The other morning I woke up hearing a high pitched gas explosion & immediately thought, "Damnit, now I gotta smell her rotten ass." It occurred to me the wife & daughter were out @ her parents' for the night so I immediately sat up to see our Golden squirting out a puddle on the bathroom floor. First time that's ever happened. It was feeding time so I thought he was getting impatient when he tried to get me up.

My wife will not crap anywhere but home. I can't help but wonder how some thing that looks that good can stink so bad?

Only fat women poop. The poop a lot.

Only fat and minority women poop. Black, Native American (hell I live around a bunch here in AZ and it's like their perfume) and Mexican women all stink it up so bad that you can smell it in the hallway of a theater and/or store. It's probably the food they eat, which isn't healthy for them. lol

I took a shit earlier tonight that crept through the entire house. It dominated every molecule. It smelled like hot beer was poured onto fresh cat shit.

The OP and Shogun's stories were amusing.

There used to be a very large group of Indian people that hung out in this one building at Northwest. Granted they smelled bad in the first place, but when they gathered, the odor was UN-immaginable. If you happened to meet one as they were walking out of the bathroom... You were better off just shitting your pants. That bathroom needed to be put on lockdown.

Gf just pooped then wanted to cuddle. I told her to go to bed.

I told my wife that if she ever farted around me I'd divorce her.

Been laughing for 2 solid minutes.

Are you that janitor? :hmmm:

this thread is ****in hilar

That's funny, because my goal in life is to one day make such a large mess out of a public bathroom that it requires educated people to clean it up.

Like, we're talking planning and strategy. At least 10 types of chemicals, and one of them should be something you can't just buy over the counter. Machinery should be used. Making lists. Hiring EXTRA people to complete the task as efficiently as possible or face the wrath of what my poop might bring.

3 weeks ago I pooped in the handicap stall at the mall. **** you I was picking up a gift for my daughter, that's why I was at the mall. Anyway... apparently the toilet was already clogged because my job wasn't particularly impressive nor was the paperwork. It over-flowded and ran all over the floor. Luckily there was a drain in the floor but the mess was left behind. I felt sorry for the unlucky janitor who had to clean that up but wtf was I suppossed to do?

I left without a worry.

No I'm not handicapped but no one else was around and their stalls are so large and luxurious...

Good for you. I'm not handicapped either. I just push this chair around for the parking.


Happens all the time. There can be 10 stalls & 1 handicap. The able bodied person will use the hdcp stall 90% of the time. After all they're very large & comfy so why not be comfortable while leaving your fecal behind.

And in those instances I have zero problems cathing right out in the open. Sure, I might be able to jam myself into one of those regular stalls but the door would be open anyways. So I back right up to the occupied hdcp stall & do my thing. There sure are lotsa squeamish grown men. ROFL

I have a gift for posting the wrong thing at the wrong time. It's a calling I think.

FWIW the toilet looked free and clear... until I flushed. Then all hell broke loose. Oh and I didn't mention the only other stall was dirty.