
08-20-2004, 08:25 PM
naw dad i think i pass and go with this girl instead. besides the girls coming down this week any way, oh and by the way guys u wanna know good thing about this chick, SHE LIKES FOOTBALL ... yes yes yes.

Coach
08-20-2004, 08:25 PM
If she swings like David's sig picture, then you could be in for a ride of your lifetime.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:26 PM
well just to let yall know im 20 years old and this chick is 23.

DAMN!!!!

She's way too old for you. You need to get her liquored up and leave her outside your old man's room. That kind of service will set you up nicely in your father's will.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:27 PM
And you haven't Boned her, yet; Roy Sr.....we need to talk, man. :shake:



Oh sh*t, please don't go there, there are many things about this situation that doesn't need to be discussed ! Trust me ! :shake:

royr17
08-20-2004, 08:27 PM
Oh, well, in that case....

Charm the panties right off her. Damn. I'd hit it.

Panties ? Oh u meant thongs didnt u !!! :)

Deberg_1990
08-20-2004, 08:27 PM
Oh, well, in that case....

Charm the panties right off her. Damn. I'd hit it.

Jenny..what r u doing hom on a Friday night? shouldnt you be out finding you a man??

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 08:28 PM
Oh sh*t, please don't go there, there are many things about this situation that doesn't need to be discussed ! Trust me ! :shake:
Dammit man, you cannot tease us like this! :banghead:












ROFL

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 08:28 PM
Good lord... ROFL Poor Roy's gonna have 4 grandkids in the next 4 years.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:28 PM
Panties ? Oh u meant thongs didnt u !!! :)

If you're having trouble getting a girl out of her sandals, you can completely forget about anything else....

Jenny Gump
08-20-2004, 08:29 PM
Ok, this is what you do...for real. Get her a little drunk...just tipsy enough to feel good. At the end of the date, if you guys are kind of kissing, and feeling around on each other...start to go up her shirt with your hand but stay outside the bra. Go slowly, so she doesn't feel like you are mauling her. After that, put your hand on her knee, all the while you are kissing. Get her worked up. Then when things are really hot, and really heavy, just pull back, stop kissing and seem a little frustrated. Then, when she asks you what's wrong, just look into her eyes, like you are telling her this big deep dark secret, and say "God, you just turn me on so much. You are so incredible. I want you so bad." Then move in for more kissing. Chances are, you make her feel wanted and show that she blows you away (no pun please) then you may just be home free.

Coach
08-20-2004, 08:29 PM
If you're having trouble getting a girl out of her sandals, you can completely forget about anything else....


Or the trickiest one....her bra. You unhook it successfully, you're in. You unable to unhook it, you're out.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:30 PM
Oh sh*t, please don't go there, there are many things about this situation that doesn't need to be discussed ! Trust me ! :shake:

I'll take your word; and back away respectfully, then.... :thumb:

BIG_DADDY
08-20-2004, 08:30 PM
Maybe in Cali....not in the Midwest; there's a custom here, or checkin' at each "base".....some will allow doubles and triples, but like the Royals....forget makin' it to "home."

Big leads from second and third, without any pick-off attempts, and then, BD, you are probably right. Midwest girls just aren't as easy as those Cali girls, sorry dude.
:shake:

I've never had a girl turn post 16 turn me down after passing the titty test. That's Cali, Oregon, Colorado and Florida. Sure it's not you? :p

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:30 PM
Good lord... ROFL Poor Roy's gonna have 4 grandkids in the next 4 years.


Oh Dear Lord No..... I have 5 now ! STFU

Deberg_1990
08-20-2004, 08:30 PM
Ok, this is what you do...for real. Get her a little drunk...just tipsy enough to feel good. At the end of the date, if you guys are kind of kissing, and feeling around on each other...start to go up her shirt with your hand but stay outside the bra. Go slowly, so she doesn't feel like you are mauling her. After that, put your hand on her knee, all the while you are kissing. Get her worked up. Then when things are really hot, and really heavy, just pull back, stop kissing and seem a little frustrated. Then, when she asks you what's wrong, just look into her eyes, like you are telling her this big deep dark secret, and say "God, you just turn me on so much. You are so incredible. I want you so bad." Then move in for more kissing. Chances are, you make her feel wanted and show that she blows you away (no pun please) then you may just be home free.

Whoa Jenny!! Arnt there chat rooms on AOL and Yahoo for these kinds of stories??? LOL

Jenny Gump
08-20-2004, 08:31 PM
Jenny..what r u doing hom on a Friday night? shouldnt you be out finding you a man??

I have a man. He just isn't here tonight. :banghead: Besides, I have homework to whittle away on.

David.
08-20-2004, 08:32 PM
Or the trickiest one....her bra. You unhook it successfully, you're in. You unable to unhook it, you're out.

bring scissors

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 08:32 PM
If my kid ever does this.. I'll beat him. This is something he should talk about with his friends... not mine. :p

BIG_DADDY
08-20-2004, 08:32 PM
Ok, this is what you do...for real. Get her a little drunk...just tipsy enough to feel good. At the end of the date, if you guys are kind of kissing, and feeling around on each other...start to go up her shirt with your hand but stay outside the bra. Go slowly, so she doesn't feel like you are mauling her. After that, put your hand on her knee, all the while you are kissing. Get her worked up. Then when things are really hot, and really heavy, just pull back, stop kissing and seem a little frustrated. Then, when she asks you what's wrong, just look into her eyes, like you are telling her this big deep dark secret, and say "God, you just turn me on so much. You are so incredible. I want you so bad." Then move in for more kissing. Chances are, you make her feel wanted and show that she blows you away (no pun please) then you may just be home free.

