I had a friend who made many of the same bad choices as QuikSsurfer. He had a childhood that was less than perfect although I don't really know the details. He struggled with his gayness (it conflicted with his fundamentalist Christian upbringing until he decided to abandon religion in favor of hedonism). He had drug problems that he couldn't shake. He was smart, but dropped out of college when he was less than a semester away from graduating with a relatively useless degree. After leaving school, he continued to make bad decisions by hanging out with people who fed his hedonistic lifestyle. He had cocaine problems and even during the periods when he got away from cocaine, he continued to smoke pot, believing/claiming that he needed pot to remain sane. Eventually, he took advantage of and alienated most of the real friends that he had (e.g. borrowing money from them without any real intention of paying them back, living with them without making much of an effort to get on his own feet, general dishonesty, etc.). As far as I know, he continues to barely scrape by, reaping the results of bad decisions of the past and making new bad decisions. Even in his sex life he's made bad decisions choosing to target college-aged straight guys for one-night stands fueled by drugs and alcohol rather than trying to find a gay partner with whom he can have a real relationship. The guy's a mess.

:hmmm:

I would agree with that, in whole.

I didn't offer my support for him bumming around Oxford and doing coke, or anything, I simply responded to the first of many posts saying the military will fix everything ("All problems fixed.") and he should really, truly JUST GO DO IT NOW TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON OR YOU'RE FOREVER DOOMED TO A WORTHLESS LIFE!

I just think the military is something that you should look into for a better reason than, "My life sucks and I need help," is all.

But... but... condemning someone is the best way to help them!

Don't be mistaken for all the tender feelings around here.

based on what you posted, right now in your life, you're the DEFINITION of LOSER.

You're an unmotivated, college dropout with 5 years of debt(or wasted parental money), you've done enough fugging up that some of your family has disowned you, you've got a drug habbit you're denying and you're looking for easy answers.

The more I think about it, DON'T go live with your grandparents. They're probably just nice people you'll end up taking advantage of and stealing from to support your "non-habbit".

One of my best friends is a recovering You. I've seen this song and dance many, many times.

You're a loser at this point in your life, no matter what the other stoned video gamers you spent the afternoon with say. Only YOU can change that.

I don't think Endelt is much into video games.

so...what are you trying to say?


you gotta stop beating around the bush and give it to me straight

Being a 'loser' is such a subjective thing. Dropping the "you're a loser" judgement doesn't sway anyone towards or away from anything if they don't feel like a loser. It seems like fruitless work to have to first convince someone that they are indeed a loser before you can give them any advice.

I don't know if the guy is truly a loser, or just a standard American kid who knows that he needs to make better choices. Certainly, he's making some poor ones, and that's before even factoring in the drugs. Poor choices are compounded when they're combined with drugs, that's for sure. That's definitely the road to loserdom. But a full blown loser, I'm not so sure.

The problem with young people today is very few of them know what they want out of life. So rather than sitting down and working to figure it out, they get caught in whatever feels good at the moment and ride that until they start to realize there is more to life than just this.

Ultimately, the one constant in this thread that everyone seems to agree on is that "You" are the only one capable of changing anything about your life at all. Sounds like you need to figure out who you are and what you want out of life, and then move from there.

Please don't throw that in my face right now, or ever again. Posts like this do absolutely nothing for me. I used to be religious. I just.. enjoy books now.
There are a lot of different beliefs on this board.

I'm beyond afraid of that.

then you'll be posting a thread simliar to this ;)

lol

I need the steady job. I've been out most of the day filling out applications and leaving resumes. Course, I had to only look for jobs in the area where I could ride my bike or hitch a ride from the roommate. I have a nice lady friend who I care a lot about but she has similar drug related problems. Before any of you say some shit that I need to get away from this girl and my friends... please understand the situation. my family is out of the picture. all i have are these people (who I can see, touch, and hear) right now to help me through this. I influenced most of the people I hung around.. but because i love marijuana.. I need to come across a good paying job here in oxford. I'm counting on that

holy shit

At best, the marijuana is a waste of money that you need for other things right now. And there are a lot of people that you can meet who don't have drug problems.

Obviously, you sense that your current situation is not positive or you wouldn't have posted this thread. If you want to improve your lot in life, the best way to do it is to not waste money on vices and to hang out with people who live the life you want to live. It's like the old work adage, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."