Pretty nice here in Colorado today. :D

Last week I was at the Montana State/North Dakota State game in -4 weather. It didn't keep me from drinking beer :D
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._8266716_n.jpg

It was 50/50 on whether or not we'd get snow today in Omaha. As usual, it always turns shitty. We've got about the same conditions right now, (except for the 4 foot drifts).
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Yeah as of yesterday it was supposed to go north and east with us getting a trace to 2 inches.

DIARY OF A MINNESOTA SNOW SHOVELER

December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow
of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours
by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It
looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds
again. I love snow! covering every inch of the landscape. What a
fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time
in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the
sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the
sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a
perfect life.

December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such
a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll
definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be
awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll
never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The
temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway
and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this
afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to
do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this
way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a
4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on
the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife
laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy
to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile
the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and
try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it
to her. God! I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing
to death in my own living room.

December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of
the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddam
snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but
they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow
blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think
they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and
bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because
13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it
probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up
to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got
undressed, pissed and dressed again I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob
who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says
he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month
ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow,
l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch
the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the
snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to
finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour
and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me
to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was
busy watching for the goddam snowplow.

December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the
goddamed slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood
boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking
for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says
I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch
"It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever
move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes
froze.

December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in.
THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel
the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard.
How dumb does he think I am?

December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing
me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went
home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No
more shoveling.

January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white
pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

KingPriest2 That was fricken a AWESOME read.
Go make some snow angels

Slightly different

Dec. 8 5:00 p. m. - It's starting to snow, the first of the season, and the wife and I took our buttered rum and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so beautiful. Dec. 9 - We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shoveled snow for the first time in years, and I loved it. I did both our driveway and our sidewalks. Later the snowplow came along and covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. He smiled and I waved back. I shoveled it again. Dec. 12 - The sun has melted most of our lovely snow. Oh well, I'm sure we'll get a little more before this lovely winter is over. Dec. 14 - It snowed 8 inches last night and the temperature dropped to about 0 degrees. Shoveled the sidewalk and driveway again. Shortly the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Dec. 15 - Sold our car and bought a 4x4 Blazer so we could get through the snow. Bought snow tires for the truck. Dec. 18 - Fell on my Ass on the ice in the driveway. $23. 00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken, thank God! The damn sky is getting dark again. Dec. 19 - Still cold (-10 this a. m. ) Icy roads making for very tough driving. Slid into a guard rail with my wife's car. Probably a $100. 00 damage or so. She's pissed-off. Dec. 20 - Had another 14 inches of the white shit last night. More shoveling in store for me today. That damned snowplow came by twice. Dec. 22 - We are assured of a white Christmas because another 7 inches of that white shit fell today and with this freezing weather it won't melt till August! Got all dressed up to go out and shovel that shit again. (Boots, snowsuit, jacket, scarf, earmuffs, gloves, etc. . . ) then got the urge to pee. Dec 24 - If I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling and then comes down the street 100 miles an hour and throws that white shit everywhere. Dec. 25 - MERRY CHRISTMAS. . . they predict 12 more inches of the ****ing white stuff tonight. Does anyone know how many damned shovels full of snow 12 inches is? To hell with Santa, he doesn't have to shovel that white shit. The snowplow driver came by asking for a donation. I hit him with my ice axe. Dec. 28 - We got 11 more inches. I must be going snowblind or have a severe case of depression. Dec. 29 - The toilet froze and the roof is starting to cave-in. If you go outside, don't eat the brown snow. Dec. 30 - I torched the damned house . . . moving back to Florida!

WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN - A CONTINUING SERIES
hopingdesperately | pre-evolutionary | means"Someplace | Identification | meanAbsolutely | Miscellaneous | means"Because | means"Someone | instructions



"I'm going fishing. "Really means"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety. ""Let's take your car. "Really means"Mine is full of beer cans and burger wrappers and is completely out of gas. ""Woman driver. "Really means"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me. ""I don't care what color you paint the kitchen. "Really means"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray,mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white. ""It's a guy thing. "Really means"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical. ""Can I help with dinner? "Really means"Why isn't it already on the table? ""Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear. "Really meanAbsolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling. "Good idea. "Really means"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating. ""Have you lost weight? "Really means"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill. ""My wife doesn't understand me. "Really means"She's heard all my stories before and is tired of them. ""It would take too long to explain. "Really means"I have no idea how it works. ""I'm getting more exercise lately. "Really means"The batteries in the remote are dead. ""I got a lot done. "Really means"I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture. ""We're going to be late. "Really means"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac. ""Hey, I've read all the classics. "Really means"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972. ""You cook just like my mother used to. "Really means"She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too. ""I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind. "Really means"I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra. ""Take a break, honey, you're working too hard. "Really means"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner. ""That's interesting, dear. "Really means"Are you still talking? ""Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love. "Really means"I forgot our anniversary again. ""You expect too much of me. "Really means"You want me to stay awake. ""It's a really good movie. "Really means"It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and Heather Locklear. ""That's women's work. "Really means"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless. ""Will you marry me? "Really means"Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter. ""Go ask your mother. "Really means"I am incapable of making a decision. ""You know how bad my memory is. "Really means"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday. ""I was just thinking about you and got you these roses. "Really means"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe. ""Football is a man's game. "Really means"Women are generally too smart to play it. ""Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal. "Really means"I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt. ""I do help around the house. "Really means"I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket. ""Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing. "Really means"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon. ""I can't find it. "Really means"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless. ""What did I do this time? "Really means"What did you catch me at? ""What do you mean, you need new clothes? "Really means"You just bought new clothes 3 years ago. ""She's one of those rabid feminists. "Really means"She refused to make my coffee. ""But I hate to go shopping. "Really means"Because I always wind up outside the dressing room holding your purse. ""No, I left plenty of gas in the car. "Really means"You may actually get it to start. ""I'm going to stop off for a quick one with the guys. "Really means"I am planning on drinking myself into a vegetative stupor with my chest pounding, mouth breathing, pre-evolutionary companions. ""I heard you. "Really means"I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hopingdesperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me. ""You know I could never love anyone else. "Really means"I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse. ""You look terrific. "Really means"Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving. ""I brought you a present. "Really means"It was Free Ice Scraper Night at the ball game. ""I missed you. "Really means"I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper. ""I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are. "Really means"No one will ever see us alive again. ""We share the housework. "Really means"I make the messes, she cleans them up. ""This relationship is getting too serious. "Really means"I like you more than my truck. ""I recycle. "Really means"We could pay the rent with the money from my empties. ""Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful. "Really means"Oh, man, what have you done to yourself? ""It sure snowed last night. "Really means"I suppose you're going to nag me about shoveling the walk now. ""It's good beer. "Really means"It was on sale. ""I don't need to read the instructions. "Really means"I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help. ""I'll fix the garbage disposal later. "Really means"If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one. ""I'll take you to a fancy restaurant. "Really means"Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window. ""I broke up with her. "Really means"She dumped me.

I was born and raised in Onida S.D.

Too long...

I don't know how you can stand it. Perhaps, if I could get a job down there, I could learn how to withstand your climate.

Was the Rectii story shared?

Olathe rocks

Well you're not missing much today.