Great, I need to take a cold shower now. :cuss:

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:33 PM
Ok, this is what you do...for real. Get her a little drunk...just tipsy enough to feel good. At the end of the date, if you guys are kind of kissing, and feeling around on each other...start to go up her shirt with your hand but stay outside the bra. Go slowly, so she doesn't feel like you are mauling her. After that, put your hand on her knee, all the while you are kissing. Get her worked up. Then when things are really hot, and really heavy, just pull back, stop kissing and seem a little frustrated. Then, when she asks you what's wrong, just look into her eyes, like you are telling her this big deep dark secret, and say "God, you just turn me on so much. You are so incredible. I want you so bad." Then move in for more kissing. Chances are, you make her feel wanted and show that she blows you away (no pun please) then you may just be home free.

So, you are sayin'...."Ya Wanna Scrog?" doesn't work anymore? :hmmm:

royr17
08-20-2004, 08:33 PM
Naw Phob she not too old for me i would date somebody even if they was 25 but i would only go up to dating somebody that is 5 years older than me u may think its crazy but its true.

David.
08-20-2004, 08:33 PM
Great, I need to take a cold shower now. :cuss:

you wish a guy would treat you that good Big Guy?? :thailor: Anton may be around here somewhere.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:33 PM
Ok, this is what you do...for real. Get her a little drunk...just tipsy enough to feel good. At the end of the date, if you guys are kind of kissing, and feeling around on each other...start to go up her shirt with your hand but stay outside the bra. Go slowly, so she doesn't feel like you are mauling her. After that, put your hand on her knee, all the while you are kissing. Get her worked up. Then when things are really hot, and really heavy, just pull back, stop kissing and seem a little frustrated. Then, when she asks you what's wrong, just look into her eyes, like you are telling her this big deep dark secret, and say "God, you just turn me on so much. You are so incredible. I want you so bad." Then move in for more kissing. Chances are, you make her feel wanted and show that she blows you away (no pun please) then you may just be home free.



Jenny...........

He needs sex education classes, you still teaching ? If so, let me know, I'll get him enrolled !

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 08:35 PM
Whoa, whoa... wait. Roy jr. is 20??? Hell, man you should have had this all figured out years ago. I assumed you were like 16. I thought we were corrupting you.

Hell, we're just getting you up to speed.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:36 PM
I've never had a girl turn post 16 turn me down after passing the titty test. That's Cali, Oregon, Colorado and Florida. Sure it's not you? :p

Could be, I guess....All I know, there were many girls who let guys to second, but made you "earn" third and "home."

I was also somewhat selective about who I pursued too.....if she has "Fukk Me" tatooed on her forhead, well.....I tended to pass on those. My medical coverage wasn't real good, and antibiotics are damn expensive....

tk13
08-20-2004, 08:37 PM
Jenny...........

He needs sex education classes, you still teaching ? If so, let me know, I'll get him enrolled !
I'd like to enroll too. Is there a "lab section" where we get to practice the theories we are taught in class with the teacher?

BIG_DADDY
08-20-2004, 08:37 PM
Could be, I guess....All I know, there were many girls who let guys to second, but I was somewhat selective about who I pursue too.....if she has "Fukk Me" tatooed on her forhead, well.....I tended to pass on those. My medical coverage wasn't real good, and antibiotics are damn expensive....

Only had a couple girls with any tattoo's, I guess working in health clubs helped too.

Deberg_1990
08-20-2004, 08:38 PM
Naw Phob she not too old for me i would date somebody even if they was 25 but i would only go up to dating somebody that is 5 years older than me u may think its crazy but its true.

nah.go for the 30 something chicks.....they have lots of experience...could teach you a few things....

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 08:39 PM
Ok, this is what you do...for real. Get her a little drunk...just tipsy enough to feel good. At the end of the date, if you guys are kind of kissing, and feeling around on each other...start to go up her shirt with your hand but stay outside the bra. Go slowly, so she doesn't feel like you are mauling her. After that, put your hand on her knee, all the while you are kissing. Get her worked up. Then when things are really hot, and really heavy, just pull back, stop kissing and seem a little frustrated. Then, when she asks you what's wrong, just look into her eyes, like you are telling her this big deep dark secret, and say "God, you just turn me on so much. You are so incredible. I want you so bad." Then move in for more kissing. Chances are, you make her feel wanted and show that she blows you away (no pun please) then you may just be home free.




Print this out to use as a cheat sheet through the date.

BIG_DADDY
08-20-2004, 08:39 PM
you wish a guy would treat you that good Big Guy?? :thailor: Anton may be around here somewhere.

beer me left, said my wiener wasn't big enough.

Anton
08-20-2004, 08:39 PM
you wish a guy would treat you that good Big Guy?? :thailor: Anton may be around here somewhere.

Someone call? Are you game, BD?

Jenny Gump
08-20-2004, 08:40 PM
Oops, she's 23, and you are 20? I guess I should rephrase this part...

"Get her a little drunk, after she buys your beer...."

tk13
08-20-2004, 08:40 PM
Someone call? Are you game, BD?
I think the more appropriate question was "Are you gayme?"

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 08:40 PM
Could be, I guess....All I know, there were many girls who let guys to second, but made you "earn" third and "home."







Thats the truth.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:41 PM
Hot Damn............

Now this girls cousin is coming over too ? Visions of a 3 some is dancing in his head(s). :shake:

OK, with the wife sick again and at the hospital for 4 hours today, I may have to cancel this trip :hmmm:

BTW III, If I still go, Mom will be home and you know that kind of stuff is taboo with her ! ROFL

JimNasium
08-20-2004, 08:42 PM
nah.go for the 30 something chicks.....they have lots of experience...could teach you a few things....
Yep, that's good advice. They know exactly what to do with you and typically are not afraid to instruct. I ran into these occassionally in my 20s.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 08:45 PM
BTW III, If I still go, Mom will be home and you know that kind of stuff is taboo with her ! ROFL

Mom's gotta ruin the boys fun, don't they....

