Does not matter how much ab work he does. A six pack comes from the kitchen.

And cardio. Lots of cardio.

Not really. Cardio builds your heart. It does not make you chiseled.

Melts away the flab so the abs can show...

Hahaha, like I know about showing abs. I guess do exactly the opposite of me, and you'll have abs. :D

:(

Science says they're the most effective use of your time! What's not to like?

No, do SS until you hit the prescribed "move on" point. Then, switch to Madcow. Someone who's getting back into lifting likely wouldn't be on SS for more than a few weeks.

Truth.

Is there an alternative to bench press if I don't have one? Just use dumbbells?

Injuries could have something to so with it. Shoulders are so f'd up it takes several days between workouts to recover.

I have to put 3 days rest between shoulder and chest day otherwise I am in constant pain.

Me neither. If I could only train 3 days a week, I probbably would through. I am a big fan of bodyparts twice a week.. been on a classic legs/push/pull/off/repeat for a while now. Sometimes I add in extra arms on the off day since I have long arm syndrome.

As far as diet goes, there is a good site with a calculator: http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/

I'm not ultra-lean like some of the other guys in this thread, but the best advice I can give on losing bodyfat is to focus on lots of lean meats, eggs, veggies and healthy fats, and limit carbs to around your workout times. The leaner you get, the more carbs you can add in. I would never eliminate them 100% though.

I've been doing a lot of cleans lately and I've got really bad tendonitis in my left elbow. It's pretty bad. Any tips for this?

Learn how to catch a clean, most likely. And take the arms out of the scoop which seems almost impossible for most crossfitters. Scoop with the extension of the hips, not the pull of the arms and your elbows will love you. Hang cleans from mid thigh with perfect technique (arms loose but straight, never bend) to end every workout for a few weeks.

DB press is fine. As is incline DB press (or barbell) or decline press (DB or BB).

Jerk off with right hand? ;)