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Place Herm and Carl in Other Historical Situations
(https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=193421)
Herm and Carl would probably point to Napoleon's surge into Russia backfiring as proof that you don't want to be too aggressive.
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Little Big Horn River 1875
Lt. Colonel H. E.Custer: Charge, charge! I see 40 Indians, lets whoop dey butts! General Peterson: Gee H.E. what if there are more Indians over yonder hill? Shouldn't we be trained and better prepared? What's our plan? We have been out here for 20 years trying whoop these Indians and I said it would only take 5. Lt. Colonel H. E.Custer: Dont worry it's gonna be OOOOKaaaaayyyyyyyy. We will send Sgt. Johnson right up the ass of the front line. General Peterson: What if we run into trouble? Lt. Colonel H. E.Custer: No problem, we call President Clark and tell him we need to rebuild again. |
Carl and Herm at the Battle of Fredericksburg
{Note: Carl is playing the role of Burnside} .....we join our 'heroes' in the early morning of the 2d day of battle. Herm: Carl, we broke through on the left yesterday but got beaten back. I knew it was a bad idea to attack the flank anyway. I have a new plan but I want to clear it with you first. Carl: I have a plan too, but let me hear yours. Herm: General, as you undoubtedly know, the enemy are dug in up on Maryes Heights across a big ol' open field behind a stone wall. There are 78,000 of them up there. I think we should organize our troops into 17 waves of 1 brigade each and hit them head on and make a statement. They will never expect us to go right up the middle and attack the strongest point of their defense 17 straight times through artillery fire. We wil have the element of surprise on our side. Carl: My God, great minds think alike. I was thinking the exact same thing. Tell General Gailey to take the lead and hit em' hard. But one last thing.....WAIT FOR DAYLIGHT. Our troops need the light to see the enemy and engage them effectively. Herm: As always Sir, I am awed by your genious. |
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Seriously, I'm crying right now.......this by far the funniest post I've ever read on CP. Much rep. |
Herm and Carl hunt a mammoth in the Ice Age.
Herm (Pointing at mammoth): BOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGA Carl (Pointing at mammoth): BOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGA Herm and Carl throw Larry Johnson at mammoth. Larry Johnson gets trampled. Herm (Pointing at Larry): BOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGA Carl (Pointing at Larry): BOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGABOOGA Herm and Carl throw Tyler Thigpen at mammoth. |
Herm and Carl at Balaclava, 1854:
Half a yard, Half a yard, Half a yard onward (and punt) All into the basement of the NFL rode the fifty-three Forward the Running Back! Charge for the Linemans rump! He said Into the basement of the NFL rode the fifty-three. Forward, the Fifty-Three!" Was there a man dismay'd? Not tho' the fans knew Some GM had blunder'd. Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and buy (season tickets) Into the basement of the NFL Rode the fifty-three. Competent teams to right of them, Competent teams to left of them, Competent teams in front of them Blitz'd and stunt'd; Throw'd at both deep and short, Badly they played and fell, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of hell Rode the fifty-three. Flash'd all their playbook bare, Flash'd as they stumbled on air Whiffing on the blitzers there, Rebuilding a team, while All the world wonder'd. Plunged in the fireworks-smoke Right thro' the line they broke; Linebacker and D- Tackle Adjustments to this fatal-stroke blunder'd and covered in their own pee Then they rode back, but not, Not the fifty-three. Competent teams to right of them, Competent teams to left of them, Competent teams in front of them Blitze'd and stunte'd; Throw'd at both deep and short, Badly they played and fell, through the jaws of Death, through the mouth of hell and folded like a pup tent.. folded, the fifty-three. When can their tenure fade? O the foolish moves they made! All the league tee-heed. Horror at the mistakes they made! Horror as the teams future fades, Ignoble fifty-three! With sincere apologies to Lord Tennyson. |
Awesome.
FAX |
Carl: you got chocolate in my peanut butter
Herm: you got peanut butter on my chocolate Announcer: use Trojon condoms everytime |
Instant classic are the only words that can describe this thread. ROFLROFLROFL
Kudos to the OP. |
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you've outdone yourself, rainkevinman |
herm and carl in the crow's nest of the titanic:
herm and carl (in unison)...that can't be good (a few moments later).....****. |
After reading this thread I have a clear mental picture of Herm supplanting Slim Pickens and riding the a-bomb in at the end of Dr. Strangelove.
Yee-haw! |
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Carl & Herm Interrogate Jesus
Carliaphas: "So, art thou the Messiah?" Jesus: "I am: and ye shall see the Son of man sitting at the right hand of Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven." Hermas: "See! It's okay." Carliaphas: "Oh. Alright then. Cannest thou play tackle?" Jesus: "Verily I say unto ye, if thy faith is like unto a mustard seed thy canst say unto this defensive tackle, 'Move!" and he shalt move." Hermas: "I've heard enough. This guy can play. He's got something." Carliaphas: "If Hermas saith thou canst play, I shalt believe unto him. Wilt thou agree to the rookie minimum and sharest thou a room on the road?" Jesus: "Verily I say to ye, thou wouldst have no power, except it were given thee from above." Hermas: "Hey! Easy there guy." Carliaphas: "Hey! Doest thou know whoest thou art talking to? Takest this guy to Pilot and havest him crucified. Then bring me my magazines." FAX |
Herm and Carl as Wall St. investment bankers...
Yeah, I think we know how that pans out. |
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