(BTW, in all seriousness, hope this is a minor setback for the wife. God Bless ya, man.)

The Naked Chef
08-20-2004, 08:45 PM
Ok fellows a little help here see theres this girl coming over on monday night, i like her and she likes me.

As i am ashame to say that i am still a virgin but im asking all you fellows that have experienced this what do u tell the girl when u want to have sex with her ?

How do u approach her about it ?

What do u say to her about it ?

Any help would be useful.

Thanks guys.


What a loser! ROFL

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 08:47 PM
What a loser! ROFL


Naw, he's unique ! :thumb:

Phobia
08-20-2004, 08:50 PM
What a loser! ROFL

Listen very carefully, please.

You don't know this kid. You don't know a thing about him. Most of us do. We can have fun at his expense without completely disrespecting him. You can't expect to jump into this community with your first post like that and be accepted. Very disappointing for a noob.

Despite that, welcome to the board. I hope you can make amends and enjoy your time at this great site.

Bob Dole
08-20-2004, 08:52 PM
At the risk of repeating Bob Dole's self...

"Want to go in halves on a bastard?"

Count Alex's Wins
08-20-2004, 08:59 PM
royr17, where did you meet these chicks?

Phobia
08-20-2004, 09:01 PM
royr17, where did you meet these chicks?

Haven't you ever been to a family reunion in Kentucky?

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 09:02 PM
Like hes the voice of maturity for the planet, i don't think so.
Hell, I don't claim maturity. I hope I never mature. But I'll bet I've had more women than anybody on the Planet. Of course I've had a head start due to my age. That and I spent a year in Korea. They only charged $3 and I went to town every night. Do the math.

Count Alex's Wins
08-20-2004, 09:02 PM
Haven't you ever been to a family reunion in Kentucky?

OMG ROFL

Count Alex's Wins
08-20-2004, 09:04 PM
I spent a year in Korea. They only charged $3 and I went to town every night. Do the math.

Rough estimate on the number of korean "love me long time" you received?

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 09:05 PM
Haven't you ever been to a family reunion in Kentucky?



They call it date night down there.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 09:05 PM
They only charged $3 and I went to town every night. Do the math.

Holy shit!

60 minutes/30 seconds = 120 GI's

120 x $3 = $360 an hour

Now, I realize this was in the 30's, but that's pretty good mon-ay for a whore back then.

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 09:07 PM
Hell, I don't claim maturity. I hope I never mature. But I'll bet I've had more women than anybody on the Planet. Of course I've had a head start due to my age. That and I spent a year in Korea. They only charged $3 and I went to town every night. Do the math.




I don't have enough numbers given to get a starting point to get my calculator out.

tk13
08-20-2004, 09:08 PM
Holy shit!

60 minutes/30 seconds = 120 GI's

120 x $3 = $360 an hour

Now, I realize this was in the 30's, but that's pretty good mon-ay for a whore back then.
Kinda defines "The Great Depression", eh?

royr17
08-20-2004, 09:09 PM
Well guys thanks for any of the advice yall gave me.

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 09:09 PM
Ok...in all seriousness, this is right on the money. In fact, it got me a little hot just reading this.

It's so hard to answer this, you are just a babe, and you still have your virginity, which is a pretty cool thing in my opinion. You probably ought to wait until marriage...etc etc. But if not, your first time really needs to be with someone you can trust. She has to feel comfortable with you. Don't come on too strong, yet don't be a weenie either. Girls that age are worried mostly about having sex with someone who is going to exploit them or make it dirty. Girls don't usually appreciate dirty sex til they are a little older. Heh. One time, I was at this guy's house and....

Nevermind, I am getting a little off the subject.

She needs to know she can trust you. Seriously dude, if she wants to have sex, you will know, because the vibes will be obvious. If you make your move, and she starts screaming NO!, well, that's a good sign, you aren't getting laid.
See, I was right, you just needed to ask Jenny. I'd have told you the same thing but it was too long ago and I can't remember.

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 09:10 PM
Haven't you ever been to a family reunion in Kentucky?



Hey, don't knock it, almost all family reunions have at least a hot chick or two ! :p

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 09:11 PM
Hey, don't knock it, almost all family reunions have at least a hot chick or two ! :p



Even if she is toothless.

Jenny Gump
08-20-2004, 09:12 PM
Roy, go to Askmen.com ....they have some great sex articles with real question/answer. Plus, there are pics of babes there too. You might learn a lot.

And...remember, it's "G---S-P-O-T", not sport.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 09:13 PM
Hey, don't knock it, almost all family reunions have at least a hot chick or two ! :p

Yeah, and if you used to change their diapers you get first dibs.

tk13
08-20-2004, 09:17 PM
And...remember, it's "G---S-P-O-T", not sport.

I don't know, if you do it right (or wrong I guess in some cases), you can turn hunting for it into a sport... :D

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 09:18 PM
One day when I have kids, they won't be allowed to post on the Planet.

Infact, I think I'll just keep them off the net period so that they don't stumble across this place.


On a totally unrelated note, what in the hell is this best of the west coalition link at the bottom of the page? Why is it on my Planet, and when did it get here?

The Naked Chef
08-20-2004, 09:18 PM
Listen very carefully, please.

You don't know this kid. You don't know a thing about him. Most of us do. We can have fun at his expense without completely disrespecting him. You can't expect to jump into this community with your first post like that and be accepted. Very disappointing for a noob.

