Actually, he really is LMAO

The CDC estimates like 16% of people from the age of 16-49 have genital herpes. Apparently there is a rather large percentage of those that never show symptoms of the disease but still pass it on..

So that's 1 in 5. 1 in 5 chicks Hootie bones likely has the Herp.

those are my only two run ins with STDs

when I hooked up, the very first time, with the rape girl (the story where everyone considers me a rapist)...

we had been flirting at work a lot

well I went back to her place and we started going at it and she was like "hey I have chlamydia I can't have sex for a few days"

I still tried talking her into having sex. I thought to myself..."eh?"

Do you also have anxiety issues?

If the answer is yes, you may want to talk to a doctor about your blackouts.

I am going to scrub my pubes extra hard tonight. Just to be sure.

in the morning I'm usually really condescending but in a funny way

I introduced my last girlfriend to my mom and sister but when I introduce girls I condescend them and I make up details about their lives that aren't real

and we call them Rick girls because they think it's funny...

it's hard to explain

but my sister said to her..."I remember a time when my brother was actually a sweet kid..."

when I met this girl's parents...before they came to town..it was a game day...so we were all getting super drunk

well I did 5 car bombs before 11 AM

...

yeah

by 7 PM I was picking bloody boogars out of my nose and wiping them on her arm...in front of her parents

IMPRESSIONS MAN, IMPRESSIONS

There's a morning?

I'm disappointed.

Keep in mind though, that's EVERYONE. He's banging girls out of bars. That number has to jump to 3 out of 5. Minimum.

ISU had a high herpes population

I haven't been to ISU for years

Champaign isn't as bad, from what I hear.

but hey...what the **** do I know? Maybe I'll go get an STD check next week and post the results in this thread.

ROFL ROFL ROFL For ****'s sake, you couldn't wait a few days? Let her block the punt and go into overtime, man.

dude I'm not an asshole

and besides, I rarely remember evening pounding sessions...sometimes if I'm lucky I'll remember a highlight like "whoa that girl let me do this!"

so mornings is where I get to have my emotional, sensual poundings

Holy shit. Me and Hootie aren't that different.

I was ****ing a chick with HPV so I'm sure I have/had that shit (but everyone does so who gives a shit) and I once had gonorrhea.

LMAO

This is sad.

Yes, he more than likely is of the carrier but no outbreaks variety.

Hootie, always making the best of a bad situation.
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well she wouldn't let me

this is the same girl where I discovered the nuva ring

after her chlamydia cleared up

we were at my place...drunk

we both knew it was time to consumate our love

so I was, you know...drunk...so foreplay is out the window...I'm gonna finger that hole wet and then hit it with my pummel stick, figuratively speaking

so I go down there with my two thickest fingers of course...and as I'm inside I'm like "wtf?"

so I pull something out...granted this is 6 years ago and I'm super confused...it felt like a cock ring

so I slip it out of there...and look at it, look at her

and then it goes right in my mouth

and I stare at her

and she's says...

"get that out of your mouth right now!"

and I'm like...oooook, what is it?!?

and she's like "my nuva ring"

at that point I just stfu and went to pound town

next day...wikipedia: nuva ring

I was like..."ooooooh, cool"

Oooooooook. Me and Hootie are nothing alike...