Finally got it working, albeit completely blank and formatted. Unfortunately, it was ~2TB of TV. But fortunately just TV [well, some wasn't TV, it was HBO ;). . . Actually there was some other non-critical or at least not non-replaceable content].

I have another older external HD I keep critical stuff on, and it was unaffected.

There's no way I could have offloaded 2TB of content elsewhere anyway.

I kind of figured you would probably end up with this.

When a drive self-reports a RAW partition of the wrong size, it's usually ****ed.

Mount the drive with FTK Imager before you give up entirely.

Raw file system just means that it is a file system that is not recognized by Windows. Therefore all the available file system drivers are unable to mount the file system as a drive. Since Windows sees no file system in the partition, it prompts you to format it in order to create a file system on it. Do not format it and or write anything to it.

Repair the partition table and boot sector