Despite that, welcome to the board. I hope you can make amends and enjoy your time at this great site.

Let me say this. It's really hard to listen to something when your reading a thread, or a response to a thread. So, I didnt really listen very carefully. So STFU. I know enough to know that if you have to ask a question about getting a female into bed, your a loser. It doesnt matter who you are, or how much I know about you. Just get the girl drunk, that'll get her into bed fast. ROFL

tk13
08-20-2004, 09:21 PM
Let me say this. It's really hard to listen to something when your reading a thread, or a response to a thread. So, I didnt really listen very carefully. So STFU. I know enough to know that if you have to ask a question about getting a female into bed, your a loser. It doesnt matter who you are, or how much I know about you. Just get the girl drunk, that'll get her into bed fast. ROFL
That's a good way to introduce yourself to a bulletin board, make fun of somebody that everybody likes and then tell an adminstrator to shut up... ROFL

You don't go to a party and immediately teabag all the guys then tell the host to go F themselves, do you?

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 09:21 PM
Let me say this. It's really hard to listen to something when your reading a thread, or a response to a thread. So, I didnt really listen very carefully. So STFU. I know enough to know that if you have to ask a question about getting a female into bed, your a loser. It doesnt matter who you are, or how much I know about you. Just get the girl drunk, that'll get her into bed fast. ROFL


Seriously dude, you are out of line on this.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 09:21 PM
Well guys thanks for any of the advice yall gave me.

On a serious note, I'll give you some advice Roy.

A lot of chicks fall for a suave dude who could pose for women's magazines. Other chicks like a bad boy. Let's face it. Neither of us are that kind of dude.

You just have to let nature take her course. Of course a guy who has some experience with the ladies is going to be a little more smooth about getting into her pants. You don't. Every guy has been where you are at least once. Most of them didn't know who to ask for guidance or were to proud to do so. If I had an older brother, I wish he had told me to eat at the "Y" more often. I didn't discover that pleasure until after a few girlfriends and failed conquests. So, if you get all the way to 3rd base - as an inexperienced lover - I would say your chances of scoring are greatly increased if you give her oral pleasure.

Don't be afraid to ask a girl if she's enjoying something you are doing to her. Women are all different. You can't expect one woman to enjoy something just because it was successful on a different lady.

If all else fails, play the virgin card. There are a lot of girls who get off on popping a dude's cherry - unless she's a virgin too. Then you're screwed, errrr - you know what I mean.

Best of luck, little buddy. You may want to throw an ice pack in the freezer for later.

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 09:22 PM
Let me say this. It's really hard to listen to something when your reading a thread, or a response to a thread. So, I didnt really listen very carefully. So STFU. I know enough to know that if you have to ask a question about getting a female into bed, your a loser. It doesnt matter who you are, or how much I know about you. Just get the girl drunk, that'll get her into bed fast. ROFL Well, you were asked nicely... Nice knowin' ya.

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 09:23 PM
Jenny...........

He needs sex education classes, you still teaching ? If so, let me know, I'll get him enrolled !
There's a class? Could you send me an enrollment form? Maybe things have changed since the 50's.

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 09:23 PM
On a totally unrelated note, what in the hell is this best of the west coalition link at the bottom of the page? Why is it on my Planet, and when did it get here?



I noticed that a few days ago as well, and clicked on it. I think its advertising, you click on it and the Chiefsplanet administration get a small kickback, i surmised.

The Naked Chef
08-20-2004, 09:24 PM
That's a good way to introduce yourself a bulletin board, make fun of somebody that everybody likes and then tell an adminstrator to shut up... ROFL


How should I know he's an admin? Its not stated anywhere. I just thought he was some guy talking smack. It doesnt bother me anyway. If I were to get banned for something of this like, then I dont want to be here anyway. I thought this was a place were KC fans across the US can come to unite but, I guess its not.

Fairplay
08-20-2004, 09:26 PM
How should I know he's an admin? Its not stated anywhere. I just thought he was some guy talking smack. It doesnt bother me anyway. If I were to get banned for something of this like, then I dont want to be here anyway. I thought this was a place were KC fans across the US can come to unite but, I guess its not.



He won't ban you, hes just telling you to chill out a bit.

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 09:26 PM
I noticed that a few days ago as well, and clicked on it. I think its advertising, you click on it and the Chiefsplanet administration get a small kickback, i surmised. It has links to BB's for all the AFCW teams. Something new... I kinda like it.

tk13
08-20-2004, 09:27 PM
How should I know he's an admin? Its not stated anywhere. I just thought he was some guy talking smack. It doesnt bother me anyway. If I were to get banned for something of this like, then I dont want to be here anyway. I thought this was a place were KC fans across the US can come to unite but, I guess its not.
Oh yes, I always like to "unite" with my fellow Chiefs fans by calling them losers... that's a brilliant strategy.

tk13
08-20-2004, 09:28 PM
Hey KcMizzou, you're a loser!

Will you be my friend? :D

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 09:29 PM
Hey KcMizzou, you're a loser!

Will you be my friend? :D But of course. Tea and crumpets at noon?

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 09:30 PM
beer me left, said my wiener wasn't big enough.
Real nice, dickhead. This is becoming a joke. OK, I'll go along with it.

tk13
08-20-2004, 09:31 PM
But of course. Tea and crumpets at noon?
Bloody right! I'll be driving my Healy and my teeth will be unbrushed... ROFL

Logical
08-20-2004, 09:31 PM
Naw Phob she not too old for me i would date somebody even if they was 25 but i would only go up to dating somebody that is 5 years older than me u may think its crazy but its true.

kcnut, let royr17 go.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 09:35 PM
I noticed that a few days ago as well, and clicked on it. I think its advertising, you click on it and the Chiefsplanet administration get a small kickback, i surmised.

