It would take a monumental effort to match the original in my opinion. These last two try to hard and are over the top with the language trying to be funny. Failed.

That first one was the best. Would repost if I could.

There's quite a few - just google.

I hadn't seen the QB Fantasy Draft one before, it's pretty funny.

I lol-ed at the Chiefs being 2-0 is a sign of the Apocalypse part as well as the Papa Johns part. The rest was pretty meh.

I did laugh at pneumonia of the dick.

Fudge, guys! This thing MAKES ME SICK TO READ ALL THE FREAKIN CAPS POSTS HOLY DARN IT THERE ARE SO MANY

Funny, but it got too long, so tldr

Did Rico write that or something?

FUDGE YEAH HE WROTE THAT LOTS OF ALL CAPS MAKE BRAIN HURT

THE MARSHAWN LYNCH COMMENT ABOUT JAY CUTLERS MOM WAS FUNNY THOUGH

If this was 1/8th the length I'd probably read it. I liked the first one, but if I'm going to read an epic 800-page novel I'll probably go with something that's more classic.

tl;dr

Holy shit, loochy thinks I'm funny?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! :)

That's pretty cool, I guess.