PDA

View Full Version : Student attempts suicide by fork


DenverChief
09-19-2004, 12:58 AM
not to make light of a suicide attempt but damn you gotta be pissed about something ....

CMU Police reported a 20-year-old male CMU student attempted suicide Wednesday in the Robinson Residential Restaurant.


The student stabbed himself in the head several times with a fork, police say.


The student, whose name was not released by authorities, stabbed himself at about 2:06 p.m. during an afternoon lunch in the residential restaurant.


CMU Police Chief Stan Dinius said several students have attempted suicide during the years but this incident was highly unusual.


Dinius said the student is physically OK but is seeking external help for other problems. Police are investigating to determine whether drugs were a factor in the incident, which is just one of four attempted suicides reported in the residence halls since January, he said.


Trenton sophomore Anthony Ciarlo, president of Robinson Hall Council, said he noticed the student sitting with four females Wednesday. Ciarlo said all eyes turned to the student when he slammed a drinking glass down, making a loud, shattering noise that echoed throughout the crowded cafeteria.


“Nothing ever captured the attention of the cafeteria like this before,” he said.


Ciarlo said the four females then left the student sitting at the table where he stayed with his head down for about two minutes. He then abruptly stood up and began rapidly stabbing himself in the temple region.

Phobia
09-19-2004, 01:03 AM
Cool. Somebody should buy him a sharp knife for his birthday.

DenverChief
09-19-2004, 01:05 AM
Cool. Somebody should buy him a sharp knife for his birthday.

:LOL:

this is posted on the article website

Wow ... just, wow...

He has to have been a freshmen. The rest of us know that in the dining commons, the spoons are sharper than the forks.

Matthew D. Rick
rick1md@cmich.edu
Junior

the Talking Can
09-19-2004, 01:06 AM
Someone should have offered him a butter knife.

Rain Man
09-19-2004, 01:11 AM
I'll bet the four girls offered to have group sex with him, and before thinking he said that he had a Dungeons & Dragons game that night.

DenverChief
09-19-2004, 01:12 AM
I'll bet the four girls offered to have group sex with him, and before thinking he said that he had a Dungeons & Dragons game that night. ROFL

BigMeatballDave
09-19-2004, 01:18 AM
I guess he was done...

DenverChief
09-19-2004, 01:20 AM
I guess he was done...:doh!:

Phobia
09-19-2004, 01:21 AM
I've got to question the suicide aspect of this story.... Maybe he was a hungry cannibal.

Hel'n
09-19-2004, 01:25 AM
I've got to question the suicide aspect of this story.... Maybe he was a hungry cannibal.

Do cannibals eat in the temple?!

DenverChief
09-19-2004, 01:35 AM
I've got to question the suicide aspect of this story.... Maybe he was a hungry cannibal.

Do cannibals eat in the temple?!


BOOOOO!

Phobia
09-19-2004, 01:38 AM
Do cannibals eat in the temple?!

No, but it's funny that you should ask. They actually dine in the head.

Rausch
09-19-2004, 01:47 AM
What poor, clueless b@st@rd...

DenverChief
09-19-2004, 01:47 AM
No, but it's funny that you should ask. They actually dine in the head. ROFL then where do they go to the head at?

Jenson71
09-19-2004, 01:49 AM
Police are investigating to determine whether drugs were a factor in the incident, which is just one of four attempted suicides reported in the residence halls since January, he said.

Sheesh. Must have some tough classes.

Rausch
09-19-2004, 01:51 AM
Sheesh. Must have some tough classes.

Nope, Panthers fan...

Ultra Peanut
09-19-2004, 01:51 AM
I think I saw a bunch of Arkansas State fans trying to get hit by traffic while making my way out of Jonesboro...

TheNextStep
09-19-2004, 01:51 AM
I'll bet the four girls offered to have group sex with him, and before thinking he said that he had a Dungeons & Dragons game that night.
And I'll bet that he asked the four girls to have group sex with him and, before leaving, one of them said, "Go fork yourself, asshole!"

KcMizzou
09-19-2004, 01:52 AM
Reminds me of a scene in a Steve Martin movie... Dirty Rotten Scoundrels?

DenverChief
09-19-2004, 01:52 AM
I think I saw a bunch of Arkansas State fans trying to get hit by traffic while making my way out of Jonesboro... ROFL

DenverChief
09-19-2004, 01:53 AM
Reminds me of a scene in a Steve Martin movie... Dirty Rotten Scoundrels?

ROFL when steve martin stabs himself in the eye ROFL that was the best part of that movie

TheNextStep
09-19-2004, 02:02 AM
"Why is there a cork on the fork?"

Skip Towne
09-19-2004, 08:54 AM
It would have made a better story if he had used a spork.

Ultra Peanut
09-19-2004, 09:02 AM
It would have made a better story if he had used a spork.Or maybe some spiced pork.

Earthling
09-19-2004, 09:04 AM
Gotta give him an 'A' for creativity anyway...

ExtremeChief
09-19-2004, 09:10 AM
Unbeknownst to him, he possessed a salad fork, which has only 30% of the thrusting power of a dinner fork. Stupid vegeterian.

Bowser
09-19-2004, 09:17 AM
Reminds me of a scene in a Steve Martin movie... Dirty Rotten Scoundrels?

The movie that came to my mind was Bachelor Party where the loser drugee friend was trying to slit his wrists with an electric razor.

"What are you doing, Brad?"
"I'm slitting my wrists."
"With an electric razor? Well, at least your wrists will be smooth and kissable...."