Nah. Nothing like that. It is just a coalition of 4 AFC West website. Basically, it's a ploy to encourage interaction (and increased traffic) between the sites. It was added last night.

stumppy
08-20-2004, 09:37 PM
Ok, this is what you do...for real. Get her a little drunk...just tipsy enough to feel good. At the end of the date, if you guys are kind of kissing, and feeling around on each other...start to go up her shirt with your hand but stay outside the bra. Go slowly, so she doesn't feel like you are mauling her. After that, put your hand on her knee, all the while you are kissing. Get her worked up. Then when things are really hot, and really heavy, just pull back, stop kissing and seem a little frustrated. Then, when she asks you what's wrong, just look into her eyes, like you are telling her this big deep dark secret, and say "God, you just turn me on so much. You are so incredible. I want you so bad." Then move in for more kissing. Chances are, you make her feel wanted and show that she blows you away (no pun please) then you may just be home free.


As others have mentioned, print this out and study it like it's a cheat sheet for the entry into paradise.
One other suggestion, you might actually practice what you are going to say. Say it out loud. Make sure the way it sounds when you say it comes across as very honest and sincere!
Oh yea, one other thing. when she gets there, be sure and compliment her on her looks right off the bat. Just to get things headed in the right direction.:thumb:
If everything works out ok you won't be able to slap the smile off of your face for about a week. Good luck.

The Naked Chef
08-20-2004, 09:39 PM
Oh yes, I always like to "unite" with my fellow Chiefs fans by calling them losers... that's a brilliant strategy.


Just because your a KC fan doesnt mean you cant be a loser. I'm sure there are plenty here on the board.

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 09:41 PM
Kinda defines "The Great Depression", eh?
It didn't seem like a depression at the time. In fact, it felt kinda good.

tk13
08-20-2004, 09:44 PM
It didn't seem like a depression at the time. In fact, it felt kinda good.
Well I mean depression as in "hole" or "sunken area"... you know, like... well, you know... it was a reach.

Bob Dole
08-20-2004, 09:44 PM
It didn't seem like a depression at the time. In fact, it felt kinda good.

Oh come on...you're sharper than that.

It loses something when it's phrased as, "Kind of defined a warm, wet hairy, hole, eh?"

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 09:46 PM
As others have mentioned, print this out and study it like it's a cheat sheet for the entry into paradise.
One other suggestion, you might actually practice what you are going to say. Say it out loud. Make sure the way it sounds when you say it comes across as very honest and sincere!
Oh yea, one other thing. when she gets there, be sure and compliment her on her looks right off the bat. Just to get things headed in the right direction.:thumb:
If everything works out ok you won't be able to slap the smile off of your face for about a week. Good luck.
No shit, Stumppy, Jenny is pure gold ain't she? I wish I'd known someone like her when I was 18.

Raiderhader
08-20-2004, 09:46 PM
Just because your a KC fan doesnt mean you cant be a loser. I'm sure there are plenty here on the board.



Were you by chance looking in a mirror when you typed this?

The Naked Chef
08-20-2004, 09:50 PM
Were you by chance looking in a mirror when you typed this?


No I wasn't. Its kinda hard to look at mirror when your sitting infront of a computer screen.

Skip Towne
08-20-2004, 09:56 PM
Oh come on...you're sharper than that.

It loses something when it's phrased as, "Kind of defined a warm, wet hairy, hole, eh?"
That's really strange, it was that way in the 50's as well. The more things change the more they stay the same. I'll bet it was the same way 10,000 years ago. The cavemen probably followed their dick around much like we do today. Ya think?

JazzzLovr
08-20-2004, 09:59 PM
Just because your a KC fan doesnt mean you cant be a loser.

We get your point. You can quit trying so hard to demonstrate it yourself now. Thanks.

morphius
08-20-2004, 10:12 PM
Haven't you ever been to a family reunion in Kentucky?
I'm so disappointed it took 145 posts before anyone even typed this, so sad.

Over-Head
08-20-2004, 10:17 PM
Say something that lets her know what you want without beating around the bush....
..."Brace yer self, i'm commen in dry!" :thumb:

royr17
08-20-2004, 10:18 PM
so does anybody have anymore pointers for me if not than thanks for all of the pointers.

Over-Head
08-20-2004, 10:20 PM
Honestly is the best policy. Tell her you like her, and go from there.
BE YOURSELF, don’t act like someone your not, and when the time comes and things are looking good that you just might get lucky…Be honest and tell her it’s your first time.
Trust me, she won’t laugh if she’s any kind of considerate person.
And wrap yer sausage if ya know what I mean.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 10:21 PM
I'm so disappointed it took 145 posts before anyone even typed this, so sad.

I tried the sister angle much earlier but nobody bit on that one.

morphius
08-20-2004, 10:23 PM
so does anybody have anymore pointers for me if not than thanks for all of the pointers.
Just do what ever you can to let her know how special you think she is, other then that, just go with the flow.

The best bowling advise I ever got was, "Think Smooth". That doesn't just work in bowling.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 10:27 PM
Oh yea, one other thing. when she gets there, be sure and compliment her on her looks right off the bat. Just to get things headed in the right direction.:thumb:

Just don't lay it on too thickly.... If she's not an attractive woman, chances are that she is well aware of it. If you're going on and on about how great she looks, she'll see right through that crap. A subtle compliment is sometimes more effective than bullshit anyway. If she smells like she just got done with a 10k, don't comment on her perfume. Hold your breath and dive.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 10:34 PM
Let me say this. It's really hard to listen to something when your reading a thread, or a response to a thread. So, I didnt really listen very carefully. So STFU. I know enough to know that if you have to ask a question about getting a female into bed, your a loser. It doesnt matter who you are, or how much I know about you. Just get the girl drunk, that'll get her into bed fast. ROFL

This ought to be good.... ROFL

Go, Phil....

