Cannibal continued:

...and when they turn to leave the front stoop, I scissor kick them in the back of the head and run away with all 500 watchtower books.

Why would I be interested in being nice to them? If they respected our time as much as you suggest we respect theirs, the confrontation wouldn't be happening in the first place.

I am convinced they are gypsies.

Sometimes on those very rare ocassions I'm in the mall it feels like those people are on the verge of committing assault. You could not pay me enough to be a kiosk monkey.

without the possibility of getting a BJ in the back for $10.

You left out: all 500 watchtower books.....and to the head an ICEPICK!

Bring an Arab with you. They don't talk jewish sweet talk.

There are some hot bitches working those kiosks.

I haven't been in a mall
in several years
and I feel no remorse

I got to here and thought,okay,this could get interesting

funny, I haven't been to a mall in a long time and I was approached by one of those Dead Sea salesgirls also. I barely got away from her then, then a few steps a later I was approached by some Indian women with threads in their hands wanting to manscape my eyebrows! Kiosk after kiosk it went, now I know why I hate shopping malls. Reminded me of the airport scene in Airplane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qse_wf57tZM

And what's up with all the people there? I thought the economy was in the tank.

Man I hate those people. The best thing you can do is proactive against them. I went and got a hot pretzel one day after shopping at champs for a randle Cuttingham jersey. I knew what was coming, I saw two guys that look like the indian dude from van wilder and another girl that I swear rode in the magic carpet on aladdin. So anyway here these two guys come over "excuse me, excuse me" I slowly broke apart my pretzel (which had gotten hard because of the amount of time dunking on the lowered basketball rim in champs. They kept on walking up up me and I struck first. I flinged the prezels like damn ninja stars....Ninja mall pretzel stars and it took them both down. One of them got back up and the girl out of the group went over to this giant game board and put up a sign that said DEMONPENZ vs BADZIDAL like in kickboxer. We started to fight street fighter style (only if street fighter had a mall level. TOPSY'S POPCORN! I yelled out and I threw butter popcorn in his face, then went to a leg sweep and jumped off a instant photo booth an shoved cotton candy in his Wind pipe. ...

flawless victory

This sounds like our malls are turning into a Turkish bazar!

If you've ever been to the Mediteranean rim countries, like Egypt, Turkey, Tunisa and the like, this is common place with the street vendors. When I was in the Navy, as soon as we squids hit the beach, they'd swarm all over us. We called them Heyjoes........pronounced as one word. They could barely speak English and they called every one of us Joe. They'd say "Hey Joe.....Hey Joe.....Hey Joe....I have a very nice watch for you". (Or, whatever junk they were selling.) "For YOU a special price, a special price for YOU." They would just keep saying "Hey Joe" to get our attention. This happend from country to country. You practically had to beat them with a stick to get them to leave you alone. And don't ever pay their first price if you do decide to buy their junk. Almost every time, if they started at $50 as their special price for YOU, you could always talk them down to $10 or $5 every single time. After a while, it got to be fun to be rude jerks to them. That's the only way to get rid of them. They understood that was part of the negotiation. They'd follow you down the street saying "Hey Joe" and "special price for YOU". You would literally have to push them away and say "Get the hell away from me! I don't want to buy your shit!"

Any other military men have experiences with the Heyjoes?

I like your style kid!

:thumb: