I hear swattin em on the nose with a flyswatter works pretty well.

Crap in his rolling spot.

Bears are definitely not my area of expertise, but I highly doubt there are a lot of bears in Denver. Most of the bears I know are not city folk.

We had them in our back yard in Colorado Springs. They loved to bring our neighbor's trash into our back yard a pick through it. Black bears. About the size of very large dogs. So long as they weren't with their young they didn't pose much of a risk to humans. Our pomeranians on the other hand looked like snack food...

By the way, the bear's favorite food: Baby poop (from diapers)...together now: eeeewwwwww.

Leave a Unicycle out there tonight, if he hops on it and starts riding call the circus. You my friend have just struck gold!

If, as AirForceChiefs says, the type of bears in your area are Black Bears, they don't pose much of a threat to you. While they are omnivores, they are generally not very predatory -- they eat mostly insects, nuts, small fruit, etc.

If you really think there's a possibility you have them hanging around, I'd call your local ranger or wildlife organization and see what they suggest.

That might also solve the bicycle mystery.

I love this place.

So bears take drugs? Man, there's so much that I don't know.

Turn him into a rug.

No doubt. This thread is making me want to come up with CP archetypes. A few I've witnessed in this thread:

1. The Comedian.
2. The Asshole
3. The Helpful Advice Giver
4. The Derailer

I believe I fall in all categories. I seem to be especially good at derailing, though.

I'm more worried than ever now that I know they eat nuts.

Haha. :)

Are you sure it's not a Shaq?