The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night. I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you!" she said, then she got all excited, un-zipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing blow job ever......


Which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before!

:LOL: bookmarked :thumb:

Seriously? That's awesome......:LOL:

ROFL

Why? Does it look like Ben Jones?

Go with Hai Karate - especially if you are rocking a 70's pube 'fro

LMAO

My wife tells me she'd blow me more if I'd stop ripping the most heinous farts known to man around her 24/7. I just get too much joy out of decimating the air any chance I get.

These things sound like a cross between deer bleats and thunder and smell like raw sewage. Can't saw that I blame her, but I'm not going to cut out the farting. It's one of my favorite things in the world to take a lovely, serene week-night living room and turn it into some sort of dumpster/swamp/roadkill center.

I went to the doctor's the other day and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can."

I said, "I think my cock tastes funny..

:LOL: Jew Bush

LMAO

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

No sympathy AT ALL lol, you dont deserve head with your antics.

Any girl I ever dated would find herself without the services of my tongue if she thrilled to the smell and sound of the farts she ripped in front of me.

Reminds me of drinking underage at this dive bar back in '99 or so. Closing time I played kiss me where it smells funny on the jukebox and that old tart took me home and really tought me how to properly glaze a ham

LMAO