ROYC75
08-20-2004, 10:35 PM
I tried the sister angle much earlier but nobody bit on that one.


Actually I did, but I left it alone. But in another way, his youngest sister does have a few hot friends, but like he said, to him they are too old ?

Phobia
08-20-2004, 10:38 PM
so does anybody have anymore pointers for me if not than thanks for all of the pointers.

well it impotant to understan that woman like fourplay if you want try get four fingers in there it help you when you want to get you big unit up in it at least that what I do

Phobia
08-20-2004, 10:38 PM
This ought to be good.... ROFL

Go, Phil....

Nah, I think TNC and I reached an understanding privately.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 10:45 PM
Nah, I think TNC and I reached an understanding privately.


Cool....I seem to remember a similar incident about three years ago with some azzhole troll who came here to mess with people :banghead:

And now has about 8,000 posts here.... :rolleyes:

:)

Over-Head
08-20-2004, 10:46 PM
And remember one thing in life….no woman will ever admit to enough foreplay!

Your close when she say's ok,,,NOW and has a crazed look on her face. :thumb:

Count Alex's Wins
08-20-2004, 10:47 PM
We will be needing a recap on what happens of course.

tk13
08-20-2004, 10:48 PM
Cool....I seem to remember a similar incident about three years ago with some azzhole troll who came here to mess with people :banghead:

And now has about 8,000 posts here.... :rolleyes:

:)
Man, really, there's no need to pick on the Pastor... :)

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 10:50 PM
Man, really, there's no need to pick on the Pastor... :)

Him too, eh? :hmmm:

ROFL

Phobia
08-20-2004, 10:50 PM
Cool....I seem to remember a similar incident about three years ago with some azzhole troll who came here to mess with people :banghead:

And now has about 8,000 posts here.... :rolleyes:

:)

Really? I guess I don't recall that. Did I PM you or something?

morphius
08-20-2004, 10:54 PM
We will be needing a recap on what happens of course.
I can't even imagine being in ROYC's place right now...

Of course anyone who listen's to a guy that has done nothing but turn down (other) women for the last 15 years is in pretty bad shape.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 10:55 PM
Really? I guess I don't recall that. Did I PM you or something?

Yeah, I wasn't quite over the top....but you "politely" put me in my place. :)

I came over to troll for TJ, Denise, and a few others who I thought were idiots for various reasons. After gettin' to "know" them a bit, they aren't quite "idiots"....well, not BIG idiots anyway....so your advice was good.

We never stop learning....even us "older" farts.

Cntrygal
08-20-2004, 10:56 PM
This thread needs PICs..... :hmmm:


of roy? wouldn't that be kiddie porn? :eek:

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 10:57 PM
of roy? wouldn't that be kiddie porn? :eek:

:rolleyes:

No, of Roy's 23 yr old love interest, silly.... :shake:

Phobia
08-20-2004, 10:58 PM
so your advice was good.

I find that hard to believe.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 11:02 PM
I find that hard to believe.

Me too.... ROFL

Cntrygal
08-20-2004, 11:03 PM
well just to let yall know im 20 years old and this chick is 23.




okay.. nevermind. disregard my previous post.

royr17
08-20-2004, 11:03 PM
I can't even imagine being in ROYC's place right now...

Of course anyone who listen's to a guy that has done nothing but turn down (other) women for the last 15 years is in pretty bad shape.

I dont know if u are referring to me as turning down woman but see the chicks down here im not there type if u aint a bad boy or someone who is a pimp or has a bunch of muscles than u arent there type cause they like guys that have alot of muscles and i dont have the muscles.

plus im not skinny anymore when i was skinny there use to be so many girls attracted to me, but everysince i put on that weight they dont like me anymore so i've been trying to find a girl to like me for who i am.

as far as me turning down girls let me make it very clear IM SHY yea that right whenever i get around a girl i chicked out cause my shyness so thats also part of the reason why i am still a virgin.

but hopefully that will change on monday, hehe.

Loki
08-20-2004, 11:10 PM
Ok fellows a little help here see theres this girl coming over on monday night, i like her and she likes me.

As i am ashame to say that i am still a virgin but im asking all you fellows that have experienced this what do u tell the girl when u want to have sex with her ?

How do u approach her about it ?

What do u say to her about it ?

Any help would be useful.

Thanks guys.


for starters... calm the hell down and relax!!! if you're this uptight when she comes over, you'll NEVER get any.

don't be ashamed of being a virgin. that's your first and biggest mistake. so what if you're still a virgin? everyone is a virgin at some point in time right? quit putting the pressure on yourself about that. SO F*CKING WHAT??!!

listen, if you like this girl and she likes you, you're part of the way there. secondly, she's already agreed to come to your place. so just relax. the "innuendo" is already there. she wouldn't agree to come visit you if the thought of sex wasn't already there. just relax and try to be comfortable with her and make her feel comfortable being with you. the rest will happen from there.

have fun and good luck! :thumb:

Phobia
08-20-2004, 11:12 PM
I dont know if u are referring to me as turning down woman but see the chicks down here im not there type if u aint a bad boy or someone who is a pimp or has a bunch of muscles than u arent there type cause they like guys that have alot of muscles and i dont have the muscles.

plus im not skinny anymore when i was skinny there use to be so many girls attracted to me, but everysince i put on that weight they dont like me anymore so i've been trying to find a girl to like me for who i am.



Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit

I'm a fatass who used to have a lot of muscles. I got just as much fine tail as a fatass as I did as a lean hardbody. You just gotta find your niche with the ladies. Confidence is huge.

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:13 PM
I dont know if u are referring to me as turning down woman but see the chicks down here im not there type if u aint a bad boy or someone who is a pimp or has a bunch of muscles than u arent there type cause they like guys that have alot of muscles and i dont have the muscles.

plus im not skinny anymore when i was skinny there use to be so many girls attracted to me, but everysince i put on that weight they dont like me anymore so i've been trying to find a girl to like me for who i am.

as far as me turning down girls let me make it very clear IM SHY yea that right whenever i get around a girl i chicked out cause my shyness so thats also part of the reason why i am still a virgin.

but hopefully that will change on monday, hehe.
No, no. I was talking about me. I met my wife when I was 16, had sex with her a bit into the relationship. Since then I have had to turn down more then a couple women. Though, like you, since I have put on a bit of weight, I haven't had anyone to even turn down. Which is actually nice, because I always felt bad. Some stupid nice guy disease thing.

tk13
08-20-2004, 11:14 PM
Me too.... ROFL
Yeah, when I first joined, Phob had some weird advice for me too...

KPhobia: Hey man, welcome to the board.

tk80: Thanks man, good to be here.

KPhobia: Let me let you in on a little secret.

tk80: Okay...

KPhobia: If you really want to get people around here to like you, here's a few tips... you don't always have to really be yourself, you don't always have to tell the truth. What the people around here like is somebody who's a little geeky, if you like Star Wars you'll be a big hit. A lot of guys here also don't really get laid a lot, so if you act like you've never done it that's a plus. I mean really play it up, act like you've never gotten any... and say you do stupid stuff like drive around the block at parties but refuse to go in. And we have a lot of members from Kentucky, so any feigned attraction to siblings is a plus.

tk80: Interesting... anything else?

KPhobia: Oh yeah, here at ChiefsPlanet we really have no spamming rules, just feel free to post whatever is on your mind all the time, just go crazy. Good luck.

I just kinda brushed it off. I'm not sure if he ever gave that advice to anybody else or not....

philfree
08-20-2004, 11:15 PM
This thread is worthless with out pictures.


PhilFree :arrow:

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:16 PM
Confidence is huge.

This is very true, royr...

Phobia
08-20-2004, 11:17 PM
Yeah, when I first joined, Phob had some weird advice for me too...



I just kinda brushed it off... I'm not sure if he ever gave that advice to anybody else or not....

Yeah, I had forgotten all about that. Usually I tell people to post a few cartoon strips about ChiefsPlanet or the Chiefs. That is unusually effective.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 11:17 PM
Yeah, when I first joined, Phob had some weird advice for me too...



I just kinda brushed it off... I'm not sure if he ever gave that advice to anybody else or not....

Damn, Phil must hate you....gotk13

Loki
08-20-2004, 11:19 PM
I dont know if u are referring to me as turning down woman but see the chicks down here im not there type if u aint a bad boy or someone who is a pimp or has a bunch of muscles than u arent there type cause they like guys that have alot of muscles and i dont have the muscles.

plus im not skinny anymore when i was skinny there use to be so many girls attracted to me, but everysince i put on that weight they dont like me anymore so i've been trying to find a girl to like me for who i am.

as far as me turning down girls let me make it very clear IM SHY yea that right whenever i get around a girl i chicked out cause my shyness so thats also part of the reason why i am still a virgin.

but hopefully that will change on monday, hehe.

i'm sorry about this dude, but the "shy" thing is a total cop-out.
also trying to find reasons that you're "inadequate" ie: non-pimp, non-musclehead, non-tuffguy, non-whatever, is a cop out as well.

this is the deal:
so i've been trying to find a girl to like me for who i am
you're obviously looking in the wrong places at the wrong chicks. there are plenty of girls out there man. get some nads and go talk to them. they won't bite (unless you like that sort of thing ;) )

they're just girls... nothing that scary about them.

Bob Dole
08-20-2004, 11:19 PM
Confidence is huge.

She told you what Bob Dole named it?

Bitch.

JazzzLovr
08-20-2004, 11:20 PM
She told you what Bob Dole named it?

Bitch.

ROFL

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 11:21 PM
... Though, like you, since I have put on a bit of weight, I haven't had anyone to even turn down. Which is actually nice, because I always felt bad. Some stupid nice guy disease thing.

Damn, I knew I loved this place for a reason!

New rationalization: My state of being "too short for my weight" is a self-defense mechanism to avoid having to hurt chick's feelings....since I'm married, I'd have to turn them down--but I don't want to hurt their feelings, so I'll get fat...and they won't like me anymore.

Damn, Morph, thanks. :)

Bowser
08-20-2004, 11:22 PM
She told you what Bob Dole named it?

Bitch.

Cocque humor is teh rep!!
ROFL

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:25 PM
Damn, I knew I loved this place for a reason!

New rationalization: My state of being "too short for my weight" is a self-defense mechanism to avoid having to hurt chick's feelings....since I'm married, I'd have to turn them down--but I don't want to hurt their feelings, so I'll get fat...and they won't like me anymore.

Damn, Morph, thanks. :)
Of course hanging out in the house with a three year old most of the time makes it really damn hard to encounter and women who might be intrested, much less working as a Sys Admin doesn't help either, cause there are maybe 10 hot SA's in the world and I have yet to meet any of them.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 11:26 PM
Seriously Roy - dude - get sex out of your mind for now. Try getting to know the chick and getting comfortable with her (and her, with you). The more "getting laid" dominates your thoughts, the more desperate you'll appear. A desperate dude can't get laid, period. Not with the fattest, drunkest chick at closing time. It ain't happening. Just take it slow and see where it goes. If you're slobbering all over yourself and sporting a 12 pack of condoms in your pocket, you won't even get to hold her hand.

