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View Full Version : Something to make you smile about Al Davis


crazy chiefs fan
10-04-2000, 08:06 PM
SCENE : AL DAVIS ' S OFFICE . there is a female receptionist behind the desk that is typing furiously on the computer and though she ' s wearing a dress , she has a mustache and looks curiously masculine . The logo behind her says " RAIDERS " in bold black letters . Tim Brown sits nervously in a chair . A beep from the phone intercom rings , and the receptionist pushes a button .

RECEPTIONIST : " Yes , Mr Davis ?"
VOICE COMING FROM INTERCOM : " Marsha ?"
MARSHA : " Yes , Mr Davis ?"
VOICE : " MARSHA ?"
MARSHA : " Yes , Mr . Davis ?"
VOICE ; irritated :" MARSHA , I CAN ' T HEAR YOU ON THIS D A M N THING !"
MARSHA , unmoved :" Take your finger off the talk button , Mr Davis "

( static )

VOICE : " Oh , okay . Marsha ?"
Marsha : " Yes , Mr Davis ?"
Voice : " I just got out of the shower . Marsha :" Mr . Davis , Tim Brown is here to see you ."
Voice :" Who the h e l l is Tim Brown ?"
Marsha :" He ' s your starting wide receiver ."
Voice : " Oh . Well what does he want ?"
Marsha : " You asked to see him , Mr Davis ."
Voice : " Oh , well send him in ."
Marsha , to Tim Brown : " Mr . Davis will see you now , Tim ."
Continued

[This message has been edited by sput@kc (edited 10-04-2000).]

crazy chiefs fan
10-04-2000, 08:08 PM
Tim Brown stands up and walks towards door behind receptionist desk , stops behind her to see what she ' s doing .

Tim : " Is that the Bronco Website ? I ' ve seen it a couple times ."
Marsha :" Yeah . I log on everyday and talk trash to the Bronco fans . I always predict they will lose 41 - 17 . That ' s my favorite take ."
Tim : " Do you have a sign - on name ? I ' d love to read some of your takes ."
Marsha :" Yeah , my sign on is LIFER ."

Tim looks at Marsha with a quizical look on his face , slowly backing away . He opens door , looks back at Marsha with same look , and closes door .
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[This message has been edited by sput@kc (edited 10-04-2000).]

crazy chiefs fan
10-04-2000, 08:10 PM
Scene : Room totally decorated in white , from the rug to the leather couches to the desk . A large t . v screen on the wall is playing highlights of the Raiders - Redskins super bowl . The large white leather chair is turned facing the t . v . The highlight shows a Raider player wearing no . 32 running through the Washington defense .

Voice from the chair :" The GREATNESS OF THE RAIDERS !"
Tim :" You asked to see , Mr Davis ?"

The chair turns around , and in it is AL Davis , butt - naked . He stands ; shocked , Tim turns around . Al looks down , hurriedly pulls his DEPENDS underwear up , and wipes his hands with a towel . He points to the closet .
AL Davis :" Hey , Tim . Do me a favor ; go over to the closet , and pick me out a suit ."
Tim : " Yes , Mr Davis ."

Tim covers the side of his eyes to block his vision of Al Davis and goes over to a door that has a sign on it that says , " THIS IS WEAR MY CLOTHES ARE ." Tim opens the door , and in are 50 identical white jumpsuits with Raiders logo . Tim pulls one out , and hands it to Al , still covering his eyes . AL puts on jumpsuit , and takes out of drawer a handfull of gold chains and puts them on .
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crazy chiefs fan
10-04-2000, 08:10 PM
AL : " So , ah .. what ' s your name again ?"
Tim :" Tim Brown , sir ."
AL : " Oh , yeah , Tim Brown . I wanted to see you cause I wanted you to go on radio and say that Janakowski is good kid , and the fans should give him a chance ."
Tim : " He s u c k s , sir ."
AL : " Don ' t bad mouth this team , boy . You sound just like Marcus Allen , that Benidict Arnold !"
Tim : " Sorry , sir ."
Al :" That ' s more like it . Oh , and I want you to say on the radio that the Chiefs s u c k and Carl Peterson cheats more than my wife . Got it ?"
Tim :" Janakowski ' s a good kid and the Chiefs s u c k , and Carl Peterson is a cheater . Got it ."
Tim turns to go ; stops and turns back to Al .

Tim :" Sir , I ' m sorry about your wife ."
Al :" The h e l l with her , I got these tapes to keep me company . Oh , and Tim , say it for me one time before you go ."
Tim ; raising his arms and pumping his fists :" THE GREATNESS OF THE RAIDERS !"
AL ; pleased :" That ' s my boy , Tim ! Get on to that radio show , and remember what I told you ." Al sits in his chair , turns back to the t . v .

Tim : " I will , sir . Goodbye , Mr . Davis ."

Al doesn ' t answer . Tim opens door , catches sight of Marsha , and runs out of the office .

Sounds of vcr rewinding tape . Highlights of Raiders - Redskins super bowl appear on t . v .

AL :" THE GREATNESS OF THE REAIDERS !!!!!!!!!( ECHO SEVERAL TIMES )

( fade to black )

Gee Carl Peterson ain't so bad...(grin) Go Chiefs!




[This message has been edited by sput@kc (edited 10-04-2000).]

DoubleWannaB
10-05-2000, 08:42 AM
WTF!!! HAHAHAH!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!

DoubleWannaB
10-05-2000, 09:26 AM
Has anyone else read this??? It is hilarious, Al Davis in depends...

SamuraiMike
10-05-2000, 11:42 AM
Very funny! great story!

SamuraiMike
10-05-2000, 11:43 AM
Very funny! great story!

aaaaa
10-05-2000, 11:50 AM
I enjoyed this story immensely. It's in the tradition of prime Raidertrashing smack, which is especially notable because, unlike most of the best smack, this story doesn't depend on any exaggeration or other truth distortion. http://www.ChiefsPlanet.com/ubb/wink.gif It's just a evenhanded and credible retelling of one of the kind of episodes that we all know happen all the time with Al Davis and crew.

[This message has been edited by DanT (edited 10-05-2000).]

[This message has been edited by DanT (edited 10-05-2000).]