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View Full Version : A Brazilian vacationer, an NBA player, and a con artist walk into a charity dinner...


Rain Man
09-17-2004, 10:08 AM
This is just a Friday story that is irrelevant to most things in life.

I went to a charity dinner last night as a favor to a professional acquaintance. It was to benefit a coffee farm or something in Brazil, so it had a Brazilian theme. Three notable things happened:

1. I may be going to Brazil on my next vacation. They had a silent auction, and I put in a bid on two tickets to Brazil, and by the time I left I was still the high bidder. The only downside is that it was to some particular city that I'd never heard of, and when I looked it up it didn't sound all that interesting. I think I'd be going to Brazil's version of St. Louis. Uh-oh. I'll see if I get a call today.

2. The dinner was at an enormous old mansion that is now an events center, so the pre-dinner mingling was in several rooms. Wandering into one room, I saw an enormous guy who was built such that he had to be an athlete. Positioning myself to read his name tag, it was Nene, the Brazilian player for the Denver Nuggets. I will report that he is a very large human being. The thing I couldn't figure out was that there were two woman hanging out near him all night, and at the dinner one sat on his left and one sat on his right. Both woman were 6-1 to 6-3 and attractive. I could never figure out which one was his date, or if he was double-dipping. I was hoping that one was the date and the other was an interloper so I could see an amazon catfight, but alas, relations seemed to be warm among all parties.

3. One of the more interesting things was the guy I sat next to at dinner, a very personable and somewhat egotistic distinguished older fellow. We chatted for quite a while, and he told me that he was a former Navy Rear Admiral. He now owned a business that he had purchased when he retired, and it had grown from $3 million to $54 million over the past seven or eight years. He then mentioned that he had also been a back judge in the NFL for 18 years, and that really caught my attention. We chatted about all sorts of details of the game, and he shared a bunch of tidbits about arguing with Jerry Glanville, and being in awe of Deion Sanders and Eric Metcalf, and getting chewed out by Tagliabue. Nene the basketball player sought him out and came over to chat with him about that time, too, since this guy is at all the Nuggets games and knows Nene somehow through that.

So we get back to football, and I asked him what was the most exciting game he was an official for. He told me that he had done two Super Bowls and three Pro Bowls, and gave me some details about when and where. Apparently, he was the back judge when San Francisco beat Buffalo in '91, and then again when Washington beat Buffalo in '93.

Now, I'm not a Super Bowl expert, but I sure didn't remember any Super Bowls with those matchups. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a memory lapse, but ... wouldn't you remember the teams if you were the back judge in the Super Bowl?

So this morning I went to http://www.theredzone.org/superbowl/ and sure enough, there was no back judge by this guy's name in any Super Bowl.

Then I googled him, and found that he works with the company that he told me he owned, but that he's a VP of Sales there. That probably doesn't mean he owns the company, right? I guess it's possible, but in light of the back judge stuff I think not.

Then I started thinking about the Navy thing. He said that he was an O-7 (Rear Admiral) who was in the swiftboat group in Vietnam. So I went to this site http://swiftboats.net/extras/retired.htm , and indeed, there is someone with his name, but that person was a Commander (0-5) and not a rear admiral. I'm wondering if it's even the same guy, though my fellow was indeed about the right age. I might start watching those swiftboat political commercials a little more carefully now.

All in all, it was quite exciting to sit next to such a distinguished fellow, and he had me completely convinced until the Super Bowl faux pas. I regret that I didn't get to tell him more about my time as a special forces commando in Afghanistan, and my appearance in Super Bowl XXVIII.

ENDelt260
09-17-2004, 10:12 AM
I don't understand why people lie about things that are so easily verified (er, or disproved).

Rain Man
09-17-2004, 10:17 AM
Yeah. He was so convincing, though, and just spouted off details left and right about how he came up the ranks as a referee, and how Joe Gibbs helped him get the job, and so on...if he hadn't gotten greedy with the Super Bowl stuff I never would have questioned him.

ptlyon
09-17-2004, 10:21 AM
I don't understand why people lie about things that are so easily verified (er, or disproved).

patholical liars cannot help it. they've learned that they can get by with lying, so they keep doing it.

See: my ex-girlfriend

Lzen
09-17-2004, 11:24 AM
Washington beat Buffalo in a Superbowl but it was after the 91 season. San Francisco never played Buffalo in a Superbowl. Buffalo played NY Giants, Washington, Dallas, and Dallas again the next season. Funny guy, though.

ENDelt260
09-17-2004, 11:26 AM
patholical liars cannot help it. they've learned that they can get by with lying, so they keep doing it.

See: my ex-girlfriend
Heh... I know a girl who told her boyfriend she wasn't sleeping with me... even though he saw her in bed with me.

Dumb bastard stayed with her.

Rain Man
09-17-2004, 11:29 AM
I guess he could tell that you two weren't sleeping.

ENDelt260
09-17-2004, 11:31 AM
I guess he could tell that you two weren't sleeping.
Good point.

ptlyon
09-17-2004, 11:36 AM
Heh... I know a girl who told her boyfriend she wasn't sleeping with me... even though he saw her in bed with me.

Dumb bastard stayed with her.

Must have been a good lay too

Skip Towne
09-17-2004, 11:39 AM
You must have looked gullible. Were you wearing bib overalls?

ENDelt260
09-17-2004, 11:40 AM
Must have been a good lay too
Well... yeah. But, it's not like you gotta quit pokin' just because you break up w/ her.

After all... she was my gf a couple years earlier. ;)

Rain Man
09-17-2004, 11:52 AM
You must have looked gullible. Were you wearing bib overalls?

I always wear bib overalls. Since this was a dress-up event, I put some shoes on and took the haystalk out of my mouth, but I guess it wasn't enough.

KC Jones
09-17-2004, 11:58 AM
Sounds like your typical salesman. No offense to those of you in sales, but my personal experience is that most salemen will do or say anything to close the deal. They gotta make quota and get that commission, the fact that they lied or made promises we can't keep is somebody else's problem to sort out later.