FWIW, if KCChiefsman posts anything in this thread you should do the opposite of whatever he says.

Bowser
08-20-2004, 11:28 PM
Bullshit, Bullshit, Bullshit

I'm a fatass who used to have a lot of muscles. I got just as much fine tail as a fatass as I did as a lean hardbody. You just gotta find your niche with the ladies. Confidence is huge.

I will second this.

Roy, there are four rules.....
1) Look her in the eye. Always.
2) Listen to what she says.
3) Make her laugh.
4) Be yourself.

Follow these rules, and you are in! (pun intended)

And don't worry about how you look. You are not perfect, but I'm betting that she isn't either. There is a reason why she is coming to see you. Remember that. :thumb:

Phobia
08-20-2004, 11:29 PM
Roy,

If all else fails, try gay.

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 11:30 PM
Of course hanging out in the house with a three year old most of the time makes it really damn hard to encounter and women who might be intrested, much less working as a Sys Admin doesn't help either, cause there are maybe 10 hot SA's in the world and I have yet to meet any of them.

Saul is a SA....I don't know that I'd describe him as "hot," but he ain't ugly....

Oh, sorry....I'm puttin' the cart before the horse here; Saul is a guy...and he does have a girlfriend. :doh!:

Bowser
08-20-2004, 11:31 PM
Roy,

If all else fails, try gay.

There you go getting Anton all amped up!! For shame!

:shake:

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 11:31 PM
...FWIW, if KCChiefsman posts anything in this thread you should do the opposite of whatever he says.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Bob Dole
08-20-2004, 11:32 PM
Saul is a SA....I don't know that I'd describe him as "hot," but he ain't ugly....

Oh, sorry....I'm puttin' the cart before the horse here; Saul is a guy...and he does have a girlfriend. :doh!:

Bob Dole thinks ye protest too much.

Phobia
08-20-2004, 11:35 PM
Bob Dole thinks ye protest too much.

He's just getting Anton amped up.

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:37 PM
Saul is a SA....I don't know that I'd describe him as "hot," but he ain't ugly....

Oh, sorry....I'm puttin' the cart before the horse here; Saul is a guy...and he does have a girlfriend. :doh!:
Well, I have yet to have to turn down a guy, though it is a bit awkward catching them checking you out...

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 11:39 PM
Well, I have yet to have to turn down a guy Oh, hell. This is sig material.

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:40 PM
Oh, hell. This is sig material.
Especially if I would have left out the "have to"...

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 11:41 PM
Especially if I would have left out the "have to"...

That can be ARRANGED you know.... :)

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 11:42 PM
Especially if I would have left out the "have to"... Dammit. Somehow I just passed right over that.

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:45 PM
Yeah, be careful...

Saul is a SA. I know that I'd describe him as hot

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:47 PM
Dammit. Somehow I just passed right over that.
Sorry to get you excited, but I'm more then prepared to turn you down nicely :D

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 11:47 PM
Yeah, be careful... Well, we all knew SD was an online cross-dresser. Most of us did anyway....

Bowser
08-20-2004, 11:47 PM
This thread just took a turn for the worse.........

KcMizzou
08-20-2004, 11:47 PM
Sorry to get you excited, but I'm more then prepared to turn you down nicely :D Easy now, this isn't Jamie you're talkin' to...

Mr. Kotter
08-20-2004, 11:48 PM
This thread just took a turn for the worse.........


Definitely.... :shake:

Phobia
08-20-2004, 11:49 PM
I've tried sarcasm and I've tried serious advice.

Now I will share with you the very basic tenets of gettinglaidism:
1. Brush your teeth. This goes for all our young male virgins.
2. Shave that nasty mug.
3. Wear something nice but don't borrow anything from your dad. Drop a hot iron on that shirt and run a brush over those nasty shoes.
4. Clip and clean your nails. Chicks actually care about that sort of thing. A little lotion on the hands won't hurt anything. Not that kind of lotion, though.
5. Talk about her more than you talk about yourself.
6. Don't reveal your faults voluntarily. If she sticks around long enough, she'll discover them herself in time. That's the way it should be.
7. Keep the conversation light and positive. Negative drags a person down. That includes discussion about your mother's condition. If she brings it up, be candid and quickly change to a more pleasant subject. A variety of topics is a good thing. No matter how much she likes football, she doesn't want to hear about the Chiefs all night.
8. Soft lips. No teeth clicking. Swallow that excessive saliva. Relax. Take your time. No face licking.
9. Try touching her face. That will make you appear to be sensitive and sincere whether you are or not.
10. Be confident, don't apologize for yourself. You're a great catch. She's lucky to have this opportunity to be with you.
11. Make sure all her needs are met. The more physically comfortable you make her, the more emotionally comfortable she will allow herself to be.
12. Do not talk about your ex-girlfriend.


These are just a few from the top of my head. This is not rocket science, but you now have a head start. Good luck.

morphius
08-20-2004, 11:50 PM
This thread just took a turn for the worse.........
Damn, leave it to me to ruin a perfect good thread.

Morphius
thread killing bastage...

David.
08-20-2004, 11:51 PM
13. steal her purse












I'm sorry that lacked any funny but I'm very tired :(

Count Alex's Wins
08-20-2004, 11:55 PM
And when all else fails, whip it out, slap it on her knee, and murmur "Suck me, beautiful."

Bowser
08-21-2004, 12:03 AM
Or just tell her you have a nine inch tongue and can breathe out of your ears. Just be mindful that she will want proof...............